list in chornological order the first few (or all) people whom you have fancied in your life

"if you buy me four vodkas I will marry you"

xpost, steve you're just scared you'll be on there

I have really summed myself there.

Ages ca. 14-21 and beyond: one JW. Loved him since we started high school and had pangs of interest before then. Most important crush of all (roxy-)time. His hands looked carved from clay. Just nice. Just a nice guy who was my friend, and all my friends' friend. I still think about him, and as late as last year when people mentioned his name my stomach would go BABAM KID YOU STILL FEEL SOMETHING. Later on he told me he had a massive crush on me in high school and why didn't we ever date, etc. Worst.

Actually, I think I'm done here.

1975. Miss Nagle. Third grade teacher. She possessed a certain je ne said quois that I was enchanted by even as an eight year old. Where is she today, I wonder?

1977. Miss Ellins. Fifth grade Science teacher. Alluring New Zealand accent. Gorgeous. Dressed as a saucy French maid at the faculty play. Struth!

1981. Christina Fiore & Nelly Scuitto. They were senior girls. I was a lowly freshman. I'd met the former with my older sister down at my grandparents' place not but a year before. She was unspeakably perfect. She's now married to someone involved in a Beer dynasty and has nineteen or so children. No idea what happened to her pal, Nelly. She was lovely as well.

C.W.: So evil, so leather, so before my time.

W.O.T.H.: I loved you for more than just your space triceratops.

Babysitter: It made me sad when your less slutty sister took your place.

back then i thought it was best to seperate love and making out.

1st grade: A little girl named Crystal. She had very long hair, like Crystal Gayle.

2nd-3rd grade: Juli3 H4tton. A tall drink of water. Broad shoulders. Could kick your ass, but much preferred to be a smart-ass to you. Hott.

4th grade: The Bionic Woman.

5th-6th grade: Miche11e Bi11ings. Tiny thing, dark skin, big brown eyes. The most adorable thin, wispy dark arm hair. I longed for her touch.

7th-9th grade: I don't remember. I think I may have been under too much persecution to have crushes.

10th grade: Kenda11 Greene. Enormous ass, way before that was cool. Kinda granola, but with a short bob haircut that perfectly framed her round face.

11th grade: V1j1. Lovely indian girl. My fascination with dark, wispy body hair continues. Her vagina tasted of spice. Strangely, neither of us could ever find her clitoris. We broke out medical textbooks and everything. I still wonder sometimes where it went.

12th grade: Senior year was all about Britt4ny. The skinniest little white girl you ever did see. We would go to the beach, smoke pot, and fuck in the car. It was uncomfortable.

And now that we're out of grade school, I think I'll stop.

The second boy I really liked was Dan McV1cker, in 7th grade, and he was a gigantic NERD but I thought he was so smart and clever and he could play piano and he was WAY grown up for a 13 year old, like he was tall and had a great booming voice. I wrote about him in my diary every night for like 8 months, and I remember when he signed my yearbook at the end of the year he put his PHONE NUMBER under his signature and I spent the whole summer thinking about WHAT IT MEANT!! The next year his family moved away, but later, when I was 18 or 19 he moved back to town and he became roommates with a friend of mine. He wasn't as cool as I remembered and just seemed to be into annoying dude stuff like playstation and kung-fu and he was on the Atkins diet and wrote really annoying short stories about the Matrix. But anyway, we made one night one time, and the next day I came over to he and his friends house (I was really good friends with his roommate) and he blurted out "Man, Mandee, I was SOOO in love with you in 7th grade." I felt my 13 year old self cry out in frustration.

