i don't know nothin bout birthin no baby!

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

okay, so the blessed event is a mere 2 and half months away. i have begun to really freak out over the actual process of labor and childbirth. those of you who have actually been through this horror, or have witnessed it, please tell your tale. do not leave out any awful details. i must hear the ugly truth. also i want to discuss the drugs involved and their pros and cons.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

are you having a baby? how did I miss this?

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I've never given birth nor raised a child, but I'm still crazy-excited that you'll be doing BOTH!!!! :)

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think that in the 3+ years of ilx any female ilxor has had a baby, am I wrong on this?

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Man I didn't realise, erm congrats?!! Best of luck with that. I can't wait to have kids!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I got no drugs even though I begged. Pitifully.

My mate advises having 'EPIDURAL' tattooed across your forehead in case you're in no state to request it when you get there.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, i am quite excited for us! but i really am becoming terrified, nightmares have begun about long and complicated labor, possible c section, etc. i wish i could just wake up and the baby be here magically.

no drugs???? AHHHHHHH! how long did it take? did you think that death was imminent?

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you want the truth or the sugar-coated version?

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think that in the 3+ years of ilx any female ilxor has had a baby, am I wrong on this?

So this'll be the first ILX BABY? Can we name her/him?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

And have a live thread on the birth?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I got no drugs even though I begged.

God, that's horrible! Or was there any sensible reason for them not to give you the drugs? What's the deal with that, "let her suffer it's only natural"??? I think I want a baby sometime in the future, but ONLY if they promise me to take away as much of the pain as possible.

― Hanna (Hanna), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Emily had mentioned her baby coming due on another thread but otherwise had been shy about the fact. NOW IT IS REVEALED TO ALL.

(I of course have no practical advice to give. You may mock me.)

I SHOULD note, dear Tuomas, that Alex in NYC's wee Charlotte is the ILXor baby par excellence, and even has the T-shirt to prove it.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

well some of the menfolk posters have had kids! xpost

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, I'd forgot Alex. Sorry.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Still, I'd love a live thread straight from the hospital. Do they allow laptops there?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

TRUTH.

also, my mom was famous for her easy births-she had all of us within 20 minutes of arriving at the hospital. does any ilxor know if this is possinly genetic? i keep forgetting to ask my doctor.

well, i think the naming is complete. but feel free to offer other suggestions. girl-clementine mary, boy-harvey joseph

alex's baby is adorable! i hope that mine doesn't look creepy in comparison.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

And if you include ILB, misshajim has just ~~endured~~ celebrated this happy event.

Good luck emily! I haven't given birth so have no real advice, but I would be just as terrified as you, if that helps... everyone says it's worth it!

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

oh-live thread? are you nuts? i don't even want to witness this bloody mess myself, much less have any other human see and remember the carnage.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Maria D. and scott seward have a baby!

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Alice was March 2000, but I wasn't here at that time.

We arrived at hospital at 11:00, she was born by 11:30. That's quite quick though.

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

This is what Harvey makes me think of (sorry):

http://www.disordered.org/farscape/02/Harvey.jpg

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait till Luna gets here. She'll drop mad knowledge about squeezing the little baby out.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I had the nightmares in advance too, Emily. I remember at 8 months waking up, bawling and saying, "I don't want to do this". Bit late though.

I didn't get any drugs because I was ready to deliver when I got to the hospital so they never give drugs when you're at that stage. Unfortunately, the second stage which usually takes between 10 - 30 mins, lasted almost 3 hours for me and I needed to have a Ventouse delivery.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

There was one girl on a mailing list I was on who just suddenly went "oh, and by the way, my water just broke, so I guess I should be going to the hospital" in an e-mail. I don't think I'd be that calm...

― Hanna (Hanna), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Amber was more complicated, but from the onset of labour, about 1 hour..

This is a very busy thread...

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I think teeny meant female ilxors who have actually given birth during their time on ILX. Well, not literally during... that would be taking interweb mentalism too far.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Ventouse delivery
What's that?

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Congrats, Emilymv! I had no idea!

