When only Jews are left on Earth . . .

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Will we celebrate a holiday every December 25th on which we get chinese food and go to a movie but don't remember why?

Seriously, what are all my yids doing for Christmas?

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:02 (twenty years ago)

I meant to extend that to Hindus, Moselms, atheists, etc. as well.

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:03 (twenty years ago)

im thinking about going to this chinese food & movie fest tomorrow nite. its $30 and there's all-you-can-eat chinese buffet and they're screening best of Mel Brooks (Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein) and Ben Stiller (Zoolander and Royal Tennenbaums). im not jewish though

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:04 (twenty years ago)

Is that in NYC?

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:05 (twenty years ago)

where else could this possibly happen? i guess maybe LA

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:06 (twenty years ago)

im kinda excited about it. definitely will go the mel brooks route. though im worried that people might think i'm the buffet server.

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:08 (twenty years ago)

I planning to visit Jewish friends in Philly, otherwise I'd be there.

― Hurting (Hurting), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:09 (twenty years ago)

im working :(

― chaki in charge (chaki), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:14 (twenty years ago)

its $30 and there's all-you-can-eat chinese buffet and they're screening best of Mel Brooks (Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein) and Ben Stiller (Zoolander and Royal Tennenbaums)

You have discovered Jewish paradise. When China becomes the world's largest economy, Jews and Chinese will truly run the world.

I'm not doing anything this Xmas, since the Xtian branch of our family decided to celebrate Xmas this year in Florida where my aunt lives. My siblings and I passed that one up.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:16 (twenty years ago)

DIM SUM and watching Return of the King extended edition.

― Ian John50n (orion), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:17 (twenty years ago)

You have discovered Jewish paradise.
for the over-40 crowd, anyway :)

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:17 (twenty years ago)

i hope i leave with at least one phone number. all those cute jewboys in one room.

― phil-two (phil-two), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:23 (twenty years ago)

I'm starting a new tradition of Christmas Ramen and SantaGin.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 24 December 2004 21:33 (twenty years ago)

Only Eastern Europeans will be left when AIDS strikes us all down

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 24 December 2004 21:40 (twenty years ago)

i'll be cooking pasta, watching cable tv, and re-sewing the loose buttons on my coat. i slept most of the day.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 24 December 2004 22:04 (twenty years ago)

i was going to do jewish xmas this year, as i was not (and am not) feeling really xian, but im broker then broke. so i dont know ?

― anthony, Friday, 24 December 2004 22:21 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://dieselsweeties.com/strips/sw1124.gif

― Jordan (Jordan), Friday, 24 December 2004 23:20 (twenty years ago)

Only Eastern Europeans will be left when AIDS strikes us all down
-- C('ing on)urt1sss

Yeah?
How?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 24 December 2004 23:25 (twenty years ago)

where did the 'jews eat chinese food on xmas' thing originate? when we were in nyc me and m'buddy randomly (or so we thought.. collective jew unconscious?) decided to visit chinatown on xmas day, then many months later discovered the meme

― m. (mitchlnw), Saturday, 25 December 2004 00:04 (twenty years ago)

What should agnostics do? Former atheists who once had an anti-religious fervour but are a bit tired with all that sort of thing these days? I mean, I'm technically a Christian, but it's just as hypocritical for me to celebrate shit as it any of you.

Remind me of Jesus's role in the Jewish belief system as I really can't remember if he's anything to you guys.

― Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 25 December 2004 00:07 (twenty years ago)

I changing my name to schweiber!

― cºzen (Cozen), Saturday, 25 December 2004 00:08 (twenty years ago)

one part rabbi, two parts false messiah, plus dim sum

xpost

― m. (mitchlnw), Saturday, 25 December 2004 00:11 (twenty years ago)

So the false messiah bit cancels out the good stuff? Seems a shame considering, but hey, BACK UP THE BRAGGING, PEOPLE.

― Markelby (Mark C), Saturday, 25 December 2004 00:16 (twenty years ago)

mid winter feasting, mark. Humans need regular High days to live well. Strip away the christian crap, and any other religious crap and you get a feast to mark a turning point in the year; the days start getting longer now, life starts creeping back.