The third boy I really liked was Nathan Wa1ter, who was like a sk8tr d00d, I was 14 years old. He and I talked about music a lot. But then one day he said I reminded him of his sister. Total bummer, man. We started a short-lived band with these girls named Lisa and Paige. We probably lasted 2 or 3 hours. The girl, Lisa, said to me, OMG MANDEE Nathan totally luvs you! I said NUH UH. A few weeks later there was a big SCHOOL DANCE affair-thing and Nathan's best friend walked up to me and said, "HEY, do you like NATHAN?" and I said, a little too loudly, "GOD, NO!!!" and then the dude said, "Oh.. well he wants you to be his girlfriend." Okay so after that we weren't really friends. Man oh man :(

The fourth boy I REALLY liked was Pierre-JEAN the FRENCH exchange student my senior year of high school. I think in a really annoying way I thought 'HA, I AM TOO MATURE FOR HIGH SCHOOL' and I kinda liked this dude beccause he was 1) Foreign and 2) OLDER (19, old man river!) I was totally smitten with him. Everytime I saw him my stomach would drop. We ended up hanging out quite a bit. I remember one time I went over to his house and we watched "The Full Monty" with him and another friend of his... and then it came out that they were getting ready for DATES later that night! I felt awful and ugly. I then learned that Pierre-Jean had a big crush on this other german exchange student. But he and I ended up going to prom together and I think I decided I didn't like him after that night. We were in the car together, and he said what he liked about me is that I didn't bang on about personal details about myself, that that was what he disliked most about Americans, and that he thought I was the most intelligent girl he'd ever met. I think we hung out one other time, and then he went back to France.

:' (

For some reason I didn't have Mark down as the jealous type!

a!isa madden (6)
co11een no1an (7-9)
b3cky t0wer (7-9)
melanie ? (8 - 11)
1aur3n hath4way (10-14)
ad4m h4thaway (10-14)
sy1via sch4rf (13, briefly)
p3te f3rmanick (14, briefly)
sh4nnon windu5 (14, till we made out)

WHY

http://www.rochester.edu/pr/Currents/V30/V30N21/story05.html

fine, off the top of my head here's a little titration of middle and high school in no particular order:

g3orgia j3ffries
k1rst3n mcc4rthy
l1z beach3m
tahl1a paynt3r (MIDDLE SCHOOL)
that boy who was on the middle school swim team with me
c4ther1ne bel4air
shann0n w1ndus
l. mart1n al3xander (FUCKING TOSI STOLE HER FROM ME, AFTER A TEMPESTUOUS NIGHT AT THE B1LLINGSZ HOUS!)
je55ica br0wn
sh3p skiff
naom1 sl1pp
kat1e wa11ick
lun3d p4lmer

7 - Shaun Cassidy. He was so CUTE. My sister liked Leif Garrett, but I knew she was wrong.

10 - MM. He was my friend Chrissy's boyfriend, but after they broke up, she decided I should be his girlfriend. I said okay, but when he told me he wanted to kiss me, I ran away and hid in the bathrooms at the cricket oval. We went to different schools, but sometimes when I was on the bus on the way home, I would see him walking home and he would yell out I LOVE YOU. I actually only met the kid about 3 times.

15 - BK. I met him on the first day of German class during my junior year - thought he was wonderful, he had amazing green eyes, laughed at my jokes and thought I was smart. Dated off and on for about 8 years. He was there for me at a time when not many people were, and I'll always love him for that.

17 - PJ. He looked like Warren Beatty. He was 35. Scandal.

19 - C. I worked with him - he was just adorable. He was going to New Zealand later that summer, so we had lots to talk about and he was endlessly impressed that not only was my mum a Kiwi, but I had lived in NZ, too.

20 - CL - son of a semi famous old actor, he was sweet and charming, though a raging alcoholic. Hel-LO whiskey dick. He used to take me out, then get too drunk to drive me home, so I'd fall asleep on the couch after he passed out and he'd make me breakfast in the morning. His cat used to shit on the bathroom rug whenever I stayed over.

I'm too disillusioned with my romantic history to continue.

