While we're talking about fundamentalist wackos, this guy yelled "JESUS WILL SAVE YOU" at a lion

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which then proceeded to bite and maul him.

http://www.local6.com/news/3887764/detail.html

Man Survives Jump Into Lion's Den
46-Year-Old Reportedly Trying To Convert Lions To Christianity

POSTED: 3:27 pm EST November 3, 2004
UPDATED: 4:59 pm EST November 3, 2004

A man was attacked and injured after jumping into a lion's den at the Taipei Zoo and trying to convert the lions to Christianity.

The 46-year-old man leaped into the den of African lions and shouted "Jesus will save you," according to the report. He also said, "Come bite me" before one of the male lions attacked and bit the man.

Video showed the lion ripping a jacket off the man at the zoo in Taiwan's capital, clawing him and then biting the man in the leg.

Zoo workers were able to drive off the lion with water hoses and tranquilizer guns.

The lions were fed earlier in the day otherwise the man might have been more seriously injured or killed.

http://images.ibsys.com/2004/1103/3887858.jpg
http://images.ibsys.com/2004/1103/3887871.jpg
http://images.ibsys.com/2004/1103/3887863.jpg
http://images.ibsys.com/2004/1103/3887866.jpg
http://images.ibsys.com/2004/1103/3887892.jpg

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:13 (twenty years ago)

If only the other 158 million of them in the USA would do that. And the lions were really hungry.

― From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:18 (twenty years ago)

Amen, brother.

Amen.

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:18 (twenty years ago)

hahahahahahahaha lion why u break jesus heart all teh time :'(

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:18 (twenty years ago)

Best news story ever.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:20 (twenty years ago)

Gotta save the animals before the humans.

Wait, what separates the humans from the animals if they all have souls?

― Girolamo Savonarola, Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:21 (twenty years ago)

Lions can't read.

Poor illiterate fools need someone to read God's word to them!

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:22 (twenty years ago)

Come bite me!

(x-post - Christianity says animals have no souls - this guy is a bit odd)

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:23 (twenty years ago)

a shame that this wasn't the tuscaloosca zoo ... and it was jerry falwell.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:24 (twenty years ago)

This is "completely" "unrelated" but my roommate is on the phone talking to an apparently democratic friend of hers (she's a republican and inordinantely proud of it) and carrying on and on about:

a) how terrorists attacked "our" way of life (she's from South Florida, btw) and the reaction of people in NYC (people she doesn't know and wasn't here at the time to see) towards terrorism as justification for GWB
b) how GWB is actually LIBERATING women everywhere
c) that democrats actively oppress and denigrate minorities, while republicans actually empower them by completely giving all of us the short shift on education and community building instead of "pitying" us
d) OSAMA BIN LADEN WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE ISN'T IN IRAQ SHUT UP SADDAM HUSSEIN I MEANT TO SAY

please someone stop me from feeding her to a lion.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:25 (twenty years ago)

she should be run over by the mighty righteous wheels of the avenging PIZZA CHRIST.

this person is in COLUMBIA?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:27 (twenty years ago)

(ally's roommate, that is. is she a legacy admit?!?)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:28 (twenty years ago)

We don't have standards, the pitying oppressive liberal democratic elite constantly take pity on poor high school drop out half-hispanic females like me and my roomie, with their quota systems.

I am really, really am refraining myself from going out there and screaming at her, "How many people did you know who died in 9/11? Hmmmm? Oh, none? Well stop claiming a fucking douchebag in their name, asswad."

We've had other problems, which is what is making this increasingly insufferable but really her political view points are appalling to me.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:30 (twenty years ago)

Ally, sounds like she needs a good, hard slapping.

― Andrew (enneff), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:31 (twenty years ago)

God, seriously can anyone point to anything GWB has done for women or minorities? I mean, specifically?

