Name one good reason to join the army...

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I mean...

*You get shot at
*You have to 'bond' with a barracks full of guys...
*And shower with them
*You get shouted at
*You have to whack off over a cracker
*And risk eating it if you're last
*You can't watch the telly at night
*You have to go to crap places (i.e. London and Baghdad)
*You have to have no knowledge of international politics at all

― C_Zar, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:02 (twenty years ago)

*You can't watch the telly at night

there. very good reason.

did a girl dump you for a soldier, calum?

― :| (....), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:10 (twenty years ago)

you get to march up and down outside Buckingham Palace and get your picture taken by lots of people.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:11 (twenty years ago)

OK, howabout.. You don't get to listen to The Rasmus.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:14 (twenty years ago)

This is the best answers you can come up with? I mean, come on... squaddies and intelligent don't go together in the same sentence...

― C-Zar, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:23 (twenty years ago)

have you watched Fahrenheit 9/11, C-Zar? The part with the Marines recruiting in the run-down town was the best part of it I think. For the people there the answer would have been "so we don't have to be poor and jobless in this dump anymore".

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:25 (twenty years ago)

Much as I hate to bite at a C*l*m thread...

squaddies and intelligent don't go together in the same sentence...

Your evidence for this? I mean actual evidence, not some theory you have that only lives in yr own brane.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:26 (twenty years ago)

Discipline, shiny shoes, and a flattering cut of trouser. I'm not saying these pros outweigh the absolutely overwhelming cons, but they're *something*.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:27 (twenty years ago)

squaddies and intelligent don't go together in the same sentence...

change 'intelligent' to 'educated' and you are OTM.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:27 (twenty years ago)

they do go together in the same sentence, obviously

― :| (....), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:29 (twenty years ago)

Yeah I know. Tragic. They did it at my local Job Centre too. It's awful and really sad and I feel so bad for the guys that join through this. Surely, and this is my point, it would be better to:

A) Try and bring in those who are a little more educated on the nuances of international politics...

And/ Or

B) Spend some money educating our soldiers on the history and situation of the countries they go into.

Arming those who don't have much of an education surely isn't such a good idea - as proven by the mess we are in just now, where it's a case of firing first and asking questions later.

I started this thread as a bit of a laugh and now it's gone serious, whch I kinda wanted to avoid. I've read "Brave Two Zero" recently and the guy's attitude towards the country he was going into just kinda pissed me off. But then I've met one to many squaddies that seem intent on being monkeys hired by a corrupt government...

― C-Zar, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:30 (twenty years ago)

"You do what you are told without question"

This leads, inexorably, to

"Whatever you do is not your responsibility"

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:35 (twenty years ago)

You seem to be missing the fundamental point of what an army is actually for here, Calum.

Also, even if the bottom level Grunts attained either your A or B above, what would it achieve - and what would you want it to achieve? They'd still be taking orders from officers who 1) are, in the main, quite intelligent; 2) are, in the main, pretty well educated and 3) in some cases have knowledge of your A and B above that would put yours to shame.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:38 (twenty years ago)

Oh come on, what kind of intelligent person would order anyone into some of the stupid, stupid fucking wars our government kicks us into? Surely they should take a stand?

― C-Zar, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:40 (twenty years ago)

fucks sake, another six months roll on by and you still haven't worked it out yet. what's the point of soldiers being 'smart' or 'educated'? if you're going to have international conflict at all, and sadly it looks like we are, and a first world regime that relies on exploitation of other territories then you need idiot drones to do all the dirty work basically - laws of nature etc. Not saying I agree with this or think it's 'right' but I at least recognise it as an inevitable consequence of the system we live in. As the metropolitan intelligentsia 'we' realise the absurdity and destructive nature of war and refuse to see it as ever the true logical solution. The UN peacekeeping trooping method as presented in the media is easier to swallow tho I suppose...

I'm being a little flippant but that's all threads like these ever really deserve.

― Bomb 20 On Ice (blueski), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:40 (twenty years ago)

this perhaps? or some future version/equivalent of it?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:41 (twenty years ago)

I started this thread as a bit of a laugh and now it's gone serious, whch I kinda wanted to avoid.

As The Avid Merrion School Of Comedy's first graduate I scorn thee

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:42 (twenty years ago)

Well done Calum, you've proven you don't understand what the Army is for. Unfortunately this makes your first question redundant so I can happily ignore it now without giving you the courtesy of assuming you've actually thought about what you're asking.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:42 (twenty years ago)

Of course I know what it is for, and know full well why they want morons to join up - and I have every right to state what I believe is a better alternative. Simple education. Surely even letting them know a little about the country and culture would limit the civilian deaths that have caused such disgrace? And why hasn't Geoff Hoon resigned yet?

