if existential panic and horniness could combine forces...

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sometimes in the grip of existential panic (like at 3am alone in bed) i wonder why i am such a lame-o when it comes to picking up girls and such. i mean, i'll be dead an awful long time, why am i wasting so much time trying to mitigate against rejection and other such bullshit? but whenever i am hanging out with some girl, i can't recapture that state of galvinizing panic and revert instead to shyness and etc....

how do i harness my existential panic when it's needed most?!?!?!?!

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:29 (twenty-one years ago)

this is a real question

though i think the answer is: alcohol

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Alcohol won't galvanize your panic, no sirree. But it might help you talk the talk. The thing is to carry that attitude of existentialism with you. Once in Reno, I gave a drunken speech to a married woman about the importance of acknowledging death and how your life will never really be full until you do, and I ended up making out with her in a car.

― delicious pudding (kenan), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:37 (twenty-one years ago)

(Oh, I'm just reminded... after an official complaint for a fellow ILXor, I'm changing my screen name to something a bit less inscrutable.)

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:38 (twenty-one years ago)

flawless victory!

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, that will do nicely, thanks.

― flawless victory (kenan), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:40 (twenty-one years ago)

actually, that was a bit of an xpost, but hey, i'm here to help.

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I know what you meant. And yes, for what it was, it was quite flawless. Something tells me, though, that Am is aiming a bit higher than drunken married womwn in Reno, in which case my advice may not help him.

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:47 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm not so sure. we should ask him, tho.

Am, are you aiming for a bit higher than drunken married women in Reno?

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i've never been to reno

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:52 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a hole.

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:53 (twenty-one years ago)

hmmm

― dr freud (amateurist), Sunday, 24 October 2004 05:56 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha

I knew something like that was coming.

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 24 October 2004 06:07 (twenty-one years ago)

altho the police force there has quite an amusing reality tv show about it

― Sir Kingfish Beavis D'Azzmonch (Kingfish), Sunday, 24 October 2004 06:08 (twenty-one years ago)

It's the biggest little shithole in the world.

http://www.cvfa.ca/InformationsF/cvfa/travers/07-09_12_03/1-reno.jpg

I rented a car when I was there and drove through town listening to Goodie Mob real loud, making the town even more surreal than it already was.

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 24 October 2004 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean, i'll be dead an awful long time, why am i wasting so much time trying to mitigate against rejection and other such bullshit? but whenever i am hanging out with some girl, i can't recapture that state of galvinizing panic and revert instead to shyness and etc....

I'll be dead an awful long time, too, but whenever I'm talking to my boss, I can't recepture that state of galvanizing panic that comes with realizing that my job contributes nothing to the world whatsoever, and I end up just doing what he says. Horrifying.

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 24 October 2004 06:16 (twenty-one years ago)

We are but a little gleam of time between two Eternities, so why then did I spend two hours standing in front of the copy machine today?

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 24 October 2004 06:19 (twenty-one years ago)

In-fucking-deed.

― Kenan (kenan), Sunday, 24 October 2004 06:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Trust the alcohol. I'm pretty sure I only ever met my wife because I was drunk and stoned the first two nights I saw her. I don't know if that's the story I'll tell the kids, but there it is.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Sunday, 24 October 2004 07:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Turn your existential panic into poetic nihilism. Man, chicks dig a cultured nihilist.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 24 October 2004 07:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I Heart them dang Huckabees

― Girolamo Savonarola, Sunday, 24 October 2004 07:37 (twenty-one years ago)

A friend of mine made up a joke: What's the difference between Reno and Sparks? Reno has an Olive Garden.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Sunday, 24 October 2004 07:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I've been thinking about the same question lately, that is, Amateurist's original question. You could check my "Approaching someone in a tricky situation" thread for inspiration, though in my case it had less to do with existential panic and more with a mere stroke of luck. And alcohol.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 24 October 2004 08:12 (twenty-one years ago)

the secret lies here:

just prior to a party this evening, I had a wank. Then I went to the party and not only chatted up an attractive girl, but managed to chat her up so well that the possibly more attractive guys who came over to try and move in on my position were completely ignored. After the party, she came up to me and asked for my number. Why did this work? I didn't give a muthafuck and I thank the wank for that.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 24 October 2004 08:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Were you actually inspired by "There's Something About Mary", or is this wank-before-you-meet-her a common technique?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 24 October 2004 08:16 (twenty-one years ago)

entirely coincidental. and serendipitous, as my wanks usually occur in the AM.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 24 October 2004 08:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"A Serendipitous Wank, Or, How Gear Got Away With Murder"

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 24 October 2004 08:23 (twenty-one years ago)

(Sorry, even I don't know what that means.)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, 24 October 2004 08:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Blurt out whatever comes to mind, even if it does turn into a rambling bit of nonsense. Better that than saying nothing = no hope of response.
Any woman who is interested will be wanting to listen to whatever the hell it is you come out with, and it will at least get the ball rolling.

