The US military can kill goats by staring at them

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http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/C/crazy_rulers/index.html

Jon Ronson's new series entitled 'the crazy rulers of the world' in which he is chronicling some of the crazy things the US military has been up to including a Hippy Lieutenant Colonel proposing soldier going into battle bearing baby lambs, playing soothing music or ,if things got hairy, atonal syncopated acid rock. Plus a whole cavalcade of people who claim to be able to kill goats (or hamsters) merely by staring at them. Anyway, discuss here.

― Ed (dali), Sunday, 7 November 2004 20:47 (twenty-one years ago)

If you want to read about it, there was an extract from the book of the series in the Guardian last weekend - i'd imagine it will be on their website somewhere.

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 7 November 2004 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

The programme opened with a Major General who believes he could walk through walls if only he could line his atoms up correctly with those of the wall.

― Ed (dali), Sunday, 7 November 2004 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, seeing the Leuitenant-Colonel guy giving a speech to dead soldiers from vietnam was odd, and kind of upsetting.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Sunday, 7 November 2004 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Major-General Alfred Stubblebine III! You have to admit, he has a great name.

(or was it Albert? I'm not sure now)

(xpost)

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 7 November 2004 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I can kill gnats by thinking about Doris Day movies.

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 7 November 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

i can kill spiders with my feet

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 7 November 2004 21:02 (twenty-one years ago)

and i have to, nightly. i'm always finding spiders in my room all the time.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 7 November 2004 21:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I read the excerpt in the guardian, and it was really fascinating, I must admit. I'd like to have read more, so I'll pick up the book when I see it. A lot of this stuff is really interesting, but the actual truth tends to get obscured by paranoid fantasists.

I used to try and walk through walls myself when I was a kid, also, I'd try to move objects w/telekinesis. It never worked, sad to say.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Sunday, 7 November 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I used to try that stuff when I was a kid too - It's just odd to find respected, grown men trying these things still. Of course, if they spend more time trying to walk through walls, and less time developing new incendiary bombs, viruses etc., it's alright with me.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Sunday, 7 November 2004 21:07 (twenty-one years ago)

it works...sometimes. i can move my fingers with my brainses.

― spooky mctelepath, Sunday, 7 November 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

The programme was tedious. It was Ronson on auto-pilot: easy laughs from indulging deluded nutcases. I turned over to watch Top Gear after 20 minutes.

― David Merryweather (DavidM), Sunday, 7 November 2004 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Can't understand why anyone feels they can mark judgement on a documentary after only watching the first third. Actually, I missed the first fifteen minutes or so, but it presumably the series as a whole is going to deal with the way that 'New Age' or esoteric thinking has influenced modern US interrogation methods, and so far it seems to be equal parts risible and chilling.

The bit with the hamsters was obviously very tongue in cheek, and maybe, I thought, saw Ronson taking his schtick into self-parody. Also, I'm not sure if he wasn't just being a big coward when he let the martial arts trainer push him over. All the same, I admire his skill at delving through history and hierarchy and making his docs deft and watchable.

― Jason J, Monday, 8 November 2004 00:02 (twenty-one years ago)

it was fun meeting the crackpots. ronson is like a weedier theroux.

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 8 November 2004 10:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Jon Ronson's voice really bugs me. I will have to get the book!

― 3underscore (___), Monday, 8 November 2004 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree with stevem & triple underscore on both points! (apart from the book is already in my possession!)

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Monday, 8 November 2004 10:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I really want Jon Ronson to tell us that it isn't duck season, it's RABBIT SEASON.

Pink, who's the publisher of the book again?

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:15 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0330375474/qid=1099913306/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/026-3230363-5394833

― Davel (Davel), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Suzy - I actually have the book 'Them' not 'The men that stare at goats' my mistake. Had no idea who the publisher is, but looking at amazon 'Them' is published by 'Simon & Schuster' & 'The men who stare at goats' is published by 'Picador'!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:25 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post obviously!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Pink, is that the copy of the book that I leant to James a couple of years ago?

― Davel (Davel), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:27 (twenty-one years ago)

busted

― Ed (dali), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Er, no!!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

It was just about the right level of weirdness for my hangover on Sunday evening. I mean, sure, cheap thrills, making fun of "omhigod, top brass in the military total whackadoos" and sometimes it was a bit more Bill Burroughs than X Files, but still. Enjoyable.

I mean, hippie soldiers gone bad. Who would have thunk it?

If only they could have worked a Templar reference in to the First Earth Battalion Warrior Monk thing, then it would have been the best thing ever.

