What would be the best job/career to have?

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― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 3 January 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

The person at the zoo whose job it is to play with the baby tigers and give them their bottles.

― Je4nne ƒury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 3 January 2005 16:22 (twenty years ago)

Part-time Fuxx0r

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 3 January 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

Heir, gadabout and international playboy.

― dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 3 January 2005 16:24 (twenty years ago)

Orgasm Instructor

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 3 January 2005 16:26 (twenty years ago)

for me....

James Carville
Frank Rich
Frank Gehry

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 3 January 2005 16:28 (twenty years ago)

Swiss Patent Clerk. During all the downtime you could you could do groundbreaking physics, easy.

― Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 3 January 2005 16:33 (twenty years ago)

Project Engineer, Marshall Amplification PLC.

― kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 January 2005 17:11 (twenty years ago)

tenured professor in the liberal or fine arts (whichever field floats your boat)

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 3 January 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

I think Jeanne's answer is the best so far.

― n/a (Nick A.), Monday, 3 January 2005 17:53 (twenty years ago)

David Muench

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 3 January 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

RICHARD SAUL WURMAN

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 3 January 2005 17:55 (twenty years ago)

professional darts player

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Monday, 3 January 2005 17:55 (twenty years ago)

Tom Rolf
Robert Christgau

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 3 January 2005 18:59 (twenty years ago)

Superman

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:06 (twenty years ago)

Full-time dreamerq

― 57 7th (calstars), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

RICHARD SAUL WURMAN
A friend of my wife's aunt- sorry, somebody I sort of know, allegedly wrote an earlier edition of one of those Access Guides, but her byline is long gone.

― Ken L (Ken L), Monday, 3 January 2005 19:21 (twenty years ago)

I got a temp job as Frank Gehry, but they didn't keep me.

― Hurting (Hurting), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 04:26 (twenty years ago)

pr0n star
flight attendant
lorry driver
pun maker
computer games tester
(for girls) dildo tester?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 13:58 (twenty years ago)

Apparently 95% of women don't use their sex toys internally, ken.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

well ingesting them would be stupid.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 14:49 (twenty years ago)

For a girl? Film industry bimbo/ rich guy's lacky/ Playmate.

For a guy? Film industry honcho, rich guy, Playboy magazine editor.

― Ceezah, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 14:56 (twenty years ago)

Photographer of any kind

Superstar and/or radio DJ

Professional footballer

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 15:01 (twenty years ago)

Hugh Hefner/ Holly Valance's gynaecologist have the best jobs ever.

― Ceezah, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 15:11 (twenty years ago)

why would Hugh Hefner have a gynaecologist?

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

My mate used to have to watch film shoots of naked supermodels auditioning for shampoo commercials, then take home the video, watch it several times and make a decision on which one to employ as the face of [major shampoo brand].

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 15:35 (twenty years ago)

Any job involving slim, good looking nekkid girls is good.

― Ceezart, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 15:36 (twenty years ago)

I read this as "have" at first, then I read it as "leave," then I read (correctly) it as "have" again.

I am hating this job today.

― RS LaRue (rockist_scientist), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

I always knew working was going to suck.

― RS LaRue (rockist_scientist), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

My dream job is a tenured professorship teaching only experimental film. Should have went to grad school.....

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

Why were they naked if they were auditioning to be a 'face' (or hair)?

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 15:48 (twenty years ago)

gynaecologist sounds like the worst job to have - so near, yet so far. :\

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

I occasionally get paid (very modestly) to read comic books. THat's pretty fucking rad.

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

Archel, you know those ads where you see women in a shower either with strategically placed arms, or through a fuzzy screen, etc. etc? It was an all-over body wash product rather than a shampoo, anyway.

Gynaecologist = seeing your very favourite thing in an entirely unerotic, regularly ancient and occasionally diseased context - doesn't sound much like fun to me.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

Mark, I'm not suggesting being a gynaecologist for anyone but Holly Valance which would be pretty horny.