(xpost to Jon)

[that boy who was on the middle school swim team with me - N?] ... no, he was a year ahead of me, two ahead of you, and he really liked phish. II think his name was Tr3vor. Anyway, he had a haircut like Eddie Furlong, and a six-pack, which I admired, and he was nice to me when I was really, really tubby and annoying.

last half of the school year, 1989: SG, who I liked, wrote me a note telling me she liked me. As, at this point, I was still constantly made fun of by everyone, I assumed it was a joke, and told her I didn't think it was funny. She cried. I felt like shit. Years later, I saw her again, and wanted to try things again, but by then she was MARRIED already. (requited, but ruined by dumbassocity)

the entire 90 school year: there were two big 'uns this year; one, SA, I fell in love with the moment I heard her utter the word 'Fishbone', who hated me, the other, JV, was an uber-preppy uber-perky blonde goofball, for whom the publicizing of my feelings towards by fellow classmate AR was met with a 7th-grade-wide Nelson Muntz-esque "HA HA". (unrequited as shit)

music class 91: short-haired cutie JL, who was one-third of my 'Mary Had A Little Lamb' recorder trio (unrequited, or so I thought, and painfully discovered otherwise later)

summer of 92: a slightly nerdy beauty named MBS who was visiting from TN where she had apparently blown up her kitchen with bottle rockets (requited hurray)

winter of 93: AS from my Latin class who had a prosthetic leg and the best sense of humor ever (unrequited)

summerschool, 93: VS, a hilarious weirdo black girl who sat behind me, she initiated a note-based conversation midway through the day to let me know how cool she thought it was that we both had the exact same Army surplus jacket. We only kissed once, and I could never find her again after that. (requited, but sad)

1994, Groundhog's Day: I met MH, the first person I ever fell in love with. After we broke up, she got engaged to some asshat Marine dude that was like 4 years older than her, and a jackass. Heart broken TWICE. (requited like WOAH)

the whole 95 school year: one of my closest friends at the time, ridiculously smart virginal soccer hottie AW, who blushed very readily, hence my friend Josh initiating what was probably the most inappropriate, hilarious nickname ever..."BUTTSEX" (unrequited)

1996: Googlability be damned, I have to type out the entire name of this girl I had a massive uber-crush on my senior year, because it was such a cool name: CERESSIA SANDOVAL. The first time I ever got high was at her crib. Also that year: SR, the sweetest Russian foreign exchange student one could ever hope to meet, GL, a totally goth girl who had previously gone to a private school in West Virginia, MC, a younger girl who made me feel like I was a big evil scary person. (unrequited, somewhat requited, completely requited but ruined by her family's prompt move back to WV, requited but ruined by my being a dumbass)

I will leave the post-high-school years til some other time. This has been fun.

4th grade: d4nny 4d4m50n. such a nerd. super skinny, blond bowl cut. dorky glasses. he won the spelling bee.

5th grade: d4nny 5u11iv4n. he said i was funny one time so i liked him. i think he meant funny looking. his dad had a lot of money and looked like newt gingrich.

6th grade: tr4v1s br00k5. i don't know what i saw in him. i remember he had a girlfriend and they broke up after fighting over a cd.

7th grade: 44r0n 5h4rp3. he was really tall but i think in 6th grade he was like 15 years old. he punched me in the face and gave me a black eye and things were awkward on the school bus after that.

8th grade: br4d ch3v4l13r. i don't remember much except i think he liked me and i was too shy to do anything about it.

11th grade: kid with weird jewish name. was stolen by my then-friend k4r3n s4l3rn1. she was a psycho and now she is a big lesbian. good thing nothing ever happened because he likes dave matthews.

12th grade: d0n0v4n cl3v3l4nd. sat next to me in calculus, always smelled like pot, always slept through every class. really hot, skinny, nice teeth. i talked to him about 2 times. he never talked to anybody. i think something was a little bit wrong with him.

stop there. i never kissed anybody i liked in grade school.

xpost

The dude who mowed the lawn. I wrote him a love letter and actually gave it to him with a little purple flower I picked from my yard. He let me kiss him on the cheek. It was stubbly.

Lots of older girls. I had a make-believe harem of them.