I hope to god (for me) that childbirthin' troubles aren't genetic, but I bet that are (which is good for you). My mom took 12 hours + in labour with me and then I was this SUPER GIGANTOR baby. And my grandmother had to stay in bed her entire pregnancy with my mom. Ay de mi!

One of my best friend's wives took me aside right after she had their baby. She said, "Sarah, I'm going to tell you like it is. It hurts like hell. There's no way to describe it. It's kind of like trying to force a watermelon out your ass." Lovely. But, hopefully it's not so bad for you!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

(BTW, this is my most quoted phrase from gone with the wind)

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost

Ventouse?

its a wire coathanger they get round the baby's head to 'aid' delivery.

(really. well, close enough)

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe i should hope for a c-section. although i imagine the recovery is much worse.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Must. Stop. Reading. This. Thread.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

It's used instead of forceps when the baby is in the birth canal but gets stuck for some reason. Kinda like a hoover. The baby emerges with a bit of a conehead.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, I'd forgot Alex. Sorry.

::sigh:::: must it always be this way? :)

Seriously, Em, it'd be irresponsible and unrealistic of me to say "stop worrrying, it's a cakewalk!" as every delivery is different. Ours was both crazed and idyllic, if such a thing is possible. For a start, my wife suffered from a condition called cholestasis (a liver problem), which dictated that we go early. Even so, we had some braxton hicks contractions (false alarm labor) early on anyway. When we went into the doctor's office the following Monday (it happened on a Friday night), they took a look at proceedings and basically bundled us off immediately to the hospital. With a little petocin, the process was initiated. I HIGHLY recommend the epidural (the before and after conditions in the pain/discomfort department -- even just visibly -- were striking). The epidural itself is kinda nerve-wracking (lots of "don't move, or we'll have to do it all over again" stuff....all the while the doctor was talking about some recent ski trip....like a fucktard!) From there, it was surprisingly swift. We waited for things to dilate and whatnot, and once they had, my wife only had to really push for -- dare I say it -- a half an hour (we know people who were in labor, by contrast, for upwards of 36 hours, so go know). It's a very visceral, hair-raising experience once it's occurring, but you'll manage. Somehow, you'll naturally come to grips with it...and won't be as freaked out when it's happening (sort've like auto-pilot, I guess).

GOOD LUCK!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Which, I hasten to add, returns to normal shape and size pretty quickly!

xpost

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

i assume the vaccuum thingy is better than forceps?

oh, and i also must say that the realization that all that pain will bring a beautiful baby will make it go much easier. that and the anticipation of being able to have a martini again. i wonder if i could have one after, in my hospital bed. anyone know about rules/regulations on that?

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

i assume the vaccuum thingy is better than forceps?

The films they show you before hand make both look entirely unappetizing, but both are time-tested, Em. Don't sweat that part of it. Chances are they won't need either.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

And get ready for lots of this:

http://homepage.mac.com/alexinnyc/.cv/alexinnyc/Sites/.Pictures/Photo%20Album%20Pictures/2004-07-04%2016.28.35%20-0700/Image-94029E06CE1011D8.jpg-thumb_105_140.jpg

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I asked my friend Sinead what it was like quite soon after she had given birth. She said: "I'm not going to lie to you like the rest of the mammy's. It hurts like fuck and you tear. But then you feel grand afterwards. It was either drugs or hormones."

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i know it is ridiculous, but all of the high tech medical things involved kinda make me want run screaming into the wilderness to squat like an aboriginee in a cave somewhere.

her sad face is so cute!

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I think they're used for different reasons but I can't remember why exactly. Oh, I think it depends on how far the baby has descended.

If either of them need to be used, chances are you won't care at that stage and will be happy to move the delivery along. Neither are particularly painful in themselves.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

AAAAAAACKKKKKKK! NO TEARING!

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I had an episiotomy which is much more refined and neater!

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

(sorry, she seemed quite blase about it if that's any consolation)

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I just keep thinking childbirth must be like Alien. I'm too much of a wuss.

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Better make sure you are massaging your perineum (sp) then!! (apparently this helps!)