Tis true, too, that once you can really not give a shit, the power is yours.
A pre-meeting wank could be the key!

― donna (donna), Sunday, 24 October 2004 10:01 (twenty-one years ago)

this is the winning combination.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 24 October 2004 11:20 (twenty-one years ago)

On the contrary, I would like to propose that one should abstain from onanism for up to 2 weeks before a date.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 24 October 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't have any answers, because amateurist's question is very much my own, but i just wanted to say that i liked how he articulated the problem.

― m. (mitchlnw), Sunday, 24 October 2004 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

this is really the only way I ever get anything done.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 24 October 2004 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean, not that my own existential panic should necessarily convince anyone that they want to sleep with me, but it might come in handy as a motivational tool.

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 24 October 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

cozen are you on aim?

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 24 October 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm at home right now (= no aim) but I should be on through the week. you should message me if you get the chance. apologies.

― cºzen (Cozen), Sunday, 24 October 2004 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

i used to haev big shyness isues until i found out that the usual talking -> dancing -> kissign procedure doesnt work at all for me but dancing -> kissing -> talking is very easy. the key is to go to parties / clubs where they play music you HAVE TO dance to. or rahter, that YOU haev to dance to. you transform the panic into movement, and since girls seem to be atracted to people who are caried away by the music, you realy kill two birds with one stone there. because whether or not you meet a girl, the angst wil be gone in the morning.

― :|, Sunday, 24 October 2004 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

god i wish i cuold get back the hours and hours i wasted at indie rock parties, weepign into my beer, brooding over my romantic principles. what the fuck was i thinking.

― :|, Sunday, 24 October 2004 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

principles, in general, are evil.

― :|, Sunday, 24 October 2004 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

sigh

― paranoia is the hipster's disease (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 24 October 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Tis true, too, that once you can really not give a shit, the power is yours.

Gar, this has to be why meeting someone and getting a date always works so much better for me than, like, actually going on the date/s.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Sunday, 24 October 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm actually surprised amateurist is capable of existential panic.

That's not intended as an insult, I swear.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 24 October 2004 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Alcohol really is a great answer, as long as you're not a *totally* different person when you've had a few drinks. After a few, I turn into a happier, flirtier, more sparkly version of myself -- nothing harmful there! So once the drink wears off you'll still be easily recognizable as the same person, except down a few notches perhaps.

If you're the kind of person that smashes things and walks around with a can of spray paint when drunk, disregard everything I said.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Sunday, 24 October 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

what do you mean michael?

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 24 October 2004 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

You seem too confident for existential panic. It's not as if I think "that's one confident dude right there" whenever I see your name, but I guess I just can't remember a post of yours where you talk about harboring crushing doubts...or picking up girls.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 24 October 2004 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm confident to a certain extent, and then i'm not.

i think of existential panic a a physiological phenomena, not a function of personality or intellect. something shifts, biochemically, in my brain and for a moment or two i am confronted with the finitude of existence. then i reachieve equilibrium and am able to successfully distract myself.

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 24 October 2004 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

as a physiological phenomena

(sorry)

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 24 October 2004 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Shifting into armchair therapist mode for a second, describing EP as essentially a physiological rather than psychological process might serve as a way to avoid confronting the reasons behind it.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 24 October 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

i'll have to think about that. but having been diagnosed with and treated for depression some years ago, i distinctly recall the effect certain medicine had on the phenomenon of existential panic (which *is* panic, i.e. it arrives with the physiological symptoms of panic). when i was acutely depressed, i couldn't will myself away from existential thoughts, but after the depression had passed (thanks in part to the medicine), i couldn't will myself toward existential thoughts--some other thought process would immediately intervene.

of course the depression had external causes as well, and causes i can fairly clearly identify (even at the time i was pretty clear on that), so perhaps we're talking about an interaction of external and physiological (innate?) factors.

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 24 October 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

i used the word "physiological" two too many times

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Sunday, 24 October 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 6 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

we're all gonna die.

― Hari Ashurst (Toaster), Monday, 25 October 2004 00:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i was reading heidegger today on this, he calls it anxiety. but he doesn't seem to suggest that it is an state which we can will into being. it just happens. my suggestion is just keep asking yourself "why" and follow the chain on down and see if it produces existential panic. problem is you may just decide there is no point in talking to girls in the first place. (for existential panic is precisely a moment of indecision, of confronting possibility itself, and as such it can hardly be useful in producing actions because it removes all basis for making decisions).