I was really sad when I was told I'd be switching preschools. At my second year of preschool, I was in love love love with this blonde curly-haired boy named Chad. He was a huge snob from a rich family, but I didn't know that at the time. We took horseback riding lessons together. He owned his own stallion, even though he was still too little to ride it.

Most of early elementary school, I had crushes on guys in my sunday school, especially the ones that got in trouble. I figured it was ok because they were christians. We would get married one days and have babies for Jesus.

I had so many crushes, it's ridiculous. I could never remember them all.

My first celebrity crush was Danny from Who's the B0ss. He ended up being gay.

I had my first sexual dream about this guy in second grade named R0bbie. He was the shortest guy in the class, but very popular. In my dream, he was looking under my dress. I didn't understand it at the time, but it made me even more shy around him.

* According to a Disney channel article on him. I actually didn't watch Who's the Boss. I should have mentioned that, I guess. I just saw his glamour shot in a kids magazine, ripped it out, and put it up on my wall.

aged 11/12, t., she was quite smart-assed and funny, I think, also I was quite (or more) geeky in primary school and she was quite popular but she used to flirt with me alot, possibly to make me squirm which I probably did like an obedient puppy. (very little has changed since then) anyway I remember telling her friend I fancied her, thinking in some 12 year old way "the right thing to do when you fancy someone is to just say so! why mess about!". also I assumed her friend knew already, but she didn't and she made a big fuss about it. it wasn't that embarassing I guess, I think maybe she did kinda like me, nothing happened anyway. I see her around sometimes still, I don't fancy her anymore at all.

aged 13-S, she was extremely hot, and ended up being my first kiss, at my friends sisters birthday party. it was a fairly big coup for me. I remember his older brothers friends were in the house at the time and just after I kissed her they all were making a big deal about it, I felt grown up and all.

I saw her last year, she doesn't live nearby anymore, but I was coming out of the bank where I worked and she walked up the street, and to her credit she gave me a big smile and said "hi". I think if I saw her more I'd definitely fancy her. In fact as I always say, it's all been downhill from there.

aged 15/16: Louise, a girl I met on the middle class family holiday in France. She was from Jersey and stunningly good looking, I remember older sleazy guys trying it on with her, like 24 year olds, she was like a model. I was young and stupid and when I found out she fancied me too I probably was way too obviously interested, we hooked up for a few nights, and I was absolutely smashed to pieces by her and even moreso when she decided not to continue our holiday relationship, she said because she had a boyfriend back home, but I also suspected because I was so ott at the time. I was crushed and probably thought about her all winter, it wrecked the holiday. I even remember the only tape in my uncles car being rod stewart's greatest hits and now whenever I hear Rod Stewart I well up. (not really, I just like some of the songs now, and sing them in the shower)

aged 17-J.N.-met her at a party, talked all night, she flirted alot and gave me a kiss on the lips when she was going. nothing really came of it from there, she started going out with someone else, I was really interested for a while but it faded. I still am sort of good friends with her and I still think she fancies me, which may be sad or true, or both. Last week I saw her and she was hugging me and stuff, and I thought there was a thing there. maybe someday, she is a non serious crush now I guess, still I owe it to my 17 year old long haired indie self to at least try.

aged 18-UM-both fancied each other at the beginning, obviously, hooked up a few times and then she got cold on the idea, colder than me. long protracted series of one off snogs ended when she started going out with a friend of mine. I was glad to have a reason to stop moping to be honest.

I am not going to describe any crushes beyond 18, since I'm 21 and the next ones are probably all current. this was very therapeutic.

Daycare: I remember having a crush on this blonde girl. The guys at the daycare set up a mock wedding for us, my mom still has pictures of it.

Kindergarten: I had a crush on my kindegarten teacher, I used to greet her by kissing her hand, I'd read from books that people do so.

Lower elementary school (1st to 3rd grade): my friend asked me if I knew what homosexuals were. I didn't. He told me they were guys who rub their penises against each other. I said, cool, why don't we try it? We did. It felt good. Can't remember having that many girl crushes back then.