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 25 December 2004 00:17 (twenty years ago)

of course, the fact that you can now buy fucking strawberries in britain at this time of year kind of spoils that take on things

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 25 December 2004 00:19 (twenty years ago)

where did the 'jews eat chinese food on xmas' thing originate?

1) jews in america love their chinese food (esp. in nyc and the greater nyc area, where there's both a lot of jews and a lot of good chinese restaurants).

2) during the 20th century (and even today in some places), the only restaurants that stayed open on xmas day were owned and operated by enterprising non-christian immigrants who would rather fill a niche and make a few bucks than have a day off.

3) xmas day is REALLY boring, no matter what religion you are.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 December 2004 00:28 (twenty years ago)

Christmas is really boring after the present orgy, that's why you ask for board games or playstations. We always go to the movies on it. We have occasionaly gotten chinese food. But then again my mom is 1/2 Jewish.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Saturday, 25 December 2004 01:22 (twenty years ago)

I WISH I ASKED FOR NINTENDO DS

― TITS.JPG (ex machina), Saturday, 25 December 2004 04:13 (twenty years ago)

Christmas is one of the busiest days of the year for movies.

― jim wentworth (wench), Saturday, 25 December 2004 04:41 (twenty years ago)

I was gonna go out today to the local two-screen to catch Ocean's 12 but standing outside for the bus for three minutes was enough to send be back inside for the ever-important task of compiling CDR Go! 2004.

Tomorrow I will be hanging out with my folks and watching Duck Soup.

― STOP WITH YOUR PTANS (natepatrin), Saturday, 25 December 2004 05:53 (twenty years ago)

i saw a movie and had korean food and then drunk some glögg at a bar, it was nice. merry christmas dudes!

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 25 December 2004 06:23 (twenty years ago)

3) xmas day is REALLY boring, no matter what religion you are.

is this true? i always imagined that every one else was having loads of fun.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 25 December 2004 06:24 (twenty years ago)

I just watched "A Christmas Carol". Man, that movie rules it. Alastair Sim pwns.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 25 December 2004 06:34 (twenty years ago)

this is a trick question, 'cause if only jews are left on earth, no one would be able to afford xmas anyway, 'cause they'll artificially inflate the cost of everything so sky high that even the rich jews will be priced out of the market by merchant jews, who will in turn go out of business. social chaos and mass cannibalism will result, followed by a jewish messiah who will begat non-jewish jews, followed by a couple thousand years of non-jewish jew vs. jewish jew strife - finally culminating in a film by mel gibson.

― maher shalal hash baz, Saturday, 25 December 2004 14:13 (twenty years ago)

Yeah?
How?

There are people in Eastern Europe who have a genetic immunity to HIV-inflicted AIDS. Slightly different w.b.c. structure or something like that.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 25 December 2004 15:18 (twenty years ago)

Maher, you're reasoning is completely wrong. Pricing will be kept under tight wraps because even the rich Jews will insist on wholesale prices from the merchant Jews.

Jews would NEVER fall for a Xmas price inflation ... for instance, the Xmas propaganda machine has convinced Christians the world over that they MUST purchase goods at inflated prices BY Dec 25 -- even though everybody knows that the same merchandise will sell at drastically reduced cost THE VERY NEXT DAY. The Jews would never fall for that sort of trick.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Saturday, 25 December 2004 16:20 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, Christmas day is pretty dull, in my family we finish presents and breakfast (after presents) by like 10:30 and then that's it until dinner...unless you're with a lot of relatives, then it's fun, but we're not. I've spent the last three hours on the couch finishing a book.

Also last night half of my family sat up watching Return of the King extended edition too! An excellent cross-cultural idea :) (We didn't have Chinese, though, we had cold shrimp and heated up frozen spanikopita.)

― Maria (Maria), Saturday, 25 December 2004 18:23 (twenty years ago)

the rabbis will STILL have to figure out whether or not chickenbear is treyf!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 25 December 2004 20:08 (twenty years ago)

I watched some stupid movie about divorce attys falling in love and packed for my exciting bay area vacation!

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Sunday, 26 December 2004 05:22 (twenty years ago)

but i didn't have chinese -- i had a large cheese pizza, buffalo wings and ranch dressing.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Sunday, 26 December 2004 05:23 (twenty years ago)

Chinese (vegetarian) food (mmm veggie kung pao chicken) and The Life Aquatic. What a good combo.

