Office Christmas Party Koans

good god yall

They canceled ours. Thank you jesus.

Last year's party was kind of insane--$100,000 worth of drunken extravagance. I work in real estate and the company issued a statement that wasteful opulence is not in good taste in 2008. It wasn't really in good taste last year either, tbh. I'm very relieved I don't have to hang out with my coked up co-workers outside of the office environment although a lot of the more drug-addled sleazeballs have dropped out of the game since it stopped being easier than shooting fish in a barrel.

we had our party on friday night. i know it cost at least $100k if not more (the venue by itself was $80k). it kind of blew imo. i made the big mistake of not eating dinner before i went and getting wasted within about 30 minutes. and then i feel like i just wandered around drunk and confused. then after a lot of us went to a bar and i think i drunkenly conversed with the president of the company. :O

it could have been worse though; last year i made the mistake of hooking up with a coworker.

:o

yeah ours is like 9 women sitting around a table eating hors d'oeurves

srsly zzzz

we dont have an xmas party, they just give us slightly bigger bonuses

The theme for this year's astronomy department party is 'the golden age of hollywood'. I am super psyched.

we were supposed to do it at dave & busters which would have rocked as an old magic bro works the place that night, but cutbacks mean we're doing it on property and no one can drink

oh also i'm supposed to do magic at the party

!!!!????

i almost wanna tell them to go fuck themselves for getting me excited then letting me atrophy for months and then saying "ayo we need you to work for free!!"

http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k90/crunchgear/March%202007/gob-magc.jpg

Illusions, Michael. Tricks are what a whore does for money. Or candy!

thats a lol bit but i hate actual magicians who say they perform 'illusions' like ayo pipe down copperfield

3 months ago the christmas party was supposed to be on a friday featuring drinks & dinner for employee plus one...then oops economic meltdown and it's now on tuesday with open bar* *beer & wine only for about 35 minutes and no guests. They should have just cancelled it.

My work are having a 2-day weekend party on the beach at Torquay with paid accomodation for all (bear in mind it is summer here o'course)

... and I cant go cause I'm going to perth :(

that sounds amazing
(if you like your work colleagues)

Yeah they're pretty cool! Ah well, I guess I can hang on a nice beach in Perth in the summer sun so I cant complain.

Good fucking god I am in pain :(

Parties are the worst shit ever. Thankfully our Christmas party apparently will be going out for dinner (sushi at some particularly fancy place, I gather.)
With some luck I can excuse myself after the dinner and not go on to the bar they're heading to afterwards. Alas, we're only six people, so I can't just wander off without anyone noticing.

Or can I?
Perhaps I need to go trawl the archives of Frasier episodes to find out how he'd solve this, and learn from his delightful mistakes.

I WON $100. But that was tempered by having to deal with endless "heheh so you're gonna buy me some drinks huh heheh" pestering.

ours is friday in bayswater and is a joint event with 250 people from other companies that we do not know. i will not be attending.

"We successfully delivered over 230 Christmas Parties during November and December 2007"

'delivered'. makes them sound like truck drivers.

The theme for this year's astronomy department party is 'the golden age of hollywood'

whoa that's our theme as well. I am not going and am very pysched.

actually, so is ours. they will be greeted at the door by 'marilyn manroe' but i can't decide whether that's a typo or a tranny...

The other weekend my mum was telling me about her work's party last year, which she organised, but as far as I can tell that meant she got some organising company to actually arrange stuff. The theme was the 'roaring twenties', and I had to bite my tongue not to suggest that she could follow it up with a 'great depression' one this year. Especially as she works at a building firm who have let go of about 95% of the staff from last year's party.

I'm going to my departmental party tomorrow, for the first time in 3 years of working here. I'm quite looking forward to it, at the moment.

My wife and I got drunk and picked each other up at our former employer's Christmas party, which was LEGENDARY for the scale of its debauchery.

One year, DHS got called b/c one of the admin. higher-ups (non-lawyer) threatened to "blow up the building" if they didn't bring more booze down to the bars. This was three months after 9/11, and about 6 blocks from the White House.

Awesome.

But as for a koan:

An sneaky exit from an office Christmas party is neither sneaky, nor an exit.

Our Christmas party is however many pitchers the office budget will allow us to buy at Great Lakes Brewing Co. tomorrow night.