things to do with a big stack of hundred dollar bills

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I recently moved, and my old bank is across town, and I just didn't feel like fucking with any of that today, so I just cashed my paycheck. I get paid monthly, so it's a substantial amount of cash to have at once. Actually, it's enough to make a guy nervous, having so much cash. I feel like a drug dealer. But it is fun to play with.

1) kinda roll it up and put it in a highball glass. weirdly classy.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

2) Flash it around in the street. For some reason people frown on this.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

3) Use as a prop in your hip-hop video.

― briania (briania), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

3) spend 30 of them on cocaine, and then use one to snort it all in one go,

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

$) Paperweight

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)

6) Give it to me.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

7) no.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

3) spend 30 of them on cocaine, and then use one to snort it all in one go

8) Get that whole Len Bias vibe going.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

9. Spread it all out on your bed and roll around in it. (We did this one year at CMJ, the radio station staff had to get a big wad of cash together to pay for the hotel or parking or something but first we spread it out on the bed and the station manager rolled around in it).

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I will do this immediately and report back.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Burn it.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Meh. Felt too much like rolling around in my rent. Besides, it's not enough hundreds for proper rolling. If I had it in crumpled one dollar bills, I could sleep in it.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Burn it.

I will. Not literally, but still.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:40 (twenty-one years ago)

10. Buy some gold fronts.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

11. Gold fangs.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

12. Diamond fangs.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

13. Solid gold, diamond studded fangs.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

14. Bite people.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't spend much of it. That's a guideline I should have made clearer. I can only do things with the paper itself.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, fangs are NOT COOL.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

15. Record the sound it makes when you ruffle through it

16. Make beats with it

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

17. Build a little house, move in, forego spending it on rent, live like the ancient kings of yore.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

18. Get naked, stick the bills all over your body with masking tape, then walk up and down your road looking really cool.

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

10. Make origami animals out of them.

20. Leave these as tips for hot waitresses.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

19. Make origami animals out of them.

20. Leave these as tips for hot waitresses.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

18. Get naked, stick the bills all over your body with masking tape, then walk up and down your road looking really cool.

21) ...after dark.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

22) Get shot.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Rolling in it is U&K. I sold a car once to a preacher, who paid me in cash — $3800. I spread it on the living room floor and rolled in it like a pig in mud. It is a delicious feeling.

― William Crump (Rock Hardy), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I should break all these bills and then roll in it. I mean, it's enough to stuff a wallet, but not to cover a floor.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

23) Play snap

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 15 October 2004 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

24. Mark them with your scent, sit on them, and snarl at anyone who comes close.

25. Occasionally cackle "Mine, all mine!"

― Wooden (Wooden), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

26) Go to your bank and say in a fake French accent, "I would lak a selection of your fahnest tens and twenties."

― William Crump (Rock Hardy), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

It's imperative to imagine that you're Scrooge McDuck while rolling in it.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

27)fuck all

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:02 (twenty-one years ago)

28. buy a few ounces of kind bud and a 3 foot bong. spend the rest on snacks.

― Helios Creed (orion), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:02 (twenty-one years ago)

27)fuck all

I am familiar with this phrase, but in this context it sounds rather abstract. Do you mean I should.. fuck... everything? Trees, grass, sidewalks, men... everything?

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:04 (twenty-one years ago)

And what does that have to do with hundred dollar bills anyway?

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

29. Make paper money airplanes

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I think he means you should do fuck all; ie, nothing. I'm not sure why he thinks this though.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

30) Photocopy the bills and cut them out, arrange into stacks with a real hundred on the top of each one.

31) Place stacks in briefcase, pretend you're about to go deliver a ransom to kidnappers or buy plutonium.

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

32. Pretend you have robbed a bank and hole up in your apartment, occasionally peering suspiciously out windows and yelling 'YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!'

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

33) Invite Sarah McLusky and n/a over for a nice house-warming dinner.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Will you use the $100 bills as garnish or something?

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

34. Buy Barbie and Ken dolls and dress Barbie (or Ken, your choice) up like a hooker and then have Ken come on her back and crawl out through a window, but leave her a fat stack of cash anyway.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

35. Then have Skipper come in and steal it.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

36) Easter egg hunt! 6 months early.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

33) Invite Sarah McLusky and n/a over for a nice house-warming dinner.

Of course. Your cheekiness will pay off, I promise. :)

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't think of anything that doesn't make you sound or look like a stark raving lunatic.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't yet know if that's good or bad.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

37) Swap 'em for these magic beans...

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

38. Take them back to the bank and swap them for $1 bills and then hit the strip club.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Will you use the $100 bills as garnish or something?
(shush! I was going to steal some of the B.I.L.L.S. - sorry for implying Kenan can't spell - ha ha)

But yeah, I really want to come see the new place.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

39. Peel them off, one by one, and drop them out of your window. The first one will land gently on the sidewalk and be peered at by an elderly gentleman walking his dog, who will look around suspiciously before picking it up and walking off. By the fifth, there'll be a large crowd. By the twentieth, a riot.

― Alba (Alba), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

40. Fold it over and photocopy half of one. Then write a special message on the other half (on the paper). Then fold the paper and hide it in stores, on the street, etc. Everyone will be reading your message.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Sarah.. ok. We really want company, and we'll have a proper thing soon. We were waiting for a desk, really. The old desk was too heavy to move up stairs. Right now the computer is on the dining room table.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I recently had over a thousand dollars in cash on me. One night, I laid out four one-hundred dollars on my desk, one next to the other, and pondered the fact that it takes fifty hours a week for me to earn these four pieces of paper. How if I lost one of these paper bills, I'd have to completely reorganize my finances.

So I went to Tunica and sat down at the Carribbean Stud table for eight hours. I'm great at reorganizing!

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I love that post. It started as a downer, then gained sanity.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

41) put it in your butt.

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

42. DEEP FRY IT MMMMMMM.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Put a tin can / In your butt / Put a little tiny man / In your butt...

― Smokin' funk by the boxes (kenan), Friday, 15 October 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

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