(To be continued...)

-- Alba

I've thought about this, and I really can't tell whether Alba is being facetious here or not.

I like this thread, I think it's sweet that lots of people remember the names of the kids they fancied when they were kids. I guess you all will never know whether I do or not ;)

3rd grade: J!ll Sz0stak (She's the one I wrote the romantic fantasy about, as mentioned in the childhood obsessions thread.)

4th grade: Chr!ssy Mav3rick (I decided I liked her while sitting next to her in front of a campfire on a three-day field trip my class took. I still have some blurry photos of her from that trip. My increasingly chubby body and ALF For President t-shirt probably weren't doing me any favors.) (Oh wait, also: L!sa Mack3nzie -- I think was her name -- who was in 2nd grade, sheesh, and friends with my neighbor Bridget.)

5th grade: Chr!sty Palm3r (I even went so far as to buy her some tacky piece of jewelry for Christmas, which caused a bit of a problem with P3ter Ros3ngren, who also had his eyes on her. My friend George suggested we settle the dispute with a snowball fight on the playground at 4 PM, but it never transpired -- I called Peter to tell him my parents wouldn't let me go, he said the same.)

6th grade: A couple of small ones -- Andr3a C0nsalvo (who sat in front of me in gym class) and (I literally JUST remembered this:) Juli3 Wilk3y, who I remember liking because she was cute but also because she seemed to keep up with the boys, wasn't intimidated by them, etc. (I think she was the first girl I ever heard use the word "dick" in casual conversation.)

7th grade: L!sa Gr0ver (So I had this dream in the middle of seventh grade in which I kissed a black girl in the school boiler room, and for the subsequent three years, I was mostly attracted to African Americans. She was the first among them, a 6th-grade girl who rode on my bus route.)

8th grade: Dani3lle Th0mas (The second. I sent her a Valentine on Feb. 14 in which I quoted some Yeats poem, as found in Bartlett's Quotations, theme: love, and then mustered up the courage to call her that night to see if she got it. It was an awkward conversation. She said the quote sounded familiar and thought it was from All My Children. Later in the year she dated P3ter Ros3ngren, who was nearing 6'0" by then -- convinced she only liked tall guys, I propped myself up on several textbooks one day in English class. It didn't work. She went to Spelman College, have no idea what happened after that.)

9th grade: St@cie Fr33man (The third. She was in my history class and was super-friendly. My friend Steve kept pressuring me to ask her out, but I never actually did until 10th grade, when we dated for several months, broke up, and continued as friends with benefits with the remainder of high school. I lost contact with her after college but have since heard she got married, which kinda weirds me out.) Also: Sh@nna Pr@naitis, who had short, brown pixie-ish hair and thus was probably the first girl to fit into what I later thought of as a "type." I tried to date her, but she seemed to have all these weird family issues and broke it off quickly. She ended up marrying a Colombian guy (who was a foreign-exchange student our senior year) and now teaches flute.

10th grade: M@rie Rutk0ski (A willowy, waifish sort, maybe a little goth-pixie. I liked her because she was a writer -- we started a short-lived writing club where we read each other's short stories -- and also because she seemed so cool and cynical. She was a year older. I broke up with St@cie because of my crush on M@rie, but it never materialized. I think I was too much in awe. She's now a Ph.D. candidate at Harvard.)

11th grade: Chr!s C@rley (A shy, skinny, sandy-haired sophomore boy who pretty much solidified my suspicions that I was bisexual. He was kind of a typical 90s alterna-kid who actually introduced me to Sonic Youth, Pavement, and Slint, among others. He also had a quiet, dry wit. We became friends, but keeping this crush under wraps caused me a lot of anguish. I finally confessed my senior year of h.s., which led to us fooling around in his bedroom once. Now: an anarchist pothead hobo with a scraggly beard.)

