last night I dreamt I had a penis!

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and I immediately started jerking off and being disappointed when it wasn't bigger! I think I understand boys better now!

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 13 November 2004 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Post of the millennium, lock thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 13 November 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Dare I ask what Mr. Teeny thought of this dream?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 13 November 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

i want to respond to this but i don't know how.

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 13 November 2004 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I am so serious! I think maybe it was the pocket pussy thread, to be honest.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 13 November 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

it was great fun though.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 13 November 2004 15:54 (twenty-one years ago)

More should enjoy such appreciation.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 13 November 2004 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I dreamt I bought a digital video camera.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 13 November 2004 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

a pron dream without a money shot = nightmare?

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Saturday, 13 November 2004 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a dream that I was on one of the planes flying into the world trade center. It was very vivid. And scary. I really felt like I was there. I blame the nicotine patch that i'm wearing. Sorry for the bummer. It beats the dream I had about Calum's wedding the other night. Even if Ned was in it. (I wrote a post to Calum's bride-to-be in red paint up and around a gleaming spiral cathedral. It read, in part, I can't remember the whole thing, "Go ahead, go for it, just remember, Calum is not a doctor and he has never been in a submarine with Emma Bunton and Nicky Wire!")

― scott seward (scott seward), Saturday, 13 November 2004 16:06 (twenty-one years ago)

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Saturday, 13 November 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

This morning I awoke with a penis!

― peepee (peepee), Saturday, 13 November 2004 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I remember I had a dream where I was not exactly a woman, but being a woman was kinda my superhero power. I had a woman suit, and when I wore it, I was way more awesome.

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 13 November 2004 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

A woman suit like Buffalo Bill's?

― pullapartgirl (pullapartgirl), Saturday, 13 November 2004 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Kinda, but not as gross. It had a zipper.

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 13 November 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

It beats the dream I had about Calum's wedding the other night. Even if Ned was in it. (I wrote a post to Calum's bride-to-be in red paint up and around a gleaming spiral cathedral. It read, in part, I can't remember the whole thing, "Go ahead, go for it, just remember, Calum is not a doctor and he has never been in a submarine with Emma Bunton and Nicky Wire!")

My. Did we make for a lovely couple?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 13 November 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

1/ http://shenis.com/ (nsfw)

2/ scott you made my head hurt

3/ i dreamed thee other night that me & muh wuhmmun were getting it on in bed, & the bed caught fire! not caught fire as in we were really going at it & our passion set the bed alight (ahem), but caught fire as in some other reason made the bed catch fire, & we had to stop. It was a bit of a rubbish dream, though it started quite promisingly.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 13 November 2004 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

If Teeny lived in the Twilight Zone or old SF comics or some such, the sheets would have been all sticky when you woke up.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 13 November 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Who's to say they weren't?

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 13 November 2004 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

me. they weren't.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

thatsa shame.

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I dream about masturbating all the time. Often I dream about giving myself a blowjob too. But last ngiht I dreamt I had a ferrari! Twice!

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Not in a sexual way. Just to drive like a normal car. Onyl faster!

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I dream about all kinds of technology that I don't have, but never cars, for some reason.

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Last night I dreamed I was playing on a soccer team. I have this dream every Saturday night. It usually ends in frustration: I'm unable to keep the ball under control, and I give it away each time I touch it, despite promising fannydangle skills early in the posession. Anyway, last night I played well, and the score remained tied. Maybe I was focusing more on my team this time. But the match had to stop because it had "gone on too long!" I looked on the field and there were a bunch of 13-year-olds limbering up! But when would we get to finish our match??

Then that I missed the Farringdon Station on the Docklands Light Railway. How exciting!!!!! As the doors slid open for the next station after Farringdon, I asked a cheerful man which one was Farringdon. "Oh you've gone one too far," he said, pointing out the window with the stem of his pipe. The doors slid shut and he looked at me awkwardly, knowing that his statement was no longer strictly true, since, now I'd be going two stops too far. "How long is it til the next stop?" I asked. He looked at his watch. "About 9 or 10 minutes." I rolled my eyes, heaved a sigh, and woke up.