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

The only awful detail I have is that our daughter arrived two weeks past her due date, but the labor and birth went really smoothly. My wife had an odd premonition that that day would be the day. Sure enough, her water broke about 7:30 a.m. and there were mild but regular contractions, so off we went. Contractions, breathing, dilation, huff-puff-huff-puff, all according to plan. From no dilation to 4 cm in about two and a half hours, the baby's heart rate was good and she was positioned well for a normal birth, so they went ahead with the requested epidural. (They said that an epidural can slow labor down, so they don't like to do it when things are going really slowly.) More labor, everything moving along quickly and ta-dah, the baby arrived at 4:37 that afternoon. Small episiotomy, ouchie for a few weeks.

My wife had to have her gall bladder removed about six weeks later after a painful attack of gallstones — speculation was that the crowding in her abdomen from the baby caused some gallstones to get hung up in her bile duct.

Congratulations and good luck! I hope your birthin' situation goes as smooth as ours did.

― the apex of nadirs (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I wasn't technically an ILX poster yet when we had Rufus 2 years ago (birthday coming up Dec. 2).

Congratulations!

My tale:
I hadn't had a baby shower and my older sister felt I must have one so she organized one that was actually *after* my due date. The baby waited. A couple of days before the shower, I lost my plug (mucousy bloody discharge) which usually happens a couple of days before labor. A couple of weeks before, I had had some Braxton Hicks contractions - fake preparatory contractions that don't progress. The doctor had told me that I would definitely know when my water broke, that there would be a gush. The morning of the baby shower, I felt like I had lost control of my bladder. Every time I sat down or stood up I leaked what I thought was pee. A couple of hours before guests started arriving for the baby shower, I started having contractions. I had been warned about not going to the hospital too soon, so I didn't rush off. I would open some baby gifts, then have a contraction, then open some more gifts. About 12 hours after they started, the contractions became very painful. I was having "back labor". We went to the hospital. Turns out my water had broken that morning, but instead of a gush, I had a trickle. Because I had waited so long to go, my uterus got infected, and I started developing a high fever. I felt sooo cold. As soon as I got there, I asked for an epidural. I recommend it - but I couldn't really feel to push. The baby was "sunny side up", face up instead of down. They were monitoring his heartbeat. It would drop as the contractions progressed. He didn't seem to be moving down the canal. After another 12 hours (meaning now 24 hours total of contractions), the doctor decided we should go into surgery for a C-section. I think she thought I wanted to try not to go that route, but I wish she'd made that decision sooner. I was completely drugged up with a sheet in front of my face so I couldn't see what was happening and my arms pinned down in crucifix mode. Scott watched the operation which was apparently horrifying. The baby came out okay and Scott got to hold him first. I couldn't hold him because I was crucified and drugged. He was apparently a bit stressed and needed to be warmed up. He probably had my fever. They brought me to recovery and it was a full 6 hours before they finally brought Rufus into the room. We spent a week in the hospital recovering, on antibiotics and painkillers.

The breastfeeding didn't work for us -- Rufus couldn't latch on. I wanted him to have breast milk, so I pumped milk for about 5 months and we fed him with a bottle. La Leche League tried to help us. Pumping and bottles were a pain and I had imagined this close bond with breastfeeding, but it also freed me up some and allowed Scott to feed the baby and establish a closer connection.

Now for a newsflash:
I'm pregnant again. This time I'll have a scheduled C-section. The 2nd time is supposed to be a lot easier. We're due in May.

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

when i think of childbirth i envision all sorts of cronenberg-esque scenarios. i'm way too squeamish.

― lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Now for a newsflash:
I'm pregnant again. This time I'll have a scheduled C-section. The 2nd time is supposed to be a lot easier. We're due in May.

Holy shit, congrats to you two too!!!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 18 November 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 322 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

oh BOOO i'm jealous of you. :-) one of our colleagues is pregnant. five months. she has dropped half a kilo in weight. she *claims* it's her tight stomach muscles. personally i think it's her obsession with weight.