― ryan (ryan), Monday, 25 October 2004 00:53 (twenty-one years ago)

as far as existentialism in Reno goes, I think Johnny Cash has Kenan beat.

(sorry I just had to say that)

― manthony m1cc1o (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 25 October 2004 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

i think what you really want is courage--which requires a sense of actually NOT CARING if you get rejected (existential panic) and simultaneously caring enough to give it a shot in the first place. you need to divide yourself up. i suggest pretending it's a game, or an act, a performance.

― ryan (ryan), Monday, 25 October 2004 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I was reading Heidegger recently as well, only IIRC his "anxiety" didn't really have anything to with a fear of anything specific, like (say) an inability to pick up girls. Which meant I really couldn't get a grasp on what he was talking about.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 25 October 2004 01:04 (twenty-one years ago)

picking up girls is NOT hard. come on.

― cutty (mcutt), Monday, 25 October 2004 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah fear is definetly different (i am presenting on this tomorrow for my heidegger class)--fear can only apply to specific concerns, such as picking up a girl.

so you are right anxiety is about the indefinite, fear is about the definite. the temptation is to think, as the french did i guess, that anxiety, since it allows us to see whole realm of possibility, can be harnessed to our own ends, but this seems to directly contradict what the anxiety is about in the first place.

― ryan (ryan), Monday, 25 October 2004 01:07 (twenty-one years ago)

i wonder about panic as a total, faking apathy helps too. pretending not to care if you're rejected (esp if you're just pretending to yourself) makes it a lot easier

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 25 October 2004 01:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Satre was an existentialist, and ugly to boot, yet had no trouble picking up girls.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 25 October 2004 02:00 (twenty-one years ago)

mmmm Simone De Beauvoir

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Monday, 25 October 2004 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i actually want to read heidegger now!

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 25 October 2004 04:18 (twenty-one years ago)

mmmm Simone De Beauvoir

They had an open relationship! That he got the better end of.

― sundar subramanian (sundar), Monday, 25 October 2004 04:27 (twenty-one years ago)

He was quite the philanderer.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 25 October 2004 04:29 (twenty-one years ago)

But back in those days money/status/stature mattered more and looks less for men, right?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 25 October 2004 07:52 (twenty-one years ago)

In France, being a celebrated philosopher is quite the chick magnet. In America, the equivalent would be if you were Wiener Man or something.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 25 October 2004 08:31 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha, this is the most philosophical thread about picking up chicks ever :)

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Monday, 25 October 2004 08:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Amateurist, consider this: if you can persuade a cute girl that she's nothing in essence, and show her the nausea of the abyss, and you are near as damn to persuading her that she has nothing to lose if she goes to bed with you. Satre knew this. Feyerabend knew this. You can know it too!

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 25 October 2004 08:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Colin, it's Sartre, not Satre.

(Pedant.)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 25 October 2004 09:51 (twenty-one years ago)

actually i think he was referring to a satyr, those dudes got serious punanny

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 25 October 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Now I haven't been single for like six years so I don't know what I'm talking about, but I think if I were single and trying to pick up girls, I would take the philosophy that if you hit on every single girl you find remotely attractive, you have better chances of "success" (whatever that means) than if you obsess on one particular crush. You have to get yourself in the frame of mind that every time you see a girl that you are attracted to, on the street, on the train, etc., you go up to her and talk to her. This increases your chances statistically, and would eventually decrease the fear of approaching someone and talking to them for the first time, because after a while, it would just become a reflex.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 25 October 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

you should make motivational tapes, nick

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 25 October 2004 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

What movie is that from?

― adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 25 October 2004 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Zach Braff knew this, too.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 25 October 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Or maybe I was just focusing on the "cute girl" and the "abyss."

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 25 October 2004 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Cute Girl and the Abyss, sounds like a superhero duo.

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 25 October 2004 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I would so read that comic.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 25 October 2004 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Cute Girl Vs Abyss Vs Monkey Vs Robot

― adam. (nordicskilla), Monday, 25 October 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

COMING SOON FROM MARVEL COMICS:

ihttp://www.mmcomics.com/statues/bigpics/dst-cloak-dagger-bust-set.jpg

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 25 October 2004 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

You should never take philosophical advice from someone who can't spell Sartre. Moderator, delete my posts.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Monday, 25 October 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i just thought of another good way to induce existential panic: remember that anti-drug commercial where the guy is walking in circles and saying "I do coke, so I can work more, so I can earn more, so I can do more coke...."

well just reflect that really EVERYTHING is like that!

