A very good friend of mine just died. Can you console me?

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It was a heart attack last night. I just found out. I was supposed to see him last week and didn't, now I know why he didn't return my email. I feel awful.

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh I'm so sorry to hear it. One of my best friends is in a coma, so I understand the pain. I won't offer the usual platitudes about being in a better place, etc., but I will say that my thoughts are with you and I send much love. xx

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:31 (twenty-one years ago)

That's awful, Orbit. My condolences. I have had a lot of death around me recently and I find that, in my own shy way, I don't grieve well with others so I try to be helpful to those who do.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

my best friend died in a car accident while we were in high school, and an ex-gf of mine died the same way shortly after we broke up. Not a day goes by I don't think about her, at least. I send you hugs.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks. I feel like I should have *been* there somehow. Every thought that I am having right now just feels stupid. I'm thinking "Is this why I woke up in the middle of the night?" Oh hell.

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:34 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not stupid, it's grieving. There's not a thing wrong with that.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I think that emotions, almost like a drug, are something that you have no choice but to go with but that, also like a drug, you shouldn't overthink them nor give them too much credence.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Is drinking scotch a good or bad idea? I can't decide.

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

It's all right.

I'm sorry to hear this, and hope you're doing OK.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 21 October 2004 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, have a belt or two, there's no harm. Think of the times you DID hang out, not that you failed him somehow.. we never know when these things'll happen.

― andy, Thursday, 21 October 2004 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

i just found out who this was. is it meant to be common knowledge yet?

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Thursday, 21 October 2004 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I am sorry to hear this.
Maybe add some water to your scotch.
Think of when you first met him and all the fun things

― kephm (kephm), Thursday, 21 October 2004 23:40 (twenty-one years ago)

My condolences. Raise a toast to his life and memory.

― William Crump (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 21 October 2004 23:45 (twenty-one years ago)

geez orbit, thats awful. sorry to hear about it.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 21 October 2004 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

My sincere condolences, Orbit. Think about the good times you had with him.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 21 October 2004 23:48 (twenty-one years ago)

NO it is not to be released until Monday, esoj
btw how the hell did you find out??!!

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 21 October 2004 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry. I'm a bit of a spaz. Thank you everyone. I'm reeling. I literally was walking in circles in my apt like a confused animal.
This sucks. I'm not being very eloquent, but you all are and I appreciate it.

― Orbit (Orbit), Thursday, 21 October 2004 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

He's the one that gave me the name "Little Miss Orbit"
*sob*
DAMMIT

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 22 October 2004 00:02 (twenty-one years ago)

My condolences. I haven't had to deal with death in a long time, so I can't imagine how you feel.

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Friday, 22 October 2004 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

it was posted on another board Orbit. i won't say anything though.

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Friday, 22 October 2004 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

feh on the person who posted that! the family doesn't want the funeral to be a local zoo, i'm sure. oh well.

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 22 October 2004 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

ok, new stage.
deer-in-the-headlights-drinking

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 22 October 2004 01:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Orbit, my condolences.

I saw the news on a listserv tonight -- the impact of his work was incalculable and he will be sorely missed. RIP.

― Jeff Wright (JeffW1858), Friday, 22 October 2004 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry your friend died.

― isadora (isadora), Friday, 22 October 2004 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

me too, isadora.
and thanks Jeff, I guess the cat must be out of the bag if it's being posted all over the damn place. Are you statistics Jeff from Cleveland? I think I made you dinner once.

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 22 October 2004 01:46 (twenty-one years ago)

my sincere condolences, orbit. if i knew what to say, i would.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 22 October 2004 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost

Yes and yes you did, thanks. (And gave me a guitar lesson.)

FWIW at this point, the 'please hold your accolades until the first of the week' follow-up messages are now showing up on the listservs.

― Jeff Wright (JeffW1858), Friday, 22 October 2004 02:01 (twenty-one years ago)

you ilx crew are pretty good detectives.