Lots of other small ones in high school, obviously -- these were the only ones I really obsessed over.

sophomore year in high-school - can't remember her name, green eyes and red hair, artsy drama student, two years older than I was, liked ska, saw her in town about a year ago, way less attractive than I recall

M.S.- off and on from junior year until a couple of years after graduation. Met her in 7th grade algebra, we spent the entire year cheating, grading each other's papers. We had crushes on each other at different times, were ultimately much better (and much worse) suited as close friends. Competitive in so many arenas, drove each other to drink large quantities, do loads of stupid things. She kind of broke my heart (actually I broke my own heart), I haven't seen her in a couple of years since we moved in separate directions (life-wise). I've been meaning to try and reconnect, but don't really know what to say about my dropping off the end of the Earth.

don't remember her name, first winter of college-age, curly hair, attended a Baptist university, basically the social opposite of the above girl (religious v. worldly). We went to a Counting Crows concert, God help me.

AP, same winter, girl who took me to her apartment twice and I didn't catch on, short, brunette, incredibly confident in her personality and abilities, we spent a lot of time bitching about humanity. More of a fancied in hindsight thing.

JY, went to school with her from junior high on, wallflower, quiet, nice, wanted to be an actress. Saw her last summer, suddenly has turned into a beautiful neo-flapper in style and dress. Attends a wacko-religious school in Kentucky because they gave her a full ride in drama.

That's up to last summer.

Lower elementary school (3rd to 6th grade): I guess this was the time you were supposed to "hate" girls of your age. The only crushes I had were on older celebrity women.

Upper elementary school (7th to 9th grade): In 7th or 8th grade I had a huge crush on M1rkka. She was petite and blonde; I was bullied a lot in those days, and she and her friend were always defending me, which I guess made me notice her. In 8th or 9th grade I also discovered R33tta. She had a long, brownish hair, a heart-shaped face, and she was always wearing a cardigan. We shared the same Math and Swedish classes, but I didn't talk much to her. I always imagined she was muy intelligente, because she didn't wear make-up nor dress up like the classroom bimbos, and she always seemed preoccupied with her own thoughts. I guess this is why I had a crush on her.

High school (10th to 12th grade): During this time I had lots and lots of crushes. My high school had a bunch of cool girls, and I also made lots of friends outside school. My biggest school crush was probably on [name removed], we were pretty much on the same wavelength, except that she was devout Christian, which caused some massive debates between us. I still see her occasionally. Outside school, I had a crush on Tu1kku, which was funny because she was über-irritating, and I always hated her. This was the first time I realized love and hate could go hand in hand. I also had my first guy crush on [name removed], and I ended up kissing him during a game of Truth or Dare. When I was 18 I met M1ska, my first real girlfriend, though the affair didn't last for long. She was from another school, we met at an outdoor boozing party. A friend of mine had a set of handcuffs with her, and she cuffed me and M1ska together for the evening, I don't know why. We ended up spending the night together.

Okay, I'm not going to go any further than this on my crush history...

I am not answering this question as it would take about seven hours.

(Age 11) R. He was a freckly obnouxious boy in my class. I didn’t tell anyone, but my girlfriends noticed I guess, and set up some kind of date in the playground after school one day. I went there but was too nervous to even speak. R threw a tennis ball at me.

(Age 13) J. New school, new people were added to my school class. J was one of them. He played sports and we had nothing in common. My friend fancied him for a while, then she stopped, and I took over. Nothing ever happened, except in my fantasy diary.

(Age 13/14) S. It seems all the people I crushed on at this stage were irritating and not interested in the same things I were. Don’t know why I fancied them, there must have been nicer boys around. S was the first boy I kissed, I think, maybe except for some truth-or-dare or other. We hung out for a few weeks. Once I was at his place and forgot the time, and my dad drove around his block looking for me yelling my name. I was very embarrassed. He lost interest after a while, I was heartbroken.

