Yes, Ladies, Men Are Back.

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The New York Post has identified an important new trend:

http://www.nypost.com/commentary/31761.htm

― Nemo (JND), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I am here to report that the male of the species — for too long feminized, intellectualized and metrosexualized into near-extinction — has returned.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

― adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess I should cancel my pedicure?

― Huk-L, Friday, 5 November 2004 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Forget you even know what the word means. It's floor-humping time.

― Nemo (JND), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

SHHHH! QUIT INTERRUPTING BY KELP BODY WRAP TREATMENT!

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm already forgetting how to cook and clean!

― Huk-L, Friday, 5 November 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

it's funny, when you hear about why people like other people.

― RJG (RJG), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Men. Bulging biceps and clear-cut six packs. The bigger, the brawnier, the better.

I don't understand how this is a conservative victory. I thought they were threatened by gay men.

http://www.gay.brighton.co.uk/images/sauna_man.jpg

― Kenan (kenan), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

God knows that's exactly what this country is lacking--machismo.

Don't want none a' dem book-readin' wimpy fag boys who don't like killin' stuff...

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

These are real men!

http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/warner_brothers/blue_collar_comedy_tour__the_movie/_group_photos/bill_engvall1.jpg

But their biceps suck. I'm still confused.

― Kenan (kenan), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't really feel like reading much more of that than I just did. Please tell me by the end of it they are waving the now-beergutted reformed beanpole as the heraldic standard of sexocity.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel like I've read a "real men are back" article like three times a year for the last decade or so. You'd think we'd have hunted the latte sipping, sensitive, girly man to extinction by now.

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

.....yet I continue to draw breath!

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost No. Sorry. We still love you, though.

― Kenan (kenan), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I HAVE A GREAT RECIPE FOR SAFFRON SEAFOOD STEW!

EMAIL ME FOR DETAILS!

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I'm with Matt. I think the stupidest thing along that line was the campaign for...Boss? Ralph Lauren? something...back in the early nineties with the tag line "Men are back!" I arched my eyebrow and wondered, "They went away?," shrugged and got on with life. Reinforcement of 'masculinity' this way shows a deep-seated insecurity I'm not suffering.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.findadeath.com/Deceased/F/Chris%20Farley/Chippendale%20skit.JPG

― maura (maura), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Sexy is men who listen to piano house at 8am.

― adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

But Ned... you have long hair, so clearly you are "one of them."

Also, I hope M@tt was not joking about an awesome saffron seafood stew recipe; that sounds killer.

― Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Will someone PLEASE fuck the woman who wrote tis article? Please?

― Kenan (kenan), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:18 (twenty-one years ago)

also, C on Ts.

― Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:19 (twenty-one years ago)

But Ned... you have long hair, so clearly you are "one of them."

I am relentlessly untroubled.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, I hope M@tt was not joking about an awesome saffron seafood stew recipe; that sounds killer.

Is that yr real email address? if not, mine is real, feel free to hit me up and the delicious details will be yours!

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I think my favorite thing about this article is that it's in the "Commentary" section, along with the editorials.

― Nemo (JND), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahahahahahahahahaha - ian wins.

― peter smith (plsmith), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

So it was yesterday that I trekked to He-Man Central...
http://www.omgjeremy.com/christmaslist/greyskull.jpg
!!!!???!?!??!?!??!?!????????!?!!!!!?!??!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

It was written by Loopy Lynda. Or Outrageous Olivia...

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

He-Man didn't have a girlfriend.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

It was cowardly Prince Adam who was the chick-magnet.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I am not going to the gym. I am not wanting a six pack.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:29 (twenty-one years ago)

http://newyorkmetro.com/nymetro/news/people/andreapeyser040419_175.jpg
MMMM ANDREA LIKEY HE-MAN SEX YUO UP
http://www.jesse-blue.de/grafiken/cartoon/heman/heman.jpg
OMG IT'S HE-MAN MAKE "OH" FACE TIME

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I am not going to the gym. I am not wanting a six pack.

I AM going to the liquor store. I AM wanting a six pack.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I want a six-pack!

― adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.he-man.org/cartoon/animationart/production-pp-085-2-final.jpg
"You girls need to understand that with eyeshadow, less is more!"

― Huk-L, Friday, 5 November 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha!

― adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

It's also important to note that this is in the New York Post, not anything that matters

― Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

adam is joing the chip'n'dales!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

http://nastystart.org/images/news/heman04202003.jpg
"I am not an erection metaphor!"

― Huk-L, Friday, 5 November 2004 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Rescue Rangers!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Huk, who gave you access to Arnold Shwartzenegger & Mariah Shriver's private directory of wedding photos?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

It is SO CUTE how her male ideal is the kind of muscley brawn that doesn't actually do anything productive or dignified, like operating heavy machinery or saving lives. It's as complete a "castration" as any dreamed up by the hairy-airmed PC feminist straw-wymyn she's always blabbing about.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, there's nothing more embarrassing or painful than a partial castration.

― Huk-L, Friday, 5 November 2004 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"He met his former wife while stripping at an Italian-American fund- raiser, after peeling his ex-mother-in-law off his G-string."

Come on, that's hard work!

― Nemo (JND), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to read "Yes, Men, Ladies Are Back" by Lil Jon.

― miccio, Friday, 5 November 2004 19:44 (twenty-one years ago)

But the guy is an ex-cop!

― Cathy (Cathy), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

(I am the only ILXor who actually would like to be gigantic and musclebound, then.)

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

(I'd settle for being gagged and bound)

― Huk-L, Friday, 5 November 2004 19:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes I would like to be gigantic and musclebound, too.

― Cathy (Cathy), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Hooray! Have they figured out a way to do that that doesn't involve exercise?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't want to be gigantic.

― adam... (nordicskilla), Friday, 5 November 2004 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 24 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I actually am gigantic and musclebound. My legs look like gnarly treetrunks. I didn't actually mean it to turn out this way

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Magma on the other hand were real men

http://b00mb0x.org/blog/magma.jpg

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, come on Steve, you like Genesis, how has Yes fever not taken over yet?

(I'll go for Magma, and in a tangentially-related-to-Henry Cow stylee Slapp Happy, but NO MORE PROG, okay?)

― emil.y (emil.y), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:52 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost WOWOWOW I've never seen a picture of Magma before, they are REAL REAL MEN!

― emil.y (emil.y), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:53 (twenty-one years ago)

If there's one thing about the 70s that we need in this time of crisis now more than ever, it's the white dude afro.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:53 (twenty-one years ago)

It's like Joey Ramone and Leonard Cohen fused and led a band.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Genesis were a bit gay though

http://www.attracco.it/immaginiascolt10/gabriel.jpg

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

eyeliner!

― Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

God damnit Phil Collins, you were a good drummer AND a mutton-chopped cutey pie, how oh how did you fall so far?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 5 November 2004 20:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Tho Pete does look pretty rocking here

http://www.sopi.it/nuovosound/nsimages/Gabriel%20Peter.jpg

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

It's the dude from the Darkness!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Can we just post pictures of prog rock bands here? I am sitting at home hiding from the firworks, I need the entertainment of ludicrous costumes.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.beautiful-records.com/glamrock/wizzard/bilder/wizzard_photo_03.jpg

Not prog, I guess, but still ludicrously costumed.

― Nemo (JND), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

That's the biznizz. More!

Also, chippendales.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:27 (twenty-one years ago)

for you steve

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Chippendales and prog rolled into one. I'm in heaven.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

http://home.cogeco.ca/~mansion/anderson1.jpg

― Nemo (JND), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:36 (twenty-one years ago)

wot girlish hips

― Loose Translation: Sexy Dancer (sexyDancer), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

ALL OTHER PROG ACTZ PWND:

http://www.progressiveworld.net/jpg/arsnova_band4_sm.jpg

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

They are not MANLY enough for me.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Kneel before them, pitiful man. ;)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.jdamen.tmfweb.nl/Pictures/IQ/iq84.jpg

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

(now i'm on a quest to find the most ridiculous-looking '80s' prog revivalists)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

OMFG

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Magma on the other hand were real men

http://b00mb0x.org/blog/magma.jpg

-- Steve.n. (pseudonym786...) (webmail), November 5th, 2004. (sjkirk)

Like Emil.y, Steve, I saw the photo and had to agree. Then, on looking further, I noticed the man on the bottom right.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Eye makeup TS:

http://www.dprp.net/proghistory/1972_03/genesisbandphoto.jpg vs http://www.jdamen.tmfweb.nl/Pictures/IQ/iq84.jpg

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

arse

http://www.jdamen.tmfweb.nl/Pictures/IQ/iq84.jpg

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Like Emil.y, Steve, I saw the photo and had to agree. Then, on looking further, I noticed the man on the bottom right.

every band needs their sean manic.