― ryan (ryan), Monday, 25 October 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

yea, like mcdonalds and the rainforest

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Monday, 25 October 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

mcdonalds serves coke.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 25 October 2004 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I so want to read Heidegger's Picking Up Girls Is Easy.

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 25 October 2004 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Die Ernte Herauf Mädchen Ist Einfach: Tome I

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 25 October 2004 22:28 (twenty-one years ago)

(in which Martin gets his oats)

― Alba (Alba), Monday, 25 October 2004 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

(however the book is severely compromised by its "nazi chicks give good head" chapter)

xpost

― amateur!!!st (amateurist), Monday, 25 October 2004 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

May I also recommend Chalmers' classic introductory text, 'what Is This Thing Called Dropping Science?'

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 00:26 (twenty-one years ago)

ugh

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 07:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh no John Williams hates my crap jokes!

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 07:18 (twenty-one years ago)

heidegger's definition of death: "the possibility of the impossibility of possibility"

― ryan (ryan), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 18:41 (twenty-one years ago)

are you sure? that sounds like a heidegger parody.

― amateur!!st, Wednesday, 27 October 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

no it's actually not! right there in Being and Time. the scary part is that after 250 pages that sentence makes a lot of sense.

― ryan (ryan), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

to be more precise it is his definition of our Being-toward death, not death itself.

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 28 October 2004 00:04 (twenty-one years ago)

ah well that makes all the difference!

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 28 October 2004 04:40 (twenty-one years ago)

clickk here to hear my wolf eyes / eye lov egg mashup

― sometimes i like to pretend i am very small and warm (ex machina), Thursday, 28 October 2004 04:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I suggest you sing this song, whenever you're in need of casting off the existential irons and gettin' yourself some nookie:

Larry, Pa, Mr. Lunt: "We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ..."

Larry: "We don't do anything!"

Pa: "Well, I've never been Greenland and I've never been to Denver, and I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul, and I've never been to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa, and I've never been to Boston in the fall."

All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ..."

Mr. Lunt: "We don't do anything. And I never hoist the mainstay and I never swab the poop deck, and I never veer to starboard 'cuz I never sail at all, and I've never walked the gang plank and I've never owned a parrot, and I've never been to Boston in the fall."

All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay at home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ... We don't do anything!"

Larry: "Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall, and I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice, and I've never been to Boston in the fall!"

Pa: "Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate??"

Mr. Lunt: "Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-y things!"

Larry: "Oh ..."

Pa: "And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?"

Mr. Lunt: "I think you look like Cap'n Crunch!"

Pa: "Huh? No I don't!"

Mr. Lunt: "Do too."

Pa: "Do not!"

Mr. Lunt: "You're making me hungry."

Pa: "That's it, you're walkin' the plank!"

Mr. Lunt: "Says who?"

Pa: "Says the captain, that's who!"

Mr. Lunt: "Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch!"

Larry: "And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a stink bug, and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, and I've never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings ..."

Pa: "You just don't get it!"

All: "And we've never been to Boston in the fall!"

Pa: "Pass the chips! Who's got the remote control?"

Larry: "Here is is!"

Mr. Lunt: "Time for Geraldo!"

Pa: "It's definitely time for Wapner."

Mr. Lunt: "Oh, I don't like this show ..."

― Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, 28 October 2004 04:42 (twenty-one years ago)

i was thinking of a quote and attributing it to heidegger, but on reflection i think it's schopenhauer. something like, "death is not a part of life."

xpost

it was also schopenhauer who wrote, "jon williams is a bore."

― amateur!!st, Thursday, 28 October 2004 04:42 (twenty-one years ago)

also, I suggest listening to the song here with the volume really loud.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Thursday, 28 October 2004 04:43 (twenty-one years ago)

funny you bring up schopenhauer because i think heidegger is basically moving in on the same kind of detachment that schop advocated except he is trying to prove that is possible because Dasein (us) are not in fact embodied. that's my suspicion anyway. we'll see where this damn book goes...

― ryan (ryan), Thursday, 28 October 2004 05:02 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.vgmuseum.com/end/gb/a/finalfantleg2-23.gif
http://www.vgmuseum.com/end/gb/a/finalfantleg2-24.gif
http://www.vgmuseum.com/end/gb/a/finalfantleg2-25.gif
http://www.vgmuseum.com/end/gb/a/finalfantleg2-26.gif

― LE CHUCK!™ (ex machina), Monday, 1 November 2004 08:26 (twenty-one years ago)

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