overhearing stuff that you wish you hadn't

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so my mate is around at mine last night, were sitting on my bed playing PES and his girlfriend rings. They were chatting, I wasn't paying any attention, but it was hard to avoid becasue my head was right next to the phone, then she says "i've got some new condoms we can try later on" I really wasn't evesdropping, that was the only bit I heard. Mortifying, any similar experiences?

― lukey (Lukey G), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 10:25 (twenty years ago)

I overheared once

"Yeh, no Wednesday is my conjugals night"

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 10:27 (twenty years ago)

When I was about 14 - my mum on the phone to a friend of hers, sounding upset:

"He never goes out. He hasn't got any friends"

Not sure if she was talking about me or my dad, but either way.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 10:40 (twenty years ago)

That their relationship has got to the point where a change of condom is excitement is the most depressing thing.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 10:59 (twenty years ago)

well using the same one all the time gets old quick, you know?

― debden, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 11:01 (twenty years ago)

Alba I had a bit of a similar thing, my grandma was trying to set up a playdate for me during a long summer I spent on Cape Cod aged 15 or so, and while on the phone said "has your son's voice dropped yet? My gandson's hasn't and he is very clumsy so we can't do anything too taxing."

― lukey (Lukey G), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 11:02 (twenty years ago)

I did have friends, by the way. I just err... didn't see them outside school very much.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 11:05 (twenty years ago)

I remember coming into work very early after I had given my two weeks notice, and I overheard my boss ridiculing me for leaving to another employee. She was the reason I was quitting to begin with, but I wish I had confronted her and let her know I had overheard her.

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 15:44 (twenty years ago)

I walked by two ambiguously heteosexual dudes in my office as one mentioned something about 'glory holes' and other suggestive things. I couldnt tell if they were trying to trick me or not.

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:53 (twenty years ago)

You mean, trick you into going "Ooh! What's a 'glory hole' - sounds fun. Can I try?"

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:55 (twenty years ago)

"Do you have to sing "Land of hope and glory" while using one?"

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:57 (twenty years ago)

In classy places you get to sing Portishead's 'Glory Box'.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:59 (twenty years ago)

Hmm... I may be confusing classy with lesbian again.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 16:59 (twenty years ago)

my 400 pound friend getting a blowjob in college.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:01 (twenty years ago)

It's your own fault for not soundproofing your glory hole.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:03 (twenty years ago)

Scenario: works fireworks display with alcohol.

g/f or boss:My hands are cold
Boss: I've got something you can wrap them round to keep them warm.
me: !!!! *vomit*

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:03 (twenty years ago)

I heard a friend of mine having sex once, and it traumatized me for months. Still, in my head, I can hear those noises. Terrible, terrible noises.

― planescapin' 'til dawn (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:03 (twenty years ago)

Pink - he probably just meant one of those little hand warmers.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:05 (twenty years ago)

but I wish I had confronted her and let her know I had overheard her.
If you were quitting why didn't you? You shoulda torn a strip outta her! RELEASE THE BEAST FROM WITHIN!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:05 (twenty years ago)

Pink - he probably just meant one of those little hand warmers.
Heh! I wish!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:06 (twenty years ago)

*please* describe them.

― piscesboy, Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:08 (twenty years ago)

When I was twelve, I overheard my dad on the phone with a woman he was having an affair with. I told my mom and then my parents got divorced. I blame being really fucked up in the head on this sequence of events.

― Ian John50n (orion), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 17:10 (twenty years ago)

Back in my first year of college I overheard my first-year roommate shagging his new girlfriend. They had come in late and, thinking I was asleep, proceeded to get down.
I just kept my eyes shut and waited for them to be done. It wasn't so much horrifying as simply un-classy.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 19:49 (twenty years ago)

I don't often have a problem with overhearing stuff I wish I hadn't; I more have a problem with friends and family members blatantly telling me things that I really had no interest in ever knowing about them.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 23:06 (twenty years ago)

Me too, Ally. My mom is queen of this. She'll start telling me all about the operation her friend had, the cat's bowel movements, who's sleeping with who or whatever, and then as I try to stick my fingers in my ears and walk away, she'll yell out OH BY THE WAY YOUR FATHER ISN'T CIRCUMSIZED!

Yeah. Thanks Mom.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 23:08 (twenty years ago)

When I was 16 I overheard my mom talking to my grandmother: "I just don't see how any boy will ever have the guts to approach her. She just has this AURA of DISDAIN."

