Louise Wener: Novelist

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I almost *fell down* an escalator at the sight of a poster advertising the quondam [Sleeper] singer-songwriter's second book. Good luck to her, I guess. Anyone had the reading pleasure?

― HKM, Thursday, 23 September 2004 11:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Yep. MOR, but well-written MOR. She wrote a short story for me once that was pure Jack Rosenthal but the novels feature 'relationships' and are thusly chick-lit, albeit chick-lit that listens to the Pixies.

Escalator adverts on Tube = contract of at least £100k.

Her sister is the novelist Sue Margolis, who is married to the guy who writes about gizmos and such. Sue's books do well in America as they are de-facto Jewish Princess chick-lit.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 23 September 2004 11:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I tell you one thing and one thing only - you'd be doing "all write" if you had Louise Wener's head on your crotch!

― Louise Rocks, Thursday, 23 September 2004 11:36 (twenty-one years ago)

yea but I hear she's known to sleeper round

― lukey (Lukey G), Thursday, 23 September 2004 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

in that department i heard her described as 'statueseque'. hardly sale of the century...

― bobby davros (blueski), Thursday, 23 September 2004 12:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Is she better then reigning chick-lit queen Jennifer Weiner? (reigning in the u.s. at least. hmmm, wener -vs- weiner)

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 23 September 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

She inbetween 'er novels.

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 23 September 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Does someone have a recent pic of Louise Wener? I'd still totally give her one just because she's Louise Wener who sung such delightful tunes as What do a I do Now and Alice in Vain. She's perfect really.

― Louise Wener, Thursday, 23 September 2004 12:25 (twenty-one years ago)

So you think she is delicious?

― Davel (Davel), Thursday, 23 September 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

that's a pie

― teh pow! (blueski), Thursday, 23 September 2004 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear annoying person posting Louise fantasia,

She's a good girl. Now sod off.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 23 September 2004 12:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Umm, you seem to want to be her.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 23 September 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Be taught a lesson by Louise Wener

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 23 September 2004 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

(He's not kidding there Cal. Shame it was in August just gone...)

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 23 September 2004 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

chick-lit that listens to the Pixies.

This would be my favorite back-cover blurb ever.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 23 September 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

It's wrong of her to breed, in the sense of, producing many novels.

I hope that someone wracked by ... pyromania does not get near a warehouse containing many copies of them.

What is wrong with Jack Rosenthal?

I think that Suzy is thinking of Jim. I know that she objects to some of the rhetoric that he employs in his coverage of motor racing.

― the bellefox, Thursday, 23 September 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

This is clearly Britpop day on ILE.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 23 September 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

it could've been Ronny, or Ronald if you prefer

― teh pow! (blueski), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope that someone wracked by ... pyromania does not get near a warehouse containing many copies of them.

that would be ironic, as Sleeper had a song about a pyromaniac.

I hear that the new novelist Louise Wener has a new facial expression. I'm glad I don't have to change jobs every time I want a new facial expression.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

What is this new facial expression? Is it still rodential?

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

it's very rodential. still. i read parts of her first book as i worked in a book shop and shit like that was readily available to flick through. it's awful, the worst kind of mind numbing chick lit imagineable. but it was written from the guy's perspective which was even worse for some reason. god, i just dislike the woman. she's worse than alan titchmarch because at least he can also create decking and shit, all wener bint can do is play 3 chords and form a second rate band. nobody knows who i am, sorry. rant over.

― trix, Thursday, 23 September 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

it's very different to the old one, in a Ferrari versus Magnum kind of way.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 23 September 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

wow which episode was that?!

― teh pow! (blueski), Thursday, 23 September 2004 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I would like to insert my penis in her vagina, or her rectum!

― Fierce Pancake, Thursday, 23 September 2004 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

er, ok.

she was on radcliffe last night (bbc radio2) talking about sleeper, her new book and poker.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/aod/rpms/r2_radcliffethurs.rpm

― koogs (koogs), Friday, 24 September 2004 10:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought she came over quite well on that Britpop rockumentary, but I dislike her books. She is the indie Alan Titschmarsh.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller), Friday, 24 September 2004 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I would have liked to hear the Radcliffe show.