― C-Zar, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:46 (twenty years ago)

You're seriously saying that nobody anywhere in the Army is educated?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:49 (twenty years ago)

Hey C-Zar, do you think all those Iraqi troops were uneducated morons as well? For taking orders from someone REALLY EVEEEEEL like Saddam?! gosh, what a bunch of clots!

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:51 (twenty years ago)

wait a minute, its not about a girl. its that its either joining the forces or unemployment for you, right?

― :| (....), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:52 (twenty years ago)

*You can't catch SCREECHIN' HOMOSEXUAL diseases if you don't know whether or not the bloke in your bum is a SCREECHIN' HOMOSEXUAL

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:53 (twenty years ago)

"no no, dig UP, stupid!"

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:54 (twenty years ago)

I doubt these Iraqi soldiers had much of a say in the matter, to be honest...

xxxxxxxxxpost - no, I'm not saying no one, anywhere, in the army is educated. I was talking about soldiers.

And, no, I don't need - or ever will (touch wood) - have to enroll.

― C.Zar, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:55 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and what has Geoff Hoon done that he should be resigning for?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:55 (twenty years ago)

Who in the Army aren't soldiers?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:57 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and what hasn't Geoff Hoon done that he should be resigning for?

I agree.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:59 (twenty years ago)

Depends on how you term 'soldiers'. Nurses?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:59 (twenty years ago)

I think calum is confusing "soldiers" with "infantry" perhaps?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 10:59 (twenty years ago)

also, there are women (a somewhat rowr friend of my wife's for example) who find the uniform hawt. Yes indeed calum.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:02 (twenty years ago)

That's what I think as well, in fact I think it's even more basic than that and he's referring to what the Army lovingly refer to as Grunts.

Geoff Hoon x-post

Well apart from the time when he looked like Minister Without Responsibility during Hutton, I'm not actually sure what he's done wrong.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:02 (twenty years ago)

Well, I'm sure that's what he means. (The infantry I mean)

TBH, there has to be education available about the 'country you are going to', it's just a matter of takeup. Bit like going to Spain/Ibiza/etc for your holidays. Steep in culture or 'avalaff with the lads', it's just the same.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:03 (twenty years ago)

i think if you were to axe Hoon you might as well impeach Blair while you're at it (a fine sacrifice he would make for taking the course he did - members of his cabinest have been made to resign for far less). problem is there's no-one else out there people regard as fitter to lead the country right now and that's the real choker. Labour will win the election with relative ease and all one can hope for is that the gap is at least a lot closer than last time (and the turnout much much higher).

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:03 (twenty years ago)

Geoff Hoon should resign for being incompetent.

Second. Women do like squaddies, especially at my local club (I'm told, I would go to my local club at gun point maybe). But then women like lots of odd guys.

― C.Zar, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:05 (twenty years ago)

When has Geoff Hoon been incompetent (excepting the events surrounding Hutton, which I agree he should have gone for at the time over)?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:07 (twenty years ago)

Some women 'do like' squaddies.

Others do not or are meh.

Wow what a meaningful post from me.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:10 (twenty years ago)

You ever see that Chris Rock sketch on "treat em mean keep em keen?" He's like, "women always say they want a nice guy and that's such shit".

You know, I kinda agree. Some of the girls I know/ or have known date the biggest tossers who proceed to treat them pretty roughly. It's very strange, maybe a purely female thing. I don't like being treated like crap myself (says he who has been in a pretty bruising relationship).

― C_Zar, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:15 (twenty years ago)

says he who has been in a pretty bruising relationship

how much do you have to pay for that sort of thing?

c_zar we GET that lame generalisations about women (because it's okay to make these comments about THEM as opposed to like an ethnic group or homosexuals or something) are your permanent schtick here...but really, how long do you see yourself keeping this up?

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:17 (twenty years ago)

Some people are attracted to the kinds of people who abuse.

(You dont think you could be this way too? (I know, that's personal but I don't mean it as abuse)

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:18 (twenty years ago)

i mean you really should think about joining the army on the evidence of your mentality on this board - by your own argument.

xpost

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:19 (twenty years ago)

I'm the least sexist person you'll ever meet (emphasis on meet). The schtick on here is just kinda amusing from time to time.

― C_Zar, Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:20 (twenty years ago)

I misread that as "least sexiest" and was going to give Calum his first ever OTM.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:21 (twenty years ago)

Avid Merrion must be so proud.

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:22 (twenty years ago)

is 'least sexist person' something like 'least gay person'?

― :| (....), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:23 (twenty years ago)

aldo, I though that was what he said until you posted that. I was just about to say well done, and now I say oh no not again...

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 22 December 2004 11:24 (twenty years ago)

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