Alfred RIP

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You've got to love a king in the dark ages who could not only read but translated Boethius's 'The Consolation of Philosophy'. He is considered the father of the British Navy and fought hard to defend his land from the Danes. He died on this date in 899, 1,105 years ago. He is, perhaps, amongst the most sympathetic of English kings. If only for his love of literature and learning, I was thinking of him today.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

was he the one with the burnt cakes?

― Cathy (Cathy), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, I thought you meant the butler from 'Batman'.

― k3rry (dymaxia), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

― Deadaismus? (Dada), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Cathy,

Apocryphally, yes.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm with k3rry on that

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

What was the story, again? I just remember the burnt cakes part.

― Cathy (Cathy), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

you're a class act, michael white

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

A legend tells how, while a fugitive in the marshes of Athelney near North Petherton in Somerset, after the first Danish invasion, he was given shelter by a peasant woman who, ignorant of his identity, left him to watch some cakes she had left cooking on the fire. Preoccupied with the problems of the kingdom, Alfred let the cakes burn, and was taken to task by the woman on her return. Upon realizing the king's identity, the woman apologized profusely, but Alfred insisted that he was the one who needed to apologize. The thought that Alfred, during his retreat at Athelney, was a helpless fugitive rests upon the legend of the cakes. In truth he was organizing victory. At about the same time, he is supposed to have disguised himself as a harpist to gain entry to Guthrum's camp and discover his plans. From Wikipedia.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"burnt cakes" is an anagram of "breaks cunt"

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I can see why she would be mad then.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Not much of a legend, is it?

― Cathy (Cathy), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

It paints him in a very human light.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course, if Simpson/Bruckheimer (Bay directing) had ever gotten their hands on it, the story would have been slightly embellished.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I always find George VI the easiest to relate to - but I do dig Alfred. Did you watch 'Monarchy' last night, Michael?

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

What's 'Monarchy'? Bertie was cool and all but he didn't have to personally lead his army in 9 battles in a one year period.

The Alfred Jewel:

http://www.mirror.org/ken.roberts/alfred.jewel.gif

The figure on the Jewel has been supposed to be a represention of Christ as the incarnate form of the Wisdom of God, or possibly to be a personification of Sight. I love that a 9th century Saxon king was more interested in Wisdom than the Attorney General is now.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

honestly, i don't know if i approve of anything concerning The Consolation of Philosophy. It was easily the most difficult thing to wrap my head around when I read it for school last year. It was also disappointing that its thesis was essentially "god makes it okay."

wtf.

― Ian John50n (orion), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Have a heart, Ian, he wrote it in prison. If 'God' made that OK for him, I'm not gonna whine. Who tf made you read Boethius?

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, sorry, I assumed you were in the UK (maybe you still are...)

It's a Channel 4 documentary by David Starkey, charting the history of the British monarchy. It's really good so for...

http://www.channel4.com/history/microsites/M/monarchy/

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

In the Bruckheimer version, "Danish Invasion I: Operation Copenhagen," Alfred would discover a bomb in the lady's house and run out just as it exploded. When the lady came back, he'd say, "Sorry I burnt your cakes, lady," or "You asked me to cook your cakes, lady, but they're a little overdone." Then he'd strap on his harp/flamethrower and harpist disguise, head over to Guthrum's camp, and say, "I've burnt some cakes. Now it's time to toast some Danish."

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Michael: I know he wrote it in prison, and it's totally understandable from that perspective.. but still, as something meant to "explain the ways of God to man" or whatever, it didn't do a very good job--circular logic at its finest.

I was made to read it by Michael Pettinger (he deserves this if he googles himself) for a class on medieval lit. what a treat.

xposts

― Ian John50n (orion), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.crabapples.net/artwork/alfredE.gif

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"Operation Copenhagen" is fun to say out loud

― tombothagen copenation, Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Nemo, you forgot to mention that the 'lady' is some breast augmented trollope with a skin tight leather bodice which after the explosion, has experienced some wardrobe malfunction and who would yell out to him as he was off to Guthrum's camp, "You can bung a cake in my oven anytime, Al."

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

He is very highly regarded here in Oxfordshire on account of being born in Wantage. There is a statue of him in the town square. I wonder if Oxfordshire is the most popular place for English kings to be born in after London? There was a king born in Beaumont Palace, Oxford and Edward the Confessor was born in Islip (his mum was on the way to London but didn't get there on time, the Saxon equivalent to dropping the sprog in the back of a taxi).

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

a king born in Beaumont Palace

Richard I.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 16:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Thank you.