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

No help, no harm--just another false alarm.

― antexit (antexit), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

can we go back to talking about my penis?

― do you see (teeny), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

What guy hasn't dreamt about giving himself a blowjob? Seriously.

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:48 (twenty-one years ago)

That's what I meant by "technology."

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

and who has made that dream...a reality?

seriously

― g--ff (gcannon), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

The Six Million Dollar Blowjob

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

bah xpost.

the last memorable dream i had was a few weeks ago. i was in a sunny little town, and there was a parade, but there weren't very many people watching it. sitting under a tree, and not watching the parade, was John Kerry. He had his jacket off, and there was another, nameless apparatchik sitting with him. maybe it was supposed to be george stephanopolous, i dunno. but i wanted desperately to walk over and say, "please please please senator please don't forget about working people and please don't let iran get a nuclear bomb." but i didn't move, and then i woke up.

― g--ff (gcannon), Saturday, 13 November 2004 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/vanities/ribs.htm

― g--ff (gcannon), Saturday, 13 November 2004 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

WTF IS WITH KERRY DREAMS???
My dream last night: Was having a threesome with a couple of cute girls when I had to go to my car. As I'm walking along Front St I pass John Kerry who is looking at Blue Jays memorabilia. He turns, looks me in the eyes and says: "You need a change of scenery". I continue walking. W. T. F!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Saturday, 13 November 2004 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, last month I had a dream that John Kerry wanted to sleep with me.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Saturday, 13 November 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I had a dream a few days ago that I was invited to a dinner at the Kerry's. Tereza was really nice to me. I pulled John aside and told him he had done a good job. He didn't say much and seemed sad even though he was acting friendly. There was more to that dream but it's gone now. I remember his face seemed a little large in proportion to his body

― W i l l (common_person), Saturday, 13 November 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

You're not really Jon Bon Jovi, are you Will?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Saturday, 13 November 2004 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes.

― W i l l (common_person), Saturday, 13 November 2004 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

and who has made that dream...a reality?

Any man who can suck his own dick isn't spending his time posting on messageboards.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 13 November 2004 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

It's kind of like tickling yourself. It's not the same thing.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 13 November 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

You know from experience? AWESOME!

― Kenan (kenan), Saturday, 13 November 2004 20:22 (twenty-one years ago)

last night I dreamt I was in a mall being chased around by a guy who resembled a really down-on-his luck Willie Nelson. He kept shouting "security!" and accusing me of throwing a rock at him.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Saturday, 13 November 2004 20:24 (twenty-one years ago)

It was a long, long time ago.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 13 November 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

It might not be quite the same thing, but I bet it's still better than almost anything else.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 13 November 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe if one were flexible enough to deep throat. But people who can do it generally only get some of the glans wet.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Saturday, 13 November 2004 21:22 (twenty-one years ago)

> and I immediately started jerking off and being disappointed when it wasn't bigger! I think I understand boys better now!

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

― H (Heruy), Saturday, 13 November 2004 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris, you make having the end of your dick licked sound like some sort of disappointment. I suspect this implies you have a much better sex life than I.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 13 November 2004 21:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris, as I have posted before I know someone who is one of the stars of this video field (shocking when i discovered this was how me made a living) and he can go way beyond glans

it is quite disturbing when you're forced to watch a video of your friend tho and well TMI

― H (Heruy), Saturday, 13 November 2004 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Self Fellatio

Not even remotely safe for work.

― pullapartgirl (pullapartgirl), Saturday, 13 November 2004 23:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, I'd never have guessed from the link's name.

― caitlin (caitlin), Saturday, 13 November 2004 23:50 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a shame you but the NSFW disclaimer - it would have been fun dealing with complaints from people saying "how was I to know?"

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Sunday, 14 November 2004 00:17 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.selfellatio.com/images/silhouettecc.jpg

I love this photo because I imagine that the guy taking the photo was thinking, "I'll just stay here outside a disused barn watching a guy blow himself. This might be like one of the scenes from 'Deliverance' that was left on the cuting room floor."

