The Anonymittyville Horror

Anonymity protects. It's sneaky, it's empowering. Hiding behind anonymity one can create new identies, the self is fragmented and all that pomo stuff...I felt silly posting anonymously, so I gave up after 3 posts (I only said nice things though!).

I don't like anonymity. I'm fascinated by the idea of changing my personality, but changing my name to hide? No...I've just never felt the need. I find it easy to be complimentary, and I think perhaps refusal to be anonymous keeps me from being bitchy at times.

Ok, Lyra.

Oh, just kidding. Actually Maria is one of my favorite people here.

Kate's right. Nearly all the anonymous posts I've made have been complimentary - I don't think I've ever made one that was intentionally hostile (provocative, maybe). And I don't make a habit of doing it, I hasten to add: I doubt any of them have even been noticed!

"Ugly Wife" = kate?????

I phear that I'd be as successful as doomp4tr0l in keeping an anonymous post style going....I'd prefer people not to be anonymous, and I don't like the anonymous posting threads much.

Oh yes, Sean has just reminded me. Maria is not my real name because I am hiding. (HYPOCRITE!) I'm under oath to my parents not to tell anyone my name on the Internet, and though I have broken this I try not to break it EVERY time I'm online. This is for privacy, though, not so I can say things that I wouldn't say otherwise.

I never post anonymously, I only say things I wish to put my name to. And it seems that DG is no longer a pseudonym.

I think ugly wife isnt anonnymous enough. Specially if your brother knows who what a tesseract is.

I don't like my real name so I use my nickname online. I dont think it makes a difference to how I behave though.

DG is an atrocity.

I just use my first name, but I don't vary that.

using another name isn't anonymity. maria, you are always maria here,so, here you are maria.

So fucking what? Everybody on this fucking board is anonymous. Everybody's a phoney. Everybody's constructed characters for themselves because they are so fucking scared of dealing with real life. Who gives a flying fuck about names? Jesus: "oh if you don't like someone tell them to their face don't sneak to the headmaster" primary school crap. For fuck's sake grow up.

FYI, the screen name change to "Ugly Wife" was not a groundless ploy for anonymity, there was a very specific reason that it happened. I told several people, including DG as moderator, that it was me before commencing posting. Most people who know me well guessed within hours, especially those who knew what I'd been listening to lately.

I think this thread was more a request for discussion about whether people feel more comfortable being nasty behind peoples backs or nice behind peoples backs.

For me, it's much harder to be nicer to a person's face, it feels awkward, as I don't take compliments well, I don't give compliments well. I have found myself waiting until a friend goes out of the room before I exclaim how great I think they are, after having teased them mercilessly to their face for half an hour.

I hide behind annonymity to show attraction, so it seems strange to me that others would use anonnymity to show replusion.

Sounds like two sides of the same mirror, mutually dependent.

Who are you anyway, UW? Life's too short for guessing.

"Everybody's constructed characters for themselves because they are so fucking scared of dealing with real life." Erm, not me thank you. I only go by my initials cos there are certain people who I wouldn't want to invade this board.

Differentiation between the internet and real life is soooo '96.

It's just fucking stupid. It should be easier to stand over what you say here. Mildly easier anyway. I don't have much respect for anyone who, for whatever reason, anonymously says something nasty. In fact I don't have alot of respect for people who say something even mildly nasty anonymously. I mean, stop trying to make criticism diplomatic. It isn't and it can't be. Or if it's not criticism and just a bit of fun, then surely theres no need to be anonymous. The point also is if someone who you know has a tendency to be nasty signed their post, it would remove the impact somewhat, I'm sure some of the people posting those bitchy comments anonymously know this too, and that's why they're doing it, I mean the really bitchy ones btw. Er scattered I know but I think that's it.

i am neither anonymous or phoney. this is my real name, my only e- mail address, i'm the same in person, and i've met a whole bunch of you anyway.

I never use anonymity to make attacks on people. That is lame. I went anonymous on the ILE nominations thread just cause I thought it was more interesting for the nominees that way (=knowing it was me nominating them would be some kind of let down)

Marcello appears to have gone bonkers.

I made a few anonymous nominations on the ILE Awards threads because since I'm moderating that board and the awards were my idea etc etc I thought it would be better form that way. But I'll happily delete them all and do it under my own name if the concept upsets people. Also for the reasons Nick mentioned - oh its Tom nominating me because he's my mate etc.

That let down you're talking about goes both ways like I was saying above. I mean I don't feel personally anything nasty has been said about me but I can see how if someone sees something mean posted about them and it's signed, then they can dismiss it more easily perhaps. Considering it may be from someone who they dislike, or someone who they know they don't get on with, therefore it's pretty underhand of people to do it anonymously, it's like let's try and make this person worry a little. I dunno, people probably don't care. I just think that's the way it is.

marcello, wtf? i don't come here to adopt poses and i certainly don't come here becuase i fear real life. i freely admit that i come here to escape the tedium of work occasionally, but that's marketing for you :) i use my real name because i think it's fairly obvious what i think about stuff and, should i have a problem with anything that anyone says, i don't think that sniping at them from behind an assumed name is the answer. kate has her own reasons for adopting a pseudonym, as pointed out above, and we now all know who she is. so she's hardy 'anonymous' is she!?!

