What is the most mediocre film of all time?

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My friends and I once spent a happy day trying to figure this out, and eventually decided on Air America - which is on at the moment, reminding me of this.

What do you think the most meh film is?

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

American Beauty

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

The Mighty Quinn

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Ghostbusters II

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Boo!

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree with you so far, Jeremy.

The Burbs

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

ALL of the Back To The Future films!

― adam. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sad that I started this thread now. Ghostbuster2? Back to the Future? THe Burbs? These films are all great.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Smoke Signals

― Jimmy Mod, Los Sexx Yanqui (ModJ), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Any of Woody Allen's 'serious' movies.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

VELVET GOLDMINE!

― andy, Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

jerry maguire

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

no no almost famous!!! almost famous!!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:02 (twenty-one years ago)

human traffic.

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll go with "Almost Famous" as well... It is the very definition of mediocre. Not horrible, not very good, but bland and ham-fisted.

But "Backdraft" is pretty goddamn...

― andy, Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Say Anything is far more mediocre than Almost Famous

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm with slocki. In fact, I'm having a button made that says that.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

anything George Lucas did after THX-1138. And Almost Famous. And Spanking the Monkey. And maybe Lost in Translation, too.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I liked Almost Famous, ham-fisted or not.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Almost Famous is actively bad, so that's not for me.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

it's too hokey.

― hstencil (hstencil), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

the Kevin Kline-Ashley Judd musical

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Almost Famous and Velvet Goldmine are excellent calls.

But I'm going for Absolute Beginners

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, it's like pornography for me. I know it's hokey as hell, but it's weirdly comforting. I have the same reaction towards it that many people had to Seabiscuit a summer ago.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Ohh No! Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves!

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's interesting that we pick Velvet Goldmine & Almost Famous.... It's because it's such a rich subject for film, but was handled so carelessly.

Cameron Crowes quote: "If you have a problem with this film, then you have a problem with my life..." Okay, granted. But "Fast Times" didn't BLOW.

― andy, Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

i guess i have a problem with his life!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:13 (twenty-one years ago)

or rather his shitty sentimentalized love letter to it!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Whatever it was, it was directed by Joel Schumacher

― Chris Marx, Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:39 (twenty-one years ago)

whatever that tom hanks gangster film was that came out last year.

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

the graduate

― caitlin hell (caitxa), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:53 (twenty-one years ago)

none of these films are mediocre! (except american beauty)

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Phone Booth.

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:56 (twenty-one years ago)

the good girl

― Cynthia Nixon Now More Than Ever (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:56 (twenty-one years ago)

gone with the wind

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Wednesday, 13 October 2004 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"Any of Woody Allen's 'serious' movies. "

Um, have you ever seen Crimes and Misdemeanors? Or Sweet and Lowdown?

My pick would be "When Harry Met Sally"

― Hurting (Hurting), Thursday, 14 October 2004 00:11 (twenty-one years ago)

The Girl Next Door?

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Thursday, 14 October 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

WORKING GIRL

― g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

almost famous is just plain bad

― g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i got a free ticket to "suddenly 30" a couple of weeks ago. 2 hours that i'll never get back.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

TS: Ishtar vs. Leonard Part 6

― joseph pot (STINKOR™), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Leonard Part 6 is a surrealist masterpiece. I'm assuming Suddenly 30 is the same as 13 going on 30, in which case you're crazy. That was a good film - no body-swap comedy could ever be mediocre.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:32 (twenty-one years ago)

meh it just could never live up to the genius of freaky friday in my mind i guess

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"Any of Woody Allen's 'serious' movies. "

Um, have you ever seen Crimes and Misdemeanors? Or Sweet and Lowdown?

Yes on the former. I found it talky, dull, and empty. It was like the Conor Oberst of films. Lotta technically decent mucking about, no real substance. Thus, the resounding 'meh.'

― Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:40 (twenty-one years ago)

whatever that tom hanks gangster film was that came out last year.

-- kyle (akmonda...), October 13th, 2004 5:40 PM. (later)

road to perdition, and right you are. also, notably, by sam mendes.

oh brother, where art thou?
collateral
pi
ghost world

― Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:43 (twenty-one years ago)

No, it's no Freaky Friday (original, anyway - haven't got around to watching the Lindsay Lohan remake yet), but I like body swap comedies more than most, I guess. The scene at the party where averybody dances to Thriller is brilliant.

