bipolar disorder

so the shrink diagnosed you. are you taking anything/seeing anyone? i can't tell you much about mania, but you should maybe go back to this dr.

i don't think 'gravity's rainbow' will help!

i take xanax like just now, because i want to sleep, i think i took 6-7 pills just now = 3-3.5 mgs no biggie.

i'm supposed to be taking lexapro but i rarely do because it's shite.

gravity's rainbow is waycool! i was trying to read it before bed but it's trouble in my current condition...however i imagine it would be waycool on acid!!!

i'm really not worried about anything except my life in general. and obv youre right abt the alcs....

but seiously i would LOVE being diagnosed w/ manic-depressive disorder. it might explain so much ... but sigh i guess it's not all that likely.

if i am creeping anyone out w/ all this i'm very sorry. i am a creepy guy but now in this way.

i decided on a double dose of nyquil...how quaint. we'll see what happens.

[xpost]

that's news to me..ithoguht it went manic-depressive-manic repeat.

this thread= definitely better than the one were everyone was telling me i was going to die for eating nothing but sugar and butter.

what was that thread k3rry? and why the fuck are ou up at 4:17 AM?

manic episodes don't always (or even often) end in depression. depression isn't necessarily part of the picture at all, especially initially (but it sounds like you've already been depressed). so the episode you describe from a few weeks back might fit the picture. you can google "manic episode DSM criteria" to see how well your experience matches the textbook definition.

this is important: if you've been taking an antidepressant (many of which are also prescribed for various anxiety disorders) since seing that shrink, stop until you see a doctor. antidepressants can "flip" latent bipolars who are initially depressed into manic episodes.

just as important: see a doctor as soon as you can. if you can get in to see your psychiatrist today (guessing you're up late in north america), and can hold it together until then, that should be fine. otherwise, go straight to the ER.

not good to mix booze and xanax, especially with a dose that big. hopefully, you're so wired it won't snow you.

no more nyquil. no more self-meds.

go to the emerg. or call your shrink's office (they'll have a message telling you what to do in an emergency).

shut im fucked, hi pe i dont sound like one of those hippes "DUDE I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKED UP DUDE". but yest iam. o yjoml o ,au ne an;e tp s;ee[ mpw' tru s;e[....yeah i'm feelin nt now, 'gdnit all.....goocniht,

drugs suck

you'll sleep til saturday.

when you wake up, go see a doctor.

Also i've apparently got post-traumatic stress disorder but I really don't feel like i've got that either.

I guess I should take the doctors word for it, but I just feel like me.

no seriously i just-just woke up...it's still friday! thank heavens.

my last post of the night was "merry christmas to you all!!!" but i must've been too wasted to sumbit and i erased that one just now...

as for my health n shit i'm not worried about it all actually [well except for the diabetes]. but i really appreciate all the sympathy here...i'll post again when i've had a few more hours to...recoup

the worst thing about drugs (any of 'em) is that after they wear off you feel lke you gotta do more (imo, more because of the realizationthat the world/you life is so god damn boring than anything physical)...but i'm gonna try to abstain and just read GR allday which is almost the same thing anyway.

ALSO VERY VERY SORRY to those i offended re bipolarity...what i meant was a)it would explain a lot about me b) of the mental diseases i've read about, it seems ok-ish, sort of. like the human experience taken magnified, taken to the very edge, kinda....maybe i'll explain later, i'm not groggy at all but i've still got that weird crossover thing going on in my mind, like MY experience last night in miniature.

The dude really was nuts and not just some guy writing a fake article. I'll see if I can find it. Of course, he Robotripped a lot I'm sure, but you don't sound like you need to Robotrip ever.

haha trace there were some terrible aftershocks the likes of which i didn't think possible. the next day was far-far worse mind-stability wise.

but yeah gimlet i dunno how i can say this w/out um sounding like a total & complete asshole so just know that my sympathies go out to you in full but nevertheless SCREW YOU for reviving this thread. uh :-)

i will post a serious reply or two later cuz i am kinda worried about this, uh gimlet what are yr symptoms like?

if it's any comfort to anyone i have absolutely no recollection of any of this (except mookie's post, strangely).

I have to admit, when I read this I also got a bit worried about the situation. When I went to the hospital and told them what I'd been doing they gave me a hard look and told me they could commit me for trying to kill myself, but I just wanted to sleep. It definitely reminded me of myself.

I'm just at a loss right now. I need to 'recover' but don't know how.

I don't think that there are any rules of time that bipolar episodes follow. I didn't really have a depressive episode in between the two extreme-manic episodes.

is it a matter of wasting someone's time? I'm new to this online message board stuff, but I just assume that people who want to answer will answer and those who don't won't no big deal....

fact that i am reading a lot of what i wrote up there and loling = clear sign i am totally gone

but really, not worth it 3-4 years down the line.

Zyprexa, psychosis, blah.

might just do that.

"manic episodes are dangerous for bystanders."