― sgs (sgs), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 23:14 (twenty years ago)

I've never heard my parents say anything bad, thank god, though I do imagine them doing so, sometimes, and wonder what they might say.

I caught one of my friends rolling his eyes snidely at a party a while ago when I was telling another one of our friends a story. He looked at her and it actually was extremely nasty, especially cos he's extremely self righteous and would consider himself the best friend in the world.

I think it gets up his ass majorly that the friend we were talking to apparently has a crush on me, or at least even likes me, when he'd expect her, as a fellow member of the local society for catholic values, to hate me or think I was a waster.

I really think about this kind of moral deficiency/self righteousness/conservatism divide OBSESSIVELY these days but anyhow, that's what happens when friends begin to become taxpayers or in fact "taxpayers".

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 10 November 2004 23:31 (twenty years ago)

Can't she have a crush on you whilst also thinking you're a waster? There's no logic to crushing, after all.

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 11 November 2004 07:53 (twenty years ago)

Ally and Luna mad otm. I still get shudders when i recall one parent describing the other's lack of sexual prowess. Oh God now I've got the shudders again...

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 11 November 2004 08:38 (twenty years ago)

I remember my dad crying (literally) to my mom one night about how she wouldn't have sex with him (he was pretty fat and I guess it hurt too much or something) and she came to me and asked me if I thought he was right. Would've been ok if I hadn't been 15 at the time.

― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, 11 November 2004 08:43 (twenty years ago)

My parents are Minnesotans. They do not talk about themselves as sexual beings. My mom cannot identify why she ever wanted to marry my dad in the first place.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 11 November 2004 09:40 (twenty years ago)

I guess she probably can Caitlin. I don't know.

― Ronan (Ronan), Thursday, 11 November 2004 15:04 (twenty years ago)

I had this roommate in college, and his girlfriend was this little tiny wispy thing who was really quiet, but one time I came home and I don't know what he had done but she was totally going off on him, just yelling and totally giving him hell. But I wouldn't say I wish I hadn't overheard that, because it was kind of funny.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 11 November 2004 15:11 (twenty years ago)

Bryan - that is completely fucked up.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 11 November 2004 15:33 (twenty years ago)

paunchy middle aged guy talking to his friend while they were having a smoke outside the bar:

'She wanted to go to this shop and another shop and another shop then after that. We must have went to six bloody shops by the end of it. I was fucking broke! After that, I decided that I am allergic to women!'

― Michael B, Thursday, 11 November 2004 16:08 (twenty years ago)

hearing my dad go at it with his second wife: NOT GOOD

hearing my dad say in a drunken rage, earlier, when still married to my mother, "If I had any guts I'd take this knife and cut my own throat": DOUBLE-PLUS UNGOOD

(he moved out that weekend)

― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 11 November 2004 16:34 (twenty years ago)

Hearing my old roommate K@trina's just ex-boyfriend confront her in the courtyard of our dorm and throw her up against the brick wall calling her a whore as she yelled "Get off me you bastard you fucking bastard" Fortunately someone walking by intervened and helped her just as I was calling the police.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 11 November 2004 16:42 (twenty years ago)

WTF is up with people who can't keep their mouths shut at work? Go have coffee with your buddy if you want to trash-talk someone, or proclaim your politics.

― k3rry (dymaxia), Thursday, 11 November 2004 16:49 (twenty years ago)

My housemate getting a blowjob from a man who looked like fat Gandhi (he drove over to our house wearing nothing but big, saggy, greying pants (UK) and flipflops)

― Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 11 November 2004 16:54 (twenty years ago)

Michael - that's a great overheard line! Why do you wish you's never heard it?

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 11 November 2004 17:20 (twenty years ago)

The overhearing worked out well for her then, if not for you.

My parents have a tendency to talk about my brother quite a lot. Once we were at a family party with my father's dreadful sisters and they were telling a story about being at some comedy festival and all the people they met, and my father's sister said in a stage whisper 'how much longer are we going to have to listen to this shite?' My father was really annoyed, and he had a big row with them and we left.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 11 November 2004 17:42 (twenty years ago)

I was visiting a friend for a weekend the other day, and sleeping in her room. In the middle of the night I woke up to her having a conversation on the phone with a guy she's seeing/fucking at the moment. I just lay still trying to ignore it and go back to sleep, but I couldn't help but overhearing a part that went something like this:

Him: So you wanna come over?
Her: No, I can't, my friend's here.
- What's she like? Is she hot?
- Nah, I don't know.
- So, is she like, a minger (this means 'ugly', right?)
- *tee hee* I don't know! (Implying yes)
- No, really, what's she like?
- Stop asking me! I can't tell, I'm a girl. Why are you even interested?
- (Jokingly) Do you think she'd be into, you know, a threesome.
- Ha ha! She's not that kind of girl.
- What do you mean? Is she a virgin?
- Well, I'm not sure, she hasn't really told me. But I think so.

