Americans: Please explain about Barney

I too am troubled by Barney. I hate the way he is a sanitised versh of something highly dangerous. Barney is not just a dinosaur, his physical appearance shouts TYRANNOSAUR, yet he has herbivore teeth, two identical rows of gleaming white flat teeth, not the sharp, piercing raptorial teeth of a pernicious preying machine.

oh, and the songs on his TV show are the worst songs ever. Far worse than the improv songs my wacky colleague used to make up in the office...

laaaaaame

wow thought u would fuck with Barney

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/barney-movie-works-mattel-daniel-kaluuya-1248599

"Barney was a ubiquitous figure in many of our childhoods, then he disappeared into the shadows, left misunderstood,” said Kaluuya. “We're excited to explore this compelling modern-day hero and see if his message of 'I love you, you love me' can stand the test of time."

I can't deal with this at all

“Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination, and we can’t wait to get ‘I love you, you love me’ stuck in heads everywhere, yet again,” said Carrico of Valparaiso Pictures.

Chillingly dystopian stuff.

baffled by daniel kaluuya’s involvement tbh, like all that good work in film and tv over the last few years was all to build up the cultural capital to make... a barney movie???

This plays to my general thesis that most people, deep down inside, are assholes

Just reading that sentence gave me aural PTSD.

Only in favour of this if they retain the feel and budget of the original series

Maybe we'll get lucky and the movie will be about Barney and Baby Bop being actual mutated dinosaurs who spend the movie's running time actually hunting down and eating children but I'm not holding my breath

— DJP (@djperry1973) October 18, 2019

what we need is a grittier, darker Barney reboot

Barney Begins

There are other... angles they could go with.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/zmzgbw/the-guy-who-played-barney-the-dinosaur-now-runs-a-tantric-sex-business

I love you, you love me, please sign this paper that says you're not a cop

Tic tac toe, three in a row
Barney got shot by a G.I. Joe
Mama told the doctor and the doctor said
Woot! Woot! Barney's dead.

I just learned recently that someone was the daughter of the person who did the voice of Barney, but for the life of me I can't remember who it was.

OH! Kaitlin Deaver, who was in Booksmart and Unbelievable.

"what we need is a grittier, darker Barney reboot" this was called Death to Smoochy and it's underrated and underappreciated.

Should get Spike Jonze on this

I remember a guy on last.fm whose profile was just Barney songs, each with tens of thousands of plays, and he would seek you out and swear at you if you said anything bad about Barney anywhere on the site.

this was called Death to Smoochy and it's underrated and underappreciated.

https://media.giphy.com/media/ldsaj3XdIPb8s/giphy.gif

“When the lingam [penis] and the yoni [vagina] meet, there’s a certain energy that takes place that hands on the body alone cannot create”

the guy who did the voice of Barney is one of the most famous alums of the idiot university I attended as an undergrad. Along with Gibby Haynes and Paul Leary.

the idiot university is good again