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, it's like ilx is undergoing a baby epidemic. Congratulations to all.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

haha BABY EPIDEMIC!

― known vaginatarian (nickalicious), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

TEH CHILDBIRTHIN PLAGUE

― known vaginatarian (nickalicious), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

OH SHIT plague better get away from my vadge!!!!11

Seriously, I haven't heard anything yet this morning, but Drake's supposed to let me know if he hears anything new.

― sugarpants (sugarpants), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

No baby yet! The contractions yesterday were just a warm up apparently.

― Drake Beardo (cprek), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

It is just like Outbreak!

x-x-post

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

She must be getting rather bored with this by now.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

OK she's back in the hospital now.

― Drake Beardo (cprek), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Good luck Emily! (I know you won't see this for ages, but the thought is there.)

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I for one welcome our new baby overlords.

Well done/good luck everyone!

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

yay new babies!!!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Baby Clementine 6 pounds 13 ounces!

― Drake Beardo (cprek), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

HOOORAYYY!!!

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Yowsa! :-) :-) :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

So Charlotte, then Clementine. Next ILX daughter surely must be Carole or Christine.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Congratulations - lots of love to Emily and Clementine! xoxo

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Cool! Congrats to ma, pa and Clementine. "Clemmie" for short?

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Welcome to Clementine!

― toraneko (toraneko), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Congratulations!

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

We need a Clementine pix thread!

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

The warmest & goodest well wishes to the parents and their creation!

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 17 February 2005 00:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Yay!! Welcome to Clemmie!

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 17 February 2005 00:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Fucking well done.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 17 February 2005 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

yay!!!

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 17 February 2005 03:43 (twenty-one years ago)

congratulations! hope everyone is feeling well!

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 17 February 2005 04:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Fucking well done.

Yes, and the birthing too.

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 17 February 2005 04:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Congrats to Mike and Emily both!

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 17 February 2005 06:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Many, many congratulations :)) Wonderful news!

― C J (C J), Thursday, 17 February 2005 07:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Great news, well done.

Oooh I love new babies.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 17 February 2005 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Wooooo! Well done to the birthing ladies and their supporters. My goodness, you are strong people.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Thursday, 17 February 2005 10:14 (twenty-one years ago)

yay for birthin

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 17 February 2005 10:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Congrats to all the new parentx0r and their shiny new kidZ0r!

― lock robster (robster), Thursday, 17 February 2005 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Congratulations!

― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 17 February 2005 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yay congratulations! Much love & respect! pix needed.

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 17 February 2005 11:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Congratulations!!!!

― Rumpy Pumpkin, Thursday, 17 February 2005 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Well now I'd say she does know something about birthin' a baby.

Emily I love you and am so proud of you!

― known vaginatarian (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 February 2005 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Awww!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 17 February 2005 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Congrats! Maybe someday we can have a FAPD (fancy a play date). Don't forget to sleep when the baby sleeps.

― Maria D. (Maria D.), Thursday, 17 February 2005 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I love that Emily's myspace profile still says "undecided" next to children.

I should wait for Emily to post pictures of her own baby, but I'm an impatient man! CLEMENTINE:
http://c.myspace.com/00060/39/15/60785193_l.jpg

― known vaginatarian (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 February 2005 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Damnit, have I really been posting with that screen name all week? UGH.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 February 2005 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Aw, how adorable. Congratulations Emily!

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 17 February 2005 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

omg! Amazing. Well done Emily and cute cute Clementine!

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 17 February 2005 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, so tiny! Emily I hope you are recovering well.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 17 February 2005 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Yay little baby Clementine! :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 February 2005 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

HOLY CRAP YOU MADE A PERSON

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 17 February 2005 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Welcome to the world, baby girl! She's just beautiful.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 17 February 2005 16:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Clementine is so sweet, yay emily!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 17 February 2005 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

She and Charlotte must eventually form a band called C-Power.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 February 2005 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)

You Are Twee

(HOLLER AT THE GODDESS!)

― Deerninja B4rim4, Plus-Tech Whizz Kid (Barima), Thursday, 17 February 2005 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.