I would have liked to see the rockumentary!

I think Wener wrote songs with more than 3 chords.

― the bellefox, Friday, 24 September 2004 11:17 (twenty-one years ago)

she is very lovely. i met her at a party once with her boyfriend. even though i was off my head on coke and being a fucked up little cow she was still charming. haven't read her books, like her reords. she is pretty but not pretty, just normal nice looking

― bastia, Friday, 24 September 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

is it time for me to tell my
louise-wener-gave-me-her-bracelet-made-out-of
little-love-hearts story? no? fair enough.

― piscesboy, Friday, 24 September 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

c-man got lucky?

― Real Goths Don't Wear Black (Enrique), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 08:50 (nineteen years ago)

Ah but is she a Grup?

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:02 (nineteen years ago)

They shoulda called that article What's Wrong with Being Shit?

― A Van That's Loaded With a Sore Head (noodle vague), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:02 (nineteen years ago)

WTF? I mean, I'm not one to rip the Guardian for no apparent reason as I read it fairly regularly, but lately they've been pushing BABIES BABIES FAMILY BABIES like the middle class is dying out or something.

TAKE YOUR BABY GAP AND SHOVE IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE. And that's not just my biological clock speaking.

― Tweed on Tweed (kate), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:05 (nineteen years ago)

Spring, innit?

― A Van That's Loaded With a Sore Head (noodle vague), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:08 (nineteen years ago)

Go away. Men smell like goats. I wouldnt want one in my bathtub, let alone swimming in my gene pool. Bah. They're just trying to make me feel guilty.

― Tweed on Tweed (kate), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:09 (nineteen years ago)

Anyway. Off topic. Sorry. I shall cease.

― Tweed on Tweed (kate), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:10 (nineteen years ago)

They are worried about their pensions.

I am not aware of any backlash against motherhood. I think Louise Wener is making it up.

I think I prefer The Fifth Child by Dolly Lessing anyway.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:11 (nineteen years ago)

Of course there's not a backlash against motherhood.

It's just that single, middle aged women are sick of being told that they are EVIL AND SELFISH WOMEN because they failed to have babies on account of their careers. (Despite the fact that the number one cause for failure to breed in middle class women is not their careers, but the utter tragic ineptitude of the British Male, oops, I mean, failure to find a suitable mate.)

God, it is spring, isn't it? This wouldn't bother me otherwise.

― Tweed on Tweed (kate), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:14 (nineteen years ago)

x-post

I think she just wanted to tell everyone her horrendous birth story. It made Chris feel quite ill, and he didn't get to the end of it.

― Vicky (Vicky), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:15 (nineteen years ago)

The world would've managed fine without Mizz Wener's career.

I thought you were supposed to be in a good mood?

― A Van That's Loaded With a Sore Head (noodle vague), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:16 (nineteen years ago)

I read a bit of the article, but her mememe writing style is still as annoying as it ever was, so I didn't read anymore.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:20 (nineteen years ago)

i didn't even read beyond the intro.

― Real Goths Don't Wear Black (Enrique), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:26 (nineteen years ago)

This still makes me kick myself.

I was at a blur gig and this cute little lady comes up to me, starts chatting and being all flirty. I remember thinking she looked familiar but I was too busy to take notice of her as I was trying to watch blur. Anyway she walks off after a few minutes and my mate comes back from the bar and says “ I’ve just walked past that girl from sleeper that were on before blur”.

D’oh!

― not-goodwin (not-goodwin), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:28 (nineteen years ago)

'the truth of childbirth seems shrouded in silence'
????
Does she not have any female friends? In my experience women who've had kids are very willing to tell you all the details if you want to hear them (and sometimes even if you don't!). And the experiences range widely from good (quick, not too painful) to the bad (lengthy, painful and requiring medical intervention). Her experience is not The Truth about childbirth. It is only one example of what can happen.

― indolent girl (indolent girl), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:49 (nineteen years ago)

well, naturally.

There are a range of reactions in this situation. The bad are mostly surprising. The good are usually expected.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 09:59 (nineteen years ago)

My mum told me all the horrible stories when I was quite young. And then told me not to worry about it, because if it was as bad as people made out, no-one would ever do it for a second (or further) time. This is maybe the most sensible thing anyone has said on this matter.

