I AM a good person

Not yet.

I AM a devious little monkey
I AM a devious little monkey
I AM a devious little monkey
I AM a devious little monkey
I AM a devious little monkey
I AM a devious little monkey
I AM a devious little monkey

It works!!!

I have a BIG arse
I have a BIG arse
I have a BIG arse
I have a BIG arse

Shit, you're right, it does work.

Big arses are the best. The only kind of arse worth admiring is a big one. What a fucking terrific contribution I've made to this thread. Ah, well.

So condemn and vilify me. I suspect I need it.

EVERY DAY IN EVERY WAY I AM BECOMING A BETTER AND BETTER LIEUTENANT JUNIOR GRADE

I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.
I AM going to have a wank before I fall asleep tonight.

Please, let us know how that one turns out.

Oops, got a bit carried away.

I usually don't have to convince myself like that.

it's good to have goals

Well you certainly wanked all over this thread, guess that's half the battle right there.

yes I said yes I will Yes.

Positive affirmations make me think of that old SNL sketch... s.t. Smiley?

I'm good enough
I'm strong enough
And damn it, people like me

(I'm totally botching that up, I'm sure - so much for affirmations! ha ha)

strong=smart, but close enough.

I don't do affirmations, but I do make an effort to say nice things about myself internally, rather than the automatic negative monologue. ;-)

I'm so tired today. I wanna nap in my cube.

Hey I'm reading Ulysses right now...sorta

Oh Hi Mandee! Didn't see you there...
x-post

When come back bring chunks.

ha, this reminds me of a therapist I had. She was trying to encourage me to think of myself as strong (this was to counter the negative effects of depression, panic attacks, low self-esteem and so on). She knew one of my interests (and past careers) was comic books, so she said I should think of myself as being as strong and confident as the star of my favourite comic. Sadly this was Krazy Kat, so it didn't work terribly well.

She clearly doesn't understand the diversity of comics. Just imagine if your favorite comic was Milk & Cheese! You might get arrested!

Be Ignatz instead!

Throwing bricks at people would not have been what she was after, I think.

I should admit that I gave it a try with my second favourite comic ever, Popeye, but I've never really liked spinach, and anyway I just felt stupid.

Maybe you felt stupid because Popeye isn't incredibly bright?

I think I'd have felt exactly as stupid if I'd tried to pretend to be Reed Richards.

How does one wank successfully?

Well...if you came, you did it right.

Haven't you figured it out yet?

I don't think girls can wank. I mean, I don't think you use that word when we do that.

Sure you do. Why not?

You're right. Why not?
And I don't think I'm doing it right.

Discussing masurbation with a fifteen year-old girl on the internet is so unwholesome.

Yeah. I know.

I was just thinking the same thing.

Ok...

Some female ILXor to thread because I'm not going to attempt to explain to Nowell how exactly to "do it right".

If you know...well, why not?

The only prescription is more cowbell.

Christopher Walken!

hrmf.
this should tell you all you need to know:
http://www.the-clitoris.com/

Yeah, I know about that...But...uh...

I don't literally mean the site, of course.

specifically:
http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_masturb.htm

Dude, I am not going on there. I don't think I can anyway.

ahem. It's not a porn site FTR. It's a sex ed site for women.
How Do Women and Girls Masturbate?
Women and girls masturbate in an endless list of ways. They may massage their clitoris with hands and fingers or rub their vulva up against pillows, bed cloths, stuffed animals, and furniture. Some use water spray, vibrators, and dildos to stimulate their vulva or vagina. The vagina appears to play a limited role in the masturbation practices of women, but vaginal insertion is by no means rare or unusual. Some women employ nipple and/or anal stimulation in addition to clitoral and vaginal stimulation. Fantasy often plays a major role in a woman's masturbation activities. The brain is the largest and most important sexual organ and as a result physical stimulation alone is frequently not sufficient to trigger orgasm.

I'd love ta stay, but I can't.

Are you for real? I'm not convinced...

Mmh, yes,

Then I'd taken the kiss of seedcake back from his mouth
Going deep South, go down, mmh, yes,
Took six big wheels and rolled our bodies
Off of Howth Head and into the flesh, mmh, yes,

He said I was a flower of the mountain, yes,
But now I've powers o'er a woman's body, yes.

Stepping out of the page into the sensual world.
Stepping out...

To where the water and the earth caress
And the down of a peach says mmh, yes,
Do I look for those millionaires
Like a Machiavellian girl would
When I could wear a sunset? mmh, yes,

And how we'd wished to live in the sensual world
You don't need words--just one kiss, then another.

Stepping out of the page into the sensual world
Stepping out, off the page, into the sensual world.

And then our arrows of desire rewrite The Speech, mmh, yes,
And then he whispered would I, mmh, yes,
Be safe, mmh, yes, from mountain flowers?
And at first with the charm around him, mmh, yes,
He loosened it so if it slipped between my breasts
He'd rescue it, mmh, yes,
And his spark took life in my hand and, mmh, yes,
I said, mmh, yes,
But not yet, mmh, yes,
Mmh, yes

I failed, guys. I'm so useless.

Perhaps you need THIS website then:
http://www.jackinworld.com/

I'm not clicking that till I get home.

Once again, not a porn site but a sex ed site. It's the equivalent of the-clitoris.com one for men.

best thread ever

I'm back. Now, everybody's all excited!

but not anymore

I was kidding, dumbass.

I'm sorry. You're not a dumbass.

I am going to get laid again before my birthday!
I am going to get laid again before my birthday!
I am going to get laid again before my birthday!
I am going to get laid again before my birthday!
I am going to get laid again before my birthday!
I am going to get laid again before my birthday!
I am going to get laid again before my birthday!
I am going to get laid again before my birthday!

(sigh)

sometimes we all need a good thread about wanking affirmations

is that affirmations that wank, of actual affirmations of wanking as a process.

both

well, i half agree so.

i think you're hedging...

i suspect that you are using so type of gay slang, so i won't answer that.

*some type. damned no edit.

ok, I haven't totally been fallowing what's going on in here, but if there is for real a 15-year-old girl who doesn't know how to masturbate I have to save her the grief and say: please start reading some good fiction and you'll definetely get the hand of it (no pun intended)... Gives girls a good foundation to get off on.

Damn no edit, indeed! Hang, obv.

i guess those are affirmations, in a way.