― Michael White (Hereward), Sunday, 14 November 2004 00:29 (twenty-one years ago)

The cuting room is where I flirt.

― Michael White (Hereward), Sunday, 14 November 2004 00:47 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, it's also true that some people can go beyond glans -- I have seen enough photographic evidence of this.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 14 November 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I think "and I immediately started jerking off" is the most telling part of the dream. I'm sure if I dreamt I had a vagina I would immediately try to get in on that multiple orgasm action.

― Hi, I am a genius. a big one. (AaronHz), Sunday, 14 November 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Teeny, in your dream, were you circumcized?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 14 November 2004 04:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I had this dream once when I was younger and very drunk. The outcome (ahem) was similar to teeny's dream.

― Michael White (Hereward), Sunday, 14 November 2004 05:55 (twenty-one years ago)

You dreamed you had a penis?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 14 November 2004 06:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a penis. I once dreamt it was disobediant.

― Michael White (Hereward), Sunday, 14 November 2004 06:24 (twenty-one years ago)

thank god no one has dreamt of dick cheney's monster penis yet

― kingfish (Kingfish), Sunday, 14 November 2004 06:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear God, let us pray that Richard Cheney's (French name!!!) penis occasionally drains enough blood from his ticker to deprive him of the advantages of life.

― Michael White (Hereward), Sunday, 14 November 2004 06:31 (twenty-one years ago)

i rarely dream about my penis.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 14 November 2004 10:24 (twenty-one years ago)

You're not missing much.

― You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (tracerhand), Sunday, 14 November 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I rarely dream about your penis too, latebloomer.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 14 November 2004 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

re dream about self blowing. i've had one but didn't say anything to anyone as i thought my brain was trying to make me gay. could this happen?

― lucifer, Sunday, 14 November 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i must say though, when i do dream about my penis, it is glorious.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 14 November 2004 14:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I was cut; probably because that's the only kind I have experience with.

― teeny (teeny), Sunday, 14 November 2004 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

two weeks pass...

I had the dream again, I wonder what that means? Do other girls have this dream?

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 29 November 2004 04:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Last night I dreamt I had a penis... in my mouth! It was attached to someone else. I don't usually have those sorts of dreams, so it was a pleasant treat.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 29 November 2004 04:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I so thought this was a Calum thread.

― I'm serious ... Ti-i-i-i-im (deangulberry), Monday, 29 November 2004 04:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I the only one who hears Morrissey sing the title of this thread?

― Ernest P. (ernestp), Monday, 29 November 2004 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

haha, no i did too!

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Monday, 29 November 2004 04:29 (twenty-one years ago)

hm well i think it's best you keep telling us about these dreams of yours, teeny, so that we can...help.

― g--ff (gcannon), Monday, 29 November 2004 04:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I had the dream again, I wonder what that means?

That you listen rather too often to Goldie Looking Chain, perhaps?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 29 November 2004 06:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"Am I the only one who hears Morrissey sing the title of this thread?"

ha! ha!

Last night I read a Smiths cover story from an old issue of MOJO. That was the first thing that popped into my head when I read this thread title. Thank God I'm not alone.

― J-rock (Julien Sandiford), Monday, 29 November 2004 09:27 (twenty-one years ago)

A few months ago I had dream where I was a black female fugitive in Southern USA, chased by the white racist police. Eventually they caught me and threw me in jail. I was told to visit the jail showers and afterwards put on some prison clothes, because that's where I was heading. In the showers I began to touch my body and masturbate. It felt very good, more wholesome than male masturbation.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 29 November 2004 10:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i did too re: morrissey!

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 29 November 2004 11:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't re: Tuomas!

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 29 November 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

omg i'm glad i put the re: bit in my post

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 29 November 2004 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

how sad are we? (and how said have we been etc)

― John (jdahlem), Monday, 29 November 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

???

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 30 November 2004 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Why do I keep reading this thread title to the tune of "Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me?"

― Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Tuesday, 30 November 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

you weren't the only one!

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 30 November 2004 11:39 (twenty-one years ago)

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