― Douglas (Douglas), Sunday, 26 December 2004 05:58 (twenty years ago)

For the record, me, Darren SaintEtienne76 and an even split of Jews and gentiles had cracking good Japanese food. Xmas Day went incredibly quickly, helped along by multiple courses and top-ups of sake.

― Japanese Giraffe (Japanese Giraffe), Sunday, 26 December 2004 09:44 (twenty years ago)

during the day: the i love the '80s strikes back marathon.

at night: the court tv masterminds marathon.

also, hot toddies and text messages.

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 26 December 2004 14:11 (twenty years ago)

"Chinese (vegetarian) food (mmm veggie kung pao chicken) and The Life Aquatic. What a good combo."

I did the same, except it was Vietnamese food. Only I didn't like the movie so much. It was ok. It was, as my friend said "something to look at." Good music.

― Hurting (Hurting), Sunday, 26 December 2004 16:48 (twenty years ago)

I have just returned from my fourth X-Mas party in two days. Only one of them was put on by nominal Xtians. The first 3 were at Jewish homes but they were mostly about the tree, presents, food, and gettin' liquored up.

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 27 December 2004 04:05 (twenty years ago)

My sister ordered us the "Nostalgic New York" set from Russ and Daughters. Could you please tell me what are and what to do with the following:

1. little grey slices of fish that swim in a white cole-slaw like paste that is sweet with long spiraling onions

(We placed the topping on lettuce and scooped it up with rye crackers.) Accompanied with chilled vodka. (And my mom's Xmas tomato scallop soup.)

2. a marble chocolate hard cake/loaf like thing that tastes like sesame and peanut butter

we sliced it into little bite-sized pieces and had it with tea

We were proficient enought with the bagels, lox, and sable.

Mazel tov.

― Mary (Mary), Monday, 27 December 2004 21:08 (twenty years ago)

2. a marble chocolate hard cake/loaf like thing that tastes like sesame and peanut butter

Halva. It's yummy.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 27 December 2004 21:28 (twenty years ago)

i spent christmas day taking a greyhound back home from winnipeg. it wasn't as empty as I expected.

― Shmool McShmool (shmuel), Monday, 27 December 2004 22:12 (twenty years ago)

I never found Christmas boring at all. It was very enjoyable into my early teens, if not quite a bit past. I stopped participating because I found it stressful. (My brother in law's prayer which included a line saying that "The light [of the Gospel] has almost gone out in Europe" is an example of the sort of thing I got tired of. That may have been a Thanksgiving prayer though. I don't remember.)

I once took an Israeli Jew out to a (vegetarian) Chinese restaurant. (I'm not sure I can call it a date. I wanted it to be a date, but I'm afraid it was not.) It was kind of funny in retrospect to introduce her to Chinese food, given the Jewish American/Chinese food connection.

― LaRue (rockist_scientist), Monday, 27 December 2004 23:44 (twenty years ago)

hahaha, we went out for all-you-can-eat Japanese/Korean BBQ. We're not jewish though: mennonite and brit descent, but no particular love of christ et al.

― derrick (derrick), Tuesday, 28 December 2004 06:08 (twenty years ago)

eleven months pass...

hey dere jews

― inger lynde (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 25 December 2005 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

i'll have the self-pity and familial shame, and one of those zucchini pancakes too

― inger lynde (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 25 December 2005 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

I think if I were ever alone for Christmas I'd pretend to be Jewish: see three movies and eat my way through Chinatown. The fun of pretending would take the edge off the family-missing.

― Laurel (Laurel), Sunday, 25 December 2005 15:30 (nineteen years ago)

Merry Nondenominational Giftmas, Jewbies!

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 25 December 2005 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

When only Jews are left on Earth . . .

Wait, is that the secret plan?

I am celebrating a three day weekend and that is it.

― Rockist_Scientist (RSLaRue), Sunday, 25 December 2005 15:38 (nineteen years ago)

1. little grey slices of fish that swim in a white cole-slaw like paste that is sweet with long spiraling onions

(We placed the topping on lettuce and scooped it up with rye crackers.)