31 + 33 had a persona on ILM that grew too big and got mucho hatemail [anon email=SuX]. I could have carried on with the schtick but tried to strip it away[sean#shorn] after being led to ILE[posting as 31=as boring as reading 31]. I haven't praised people online much as it comes over like crony backslapping[though I did gush loads on ILM], I tend to cringe[and reading back it does seem cliquey]. Did I post^the most thoughtful/vulnerable e-mail I ever got was off Heybuddy^ or write how I was addicted to ILM when on my last legs[the friday of many posts] even though I couldn't really afford to connect. Answer why I didn't and you've sussed me out. As 33 won't be returning for longtemps and I can't be arsed doing a dying swan again[though I was NEVER a gwei lo] sean31 it is - no alibi. Feel my reality and yawn!!!!

er, back to the kestionne[soz] - anon would make me more sarky so a persona was better ? - something you could rail against..and did you often ?;~{-

I'm just disappointed there's not a most anonymous poster award, I could have been a contender.

Well.

I feel a bit of a steenking hypocrite for posting, cos I have been guilty of this in the past, but I'll do my best. Firstly, I'd better explain why I posted anonymously a couple of months ago. The reasons were twofold I suppose - one, to make a point about the nature of how people present themselves on these boards, and whether someone who "sets themselves up" for criticism can then be justifiably upset if people are less than sympathetic. This doesn't make much sense unless you know the thread I'm talking about, which has since been deleted, but the point I was trying to make was that perhaps a better way of discussing the particular topic on ILE would have to been to have made points about the topic in general rather than detailing the minutae of the very personal case in hand - since Kate has used several pseudonyms on ILE this would have been what I'd have done. This is a pretty flawed argument on my part though, on several levels. Mostly becuase of this, and all the fuss it seemed to cause, I've never posted anonymously since - and for the record, I have only made one nomination on the "ILE Nominations" threads, and it was under my own name, so not guilty on that count.

The second reason was a bit more subtle. Kate and I had had "frank exchanges of views" on other lists previously, and I got the impression she probably didn't like me much - fair enough, she's certainly not alone. I felt that by posting anonymously my opinions (which, for the record, I still stand by) were more likely to be treated seriously rather than dismissed as "that guy who's out to get me", ie, by posting anonymously I was depersonalising the situation to hopefully allow debate rather than just character assasination. I think this is a little more justifiable on my part, however it still backfired because everyone became more interested in who I was rather than what I'd said.

The bottom line: posting anonymously = Dud. Which is why I won't be doing it again. I'm interested in why Kate feels the need to use so many different guises, but I'm guessing there is probably a reason for it. It's her choice.

I'd be very surprised if Kate and I disagreed on every level. Having said that, she does like the Dandy Warhols...

I have never posted anonymously on ILE, but I posted on the award thread anonymously for obvious reasons (ieones mntioned above). I have little problem either criticising or praising people - except I don't do it very often, and when I do people often think I am being disingenuous.

Uh, Marcello, feel free to speak for yourself, as everyone else said...I drop by occasionally to take a break from work, which is hectic and sometimes frustrating and needs to be broken from. I don't get online after work or on weekends (much to the chagrin of people who only have my "home" email address, as I never check it), and I certainly haven't erected some fake personality to "hide" myself from the world, and I think claiming that everyone on a message board is anonymous (a lot of us know each other in "real life" btw) and hiding from real life and lying is quite immature and wrong - the internet really isn't some ghettoised fragment of society anymore populated by fan boys and computer geeks.

I'm just offended by the statement because there IS a huge difference between people who post everything under the same name (be it real or a consistent alias - I recognize some people's needs to keep their name private and that's certainly fair) and people who post everything "normal" under one name and then post flames under a fake one. Have some balls, if you don't have the balls to say something with people knowing who you are, don't say it at all. There is a huge difference between the two things.

I don't go anonymous, so I can't answer your question, Kate. But I think people just, in general, are cowards. So if they have a fear of being confronted, either by someone being uncomfortable by their compliments or someone fighting them, they will hide from it. *shrug* There are times when I think that every single anonymous post should be followed by a moderator stating "And that post was made by so and so" but that'd be time consuming and difficult.

I haven't got a problem with anonymous posting per se, that's the prerogative of any individual if they so choose. However, if they abuse that prerogative by using it for the purpose of causing distress to another individual on this board, then I have absolutely no reservations about "outing" them. I've done so in the past, and if necessary, I will continue to do so in the future.

Well, did I call it, or did I fucking call it?

The conditions which resulted in me adopting a new screen name have reoccured, ON THE DAY which I finally admitted to my identity. My point has been proven. Sorry, but bye-bye to Ugly Wife.

Whoah, now I'm really confused... are you talking about something on this thread, a different thread, or something totally unconnected?

What's your problem with the point I just made, UW? Unless you're intending to cause distress to someone else on this board, I fail to see how what I said can possibly apply to you. Of course, if you are simply here to cause trouble, then good riddance.

