Are others' perceptions of you often at odds with how you see yourself?

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Today I was called cool (as in chilly) and aloof and not easy to get to know.

I've always thought I was pretty approachable and friendly.

Seems not, to some, at least.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 11 November 2004 21:51 (twenty years ago)

yes! when people say good things about me i often try to convince people otherwise, i feel as if i'm deceiving them.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 11 November 2004 21:57 (twenty years ago)

I've been thinking about this lately, because I feel like when I'm in a social situation, I tend to act very jokey and silly, sometimes to the detriment of serious conversation, so I feel like people see me as kind of dumb, or least goofy.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:00 (twenty years ago)

But even clowns cry sometimes.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:01 (twenty years ago)

And there, I just did it again.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:02 (twenty years ago)

I think the internet has made me a bit (lot) weird.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:05 (twenty years ago)

Everyone I know has at one point or another told me I'm very condescending. I don't mind this during the 15% of my life when I'm trying to be condescending...

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:05 (twenty years ago)

no one ever tells me how they see me, maybe I am too mean and scary.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:07 (twenty years ago)

...says "teeny."

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:08 (twenty years ago)

Do you think you are?

xpost

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:08 (twenty years ago)

Id pay some serious good money to know what people's perceptions of me were in college. I hung out with some of the worst dudes on campus, but I wouldnt really consider myself one of them.. the mind reels.

― still bevens (bscrubbins), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:09 (twenty years ago)

I tend to cringe when somebody says "oh Anthony, you'll LOVE this" because (aside from a select few) they're usually thinking "Anthony likes shit, this is shit, Anthony will like it." Aside from that I don't hear too much that's at odds with how I perceive myself. Half because of what Teeny said.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:09 (twenty years ago)

i think i am often too goofy and very often condescending without even knowing it.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:09 (twenty years ago)

people seem kinda right most of the time. not in the sense that they see me *as i'd like to be seen*, but they see me the way i suspect i come across.

― m. (mitchlnw), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:11 (twenty years ago)

People think I'm conceited, when I'm actually only smarter than them.

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:12 (twenty years ago)

I have no idea how people see me, and for this I am thankful.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:14 (twenty years ago)

yeah I have no idea how people see me.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:19 (twenty years ago)

I'm almost tempted to quote Burns, but seeing as it's an obvious quote, and I loathe him, I won't bother.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:20 (twenty years ago)

Robbie or Monty?

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:35 (twenty years ago)

Robert. I like Monty.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:36 (twenty years ago)

a girl i knew in college told me that the song 'shiny happy people' reminded her of me. fucking hell.

i am sometimes enthusiastic. but not cheeryannoying, dammit.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Thursday, 11 November 2004 22:37 (twenty years ago)

i can be cheeryannoying at times but i'm more quirkyalone

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 11 November 2004 23:46 (twenty years ago)

quirkyalone! ha! I lived in the same dorm as the gal who made up that term.

― LSTD (answer) (sexyDancer), Thursday, 11 November 2004 23:47 (twenty years ago)

A friend once described me as "Lou Reed's answer to Rainbow Brite". I'm still not sure exactly what that MEANT, but there you go.

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Thursday, 11 November 2004 23:54 (twenty years ago)

Me too. And I'm loud and talk about myself a lot, so I think they may think of me as noisy and boring. I always used to think I was shy...I mean, I WAS shy awhile ago, but not anymore.

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 11 November 2004 23:59 (twenty years ago)

I'm "intimidating", which I think is a gender bias. I am merely competent and confident, which in a man would be seen as "normal".
Anyone worth knowing is a bit difficult for average people to interact with, I think. I find average people tedious. I do my best to cover it up, but they just don't interest me. I've been told I'm intense, and that's ok with me. I like intense people. I've lived my life around musicians and artists so my norm may be a little skewed but I am most comfortable around people other people would consider freaks. But these freaks have attained greatness and have massive personalities. I think people are a Rorschach-how you are perceived by someone often tells you more about that person than it does about you. If they fear difference and want everyone the same, and you are different, that will be negative. Insecure people will say that you are condescending because they themselves are too scared to enter the fray of strong convictions and opinions which make for lively social discourse. I like my people authentic above all, not striving to be something they aren't. I'll take a blatant freak over a well-adjusted middle class striver every time.

