U+K TS: Urkel vs. Carlton

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http://www.everkindness.com/urkel/urkel.jpg vs. http://not_enough.at.infoseek.co.jp/drimage/fprince_carl.jpg

― donut christ (donut), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Carlton. For the Shatner episode alone.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Tuesday, 21 December 2004 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.davidbowietribute.com/alf2.jpg

l-r: carlton, bowie

― cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 03:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Carlton just has the celeb guests down pat!

― Girolamo Savonarola, Tuesday, 21 December 2004 03:14 (twenty-one years ago)

plus urkel in real life always comes off desperate, eager to show he's really not urkel at all, in fact he's cool! and he never comes off cool, whereas alfonso ribeiro is so cool he taught michael jackson to dance and his name is fucking fonzie.

― cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 03:14 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah he's like screech guy with his ponytail!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 03:16 (twenty-one years ago)

further 'this ain't even a contest info' gleaned from imdb:

There was a rumor that he died in the 80s while doing a head spin, but he was confused with a breakdancing boy in a Pepsi commercial who did die.

Won The Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach celebrity race in 1994 and 1995.

In 2003 starred in a McDonald's commercial for McGriddle breakfast sandwiches. - carlton triumphant

― cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 03:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Carlton rules.

― Ian John50n (orion), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 04:05 (twenty-one years ago)

you Carlton-lovers are a sad bunch. Urkel if you knew him in real life would give you the occasional giggle, plus he plays the accordion. Carlton is a stone fucking drag. Urkel, if you met him, might well smoke you out, and would probably have quality bud. Carlton is a narc. Carlton needs to step off before I open up a can of beatdown for him. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

― Sid Bream (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 04:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Truly ILX is back in action.

Meanwhile, whatever happened to Sinbad?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 04:25 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.geocities.com/emurphy23/carlton.txt

― fcussen (Burger), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 05:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Carlton.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 05:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Carlton may be the much acclaimed will o'th'wisp of today, but wait until his star fades, his moment passes - when he won't be able to talk his way into a celebrity golf tournament and his heavy drinking dials up to bar fighting with midgets. Then you'll all sing a different tune.

OTOH, I get down on my knees every day and thank God Urkel can't play golf.

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 05:35 (twenty-one years ago)

clearly none of you have seen "Carlton" playing a "thug on educational retreat" in the cheapo '90s horror flick Ticks

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 06:09 (twenty-one years ago)

actually wait, everyone prefers Carlton. so maybe you have.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 06:10 (twenty-one years ago)

i went to college with Urkle (and the rest of the cast of that show). Urkle was in my year. do you guys remember that alter ego he'd play named "Stephan". he was ultra-over-smooth and would be a ladies man. this is how the real Urkel acted. he thought he was such a pimp. he was actually kinda gross

― JaXoN (JasonD), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 06:39 (twenty-one years ago)

~~Lenny Henry~~

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 09:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Alphonso Ribero is 4'7" and has muscles the size of Uganda. I think he can bench press Milwaukee.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Also HE WAS ON SILVER SPOONS!!!!

Carlton, however, is the anti-Christ. I would like to beat him with Urkel.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Carlton was a MUCH better dancer.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

the most horrifying porn ever would star carlton, urkel, and kimmy gibbler in some sweaty threeway action.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Does anyone have a brooch that can poke out your mind's eye?

― The Ghost of Oedipus (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

OOOOORGH DID I DO THAT?

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

FUCKING CARLTON BY A THOUSAND MILLION MILES.

Someone needs to link to the Carlton C/D thread we had some time back. Some astute person raised the question of Carlton having had Will Smith's career -- oh, imagine.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

do you guys remember that alter ego he'd play named "Stephan". he was ultra-over-smooth and would be a ladies man. this is how the real Urkel acted. he thought he was such a pimp. he was actually kinda gross

Ewww. I was going to vote for Carlton anyway, but still...ew.

When I was a kid I was very jealous of Alfonso Ribeiro because he was such a great dancer and was on Silver Spoons (with Jason Bateman!) and got to hang out with Michael Jackson. So even though Carlton is kind of lame he's still a million times better than Urkel will ever be.

― Leon the Fratboy (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Carlton, because Fresh Prince of Bel Air was actually, uh, funny.