― Ceezart, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 16:02 (twenty years ago)

for about a week.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 16:03 (twenty years ago)

Nothing like making someone deeply uncomfortable and then staring at her cervix to get the juices flowing. Only worse mental image on this thread = Hugh Hefner employing a staff gynecologist to accompany him everywhere and inspect potential playmates. (HPV: rarely detectable to the naked eye, but can show up on pap smears!) And Milo: “tenured professor” in general is aiming pretty low, I think.

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, this thread degenerated into sub-eighth-grade trash at fucking high speed. I'm glad somebody thinks ken is funny.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 16:23 (twenty years ago)

it (correctly)
not
(correctly) it

― RS LaRue (rockist_scientist), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

sorry it's all my fault.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 16:27 (twenty years ago)

i wish people would actually contribute answers to this thread, though.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 16:57 (twenty years ago)

The person at the zoo whose job it is to play with the baby tigers and give them their bottles.

This is OTM!!!!

― Allyzay Needs Legs More (allyzay), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 16:59 (twenty years ago)

Representative of the Cosmodrome

― Gator Magoon (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 17:50 (twenty years ago)

I'm thinking fashion photographer - LEGITIMATE! or possibly man-whore.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 18:13 (twenty years ago)

skycaptain

― Frankenstein On Ice (blueski), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 18:15 (twenty years ago)

second best job = movie critic = you get to spend your life making fun of hollywood actors in print.
first best job = movie director = you get to spend your life making fun of hollywood actors TO THEIR FACES.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

Ne'er Do Well
Hermit

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 18:17 (twenty years ago)

Christmas Card Designer.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 18:18 (twenty years ago)

I would say Sky Captain too but with the stipulation that my aeroplane be capable of the following:
1. Safely navigating outside of Earth's atmosphere.
2. Changing shape, into a bipedal armored suit.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 18:26 (twenty years ago)

I would choose skycaptain too, and have tombots 2 stipulations, plus a squadron of anime chicks.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 18:28 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 13 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

High Sheriff of Oxfordshire?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 19:59 (twenty years ago)

Well, as long as you're high.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:00 (twenty years ago)

Masked porno star.

― Triple Ho, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:02 (twenty years ago)

free-lance food or beer taster

― craggy jones, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:06 (twenty years ago)

oh sorry, didn't mean to ruin the path of the thread. i meant free-lance pussy taster.

― craggy jones, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:07 (twenty years ago)

Your cat tastes furry! /Ralph Wiggum Voice

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

forest ecologist (without all the annoying bits). A ranger's life is terribly hard.

I sometimes think I would like to do a completely reactive job where I never had to motivate myself but only to respond to things that happened.

― isadora (isadora), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:10 (twenty years ago)

My dream jobs:

Sportswriter for a major publication
College professor
Librarian
Pet sitter
House sitter

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

a travel writer, without the writing bit

― craggy jones, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:13 (twenty years ago)

Sommelier

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:14 (twenty years ago)

I sometimes think I would like to do a completely reactive job where I never had to motivate myself but only to respond to things that happened.

Professional Mole-Whacker

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

foreign correspondent
sculptor
DJ
Premiership footballer
Erich Von Stroheim

― .adam (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:16 (twenty years ago)

advertising "creative"

― .adam (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

Wasn't it Von Stroheim who had the foot fetish?

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

One of the actors who only does one or two (central) voices on the Simpsons.

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

ad jingle thinker-upper

― craggy jones, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:20 (twenty years ago)

Huk-L, OTMFM

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:20 (twenty years ago)

Ooo, yes, commercial music-maker would be incredible, particularly if you're like me and your music-making attention span is already set around thirty seconds of one thing that sounds nice.

― nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

I am sooo ashamed to know this, but that's what Uncles Jesse and Joey did on Full House!

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

I have known some commercial music-makers, they spend all day in dark bunkers in front of Pro Tools and they don't make a lot of mone.

― .adam (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

We could ask Momus how much.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

And after seeing/hearing the new ads for AutoZone ("if you want it/and you need it/just ask us/and we'll get it"), I really think I could cut it as a jinglist.

