I had spilled the contents of my wallet by a locked door....

*blank look*

very pretty blonde girl: "i know where it is."

"thanks."

*follow her to back of store where there, indeed, is ginger beer*

vpbg: "wow, so you like ginger beer, huh?"

"never had it. my girlfriend is sick and she requested it."

*looooooooooooooooooooooong pause*

vpbg: "that's very nice of you."

*walks away*

*dirty look*

LOL WTF ?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!
!^*&@^*(&^@*#&^!@#*($&^@#*(&^#
!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
!*&^*&@^)#@^)(!^!)@(*#^)!@(*^#

"way to set a good example for your kids, dude! way to teach them to wait in line!"

*man holds $20 out of his window, implying that he's gonna pay for my toll*

*flip him the bird*

*man RIPS UP THE $20 AND THROWS IT OUT THE WINDOW!!!*

*we finish crossing street and car turns, stops, rolls down window*

driver yells in our direction: "HAVE SOME MOTHERFUCKING COURTESY, ASSHOLE!" speeds off.

nyc is great.

(i think.)

Has there ever been a T/S Jersey vs. NYC thread?

Woman: Oh my god! Someone just shot at me!

Blind Detective: CALM DOWN! CALM DOWN! I-I-I'M A DETECTIVE! TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!

They went thru it 5-6 times before I had to leave for school and each time he kept sounding angry.

ILX is not your blog.

-- n/a (nu...) (webmail), October 5th, 2004 5:39 PM. (Nick A.) (later) (link)

you know, if something happens in your life, it still happens even if you don't post it to ilx!

(i think.)

-- amateur!!!st

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it does seem out of character

anyway, my last post stands

Random Filling His Car With Gas Man: What's up with the smell, man?
Me: I don't know. It smells like sewage.
Gas Man: It smells like SHIT.
Me: (almost entirely out of earshot) What do you think sewage is, dildy?
Gas Man: DON'T PATRONIZE ME!

*waiting in line next to a Karen Allen lookalike in a convenience store*

convenience store clerk, looking at my stuff and Karen Allen's stuff on the counter: "are you two together?"

karen allen, smiling mischeviously: "no, not yet."

*dumbfounded and embarrassed*

clerk: "he is cute."

karen allen: "i know."

*nervous smile, leave store very quickly*

-------------
*my gf and i standing on a crowded subway car yesterday. a hasidic jewish family -- mother, son (maybe 10) and daughter (maybe 8) -- sit below us. hasidic jewish son notices an elderly chinese woman sitting near them*

hjs, pulling his eyes to make them slanted: "cho shi ow doooh" [mock chinese gibberish]

*his mother and sister laugh hard*

my gf: "learn some manners, people. i'm jewish, and you make ME want to be anti-semitic."

*mother tries to give us dirty look, fails. they get off the train at the next stop.*

Sorority Girl "You know how Meggs hates dirty stuff?"

Her Boyfriend "Yup, dude, she freaks out!"

Sorority Girl "Omigod, the funniest thing happened. I put dirt on her eggs to be, like, funny."

Her Boyfriend "No, that's terrible. You're terrible."

Sorority Girl: "Omigod, I know. I like, actually, felt kind of bad. And I thought she'd see it, but she didn't. She was like -- she took a bite and ate the dirt."

Her Boyfriend "Omigod that's the funniest thing I ever heard. You're bad. Serious bad. Better keep you on my good side."

Sorority Girl "That's right. I'll put dirt in your eggs."

Her Boyfriend "Or somewhere worse."

*They Laugh Together*

*I stop elevator on next floor and walk down the stairs*

I ALMOST PISSED, IT WAS SO RANDOM

Also, my friends and I have a section on our board for Grad School TAs to gripe about their students. This gem comes from there:
"My friend Eric was supervising lab and (about measuring the velocity of stuff) asked: "How would you go about measuring the velocity of a paramecium?" The answer was supposed to be something like having a computer to a screen capture through a microscope or something. Someone answered "well first we must capture the fish." lol FISH? FISH!!!! WTF!? Come on! "

epic thread imho