OTM :(

i can understand why robocop might feel depressed

Recipient or deliverer, Abbs?

Just thinkin baot my past. Recipient, this time, tho.

I have a new friend who is bipolar and I am learning not to flinch in the face of such danger. I have found that it is comforting to look at lists of famous and historical figures who may have been bipolar. "Perhaps my friend will be the next Isaac Newton or Carrie Fisher - We should continue to hang out!"

Also, lol at Jim Bean.

hahaha next Carrie Fisher.

Downtown there is a poster of all the famous people who have had bipolar. Wow! So talented! But half of them, at least, are suicides. Oh.

I got diagnosed with this in 2004 or so but I don't think I really have it. Paradoxically, saying that is the kind of thing that makes you look crazy, so I know I am probably getting some roll-eyes right now. But, I'll explain why I think this.

The reason I was diagnosed, is I told a doctor that I was still crying and upset, and sometimes having panic attacks, even though I was on an antidepressant. The doctor, who basically had heard as much of my history as that sentence said, "Antidepressants alone can make people with bipolar disorder go into a manic phase. You must have bipolar." The reason I wasn't maybe more incredulous about accepting this at face value is my #1 fear at this time in my life was: the fear of going crazy. SO, it confirmed my worst fears, even though that was the only piece of evidence she was using, and if you compare the DSM-IV's standards to what was going on with me, there was only moderate overlap at best, and a lot of that stuff was situational, eg I had a lot of fucked up stuff happening in my lie at that point.

So I went on extra medication, and then more and more extra medication. It was expensive, and unpleasant, and each extra side effect., my doctor decided to treat with another medication. Like, I think this doctor was being somewhat irresponsible (dift doctor than original doctor). I told her I couldn't sleep and she gave me fucking seroquel, an anti-psychotic w/some crazy side effects (did put me to sleep tho).

So, throughout this time, I moved around, and saw different doctors and therapists. When I would ask one of them, "Do you think I am really bipolar?" they would say, "Well, what do you think?" Which is completely fucking useless, imo. Would you say that to someone who asked, "Do you think I have cancer?" (Not to say the two are equivalent in any way, just to point out how diagnostically ridiculous this is.) They would never answer me. I never felt like I got a real clinical opinion on this, but at any rate, none of them were willing to say, "Yes," or even "here's what I think."

In Sept. of 2009, I told my therapist I didn't want to be on medication anymore, and I went off of all my medications successfully. I was a student still and previous to this, throughout my undergrad career I had failed about 1/4 of my classes for a lot of reasons, mostly due to me acting nutty and freaking out, not showing up to class, or just being lazy. Anyway, the semester after I stopped taking medication, I did great. Straight A's, 18 credits, while working at the same time. Then a five-week summer semester, two classes, A's in those, too. I have not been having a lot of the symptoms I had before, and I think a lot of them were just medication side effects. I have never once in my life had something that could be accurately labeled a manic phase.

I feel like I just needed to do a lot of growing up, and figure a lot of things out about myself, and in the process of that, I ended up with this very big, very awkward, very scary label.

I think I am sharing this with you guys because I want you to know I have a different idea about who I am, and that I'm really happy with it. I like myself, and, I like making TLDR posts. So, thanks for coexisting with me.

they diagnosed my wife as bi-polar after we had our son and she ended up with post-partum psychosis. Two years later and completely off her meds for a year and a half, there are zero signs of bipolar disorder. Doctor told her that they diagnosed her with bipolar because they thought it was brought on by the psychosis. He changed his mind.

thanks for posting, abbott. not too long DID read

adding drugs on top of drugs, esp when the first thing wasn't that clear, yeah, seems like bad doctoring

I had just discovered "not being Mormon" at the time and I was definitely doing some "minister's kid" type trying on bad behavior, but nothing like that could be genuinely labeled "you have a mental disorder."

A lot of doctors seem to believe that antidepressants are 'magic', and just prescribe more drugs when the initial batch don't reduce the depression. But the reality is that antidepressants don't work for everyone, in some cases can actually increase anxiety. SSRI class meds certainly increased mine.

<3

thanks for sharing everyone

I have been "diagnosed" with a lot of crap that doesn't make sense but I'm not going off any meds anytime soon. The first time I got checked out for any mental illness was in highschool when I thought I had social anxiety. And I do have social anxiety. But I never had one diagnosis since then that has made complete sense. After my stupid "life sucks" suicide stint I ended up trying tons of meds and haven't been off some combination of meds since then. It kind of sucks that I don't know what it would be like without meds but then again I have never had a good opportunity to go off of them. Plus, I just went up on my ADD med and it's making me more motivated (ADD is a completely new "partial" diagnosis for me. I don't even know the names of the other diagnoses I've had but partial Bi-Polar was one of them I think).

some combination of

Anyone got any good advice or experience with treating bipolar without medication, like through CBT or something?

I got manic and offended some people on ILX when I got blunt and uninhibited. I apologize for hurting peoples feelings.