Describe the plot of a novel with the same title as a Red Hot Chili Peppers album or song

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Because I really want to read a book called Freaky Styley.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Uplift Mofo Party Play, by John Updike

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

er, plaN.

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Californication by Bret Easton Ellis

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Blood Sugar Sex Magik, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Plot: four useless old fucks who already have far too much money gather together every three years to annoy the rest of the human race

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Under the Bridge, by the Grimm Bros

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I would also like to read "Catholic School Girls Rule."

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Truman Don't Kill Capote!

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

i fuck
them
just
to see

the look

on their

face

-e e cummings

― Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

"True Men Don't Kill Coyotes" by Jack London and Ernest Hemingway

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

aw crap, my clever formatting didn't translate to html.
the fate of the poet in modern times (hands wringing sound)

― Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"This is the thread where ILE posters show off their ninja-like reading comprehension skills"

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Breaking the Girl by James Patterson

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Plots take too long, Dan.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Give It Away: A Novel, by Luther Vandross: A pair of slinky panties named Buck, kidnapped from its home in California, is thrown in to a harsh life of dangerous ways of living in the Klondike gold rush that is going on. Buck is half french cut, half bikini. He is taught to obey his owner by the "guy in the red sweater"he has to learn to survive on his own; not to trust any one. this is a great adventure story and a lesson of life!

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

(note: I'm adapting my synopses from Amazon reader reviews)

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

The premise of this thread is like a McSweeney's piece.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Freaky Styley by Paula Danziger (1983). An overacheiving bookworm learns lessons about life when partnered in a school project with Crystal, the "new wave" girl who just moved to town.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Suck My Kiss by Tom Clancy: One of the best and most popular of Clancy's autobiographical novels, Suck My Kiss is based on experiences the writer had during the mid-1950s while living in California, after he'd become interested in Buddhism's spiritual mode of understanding and wearing socks on his cock. One of the book's main characters, Japhy Ryder, is based on the real poet Les Nessman, who was a close friend and whose interest in Buddhism influenced Clancy. This book is a must-read for any serious Clancy fan.

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Catholic School Girls Rule! by Paula Danziger (1985). A misfit "new wave" girl learns lessons about life when she is transferred to a strict Catholic school for girls.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

One Hot Minute by Nicholson Baker: A middle-aged writer makes a pot of tea. While waiting for the water to boil, he ruminates on telephone etiquette, book jacket design, the sound and feel of carpeting, and ways to furtively masturbate.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Scar Tissue by Margaret Atwood: A modern classic, Scar Tissue introduced a distinctive new voice in American fiction -- Margaret Atwood. The story of misunderstood high school girl Carrie White, her extraordinary telekinetic powers, and her violent rampage of revenge, remains one of the most barrier-breaking and shocking novels of all time.

Make a date with terror and live the nightmare that is...Scar Tissue.

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

By the Way by Joe Franklin. The popular talk-show host's autobiography candidly details the many interviews he's conducted, the heretofore untold story of his tragic childhood, and a look at what goes on behind the scenes of his famous television show.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Uplift Mofo Party Plan by Tom Wolfe (1987). Journalistic nonfiction as Wolfe joins a gang of travelling mystical tricksters who stage wild improvised psychedelic funk parties in abandoned warehouses, staged by unpredictable leader George Clinton.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Scar Tissue by J.G. Ballard: [censored]

xpost

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Californication would also work pretty well as a J.G. Ballard title.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Sir Psycho Sexy by Tom Robbins: a motorcycling mushroom farmer championing sex magick throughout America's Midwest creates an uproar among a wacky cast of peripheral characters.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I Could Have Lied by Dr. Phil: Dr. Phil once again lays down the law, this time with honesty and the repercussions of lying on the block.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Now that I think about it, I think Apache Rose Peacock would make a better Tom Robbins novel title.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Otherside by Lucy Maud Montgomery:
This revision of an iconic character, the sequel to Montgomery's Blood Sugar Sex Magic, has been one of comics publishing's most anticipated events. As installments of the OS comic appeared, controversy mounted. Much sloppier and gaudier, the strip didn't really resemble Montgomery's earlier book, and in the wake of September 11, Montgomery's in-your-face confrontation with authority figures upset some readers. The collected book edition makes it easier to appreciate why he'd take such risks. Montgomery sees Anne Shirley as an extremist, pushed to the verge of insanity because she can't compromise her beliefs. In this continuation, she's convinced today's world is controlled by powers even crazier and more ego driven than she is. And she's right. Lex Luthor and Brainiac have imprisoned, enlisted or intimidated Earth's superheroes; but the only one they can't control is the hero with no super powers, just furious moral rage. Superman, the ultimate voice of reason, tries to calm Anne. Instead, all hell breaks loose, in pages full of bursting shapes, digitized Day-Glo colors and jagged continuity. Intense as the reading experience is, it's less disturbing than Anne's assault on the masters of America and their accomplices. Montgomery peppers the book with caricatures of current politicians and pundits rubbing shoulders with outrageously cartoonish goons as they defend a computer-generated president and the Freedom From Information Act. If the masters of power are engaging in terrorism, this work suggests, why shouldn't rebels use terror in return? But how does a successful rebel avoid becoming a fascist leader himself? These are the questions Montgomery asks in this serious, important comic, a work that's intentionally disturbing in many ways and on many levels.