I think it's a different thread, Trevor.

Thanks for clearing that up, Tom. In that case I'll step away from the pulpit.

UW if you admit that anyone could have guessed you out from your first posting and you weren't trying to hide then why are you saying goodbye?

Samantha, the problem is that UW has a little shadow following her on ILE whenever her true identity is revealed, and she doesn't want to share real or virtual space with that person. She hasn't reached the point where she can ignore the person's presence, but soon, maybe, I hope...

Other people have said it, but Marcello's post was insulting and absurd. Maybe he's just in a bad mood.

If you're referring to me, and I hope you're not, then I am *not* a shadow following anyone around. I posted anonymously some time ago because someone was trying to dictate to me that I shouldn't be part of ILE and there were discussions that I wanted to take part in (namely 8-bit Heaven).

Similarly today I posted, under my real name, to a thread that I am generally interested in: in response to something said by DG. I don't believe I was following anyone around by posting to that thread, nor do I think I was being malicious.

This is an open public forum and I think anyone should post who wants to. If you don't want people to know your real name, adopt a false one. Several people have admitted to doing this (including me). If there's someone you don't wish to speak with, then ignore them. Don't respond to them, avoid threads you think they're active in, whatever. There's plenty of discussion here for everyone to have a little piece and I'm sure there's tons of lurkers.

I'd much prefer active participants rather than lurkers.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! NO MORE! You *know* what I mean you two, and I think everyone else knows and we've been through this, leave it before it spirals, okay? Line! Drawn! End!

I really do not like it when people sign themselves A. Nonny. Mouse. OH PLEASE! We've had years of fake names, be a little more interesting!!

It is amazing to me that an Oxford educated lawyer really can have no clue that the words "NO CONTACT" really do mean NO CONTACT.

Insulting and absurd! Fantastic! Immature! FANTASTIC!!!

Honest? You bet!

I've opened up some sore wounds, have I not? Couldn't be because there's some TRUTH in what I said, is there?

We're all faking it, present author included. If we were all true to what we really were, the posts would be full of Pinteresque pauses and/or "FUCK OFF CUNT/FUCK YOU CUNT/SHOULD HAVE BEEN 60 MILLION/ETC" and/or uncut torrents of self-loathing. Most posters come on these boards to escape from shit and/or cope with shit better. What are the Dunedin lot or the NYC lot really like? How long a word is "Asperger's"? How many people on this board have attempted suicide? How many are racists? How many have criminal records?

There are posters on these boards who wake up in the morning crying. Posters with 20 boxes of paracetamols in the bathroom cabinet "just in case."

The response to some of my post-Laura threads proved conclusively that brutal honesty doesn't tend to wash well on these boards.

Isn't it just the case that Doompatrol is the only 100% honest fucking poster ever to have clambered on these boards? Don't we all fundamentally agree with him?

On my Laura threads I was as honest and raw as honesty and rawness can be. But was even writing these threads an excuse to avoid reality rather than facing it full on? I don't know; that's my honest answer. I haven't worked it out yet.

On a personal level, I just feel like the Ernie Wise of IL* - completely fucking useless without the other half.

It's a pity that Laura never had anything to do with FT/IL* - not for her, necessarily, but just that things would without doubt had been better if you had gotten to know the two of us. One definitely balanced out the other. We were a great double act.

However, I see no reason to apologise for or rescind my comments. Names are tags, labels. There to be used for the sake of convenience, not for constructing a hagiography around them. The expression is all.

And I got you thinking, which is kinda the point of my posting anything.

And mark his words mind you very wise man our Marcus very wise curmudgeon indeed if I do say so myself and I can add but nought save don't be so blooming cheeky towards one another as are arm in arm together against the dreaded Hun o'er sunset skies this day of days 1832 that's 1997 in old money.

Be nice to your neighbour. Treat your old comrades as your own. You never know what roads you may need to cross in later life and how big the pelican will grow. Mark my words as are very wise oh yes.

silly me and my war against 100% honesty!!

I think people here are more honest and well-adjusted than you give them credit for, Marcello, certainly the ones I've met don't strike me as people with legions of skeletons in their closets.

DG are you ever going to update yr blog?

re-reading your original post and reading the new, maybe there is something in what you say Marcello. by what you say, i am faking it on ilx, sadly (or perhaps not) this means i am also faking it 'In Real Life'. i haven't managed to separate being on here from the rest of my life, just as i haven't managed to sort out being different in e-mail from beiong different on the phone to being different in a pub to being different on the bus. they are all 'faking it' because i'm expressing how i am at the moment, which, like anyone else, alters from moment to moment. there is no 'real' and there is no 'honest'.

I had an idea for doing it last week, but then things happened and I've got other stuff to worry about, but yes I may well update it this week should I think of something to write about.

Realness doesn't equal 100% honesty, or if it does then realness is of limited use. The presentation of a social self is the equivalent of wearing clothes - maybe it is 'fake' but it extends the self, spares others and keeps you warm too.

may i be the first to say - just like your beard then, tom? :):):)

Alas my beard is not fake, and others are not spared.

oh, darn it. you and your damned logic!