(Age 14-17) Too many to mention. But a few examples are:
G, my first real relationship, an absolutely darling person whom I hung out with on and off for a year, and after we finally broke up we remained best friends through highschool, haven’t seen each other for years now though.
T, boy mentioned in the ”I sent you love letters…”-thread.
M, was obsessed with Star Trek and had dyed black hair, I once snuck M in on a school night and my mum found him in my bed next morning and she hated him passionately after that. A couple of years later he was arrested for arson (true!).
G, a year younger than me, straight edge, very pretty, we made out once at a festival and then G stopped returning my calls.
L & E, the two only people I knew who were into the same kind of music and culture as I. I crushed on both of them on and off for a couple of years, kissed one of them once.
Then I met D, the first Big Love of my life, wonderful and very intelligent, probably one of the ppl who have influenced me most, very hairy. We met when I was 17, and were a couple for two years.

Stop there. (Only one of these is a girl.)

4-10 (aprox): Sundry brazilian soap characters. Worryingly, I always seemed to fall for the bitchy-but-not-evil-just-kinda-annoying type; I remember both of my big crushes got redeemed halfway through their respective series', tho.

5: J*ana M*deiros. For, like, five minutes. I had just come to the island from Germany and was living in a pretty isolated place and she was the only social contact I had. Her mother used to work a lot and not have much time for her: one time we came to pick her up and she was crying because she didn't wanna go and her mum had promised to go shopping with her instead, an offer that she had apparently backed out of. Not even my offer to play the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles board game could console her - well hey, I know when I'm not wanted. Our realtionship from thereon became muted, then semi-hostile after I had a falling out with the group she was in in grade sk00l (mostly my fault), then later we became more or less mates. Still saw her around every now and then until I moved to Oporto this year, we cool. She's with a guy now that she and I have known since pre-school, awww. :)

12-14: M*rlene C*rvalho. The big one. Fell for her during 7th grade (the most miserable sk00l year of my life), but didn't do anything about it because a) she was drop dead gorgeous and I was a misfit, and b) she hung out with the girls that used to beat me up. Brown skinned (almost mixed race looking), sexy, popular, TOTALLY out of my league. After a year or so we started to hang out a lot, I'd make her laugh every so often, but actually trying something still seemed absurd, so I just went the silent stalker way, trying to sit next to her at every class and such, much to her occasional annoyance. Tried asking her out a few times, more in a friendly way than anything, but nothing came of it (not so much because she didn't wanna but because, well, it's hard to ask girls out in S.Miguel, godamn family/neighbours/gossip problems.) This crush also coincided with my music geekdom's coming into full flower, so I have like twenty diferent songs to associate her with ("Walk Away, Renee" and "Everybody Knows Except You" are the big ones, but even years afterwards it would still happen that I'd listen to something like "Busby Berekly Dreams" and think of her.) Oh, and also, she read my first piece of erotic fiction, which I wrote in 7th grade, and liked it, even the lesbian parts (i.e. most of it.)

I met her again at the end of 12th grade, when I had this big party which was supposed to include evryone I'd ever known on the island. She didn't come to that, but we struck up contact, and for my last year of living in S.Miguel she was one of my best friends - when questioned on whether or not she knew that I had a crush on her back then, she said she couldn't remember (wtf!) Wonderful person, but in retrspect I'm kind of glad that I never went for it, probably would have ended in tears (haha, yes, like EVERY RELATIONSHIP EVER). She still reads my lesbian erotic fiction, though.

12-14: Rogue, out of the X-Men. I was totally ok with her being with Gambit, though (probably fancied him a bit, too*), it really hit me hard when they broke up. Also, I was reading the comics in portuguese, so when I first read them in english and saw that she had a southern accent I was quite outraged, this ain't the Rogue I know!

16-17: Katie Holmes/Joey Potter. Ah yes, the unfortunate period when I was a "Dawson's Creek" fan. Even hung around some teenybopper forum. Probably the blueprint for my "type", if I have one. Not even the knowledge that she was a cokehead in real life stopped me from going on and on and on AND ON about her to my ever-more-exasperated friends. Pacey, though, what an asshole.