What? Only Collateral is mediocre of that lot, and Road to Perdition was above average, though not good.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I think we'll have to acknowledge pretty disparate movie taste, Kev.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I think so. Sorry.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:46 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost. i didn't find it to be anywhere near so bad it was good in the sense of corny humour, it was just dull. hence mediocrity bigtime

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:46 (twenty-one years ago)

none of these films are mediocre! (except american beauty)

American beauty is teh worst film of the millenium!

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 14 October 2004 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 44 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

The Colour Of Money
Heat

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 14 October 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

But when we say something is mediocre, we are also saying that we somewhat liked it, even if we are disappointed b/c, for instance, we went in with higher expectations. Sometimes I'll go see a film and know going in that it's going to be mediocre, but I'm in a mood for that - it's like being tired and wrapping yourself in a blanket - I'm still tired but now I'm warmer (there is no "This blanket *kicks ass!* and other praise though). And simply b/c something is 'acclaimed' doesn't mean it isn't mediocre, seriously (there are many listed here that have won or been nominated for awards).
xpost

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 14 October 2004 16:56 (twenty-one years ago)

US Marshals
The Runaway Bride
Captain Corelli's Mandolin
Never Been Kissed

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

a lot of these movies are like actively godawful though, like Captain Corelli's Mandolin which I had successfully forgotten that I had seen until now THANKS.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 14 October 2004 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha - I'm reminded of any film about "finding oneself" in Tuscany.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Thursday, 14 October 2004 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

You guys really don't understand the concept of mediocrity, do you? (Note: I full expect this slur to backfire into insults about my vast knowledge of mediocrity)

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 14 October 2004 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

For the last time:

Road to Perdition is the most mediocre film ever. It's not awful, it's not good, it's just really horribly average and unmemorable.

― Mad Mike, Thursday, 14 October 2004 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't actually think of a mediocre film. I first thought "A Month At The Lake" but then I realized that was just awful.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 14 October 2004 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

no, road to perdition sucks, it's not good enough to be mediocre. maybe i could be generous & say it strives for mediocrity

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 14 October 2004 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

There are probably a lot of mediocre costume dramas. I would say Vanity Fair but Jonathan Rhys-Meyers was pretty amusing.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 14 October 2004 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

The WHOLE NINE YARDS!

― jel -- (jel), Thursday, 14 October 2004 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

valmont is pretty mediocre

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 14 October 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

By the way, whoever nominated Working Girl pretty much nailed this thread.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

You've Got Mail

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Thursday, 14 October 2004 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha, that's Sleepless in Seattle's Runaway Bride. Therefore meh. You win.

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 18:09 (twenty-one years ago)

And it's a remake, which for some reason I feel adds to it's mediocrity. I'm still sticking with Air America, I think.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 14 October 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

But a meh remake of an utterly lovely film. So double meh. It doesn't have Robert Downey Jr in it, which must surely redeem Air America a bit (I haven't seen it)

― ailsa (ailsa), Thursday, 14 October 2004 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sticking with Heat.
Huge hype, stellar cast, Al'n'Bobby together on screen for the first time ever, etc. and it's a run-of-the-mill cops'n'robbers film that takes itself way too seriously. You get to the end of it and think "hmm... not bad, I suppose, fancy a drink?"
5/10

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 14 October 2004 18:43 (twenty-one years ago)

heat is fucking amazing!!!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 14 October 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

So everyone says but I don't get it. What separates it from the pack?

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 14 October 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Escape from Collingwood. It had so much potential, but it just fell flat.

― chrisco (chrisco), Thursday, 14 October 2004 20:20 (twenty-one years ago)

OTM, I'd totally forgotten about that film.

― Wooden (Wooden), Thursday, 14 October 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm going to say this, duck and run....

....Wild Strawberries *runs*

(which is not to say I don't love other Bergman films but this film is tor-ture)

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 14 October 2004 20:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Bad Santa.

― David Beckhouse (David Beckhouse), Thursday, 14 October 2004 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

oh no way no way

― g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 14 October 2004 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"Most mediocre" is a contradiction in terms - like a middling superlative. I suppose that one might imagine a film that achieves the exact statistical mean in all possible categories (laughs per minute, closeted gay cast members, director's salary, number of fiery orange explosions or automobiles careening through piles of cardboard boxes, etc.) to meet the criteria, but that would be hard to verify.

― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 14 October 2004 23:39 (twenty-one years ago)

mona lisa smile, surely? isn't that the remake of a mediocre movie, but with all chicks? a movie so mediocre just in concept that i didn't even have to watch it to hate it.

if you've actually sat down and watched the movies you describe, then they can't really have been mediocre. bad movies, you can watch and laugh at (gothika). good movies you can watch. mediocre movies, you just turn over or leave.

really mediocre movies are the ones you always want to watch, but when they are on, or you see them down at the store, there's always something better there.

red dragon also falls into this category- i have nothing against it as such, but when it's on i suddenly remember all the study/diy/self-mutilation i have to do right then instead.

it's like my brain knows better than i do what i should be watching.....

― darraghm.ac, Thursday, 14 October 2004 23:42 (twenty-one years ago)

i will agree with almost famous

soooooo mediocre

― todd swiss (eliti), Friday, 15 October 2004 00:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i know i'm in the prescence of film mediocrity when i'm overwhelmed with embarrassment for the primary creators. so, "almost famous" is an extremely strong candidate as i thought crowe was an alright mainstream writer/director up to that point who at least seemed genuine. well all those perceptions went out the window with that pathetic ode to the most souless vessels creating music, worshipping music, and chronicling music. now that i've written that i realize that "almost famous" may have actually had its own genuiness in its celebration of the worst in the music industry. huh. another candidate is "no such thing", the latest, (i think, ive kinda stopped paying attention), by the great art-film intellectual hal hartley. i was completely bored with this movie, which made me very sad, kinda like when i first heard "mule variations". not a terrible creation, just far short of the high mark previously set.

― j.m. lockery (j.m. lockery), Friday, 15 October 2004 00:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Gangs of New York
the collected works of M. Night Shamalyan
almost any movie marketed for/toward the middle-aged upper-middle class (cf. The Clearing, Calendar Girls, etc.)

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Friday, 15 October 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

the collected works of M. Night Shamalyan OTM, milo.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 15 October 2004 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I cannot understand in what universe something like Pi is "mediocre". Its a rough 16mm b&w film with an intense soundtrack, interesting premise and some really whacked out scenes.

Maybe not everyones cuppa but SO NOT MEDIOCRE FFS.

I think film school/film reviewing must ruin peoples sense of proportion or something.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, I thought Almost Famous was sweet, funny and even moving in a few places. Not out there brilliant, but simple and kinda cute in its way. You people are souless cunts!

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:40 (twenty-one years ago)

(I mean, "Singles" was SHITE if you wanna bag Crowe. But I never got the AF hate).

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I think film school/film reviewing must ruin peoples sense of proportion or something.

Yup!

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:42 (twenty-one years ago)

xxpost

sweet, funny, simple and cute.

mediocre!

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:42 (twenty-one years ago)

(also, Trayce, I don't mean that 'yup!' as glibly as it sounds -- it's just that I recognize I'm hypercritical of certain films, and Pi is one of them.)

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 15 October 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

darragh: well, thats a fair call if thats your view of mediocre. Cant really argue that one :)

Jer: heh, I thought you might agree your perspective had been skewed ;) Dude how can you not like Pi, I adore that film. But I'm a bit OCD about it I guess.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 03:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't hate almost famous, i just think it's... mediocre!!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:00 (twenty-one years ago)

although my post above kinda makes it look like i do (i think i was in a bad mood when i wrote that)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:00 (twenty-one years ago)

but isn't mediocrity the true enemy- at least really bad movies can entertain, and teach us how not to do it.

mediocre movies, well they just waste our time really.

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Well yeah thats certainly how I interpreted the word. But surely if it has any entertainment at all, it isnt mediocre? I dunno.

To me, mediocre is some kind of watery lame romcom movie, something like the Princess Diaries, or Pretty Woman.

Maybe answering a question like this merely shows peoples various biases (biasii?).

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:24 (twenty-one years ago)

biu!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 15 October 2004 04:36 (twenty-one years ago)

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 15 October 2004 05:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Gangs Of New York

One good Scorsese monologue - but what actually happens in the rest? Open the dictionary at 'meh' and there's the poster for this film.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Friday, 15 October 2004 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't hate almost famous, i just think it's... mediocre!!
-- s1ocki (slytus...), October 15th, 2004.

second that.

― j.m. lockery (j.m. lockery), Friday, 15 October 2004 20:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Calender Girls... YES! All the way through you just think "this is really, really - kinda average".

― Mad Mike, Friday, 15 October 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Panic Room. That might be an even better example than Road to Perdition.

― Mad Mike, Friday, 15 October 2004 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

no, panic room has flashy visuals anf direction, surely it must be a good movie?

surely?

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Saturday, 16 October 2004 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

vroom vroom vroom - melvin van peebles

― papa november (papa november), Saturday, 16 October 2004 22:33 (twenty-one years ago)

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