ken c VS hari a$hur$t: a challenge

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Hey KEN

where's BARBIE???

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:27 (twenty years ago)

that fucking slut?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:29 (twenty years ago)

this one time i drank so much that i passed out and my friends took me camping and i pissed myself and in the morning i complained to my girlfriend (of the time) that i was wet and she swapped places and slept in my pee.

Her parents still call me 'weird hari'

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:31 (twenty years ago)

haha that reminds me of the time when i was really drunk after work and i came home and complained about work to my girlfriend, except she was sleep so i shook her and she just kept blinking, I was so mad.. "STOP BLINKING YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!" and i kept shaking and shaking her and she just kept blinking. so i ripped her head off.

this was when i figured out that her boobs were made of nothing but plastic.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:36 (twenty years ago)

ken, when was the last time you inspected the contents of your pants?

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:37 (twenty years ago)

You know if you shake a baby you could be putting in it mortal danger?

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:37 (twenty years ago)

I KNOW THIS RIGHT!!

HER HEAD FUCKING FELL OFF, HARI!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:39 (twenty years ago)

well, did you at least try to re-attach the head?

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:40 (twenty years ago)

And if so, where?

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:42 (twenty years ago)

she doesn't like it hari. i asked her many times before and she always said she hated head.

she'd go fucking mental if i try it on now she's headless!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:43 (twenty years ago)

Ian Mackaye will never lose his head because he rejects the beer.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:44 (twenty years ago)

is it because he's a pirate?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:47 (twenty years ago)

if he's a pirate then Bez definately has scurvy

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:51 (twenty years ago)

that why it's already quarter past three?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:53 (twenty years ago)

no thats because of God and Jesus.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:54 (twenty years ago)

is it too late to glue barbie's head back?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:57 (twenty years ago)

its never too late with new:

MAN GLUE

the sticky stuff you don't want your mum to see (OR SHE'LL WANT SOME TOO!)

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 22:58 (twenty years ago)

it's not working!! now my hand is stuck to her fucking blinking head!! FUCK!

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:04 (twenty years ago)

hey at least now you can park closer to the supermarket (with your new disability pass)

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

How does that fucking help me now?? I came home drunk, woke up my stupid blinking girlfriend and ripped off her head. And now her stupid blinking head is man-fucking-glued onto my hand, Hari! I'd be in less trouble now if I had just sodomised the pope!

What the fuck am I going to say to the supermarket cashier???? "HI!! YEAH I'M JUST BUYING THIS THINNER COS I'M A SPAZ AND GOT MY HAND STUCK TO MY GIRLFRIEND'S SEVERE HEAD! YES I'D LIKE CASHBACK AND A PACK OF GUM"

I'm fucked.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

just pretend you're taking her head for a walk

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:16 (twenty years ago)

have you ever stuck Manchester United stickers all over your girlfriend's severed head?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:22 (twenty years ago)

if by severed head you mean collectable children's sticker album, then yes Ken, i have.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:27 (twenty years ago)

i was only doing this to make her head look a little like the official manchester united size-5 ball so i can carry it to the supermarket, but now it looks kind of cool

http://img.kelkoo.com/shopbot/34001/medium/57/26/95/57269543.jpg

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:31 (twenty years ago)

you can still see her eyes

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:32 (twenty years ago)

she looks sad

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:34 (twenty years ago)

Well, if you'd just been decapitated, it might make you a little glum too.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:39 (twenty years ago)

maybe ken just forgot to feed her

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:40 (twenty years ago)

she's spent the past 20 years in the limelight of the material world, you know, that's enough to wear anyone down, you know, going out with a rich and insensitive boyfriend with his flashy cars and smart suits (hawaii shirts on holidays) and no soul. with all that money and nice house and nice clothes, all she knows how to do is fucking open her eyes when she's sitting up and close her eyes when she's lying down. it's going to break anybody down hari.

also she's just had her head ripped off with manchester united stickers stuck all over.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:44 (twenty years ago)

does she support city or something?

whats wrong with her

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:46 (twenty years ago)

does she support city or something?

yes

whats wrong with her

she's not from manchester

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 6 January 2005 23:47 (twenty years ago)

She's such a chav.

― Captain GRRRios' Giggletits (Barima), Friday, 7 January 2005 00:00 (twenty years ago)

She's also probably upset about her boyfriend not having genitalia.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 7 January 2005 01:53 (twenty years ago)

I think these two are my current favourite posters to ILX (reading wise). Just wanna say you two crack me up every post (I am high right now - just spreading the love. I love all the other Ilxors too, k?)

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 7 January 2005 03:02 (twenty years ago)

i'm glad somebody finds us funny.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 7 January 2005 07:00 (twenty years ago)

hi-five ken

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Friday, 7 January 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

h1-5 d00D.. but where was the excelsior?? :\\\

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 7 January 2005 11:39 (twenty years ago)

You guys...Ken already knows I love him, but Hari, you are the genuine article also. Props.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 7 January 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

Mmmm sycophancy is my new favourite hobby.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Friday, 7 January 2005 11:52 (twenty years ago)

more effort should be spent on excelsioring

― ken c (ken c), Saturday, 8 January 2005 04:32 (twenty years ago)

one day i'm going to post something that'll blow everybody's mind and i'll be sent to an island to think about what i've done.

and on that island i will drink nothing but wee.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Saturday, 8 January 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

And then make your girlfriend sleep in some.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Saturday, 8 January 2005 15:25 (twenty years ago)

can you preserve things in wee?

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Saturday, 8 January 2005 15:28 (twenty years ago)

you can preserve almost anything in wee

except maybe dignity.

― ken c (ken c), Saturday, 8 January 2005 15:51 (twenty years ago)

see thats where you are sorely pisstaken.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Saturday, 8 January 2005 16:25 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

no shit

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 28 March 2006 12:14 (nineteen years ago)

this is one of those threads where everybody in it needs to be trapped inside all superman 2 style & shot into the sun

― +++, Tuesday, 28 March 2006 14:05 (nineteen years ago)

I once trapped barbie inside an easter egg and threw it off a building. The egg shattered. But barbie was intact. even the head stayed on.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 28 March 2006 14:20 (nineteen years ago)

six years pass...

quite fancy a barbie right now

― Rosie 47 (ken c), Friday, 25 May 2012 14:26 (thirteen years ago)

Her parents still call me 'weird hari'

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Thursday, January 6, 2005 10:31 PM (7 years ago)

― Éden Éden Éden / H.A.Z.A.R.D (nakhchivan), Friday, 25 May 2012 14:39 (thirteen years ago)

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