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

A relevant essay I wrote when I was 20.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Somewhere out there on the internet, there has GOT to be a .gif of CARLTON'S DANCE.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 16:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Also: Carlton, of course, wtf.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)

what was the tom jones' song that carlton danced to? i can't remember and it is driving me nuts!

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

It's Not Unusual

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 17:14 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG, NEW PHOTO OF URKEL FOUND

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v352/morganzola/jaleel.jpg

― JaXoN (JasonD), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

are those ladies' boots? that pic vaguely suggests that urkel may be starring in the next "mad max" movie.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG UNCOOL BLACK PEOPLE. WHO ARE SO UNCOOL THEY ARE COOL.

(Andre 3000. Or Hootie.)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

bryant gumbel?

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Is he now a eunuch??

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Jaleel prepares for the premier of Versace's new line. The catwalk awaits him.

― donut christ (donut), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah dude. he seems a little. um. sleek.

― peter smith (plsmith), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"Did I wear that?" *puts finger on mouth as he his head hits the auditorium lights above*

― donut christ (donut), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"Did I wear that?" *puts finger on mouth as his head hits the auditorium lights above*

― donut christ (donut), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Somewhere out there on the internet, there has GOT to be a .gif of CARLTON'S DANCE.

Like this?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Somehow that is soooooooo soooo much more entertaining than what I had hoped for.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG. i heart you dan.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.travellady.com/Issues/Issue65/Images/Roker_low.jpg

I PUT URKEL AND CARLTON ON THE GRILL AND EAT THEM FOR BREAKFAST THEN I SHIT THEM OUT.. SMELL MY TESTAROSSASTERONE!!

― donut christ (donut), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 19:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Every time I open this thread I hate Urkel even more for having such a nice accordion.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 21 December 2004 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Did anybody ever see "The Jaleel White Special"? I remember seeing an Entertainment Tonight short on the hour-long one-off, where White would get to show off the other comic sides of Urkel, but I never caught the show itself. It's not listed on IMDB and aside White's own press bio there's little mention of its existence on the web. Allegedly Flip Wilson brought back Geraldine for it. I think I remember ET showing a Casablanca spoof from it.

From USA TODAY:

NERDY CHARACTER ATTRACTS FAME:
The nerd is popular. Jaleel White's character, Steve Urkel on
"Family Matters," a top-30 television hit, has a doll based on his
character. A cereal, Urkel-Os, is now in the works and White can't
even go to shopping malls because he attracts a crowd. He's
hosting a prime-time special, "The Jaleel White Special,"
Saturday. "(Urkel) is so out-of-the-ordinary," White says.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

where White would get to show off the other comic sides of Urkel,

I meant where he could show off HIS other comic sides, not Urkel's. What a telling typo.

― miccio (miccio), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 00:29 (twenty-one years ago)

he should just change his name.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

three years pass...

check out this bizarre website. it's a strange german fansite for the girl who played lawra winslem in family matters. it even writes novelizations of episodeso!@ with screencaps of the episodes in them! just like those weird book adaptations of movies where theere 20 pages in the middle that were high quality glossies from the movie itself! and it's like, why don'y you just see the movie, the tickets (in 1993) where cheaper than the book itself! i mean you know its not that hard to figure it out!

― burt_stanton, Sunday, 28 September 2008 06:51 (seventeen years ago)

i knew urkel off and on until about high school. he was on commercials and that flip wilson sitcom back in the day but he was an ok smart dude to me, had a reputation for arrogance at school and he might have got beat up but i didn't see it. when that urkel shit was really blowing up i had already lost contact. carlton wins this so easy it's ridiculous

― get it right in utah (tremendoid), Sunday, 28 September 2008 07:15 (seventeen years ago)

somebody broke the stantonbot

― SHOT INTO A FAN LIKE A CHRIS ROCK ROBOT (John Justen), Sunday, 28 September 2008 07:17 (seventeen years ago)

one year passes...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5mjdjTYyN8

btw I am very sad that this thread was locked (nsfw): itt fat albert gets a blowjob from urkel while mr. t pours gravy on him

― sackful of hollow (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 18 November 2009 13:08 (sixteen years ago)

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