(That hamster looked like it was asleep, though. Or copulating. "Ohmigod, look, the one hamster is on top of the other!!!" Errr... I don't think he's dead for some reason.)

― Masonic Laundry Boom (kate), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Pink, is that the copy of the book that I leant to James a couple of years ago?

nope that got destroyed by the Bilderberg group

― james (james), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:40 (twenty-one years ago)

"Them" was just about the greatest thing ever. I wanted to buy a copy for all my conspiracy theory nutjob friends.

― Masonic Laundry Boom (kate), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

also, ronson could've BLOWN HIS NOSE before he'd done the voice-over, he's not normally *that* adenoidal is he?

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

It was coz that army bloke beat him up with the Predator and whacked his adeniods all out of line by applying pressure to his throat chakra.

Or, erm, something.

It looked like he was beating the shit out of Ronson with a giant bottle opener. Now that is humiliating.

― Masonic Laundry Boom (kate), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I also like the "sure, I can kill a hamster with my mind...uh, leave the room for a minute - you bleeding hearts will misuse this". Also -Stop picking on Jon!

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Adenoidal, yes. WABBIT SEASON never ends in Ronsonland.

The Predator looked like a giant IUD. Possibility for humiliation of 'prey' because it looks like birth control and not a gun, because we know the gun-shape in our marrow and also you have to repeatedly and lightly cuff the person about the head to use it.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

what's an IUD? it reminded me of those things you use to make stencils or spirographs. "did you know that there's a direct correlation between the decline of Spirograph and the rise in gang activity? Think about it."

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.channel4.com/science/microsites/M/moon/images/jonronson.jpg

How can you make fun of this? (actually, I've realised he looks a bit like me, only I'm bigger. This throws my boy-crush into whole new levels of oddness)

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 8 November 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Heh, Jon Ronson was my first-ever celebrity 'crush' (when he was writing the Human Zoo column in the Guardian). He looks a bit old now, though.

(I missed the programme so I have nothing of any interest to add.)

― emil.y (emil.y), Monday, 8 November 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

IUQ = Intrauterine device. Once inserted in womb, it nysteriously stops implantation of zygotes. Made of copper, springy, sometimes in the shape of a 7.

― RickyT (RickyT), Monday, 8 November 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Kevin - I have no problem with Jon Ronson's appearance, just his nasal whine.

― 3underscore (___), Monday, 8 November 2004 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

All part of the charm, as I expressed in the unimpeachable UK thread.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 8 November 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a few BAD, BAD MAN stories about JR but will not be drawn here. Maybe at the pub if you are good.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 8 November 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

IUQ = measures one's level of ability to stick a springy piece of metal up one's fanny?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 8 November 2004 12:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Kevin - I have been and checked. I agree with jed on this one (which is becoming alarmingly common).

― 3underscore (___), Monday, 8 November 2004 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

That's a cryptic statement. Or I'm just stupid. Either way, I don't understand.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 8 November 2004 12:15 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX is all about being cryptic today. The sticky brown fox will fly at midnight. ::lays finger aside nose:: I could tell you more, but the anti-hunting liberal bleeding hearts would misuse it.

― Masonic Laundry Boom (kate), Monday, 8 November 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Kevin - jed is one of the few people I actually know personally on ILX. Other than the fact he likes Junior Boys, and I think they are lightweight electro crap myself, we seem to agree on a worryingly regular basis.

In this point, that the whine is more an annoyance than a feature, and was like nails on a blackboard to me.

― 3underscore (___), Monday, 8 November 2004 12:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, OK.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Monday, 8 November 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

crazy ruler

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Monday, 8 November 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

"Pink, is that the copy of the book that I leant to James a couple of years ago?

nope that got destroyed by the Bilderberg group"

Was it burned inside the wicker owl?

― Davel (Davel), Monday, 8 November 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Was it burned inside the wicker owl?

Nope Omar Bakri did done it

― james (james), Monday, 8 November 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

http://arcturus.org/manual_cover.gif

The front cover of the military manual of the first earth battalion.

A PDF of the Manual, from the website of the 'action-consultancy' of the hippy lieutenant colonel.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 07:54 (twenty-one years ago)

That front cover makes me think: "First Earth Battalion: The World's First LARPers!"

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 07:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I know what I'm reading at work today. (I lack management at the moment)

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 07:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Demonstrate goat-killing skeez at next FAP pls.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 11:01 (twenty-one years ago)

pls supply goat pls

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 11:49 (twenty-one years ago)

There's that hairy barman with the risible rattail at the Glasshouse...?

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Tuesday, 9 November 2004 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

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