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Punk Rock Classic by Gina Arnold. The talented music journalist delves into the past of this jagged genre. Insights are offered from classic punk rockers such as Eddie Vedder, Scott Weiland, and Billy Corgan.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Memo to N/A:
http://www.elmoreleonard.com/item_images/01N26FE.jpg

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I read that a long time ago. Thanks tho.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Me and My Friends by Fred Durst. Just a long list of all the famous friends that Fred Durst has. Chapter 18: "Ben Stiller."

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

This Velvet Glove-Louisa May Alcott's heartwarming story of four sisters growing up during the Civil War and their battle with morphine addiction. And then they all lezz it up.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Magic Johnson by Fabrio Fabrizzi*: one woman's epic quest for the perfect lover (available at all your favorite grocery megalomart check-out counters).

*I made this name up

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Isn't that the drummer for the Strokes?

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

close enough

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Suck My Kiss A new chick lit novel about dating in the big city.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

If You Have To Ask Style tips for the utterly incompetent.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

ha ha

I have a bad feeling I will end up posting at least four more "ha ha" posts on this thread.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Get Up And Jump: A satiricial "self-help" book that catalogues all of the horrifying, oppressive aspects of life and offers the best tips for making sure that the resulting suicide attempt off of a bridge/skyscraper is a successful one.

― Dan Perry '08 (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Fight Like a Brave. The autobiography of Andruw Jones.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Knock Me Down by Robert Anton Wilson and James "The Amazing" Randi: a call-and-response collection of pieces between the famous free-thinker and the nefarious debunker, with the focus on physiology and quantum mechanics.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I just realized that there was an Amazing Randi before ILX's Amazing Randy. Wouldn't it be funny if our Amazing Randy turned out to be the real Amazing Randi?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not doing good at sticking to novels, am I?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"One Hot Minute" The Complete Microwave Cook Book!

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 18:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Jel is totally king of this thread!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 5 October 2004 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

"What Hits?" by Mario Puzo. Puzo's only attempt at comedy follows the misadventures of hapless hitman Joey Francone. When Francone is forced to take his aging mother in, he is saved from discovery only by his mother's advanced dementia.

― Hurting (Hurting), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 02:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Jel is totally king of this thread!

OTM. I'm apprehensive to even post anything.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 02:21 (twenty-one years ago)

jaymc's was OTM

― Hurting (Hurting), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 02:27 (twenty-one years ago)

all this thread is making me do is want to listen to BSSM

― cutty (mcutt), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 02:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Under the Bridge: The heartrending epic romance of the year. Dream along as Janice escapes the mundanity of married life in a short-lived series of trysts under . . .

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 02:32 (twenty-one years ago)

This is an inspired thread.

Soul to Squeeze -- Jeffrey Dahmer's only children's work, in which the author lovingly spins the story of how a goldfish falls in love with penguin. As yet unpublished, Dreamworks and Miramax are in bidding war for the film rights.

― The TAO that can be Posted is not the TAO! (The Tao that can be Posted is), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 03:13 (twenty-one years ago)

what's nefarious about James Randi?

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 03:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Coming soon to the non-fiction section:

Save The Population by Naomi Klein and Michael Moore
(wherein Klein and Moore make you feel so bad you jump off the nearest cliff. Score one for humanity!)

Parallel Universe by Stephen Hawking
(Hawking rambles on for three hundred pages and people nod and ask: "Does he take sugar in his tea?")