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

It's the only English thing about him.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Good point, Michael, about the trollope and all.

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

VO: "Dolph Lungen is GUTHRUM." Zoom into close shot of Dolph's head in Viking helmet and flaxen beard with soiled, sweaty face reflecting flames amid a lowering sky.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Bruce Willis's grimy face approaches camera. Anonymous Danish marauders approach him with swords drawn and say, "Prepare to die, Alfred!" Willis spits out his cigarette butt and says, "Call me Al," then blasts them with his flamethrowing harp.

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Meanwhile, in typical ahistoric fashion, we see all but ten of the ravens in the Tower of London, cock their heads momentarily as if hearing a distant call before taking flight. Next shot shows them swooping out of the English fog to attack the Danish soldiers' eyes. Willis watches approvingly and one of the birds alights upon his shoulder. He looks at it grinning and says, "If their eyes offend you, pluck'em out." A blinded, bloody-faced Dane trips and falls in front of him and Willis looks down and says, "You guys are for the birds," and walks off.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Excellent. The movie really just writes itself. And I think this thread is going to generate a lot of buzz for it.

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Can I pitch you Lady Godiva, Nemo?

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

As long as Godiva is not also played by Dolph Lundgren.

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Why not? Could make a fun comedy. Dolph on an enormously obese horse with a wig down to his ass à la Bugs Bunny in 'What's Opera Doc?'.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 18:09 (twenty-one years ago)

All right, you've sold me. This might be just the sort of role Dolph needs to reach a new and younger audience.

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

To reach a newer, younger, more unbalanced audience and push them over the edge.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 26 October 2004 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Despite being a Saxon, Alfred was still great.

― Kissing Time At The Pleasure Unit (kate), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Apparently his father was called Ethelwulf, a name which has sadly died out.

― Nemo (JND), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

'Noble Wolf'. Sounds like a great blastcore moniker.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Apparently 'Saxon' is from Old Germanic for teabagging.

― Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

And I always thought the Italians discovered teabagging!

― Nemo (JND), Wednesday, 27 October 2004 18:42 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

RIP

― Michael White, Friday, 26 October 2007 15:00 (eighteen years ago)

He was an ambitious guy.

― Casuistry, Friday, 26 October 2007 15:05 (eighteen years ago)

The movie outlined above must happen. (Or is that the new National Treasure movie?)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 26 October 2007 15:08 (eighteen years ago)

I thought this would be about Hitchcock

― Heave Ho, Friday, 26 October 2007 15:13 (eighteen years ago)

Robyn's not dead.

― Michael White, Friday, 26 October 2007 15:15 (eighteen years ago)

Haha, Michael.

― James Redd and the Blecchs, Friday, 26 October 2007 15:19 (eighteen years ago)

That's great!

― Michael White, Friday, 26 October 2007 15:25 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.patfullerton.com/batman/pix/alfred/alfred1966-tv-sm.jpg

― James Redd and the Blecchs, Monday, 29 October 2007 16:57 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.agrandillusion.com/AlfredSoto.jpg

RIP.

― jaymc, Monday, 29 October 2007 16:59 (eighteen years ago)

You won't have Alfred to kick around anymore.

― James Redd and the Blecchs, Monday, 29 October 2007 17:01 (eighteen years ago)

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/c/c5/Alfred_University_seal.jpg

― James Redd and the Blecchs, Tuesday, 30 October 2007 14:59 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.nndb.com/people/120/000113778/alfred-jarry.jpg

― Michael White, Tuesday, 30 October 2007 15:13 (eighteen years ago)

You've got to love a king in the dark ages who could not only read but translated Boethius's 'The Consolation of Philosophy'

I thought he was illiterate. I read once that he thought education and literacy were a great idea, but could never get the hang of it himself. Touchingly, he used to sleep with a quill under his pillow in the hope that it's magic would wear off on him.

I dunno... is he the last king of England who did not farm cock?

― The Real Dirty Vicar, Tuesday, 30 October 2007 16:18 (eighteen years ago)

three years pass...

Bump

― Muammar for the road (Michael White), Wednesday, 26 October 2011 18:03 (fourteen years ago)

Thought you meant the university

― An Outcast From Time's Feast (James Redd and the Blecchs), Wednesday, 26 October 2011 18:05 (fourteen years ago)

Heaven needed a Soto oh wait.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 26 October 2011 18:08 (fourteen years ago)

This must be amongst my first ten threads, I'd wager

― Muammar for the road (Michael White), Wednesday, 26 October 2011 18:09 (fourteen years ago)

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