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 22 October 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Orbit, I am sending some sympathetic consolation your way. You've got all of us to lean on, hon.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 22 October 2004 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

(xpost: I'm electing to not find out who passed on until you're ready to divulge.)

Oh, and do whatever it is that makes you feel good right now, short of doing things that are really, really stupid. And getting drunk isn't really, really stupid so long as you don't drive afterward, so hey, as long as you're stuck in, feel free.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 22 October 2004 02:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks Dee!
(yes, i'm at home w. my scotch and water)

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 22 October 2004 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Dee, if you log onto AIM I'll talk to you.

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 22 October 2004 02:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Good, good. And don't worry about not being there. I'm sure that had you been there, your friend would've tried to hang on, thus prolonging the inevitable. Just try to be there for as many of the rememberance and funeral/burial events as you can be. Were you close to the family? If so, they might appreciate your help during these first few trying weeks, and in return, you might find yourself able to lean on them, too.

Lots of hugs....

(I'll log on now.)

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 22 October 2004 02:29 (twenty-one years ago)

the news is on the velvet rope board, so i'm sure it'll be widespread by tomorrow. anyway, my condolences.

― paranoia is the hipster's disease (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 22 October 2004 03:30 (twenty-one years ago)

i wish lisa didn't post that

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 22 October 2004 03:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't know what it's like and perhaps can't say much. but hopeful, peaceful wishes to you nonetheless.

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Friday, 22 October 2004 04:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Orbit, I'll add my condolences, too. It was this time eight years ago that my best friend died; though it wasn't sudden, I know a little about what you're going through. Do whatever you need to do that helps.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Friday, 22 October 2004 04:59 (twenty-one years ago)

You have my best wishes too, Orbit. I hope you'll cope.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 22 October 2004 07:01 (twenty-one years ago)

What Tuomas said. I've had cause to wonder recently how I'd feel if I lost a really good friend - I've been lucky enough to get to 45 without experiencing this - and it's very hard to imagine.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 22 October 2004 10:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh my god. I just got an email from a mutual friend about this.

I'm really sorry. I'm kind of in shock.

Oh my god, I'm just so sorry. That sounds really pitiful. My heartfelt condolences. I know you were close, and he really was a gem of a human being.

― Kissing Time At The Pleasure Unit (kate), Friday, 22 October 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I am very sorry for your loss. xx

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 22 October 2004 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm really sorry too. XXXXX

― Cathy (Cathy), Friday, 22 October 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

You're in my thoughts. And I mean that.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Friday, 22 October 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

My roommate's mother died last night of a heart attack.

This has been a very odd month..

And I'm sorry.

― Adam Bruneau (oliver8bit), Friday, 22 October 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Phoebe sent an official message out, so that part is ok now. Thank you all for your condolences. I feel a bit embarrassed about my public freaked-out-dom yesterday in the light of morning. There is a hole in my life. a really big hole. I know Greg would say "Lose yourself in your work" like he always did when I was upset, but I'm still in my pajamas, and the work is just sitting there. I just can't. Dammit.

Anyway, before I start rambling again I want to sincerely thank you all for your support, it is/was really appreciated.

Chelsea

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 22 October 2004 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm really sorry to hear about this. Best wishes to you and everyone who knew him.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 22 October 2004 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

just talked to chris, who's as surprised and shocked as anyone here (he's otherwise doing okay though). it's weird, he was just joking a few days ago that greg would be fine because he had nine lives and always managed to rebound. um, thanks for jinxing that.

― paranoia is the hipster's disease (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 22 October 2004 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Honey, my e-mail inbox is always open for you. You know, just in case you can't catch me on AIM. I will ALWAYS be there for you.

Yeah, hearing about the events that transpired really makes this seem kinda screwed up, like it wasn't supposed to happen. But then again, an uncle of mine who passed away almost a month ago wasn't supposed to pass away, even though he was nearing 80, so yeah.

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 23 October 2004 04:36 (twenty-one years ago)

(Um, that was meant for Orbit. But it can also apply to those here who've also been affected quite personally by this loss.)

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Saturday, 23 October 2004 04:36 (twenty-one years ago)

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