Universally Speaking by Richard Dawkins

(Fantastic children's book where: There is no God, nowhere, not under the dog; not in the universe, not in the galaxy; only in verse)

― Mr Spade, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

See what all the fuss is about. "I wasn't a slave. I was a willing participant." "His name was Frank. Just Frank. His last name really doesn't matter. It was Smith or Jones or Gallagher or... Hell. Just pick one. They're really all the same. I didn't know that much about him." "Maybe Frank classified me as a whore." "I stopped talking, begging, pleading. Plotting. I wasn't going to win him over. It was his way or no way. And I knew that. So it was his way." "I just wasn't that kind of tie me up, tie me down, beat me, switch me, hold me tight, love me forever' kind of girl. Frank was that kind of guy. Which made me that kind of girl." "And when it was over, we fell away from each other gasping for air." ".he brought the money-in fifties and hundreds-to me, delivering it in a bank bag. Delivering it to me with a big smile on his face, as if he were happy to deliver it, glad he could accommodate me. Who was the real slave here?" Breaking the Girl-a story of white hot sex and submission.

― AaronHz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Truman Don't Kill Capote!

Bahahahahahahahahahahaha

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Behind the Sun by Isaac Asimov

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"Mommy, Where's Daddy" by Anna Freud

― Rock Hardy (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 6 October 2004 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.chuckwagner.com/images/yertlebychuck.jpg

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Emit Remmus by Dan Brown: A cryptic message, thought to prophesize the precise time of Christ's second coming, appears on the wall of a historical European cathedral. The protagonist, a heroic American sociologist, goes on a mysterious spiritual journey to singlehandedly decipher the code using his seemingly endless supply of trivial knowledge and half-assed wisdom.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 6 October 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

'Breaking the Girl' by the Marquis De Sade.

― Wooden (Wooden), Thursday, 7 October 2004 00:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Emit Remmus by Dan Brown: A cryptic message, thought to prophesize the precise time of Christ's second coming, appears on the wall of a historical European cathedral. The protagonist, a heroic American sociologist, goes on a mysterious spiritual journey to singlehandedly decipher the code using his seemingly endless supply of trivial knowledge and half-assed wisdom.
-- Curt1sss (curtis.stephen...), October 6th, 2004.

has anyone here actually READ the da vinci code? it's not the "celestine prophecy", it's a cheesy conspiracy thriller.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 7 October 2004 00:06 (twenty-one years ago)

(i'm just surprised at that book becoming a pheomenon. it's hardly different than any other catholic-church-and/or-secret-society-hiding-a secret thriller.)

ok, back to the chili peppers. ummm....

"Mothers Milk" by The Gerber Baby

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 7 October 2004 00:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Sexy Mexican Maid, by Margaret Atwood. The Canadian author's first confessional erotic memoir. Don't forget the Kleenex when you read this steamy tome!

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 7 October 2004 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I've read it, latebloomer. But please be reminded that Emit Remmus and The Da Vinci Code are not the same bestselling novel!

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 7 October 2004 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"Out in L.A." by George Michael

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 7 October 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Savior - The account of how a leader of a modern 21st century democracy rescues a 2nd world country from the custody of a bearded dictator. As the book proceeds, we discover how the world is saved by this quick thinking, charismatic, well spoken hero. (Science fiction)

― Philip Reynolds (taec), Thursday, 7 October 2004 08:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Under The Bridge by Stephen King - When a writer returns to the sleepy Maine town where he grew up, he must confront the demons - both metaphorical and literal - that reside under a bridge on the outskirts of town. 900pp.

Mellowship Slinky In B Major by Philip K Dick. Perhaps the most confusing of his works, this novel describes life on board the Mellowship Slinky as it attempts to discover the secrets of the Universal Mellow sometime in the 22nd century.

― Nick Barlow, Thursday, 7 October 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha ha, I like the PKD one!

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 7 October 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

nick i'd like to commend you for your truly stellar threadstarting form as of late.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 7 October 2004 16:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, thanks! Mark it up to my terrible and boring job!

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 7 October 2004 16:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Give It Away! by Lydia Davis - Davis' razor wit is at its most bewitched and bewitching....in this astonishing new collection. [Davis] dispenses not only with the character, plot and logical sense, but with the printed word altogether. No words. No pages. No cover. Just Lydia Davis having intercourse with "meth addicts" on the NW corner of Houston and 2nd Ave, narrating the experience in the "addict's" ear as it's happening. Sublime, devastating and nearly perfect, Lydia Davis has produces not only one of the year's best collections, but a high-watt halogen bulb for the dank cellar of the new millenium.

― mark d, Thursday, 7 October 2004 23:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Road Trippin, by Jack Keroac

― Snakey, Friday, 8 October 2004 01:33 (twenty-one years ago)

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