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:31 (twenty years ago)

I mean, I can see his Biblical inspiration, but there are difference:

Daniel didn't voluntarily hang out with the lions, he was put there.
Daniel didn't try to talk to the lions, or convert them.
Daniel didn't yell "come bite me" at the lions.
God liked Daniel, so stopped the lions from eating him.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:32 (twenty years ago)

it sounds like you've got GLORIA ESTAFAN as a roommate ... she needs to be shown the truth, nuyorican/big pun style!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:32 (twenty years ago)

OH SHE JUST GAVE THE JUSTIFICATION AS TO WHAT HE'S DONE FOR WOMEN AND MINORITIES.

"There is no justification for these people, and their illiterate, backwards, stupid countrymen to support them, getting on planes and destroying our way of life. GB went over there and he is liberating their women from the oppression and he is liberating them from their stupidity."

I just typed that, word for word, as she was saying it.

HOLY SHIT.

Also, despite Tom having a long conversation with her, she still seems fairly convinced that the entire military is totally enamoured with this war and believes in GWB and Cheney.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:34 (twenty years ago)

God liked Daniel

Rolling on the motherfucking floor!

― Girolamo Savonarola, Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:34 (twenty years ago)

Ally, are you living with Ann Coulter?

― Girolamo Savonarola, Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:35 (twenty years ago)

which reminds me of a bumpersticker ... "God loves you ... everyone else thinks you're an asshole!"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:36 (twenty years ago)

Daniel 6:16
Then the king commanded, and they brought Daniel, and cast him into the den of lions. "Now", the king spake and said unto Daniel, "Thy God whom thou servest continually, he will deliver thee."

― From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:37 (twenty years ago)

BASICALLY YES, I AM LIVING WITH ANN COULTER

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:37 (twenty years ago)

Women are stupid regardless of whether they are opressed or not. It's science.

― Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:38 (twenty years ago)

(Damn, Kevin beat me to the Daniel reference)

― From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:38 (twenty years ago)

Daniel didn't try to talk to the lions, or convert them.

so this means that we can beat the shit outta all those annoying jesus freaks in subway stations?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:38 (twenty years ago)

jimmy 50-cent the mod

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:39 (twenty years ago)

"It's not like the Swiss are radical, crazy, terrorists, hoppin' on planes and killin' people!"

?????

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:39 (twenty years ago)

(xx-post) Only if they're lions. And you're Tarzan.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:39 (twenty years ago)

SO MANY CHRISTIANS, SO FEW LIONS (do not read if you are a Jesus Freak!)

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:44 (twenty years ago)

So her justification is that GWB helped women in other countries?

what about women in this country?
she seems to think that y'all have had a good ride, but don't really need to worry about making your own decisions in life?

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:46 (twenty years ago)

this post is why tom ewing rules:

Emperor Nero instituted the public execution of Christians in Roman areans. A flamboyant public figure who made no secret of his sexual hedonism, he also held hardline views on the spread of this belief system, imported from the Middle East. Christianity threatened the syncretic culture and higher civilisation Romans held dear, and Christians made no secret of their hatred for Roman law and customs. Tolerance, Nero concluded, was not an option. His opinions won him a significant level of support, but he was also seen as a dangerous demagogue and was eventually assassinated!
-- Tom (ebro...), May 14th, 2002.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:49 (twenty years ago)

wait'll those iraqi women start asking for "abortions on demand"!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:50 (twenty years ago)

OK I've been asked to share this story I was juts sharing on AIM.

My roommate, as I said, comes from a very similar background to me. My family is no longer on public assistance and hers is, which is the main difference here. She is constantly labelling them as lazy and basically worthless because of this, which is kind of shocking to me, I mean that's your family, but it's not my business. She wears this shit like a badge though, she brings up how she is a "minority female from a welfare background" every time anyone like even kind of seems like they might be thinking about politics. So her argument is that she found a job, so everyone should find a job, and she's sick of HER TAX DOLLARS going to support LAZY ASSES like her brother.

Keep in mind that her job is working as an au pair for a rich couple, who pay her in cash, under the table.