― craggy jones, Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

The person at the zoo whose job it is to play with the baby tigers and give them their bottles.

Why stop there? I think the ideal job is the person who is in charge of playing with and giving bottles to all baby cats. Lions, tigers, leopards, etc. All baby cats.

That said, there is something to be said for spending all day in dark bunkers in front of Pro Tools (or your editing suite of choice).

― martin m. (mushrush), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

I was an offline video editor for a while. It is lonely work (and I'm not even a very social person).

― .adam (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 20:57 (twenty years ago)

A professional video editor's companion.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 21:07 (twenty years ago)

They're called runners or PAs.

― .adam (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 4 January 2005 21:10 (twenty years ago)

Lawrence O'Donnell, Jr.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 03:53 (twenty years ago)

Video game tester/quality assurance, obviously. Jesus, people.

Ha! An ex of mine worked for Ubisoft and this is sooo not true. You dont have any say over what game you test and youhave to play not just the same game, but the same LEVEL over and over for a week or more to iron out bugs. When said game is a snow white game aimed at toddlers where nothing happens except eating apples, you can see the problem.

Many friends in games industry - my partner is lead artist for a company wot does PS2 games - and it isnt the glamour everyone thinks. Long unpaid hours, often 7 days a week. You seriously gotta love your gaming to the point of sick obsession to like this kind of work.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 04:08 (twenty years ago)

For me -- a member of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve system. I'd get to belong to the Federal Open Market Committee, which influences U.S. monetary policy! That was my dream job for a long time.

Um, I suspect being an interior designer would be awesome, too.

― Samantha Baker (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 06:44 (twenty years ago)

(Also -- working in some sort of computing/IT capacity for a Federal Reserve bank would be cool, though I don't really want to move to Dallas. I've got to look up the FR online to refresh my memory on where the other main locations would be.)

― Samantha Baker (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 06:48 (twenty years ago)

SAINT LOUIS!

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 07:24 (twenty years ago)

OMG, good point. Maybe in 2007 (when I'm all finished with *this* degree)... ?

― Samantha Baker (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 07:31 (twenty years ago)

I'd like to be in forensics. A forensic photographer maybe.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 07:38 (twenty years ago)

It's really easy to identify the downsides to all of these jobs. All jobs have their crap, but that attitude isn't much fun.

So, I'll say automotive journalist, but not the tired formulaic stuff that C/D spits out. I would write more about design and marketing.

Or Chef.

― supercub, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 08:02 (twenty years ago)

The one where I get to sleep all the time and watch free cable when I'm not sleeping.

― sugarpants (sugarpants), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

One of those eye-in-the-sky helicopter pilot/traffic reporter/radio personality fuckers! I want to do that!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

Or maybe delivering pizzas...with a helicopter.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:47 (twenty years ago)

Nappist Monk

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 19:48 (twenty years ago)

HYPEMAN!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

I'd like to be a forensics model some day.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

Or play one on TV!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

When said game is a snow white game aimed at toddlers where nothing happens except eating apples, you can see the problem.

i still can't see the problem...

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

If you keep eating the apples, you're playing it wrong.

― Huk-L, Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

that is true!!

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:36 (twenty years ago)

Warlord

― .adam (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

a mix-tape maker (90 minutes time is all i need to make you mine) or an assassin.

― ai lien m. draheim (kold_krush), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:14 (twenty years ago)

You can make me an assassin in 90 minutes with a single mixtape? Holy shit, I'm emailing you my address and a cheque!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:17 (twenty years ago)

hi-yah

― ai lien m. draheim (kold_krush), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:18 (twenty years ago)

I met a guy once who was a part-time quality controller for Guinness. He had to go around to different pubs and drink pints of Guinness and rate them.

Some friends of mine were in a Guinness ad once too. They sat in a pub for six hours being given free Guinness (and the pints were constantly being swapped for fresh ones) and they got paid €60 for it.

Both of those jobs would rule.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 5 January 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

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