All columnists are self-opinionated and full of their own self-importance (with the advantage of being paid to be so), so La Wener's outpourings don't matter to me any more than your average pub bore. Her first book was dull as ditchwater too.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:09 (nineteen years ago)

That's a very sensible way of looking at it. I find it frustrating that people get paid to produce such drivel though!

― indolent girl (indolent girl), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:20 (nineteen years ago)

(by "pub bore", I mean "ILX poster", obviously)

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:23 (nineteen years ago)

But we do it for free! Like a sort of public service....

― indolent girl (indolent girl), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:28 (nineteen years ago)

I think it's that the commissioning editor likes her and she wanted to bitch about Lionel Shriver, which is in itself an excellent reason to publish. However her own breeding story could have kept well out.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:30 (nineteen years ago)

"Having a child is nothing like it is on the Persil adverts."

Um, what?

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:35 (nineteen years ago)

Clean white and lemony.

― Onimo, father of 2 and a bit (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:38 (nineteen years ago)

"I needn't have worried. Six months in, I find parenthood absolutely wonderful... I felt as if I was on E."

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:44 (nineteen years ago)

There is something in The Times today where someone moans about her friends having babies and (gasps) changing. It is by "Bel Mooney". I haven't read it.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:49 (nineteen years ago)

My best friend from school had two kids in rapid succession and they exhaust her, but in a good way - people who don't have them can get frustrated on a very basic level with, say, unpreventable things like needng at least 90 minutes to launch toddlers on a group outing, which unencumbered women totally don't realise about. She is totally taking a five-year career break and is lucky enough to have the material support to allow it, but she worked her arse off to do it, and will probably have to change her career later.

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:53 (nineteen years ago)

God that article just makes me even more fiercely proud of the fact I never want children, bleugh.

― Trayce is not a guy! (trayce), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:56 (nineteen years ago)

But could it be that reviews of parenthood are much like reviews of anything else? The negative ones are more fun to read and write, but for every parent finding it less than enchanting, there are a hundred others thrilling to it in secret.

...whereby she goes on to encourage women it's a good thing to have children by telling tales of having her insides ripped out with a rusty spoon (but it's OK because she has an ickle baby at the end of it). Yes, very encouraging and useful. Thanks.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:59 (nineteen years ago)

It's not all rusty spoons and ripped organs you know! There's years of piss and shit and vomit afterwards!

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 11:00 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, I'm supposed to say "but I wouldn't change it for the world" here, right?

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

You forgot the moaning, Ger. Always with the moaning.

― A Van That's Loaded With a Sore Head (noodle vague), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 11:08 (nineteen years ago)

There's years of piss and shit and vomit afterwards!

Well, if you will stay in the pub all day every day to avoid the responsibility of fatherhood... (haha, I'm funny, me)

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 11:22 (nineteen years ago)

The Guardian/Observer runs a piece like this about once a fortnight. It's either a mother writing that having babies is not as great as everyone tells you or not as shit as everyone tells you.

Rachel Cusk's book A Life's Work is the basic template

― bham (bham), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 12:36 (nineteen years ago)

Come to think of it, this is the kind of thing they tell you to pitch if you want to be a freelance writer.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 12:49 (nineteen years ago)

Wener has a point, which the general tenor of this thread proves.

― Marie Angelier, Wednesday, 5 April 2006 13:41 (nineteen years ago)

I think you'll find the general tenor of the thread is directed at Ms. Wener in specific, not at motherhood in general.

― Treacle in a Flaming Wheelbarrow (kate), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

Um...

TAKE YOUR BABY GAP AND SHOVE IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE.

Go away. Men smell like goats. I wouldnt want one in my bathtub, let alone swimming in my gene pool.

God that article just makes me even more fiercely proud of the fact I never want children, bleugh.

It's not all rusty spoons and ripped organs you know! There's years of piss and shit and vomit afterwards!

― Marie Angelier, Wednesday, 5 April 2006 13:49 (nineteen years ago)

New to ILX, are you?

― Treacle in a Flaming Wheelbarrow (kate), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 13:52 (nineteen years ago)

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