!!! this is pickled herring, yes co-joos? i actually don't know, but think it's traditional (at least modern traditional) to eat on bagels, though rye bread seems a perfectly acceptable alternative. lettuce, though, may be more of a korean-jewish kind of thing?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Sunday, 25 December 2005 16:18 (nineteen years ago)

Gefilte fish? I can't imagine eating it, though.

― Laurel (Laurel), Sunday, 25 December 2005 18:00 (nineteen years ago)

It sounds like herring to me.

http://www.bagelboss.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/cream_herring_lrg.jpg

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Sunday, 25 December 2005 19:13 (nineteen years ago)

It looked like the thing on top of the fish. We didn't get that package this year though: just the bagels, lox and capers from R & D.

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 25 December 2005 19:19 (nineteen years ago)

i was excited about the big Heeb Magazine hannukah party which i thought was today, but in fact was yesterday. drats.

― phil-two (phil-two), Sunday, 25 December 2005 19:36 (nineteen years ago)

my ancestors ate the grossest food. why anyone chooses to uphold that tradition is beyond me -- otoh, jews do love to suffer.

― inger lynde (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 25 December 2005 21:44 (nineteen years ago)

the producers comes out today 4 da jews

― howell huser (chaki), Sunday, 25 December 2005 23:04 (nineteen years ago)

We're makin' latkes up in this bizzitch!

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 25 December 2005 23:10 (nineteen years ago)

I meant to extend that to Hindus, Moselms, atheists, etc. as well.

I asked a Hindu whether it offended his religious beliefs to be forced to celebrate Christmas, and he said "Dude! it's a day off work! What's the problem?"

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 26 December 2005 00:28 (nineteen years ago)

oh lord

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 26 December 2005 03:31 (nineteen years ago)

my Mom likes R&D's herring with mustard. in June, "when the herring swim in the Baltic," my parents went to the herring festival at Aquavit, where they avoid the swedish meatballs foisted upon them and raid the smorgasboard for... herring!

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 26 December 2005 03:49 (nineteen years ago)

yeah the swedes are into all that whitefish shit too

― inger lynde (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 26 December 2005 03:52 (nineteen years ago)

i can't eat herring anymore :(

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 26 December 2005 03:54 (nineteen years ago)

my Mom can't believe she has children who don't eat herring

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 26 December 2005 03:57 (nineteen years ago)

last night i saw a movie and had chinese food and bought a chinese dvd

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Monday, 26 December 2005 03:58 (nineteen years ago)

SinoSanta

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Monday, 26 December 2005 03:58 (nineteen years ago)

Hi dere!

We went down to Philly again to get together with the same Jewish friend, made some new Jewish friends, went to see a movie (Syriana - but it was so crowded that we sat in the first row and got nauseous and had to leave before it was over), and had Malaysian food (for the first time! Steamed Red Snapper in Ginger Sauce was quite good!).

Oh yeah, we also made latkes, got stoned, ate latkes, and watched Mr. Show.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Monday, 26 December 2005 05:06 (nineteen years ago)

Did you go to Penang? (That's Malaysian, right?) The fish sounds great. The one time I ate there, I had some big fish (I don't know much about fish) with black bean sauce.

― Rockist_Scientist (RSLaRue), Monday, 26 December 2005 05:08 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, it was Penang actually. Some of the food wasn't fantastic but none of it was downright bad, and the fish was suprisingly good.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Monday, 26 December 2005 05:10 (nineteen years ago)

I got over my fear of ordering whole fish with the head on.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Monday, 26 December 2005 05:10 (nineteen years ago)

The Xtian family was all here this year so we had a big ol Xmas dinner. We also lit Chanukah candles. Hell, I couldn't believe they had a Chanukiah + candles. Blew my mind. I was going to light the candles while wearing a Santa hat and it would have made for a great picture but my cousin found a kippah at the last minute. Damn.

― NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Monday, 26 December 2005 05:31 (nineteen years ago)

Happy Hanukah!

― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Monday, 26 December 2005 23:47 (nineteen years ago)

btw, thanks much for the card, rosemary

― kingfish holiday travesty (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 26 December 2005 23:48 (nineteen years ago)

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