Her tax contribution with this current job: ZIPPO.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:53 (twenty years ago)

Nero was assassinated, if you count suicide as assassination.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:54 (twenty years ago)

milo, if you can get rid of the "granola mafia" (great phrase, BTW), then you will have done yer part as a gentlemen and a citizen. i would recommend giving the lot of 'em a one-way ticket to one of those islands in the white sea where the russians dumped all of their nuclear waste and dud missiles during the cold war, but when i become Vice Dictator of Earth i've reserved that spot for the religious fanatics.
-- Little Big Macher (llamasfu...), October 14th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Lord Custos, Dictator of Earth
To: Little Big Macher
Re: Plan for Religious Fanatics.
Very ambitious.
I will now add you to my Executive Cabinet, Little Big Macher.
Begin setting up the Stalag at the Island of Woe. Take as many of my Construction Minions as you feel the project requires.

(xpost)

-- Lord Custos Omicron, Dictator of Earth (l.custo...), October 14th, 2003.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:55 (twenty years ago)

(xpost)
I guess she also is tired of her tax dollars going to fight this all so great WAR ON TERRA!

― Girolamo Savonarola, Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:55 (twenty years ago)

i'm sure that you don't need me to say this, ally. but yer roommate has some SERIOUS issues. and i dunno whether to laugh at her or pity her.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:56 (twenty years ago)

maybe she's auditioning to be the new, hispanic MICHELLE MALKIN ... or something. conservatives LOVE tokens.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:57 (twenty years ago)

"Hmm, everything looks fine over My creation...people are a bit annoyed about Bush, but they'll be fine when they realise what I have in store for him...wait, Oh! What is that little mook doing now? Trying to get lions to worship me? I made lions - let me tell you, the lions are just fine: they didn't eat my fucking apples! Well, you've done it this time - I can't let you go around converting my animals to me! What next - flamingoes? Okay lions, bon appetit..."

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:58 (twenty years ago)

ok the idea of someone converting a flamingo is delightful to me.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 4 November 2004 03:59 (twenty years ago)

c'mon FLYYYYYYYY pelican!!!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:00 (twenty years ago)

I'm pretty bored.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:01 (twenty years ago)

NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

http://tea.rice.edu/Images/Photo_Gallery/atwood_last_penguin.jpg

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:01 (twenty years ago)

Thinking about it - isn't there a Catholic cathedral in New York (maybe) that blesses the animals from the zoo on one day of the year, in the cathedral?

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:03 (twenty years ago)

Mormons baptized a bunch of Holocaust victims!

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:04 (twenty years ago)

It's the biggest show in town!

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:04 (twenty years ago)

and "space brides"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:06 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, the Cathedral of St John the Divine in Manhattan, on the feast of St. Francis...

http://archives.cnn.com/2000/US/10/01/animal.blessings/story.animal.blessing.ap.jpg

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:09 (twenty years ago)

http://home.uchicago.edu/~obmontoy/cats.jpg

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:09 (twenty years ago)

(imagigoogling "animal blessing" come up with some good pictures, btw)

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:12 (twenty years ago)

This is no job for a grown man.

ihttp://schoolnet.gov.mt/siggiewic/animal%20blessing.jpg

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:19 (twenty years ago)

look at how clean and white his robes are, though!

I bet he makes pretty good $bling$!

― trigonalmayhem (trigonalmayhem), Thursday, 4 November 2004 04:24 (twenty years ago)

This story has made my day.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 4 November 2004 13:47 (twenty years ago)

lion, i luv u

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 4 November 2004 13:49 (twenty years ago)

they stole the idea from that vicar of dibley show.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 4 November 2004 13:51 (twenty years ago)

My only regret about this story is that the guy wasn't killed (although, that would proobably mean that they'd have to put down the lion, so I guess it's just as well).