16: S*lange. Probably the most lustful crush I've ever had - 10th grade, nu skool, she was hawt but a bit of an Ice Queen, too. Nothing beyond that, which made me see it as a Trivial Desire as opposed to the True Love that I had felt for Marlene. Used to try to walk home at the same time as her. Stood up for her against my insane geography teacher.

17-19: V*nessa. First non-classmate/actress/fictional character crush. We met at a party, she was loaded and seemed to be flirting with me. Lots of txt messages, fo' sho'. We did end up going to the movies once ("Intolerable Cruelty", bah), but it took like YEARS for even that to happen, and when I tried to invite her again she said she couldn't go. We weren't very compatible personality-wise anyway, and I was leaving the island soon, so meh.

17-present: Willow Rosenberg/Alysson Hannigan *swoon*

18-19: F*lipa (I called her "Flipper", haw!) Sophisticated Lisbon girl, actively engaged with far-left party, comes to the Azores and my class. "Hooray!" I think "finally someone who will be able to appreciate my subtle wit and useless book knowledge." Fat chance, her reaction to me mostly moved between indifference and annoyance. Tried to ask her out once. Fuck communism.

1st grade - mrs. riley, native american first grade teacher. high cheekbones, big bangable ass.

10 years old - michelle, my neighbor. i used to make her get naked for me. mackin the neighborhood bitches at 10.

12 - julie, my first gf. she became my gf after the shuttle blew up. we never kissed or anything. she was my gf for 2 weeks.

13 - tanya, julie(again), another julie....mostly the popular girls that wouldn't give me the time of day at this point. julie pretty much ignored me. when we all went on a class trip to natures classroom, tanya and i hung out during "folk music" night. Some counselor played cat stevens to the group of kids. i think i had more of a crush on cat stevens at this point than tanya. she came over and hung out in my cabin..until someone yelled out "Moonie shit in the shower" and there it was the tird that ruined my chances. godamn moonie, i still make fun of him to this day for the tird.

14 - Julie again, first kiss this year on our class trip to DC. Fat Willie interupted us on the bus. I fingered her on the ride home for about 6 hours. My finger hurt. Julie is married now and has had eye cancer.

15 - 230 pounds of solid lovin my freshman yr, I looked like Jabba the hut. I had a crush on Andrea B. She was also heavy, but gorgeous. My friend told her I had a crush on her. Nothing ever came of it. Lots of crushes from 15-17 when I was heavy, but never lead to anything.

17 - got kicked out of school and got skinny. lots of crushes. first real relationship 17-18.

18 - lots of crushes

19 - college, tons of crushes mostly hippie girls with crazy bush and hairy legs.

21 - my wife.

Only seven? You're lucky.

All unrequited, except (4). Could've got somewhere with (3) one time, but she was so drunk that I thought it would be taking advantage. She once had a threesome with a pair of premier leauge footballers. (2) was captain of the netball team and waaaay out of my league, but that didn't stop me dreaming throughout my secondary school years. (1) broke my heart by moving to Brighton when I was nine. From time to time I check FriendsReunited to see if she's surfaced. (5) had absolutely no idea, which may explain the unrequited nature. (6) is now going out with a friend of mine, which I have to say is rather awkward.

Secondary school: Lewis (3 years my senior, cocky, lead role in school production), Luke (2 years my senior, cocky, lead role in school production) Jason (1 year my junior, cocky, lead role in school production), Wayne (lovely neck, used to try wangle it so I was sitting behind him in assembly just so I could gaze at it, in my class, 4-year crush)

Sixth form college: Riz (nice brown eyes), Toqir (big nose, cocky, most misguided crush EVER)

I didn't so much as get to hold hands with any of these fine specimens of manhood. Heck, I managed to be kissed by one bloke before I reached eighteen and that was something of a surprise in itself.

miss russell
miss walker
caroline
georgina (ha, and i got you 15 years later)
louise
alison

...