how do i convince my roommate to switch rooms with me¿

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i want the big room, goddammit¡

― dysøn (dyson), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

she was able to usurp the larger of the rooms by inviting her "boyfriend" to live with us (without checking with me 1st - but that's a-whole-nother thread). now he's gone and we've lived at this place for over a year now. there's not enough room for my computer in my tiny room so it sits in the living room - i'm about to buy a brand new one and do not want a 2,500 investment that i need for work (of the freelance variety) sitting out there. esp. since an apt. upstairs was broken into recently. so fuck her. i want to switch. she was fine with it last week and now yesterday says that she won't do it if her computer won't fit. i told her it would not and that she can pay more rent if she wants to keep more realestate to herself.

― dysøn (dyson), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

While she is asleep sneek into her room and reverse everything, all her furniture, posters, rugs, ornaments etcteera, along the east/west axis. Also paint everything the opposite colour of what it is at the moment. She'll be quite happy to move then, MOVE OUT THAT IS BECAUSE SHE'LL THINK SHE'S MENTAL AND HAVE TO GO TO A LOONY FARM AND LIVE WITH OTHER LOONIES.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe you could offer to pay her fifty bucks for it. or swap something else in return-better parking spot or something.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

or you could buy some catfish bait and place in in inconspicous spots around her room. it is the rankest smell in the world. if she could not determine the origin of the smell, she may decide to trade you for your smaller though nasally friendlier room. then you could simply clean up the bait.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Piss on her hands while she is asleep until she relents.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

As the person with the biggest room in my flat I have no sympathy for you whatsoever.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

You should pay different rents, but most importantly, you should have arranged this beforehand. I suspect you're screwed.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

her room already smells kinda funny, actually.
it's the stench of slut & i hope will come out after a few weeks.

& i don't feel as if i need to offer her anything really (aside for ultimatums), considering the nefarious means in which she got the room. and that she's gotten away with paying the same in rent.
basically this is about retribution, not compromise¡

several x-post - we should've arranged several things before hand (like who we were living with) but hey that's life. i'm all about correcting my mistakes.

― dysøn (dyson), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Could you start dating her?

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

ah, the stench of slut.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Leave dead mice in her breakfast cereal box.

― Jimmybommy JimmyK'KANG (Nick Southall), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

How can you be a room mate and not live in the same room?

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

While she's sleeping you and some friends lift everything from her room into your room and vice versa. Including her. She then wakes up and just assumes she's always had that room, otherwise why would all of her stuff be there? She may need to be medicated for that to work.

― Craig Gilchrist, Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Piss on her some more. Piss on her head. Piss on her with your willy.

― Rasputin Kitten (Nick Southall), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i though about switching everything while she was on vacation a few weeks ago.
but thought again when i found the vat of lube next to her bed.

― dysøn (dyson), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd go with the pissing thing. Piss in her vat of lube.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

what is with you people today¿

― dysøn (dyson), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

There's an empty (I think) basement apartment right below our place. Cheap. But you wont play Boston at 2:30am like the last guy will you?

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Put hot sauce in her lube! Pfft, amateurs.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

ha haha ha
kim - i promise nothing¡

― dysøn (dyson), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

bust a nut in her lube.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Thursday, 23 September 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Smear her lube all over your shlong, then beat off, then scrape the remaining lube off your hands and your package, and put it back into the tube of lube.

Works every time.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 23 September 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

"How do I impregnate my roommate without her knowledge?"

"Sit her down and ask her if she wouldn't mind switching rooms; explain about your space concerns and offer to pay more of the rent for the larger room."

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Thursday, 23 September 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

wtf is going ON here?

― Kim (Kim), Thursday, 23 September 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

it's my fault for mentioning teh lube¡

― dysøn (dyson), Thursday, 23 September 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

get a girlfriend and move her in and claim the big room

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 23 September 2004 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Then dump that ho.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 24 September 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

that goes without saying

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 24 September 2004 11:40 (twenty-one years ago)

and remember constant asssex on the couch claiming it's necessary as there's no room in your room.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 24 September 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Saw around her bed in a big circle. Hopefully, she'll fall thrugh to the basement, rather than the rest of the building falling down.

― dave225 (Dave225), Friday, 24 September 2004 11:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Play 'Evil Genius' (or the demo at least) and take screencaps.
C&P here face into the screencaps and print them out.
Leave them lying about in obvious places.

She will become convinced her bed is about to open into a swimming pool full of sharks, or a giant guillotine will come out of the ceiling when she's asleep, and will give you her room.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Friday, 24 September 2004 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

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