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 12 November 2004 00:05 (twenty years ago)

I'm with Kevin on this - I don't really have too much idea how people perceive me, and I'm too scared to want to find out. There are a few obvious things - I know a lot of people think me exceptionally intelligent, for instance (not so much here, where the average is insanely high, but even at work in a department full of very clever people), and opinionated. I'm perfectly happy with those things. I am pretty sure some people think I'm arrogant, which is a misinterpretation of my deep insecurity, but an understandable one. Some people think me weird, but that's only very straight types, really. I hope people think I'm kind and generous, because those are two of my best qualities, I think, but I've no idea how many people would agree with me.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 12 November 2004 13:27 (twenty years ago)

Others perceive me as malformed pondscum and that coincidentally is how I see myself.

― Marcello Carlin, Friday, 12 November 2004 13:29 (twenty years ago)

I really wouldn't have the faintest idea how people perceive me, loud, I imagine. I try not to think too much about it as that sort of thing tied me up in knots when I was a kid.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 12 November 2004 13:30 (twenty years ago)

I don't have any idea, but I'm betting that hardly anyone perceives me in the same way that I think of myself.

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 12 November 2004 13:33 (twenty years ago)

Haha I don't need to answer this thread I suspect.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 12 November 2004 13:34 (twenty years ago)

At work, I am considered by many to be a cynic.

On the contrary, I am a realist amongst deluded fools.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Friday, 12 November 2004 13:34 (twenty years ago)

embarassing...so says the great wife.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Friday, 12 November 2004 13:37 (twenty years ago)

Oh, absolutely. I had a very peculiar conversation about this with some old university friends last year. It was too complex to go into detail about, but it left me concluding that my self-image was completely incorrect in several major personality areas. Since then I've not really trusted my perceptions of myself.

― RickyT (RickyT), Friday, 12 November 2004 13:38 (twenty years ago)

I overheared somebody saying this about me:

"You know, I used to think he just talked rubbish all the time. Until one day, I understood something, and realised it made a lot of sense. And then, after that, I understood everything he said, and it all meant something. Unliess I am actually going mad too."

Perhaps this belongs in the "things you overheared" thread...

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 12 November 2004 13:39 (twenty years ago)

I have absolutley no idea how people perceive me, I mean really. Does it show a lack of empathy?

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 12 November 2004 13:43 (twenty years ago)

Me: "Well I'm an introvert."

Rest of world: "AHAHAHAHA!"

Me: *thinks 'Okay, I'm not an introvert?'*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 12 November 2004 13:54 (twenty years ago)

I'm sure different people have different perceptions of me - depends on how well they know me, and where they know me from. I sort of ascribe to notions of fluid identity, in that it's not really possible to act out of character. I'm not sure how I see myself really...slightly aloof, occasionally contrary, not exactly a nice person but capable of being nice, happyish, jaded, lazy, introverted. It changes.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 12 November 2004 17:17 (twenty years ago)

a bit pretentious & slightly arrogant.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 12 November 2004 17:18 (twenty years ago)

I don't really have too much idea how people perceive me, and I'm too scared to want to find out.

Me too. I'm probably better off not knowing.

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Friday, 12 November 2004 17:22 (twenty years ago)

If they see me as using vanity and supercilious arrogance to mask a deep-seated saudade then I suppose my answer would be 'no'. If they only see me as a tippling blowhard with a weakness for cats, they should know I might stir their martini with my dick.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 12 November 2004 17:33 (twenty years ago)

Dan and Orbit, I feel your pain.

Yesterday me and my friend were told our PERSONAS were threatening to people who didn't have a persona as such. I laughed.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 12 November 2004 17:38 (twenty years ago)

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