This made me feel really bad. I'm not sure why really. I don't care too much about her not thinking I'm pretty or whatever (she's got awful taste anyway), but talking about me, who she's known since childhood, like that to a guy she's known for a week, just seems so disrespectful.

― jasiska, Thursday, 11 November 2004 20:18 (twenty years ago)

Was she talking on a speakerphone?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 11 November 2004 20:31 (twenty years ago)

big, saggy, greying pants (UK)

I think I still have some of their early import singles.

I never heard my parents fight, ever. Then one night a week or two before Christmas, I heard my mom talking to my dad in the living room in a really angry voice--something about wanting to keep her own money. The tone alone struck me as totally alien and wrong and omnious--real hate. They told me they were splitting up right after Christmas. I was 12.

― Formerly Lee G (Formerly Lee G), Thursday, 11 November 2004 20:41 (twenty years ago)

The first time I overheard my parents fighting was right before they told us they were divorcing, too! I was also 12 or 13 (I must have been 13, Bush had been elected), and the argument took place while we were on a family vacation in D.C., and they told us they were getting divorced the day we got home.

I wonder if it's really the first fight I overheard or if it's simply the only one I remembered.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 11 November 2004 20:43 (twenty years ago)

Why do families always seem to fight on vacation? I remember overhearing my mom yelling "Well maybe if I was Catholic would it make your parents like me?" in a hotel room in Cleveland when I was 11 and not understanding what being Catholic had to do with it.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 11 November 2004 20:50 (twenty years ago)

Pleasant Plains:
No, but it was a loud phone in an otherwise dead quiet room, and I could also guess quite a lot of what the guy was saying by my friend's replies.

My parents have always had fights right in front of me. When I complained about it when I was younger they alwyas said that couples who seldom fight never stick together. I wonder if this is true.

― jasiska, Thursday, 11 November 2004 20:56 (twenty years ago)

The whole overheard-fight/divorce thing sucked, and continued to suck for years, but it has since occurred to me that it was probably good that I had a little warning, disturbing as it was, before they dropped the bomb. Twelve-year-olds shouldn't have heart attacks.

― Formerly Lee G (Formerly Lee G), Thursday, 11 November 2004 21:04 (twenty years ago)

On a more positive note our next door neighbours had an absolutely hilarious fight the other morning, as they tend to most weekend mornings. Threats were made, abuse hurled, doors slammed (it worried me the first time I heard them, but happens so regularly that I don't worry any more, and often shout along encouragingly). This was all well and good until we heard the makeup sex. It was not an image I wanted.

multiple x-posts jasiska that is incredibly disrespectful on your house-mates part. My sympathy.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 11 November 2004 21:04 (twenty years ago)

Oh god, I was ALWAYS hearing my parents fight, it was a major feature of my life! They'd try to conceal it so you'd hear them behind closed doors, the muffled deep dad-voice and the higher frantic mom-voice. Ugh.

Note that they are still together after about 45 years of marriage, so I guess they enjoyed it!

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Thursday, 11 November 2004 23:53 (twenty years ago)

The arguments on vacation thing: based on having done it myself, unfortunately, I think it's like those deep-sea fish that explode when there isn't enough pressure, or Bronson Pinchot in the Langoliers -- once you have room to breathe, sometimes you just exhale whatever you've been holding. You're out of the routine that keeps you busy, away from the distractions you've focused on to avoid the fights or whatever, and so while one reason for the vacation is probably to try to relax, relaxation often means or requires venting.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 11 November 2004 23:57 (twenty years ago)

Plus, what's OK most of the time becomes unbearable when you're inside a car for 12 hours!

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Friday, 12 November 2004 00:14 (twenty years ago)

After my grandma and grandpa split up, she and her sister would call my grandpa Ef Are Ay Non Kan (frank) so my 3yr old mom and her little sister wouldn't understand who they were talking shit about

― JaXoN (JasonD), Friday, 12 November 2004 00:23 (twenty years ago)

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