― Steve.n. (sjkirk), Friday, 5 November 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Pashmina, tell us what you know about the band in your photo. I am thirsting for more information.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Friday, 5 November 2004 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.onstage.nl/onstage/gfx/2003/concert_impressies_2/cb_holger_czukay.jpg

― Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 5 November 2004 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Which photo?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 5 November 2004 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

!!!!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 5 November 2004 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

karl palmer!! krowr!!

(nb jorgen angel's site = GREAT photos)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 5 November 2004 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

http://ubl.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGPORTRAITS/music/portrait200/drp000/p067/p06770kw48a.jpg

― Pangolino Again, Friday, 5 November 2004 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

In today's New York Times, an article in the business section chronicles Maxim's new campaign against metrosexuality. An excerpt:

"The Maxim campaign borrows a bit from the culture wars, but presents it as a question of cuticles. It warns, for instance, of a disorder called Mantropy, a spiritual degeneration among men that is indicated by manicures, excessive smoothie consumption and frequent seaweed wraps. Because men can find protection in the pages of Maxim, the campaign suggests in a brochure, advertisers should use Maxim to find men.

The brochure, titled "Are You Dying Inside?", will be distributed this month at ad agencies in various cities, among them New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco.

Another piece of the campaign, which has a total budget of $1 million, is meant to look like an application to the government to list "man" as an endangered species. "Disappearing habitat," the cover page reads. "Metrosexuality. The proliferation of in-line skates. Man is in terrible danger. In fact, he's rollerblading on the brink of extinction."

The mock petition concludes that without the protection of a government "endangered" listing, "man will surely succumb to the ravages of an effeminate, feng shui world gone mad."

The petition will be inserted into 3,000 copies of Maxim's December issue that will go to agency executives and marketers, then be included in the entire print run of the January issue. A Web site (www.endangeredman.com), to be introduced next Monday, will focus on the same "save man" theme.

The premise - that excessive grooming, smoothies and wimpy sports are draining masculinity from men - may deserve to be filed under hyperbole. But the underlying notion is that Maxim affirms certain behaviors in men before offering them to advertisers. As the Mantropy brochure says, "Monthly doses of Maxim magazine, and strict adherence to the lifestyle outlined in its pages, have proven effective in curing even the worst cases of Mantropy."

That lifestyle, marketers will note, includes buying video games, going to movies and using just enough grooming products to get girls without appearing too metrosexual.

"We want to cement in everyone's mind that Maxim is synonymous with man as man exists right now," said Alex Bogusky, partner and executive creative director at Crispin Porter & Bogusky in Miami, which created the campaign. "It can be lost in the scantily clad girls, because as men we love that and it can appear to be overrepresented. It's really not about that. It's about what it is to be a guy."

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

And the first rule is you don't talk about Fight Club.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

MAXIM TO MEN: DON'T BE SO FUCKING GAY

Subtext: "We're a men's magazine but we're not gay. No, really!"

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 17:44 (twenty-one years ago)

"excessive smoothie consumption" = "stop eating so many dicks"

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"Are You Dying Inside?" = "DO YOU HAVE AIDS?"

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

"Would you like a protein boost with that?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Shhh! Don't talk about it, Ned!

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

colin, http://arsnova.chocot.net/

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Search "retrosexual" if you're at all interested (I'm sure most of you can guess what sort of texts you'll get).

Daddino so OTM.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"using just enough grooming products to get girls without appearing too metrosexual"

BUT HOW DO WE KNOW WHEN WE'VE CROSSED THE LINE???

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Maxim readers will beat the crap out of you.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, that's a relief.

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

wtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtf

I got a comment in P'n'J last year about how if Bush won there'd be a massive "metrosexuality in da club" backlash (N.W.A lyrics:L.A. Riots::Toby Keith lyrics:Disco Sucks 2K) and I'm horrified.

― miccio (miccio), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

We need to return to the manly values of an earlier time.

http://www.library.dal.ca/images/spcol/dandy.jpg

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.mystudios.com/treasure/hilliard/dandy.jpg

― Nemo (JND), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

damn, I can't find the cover of the first Scrubbaloe Caine record anywhere online. If anyone has better luck, for god's sake, PLEASE POST IT HERE!

― Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

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