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 4 November 2004 15:17 (twenty years ago)

Ally, you should totally report your roommate to the IRS!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 November 2004 15:23 (twenty years ago)

http://images.ibsys.com/2004/1103/3887858.jpg

I just love the lion's expression in this pic. "You have got to be fuckin' kiddin' me!"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 4 November 2004 15:25 (twenty years ago)

They might still have to put the lion down to make sure it wasn't harboring some secret disease... like Satanism.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 4 November 2004 15:26 (twenty years ago)

I hope it was a gay lion.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 4 November 2004 15:28 (twenty years ago)

These lions didn't just attack a man -- they attacked OUR WAY OF LIFE! Yes, the bad lions must be smoked out and destroyed, but it is just as important that we maintain dialogue with the more moderate elements, in hopes of establishing a legitimate lion government that is friendly to Christian values.

The lion population must be made to understand that our fight is not with them, but with their leadership.

― briania (briania), Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:07 (twenty years ago)

Um, this is funny and all but I really fear for the sanity of some of you.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:07 (twenty years ago)

Step one toward winning over the lion's heart and mind: destroying the leonine myth of the "tasty Christian."

― briania (briania), Thursday, 4 November 2004 16:10 (twenty years ago)

Naked Man Hides in Plane Wheel Well
Man Strips Naked, Climbs Fence and Hides in Plane Wheel Well at Los Angeles Airport
The Associated Press

Nov. 4, 2004 - A man was charged with trespassing after he stripped naked, scaled a airport fence, ran across the tarmac and climbed into a plane's wheel well before firefighters talked him out, officials said.

The man had earlier tried to buy a ticket for a Qantas Airways flight to Australia with only a credit card receipt. He told authorities at Los Angeles International Airport that he stripped off his clothes Monday to protest the airline's decision to deny him the ticket, airport spokeswoman Nancy Castles said.

The man, Neil Melly, 31, of Canada, suffers from bipolar disorder (also called manic-depressive illness) and had been listed as a missing person in Canada, Castles said. He was booked on a tresspassing charge, and was released from custody Tuesday.

Baggage handlers saw the man climb an 8-foot, barbed-wire fence that separates public and private areas of the airport and run to a departing plane as it backed from the gate. He climbed into a wheel well before the plane stopped.

He ignored police officers' commands to come out, but complied when city firefighters arrived. The Boeing 747, bound for Melbourne, Austrialia, departed an hour late.

Airport authorities will look into improving the fence, said Paul Haney, a spokesman for the agency that operates the airport.

― Rockist_Scientist (rockist_scientist), Thursday, 4 November 2004 18:02 (twenty years ago)

They're showing this on CNN's Wolf Blitzer Reports in just a sec, I saw a clip.

― From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Thursday, 4 November 2004 22:29 (twenty years ago)

Whoa, he climbed the 8-foot barbed-wire fence naked?? He's lucky he didn't get his peen snagged.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 4 November 2004 22:36 (twenty years ago)

Um, they're going to show the lion guy, not the naked guy on CNN, to clarify.

― From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Thursday, 4 November 2004 22:38 (twenty years ago)

I don't understand how he knew the lion wasn't Christian in the first place.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 4 November 2004 22:40 (twenty years ago)

The lion was in a same-sex partnership.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 4 November 2004 22:41 (twenty years ago)

B-b-but if it was ASLAN?!

― Nemo (JND), Thursday, 4 November 2004 22:42 (twenty years ago)

hahah, I just typed
"The lion was humping another male lion"

― From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Thursday, 4 November 2004 22:42 (twenty years ago)

Aslan is more Christian than anybody.

http://www.zoofur.com/haplion2.jpg

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 4 November 2004 22:44 (twenty years ago)

Ah, they just showed it. It was like 10 seconds, nothing special.

― From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Thursday, 4 November 2004 22:47 (twenty years ago)

You know, can I just say, apropos of nothing really to do with this thread besides my own posts, I wish the terrorists would come "attack OUR way of life" some more, at least to the extent that certain people's "way of life" is so affected that they don't, you know, MOVE TO THE CITY WORST HIT BY TERRORISM, APPARENTLY TO RUIN MY LIFE.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Thursday, 4 November 2004 22:49 (twenty years ago)

Is your roommate at it again?

― From a Land of Grass Without Mirrors (AaronHz), Thursday, 4 November 2004 22:54 (twenty years ago)

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