Da The Vinci Code: Da Movie (boy howdy, is it going to SUCK)

When I forsaw it becoming a BIG TIME BLOCKBUSTER, for some reason I imagined at least some semi-interesting casting a la Ralph Fiennes and Audrea Tatou. No.

I have realized recently, however, that without planning on it at all, my Gordon Nightingale novel is a Da Vinci Code parody written years before the fact. This could be handy as a sales hook...

And really, Ron Howard seems as appropriate a director for this as anyone, as it read just like a Ron Howard Action Movie. I am a bit relieved it's not BRUCKHEIMER. But TOM FUCKING HANKS as Langdon. No.

"This...painting...I think it's...exactly...the answer to the...secrets...we've been searching...FOR."

there will be lots of press about how this is the anti-christ of the passion and that will be fun especially if the bushco is in more hot water then

this Delpy chick isn't *that* rough is she?

Eh, maybe.

{{{{{{{{{{{it's a novel about how mary magdalen's vergin is the holy grail jesus drank from. funny, huh? they had kids who started a family line still going today, to which either Denise Richards or Julie Delpy is heir. implications are men and women are equal. very very irritating to born agains. the whole thing is framed by indiana jones adventure (that's the tom hanks character)}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

wow, these are even better than the Gamefaqs msgboards

Aww DIP.

You completely made this up. Please tell me that this is completely made up. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA wow. That sounds like a great book, wtf.

(sorry the mabinogion is the welsh legend cycle or something yes i know)

I wouldn't know.

Meroveus (c-411-456) (Merovech, sometimes Latinised as Meroveus or Merovius) was a chief of the Salian Franks from 448-456. He is considered a semi-legendary individual, as not much information is extant about him. Gregory of Tours records him but it is not clear if he was the son of Clodian or a leader who assumed power on Clodian's death.

His descendants called themselves Merovingians, as the founder of what is referred to as the Merovingian Dynasty.

Some researchers have noted that Merovech, the Frankish chieftain, may have been the namesake of a certain god or demigod honored by the Franks prior to their conversion to Christianity, a being described as part human, part bull and part sea-creature.

It was alright. Bit nutty, but hey.

FUCK THE CSI SHIT

ALFRED MOLINA WUZ ROBBED

haha holy shit

OMG SELF-FLAGGELATON

OMG BESTEST FRIEND IS WACKJOB

OMG JESUS GOT HIS RED WINGS ON

SO DARK THE DUMBEST OF SHIT

So, sequel?

Has Tom Hanks' gut swelled any?

He's wearing a Speedo they say.

The Del Monte Code.

curious to see this if only for the "omg how is this PG-13" of it all

http://images.ctv.ca/archives/CTVNews/img2/20090514/450_angels1_090514.jpg

bring the kids!

What is that, SuperMcGregor?

Some combination of "plucked out eyeballs, roasting cardinals, rats gnawing off the faces of dead priests" if the reviews are to be believed.

Just another wacky day in the Vatican.

this is pretty doofy

Fun doofy or dull doofy?

funner than #1 (which was so bizarrely solemn and reverent IIRC), but pretty dull overall. it's mostly tom hanks and that lady running from one roman church to another, solving puzzles and finding corpses.

Technically this is #1, being a prequel and all. But lets not argue about calling shit shit.

This is all penance from Ron Howard for doing EdTV.

the book was a prequel, this one's been engineered to be a sequel.

it's not a prequel - the book was but they turned it into a sequel

it's not a prequel, the book came out a couple of years BEFORE da vinci code

There is the theory of the Moebius.

just fyi - prequel comes before sequel, but they did it the other way around here

Physicist Leonardo Vetra smelled burning flesh, and he knew it was his own.

I heard that they changed it so the events of the book (which was published before The Da Vinci Code) happen in this movie after the events of the last movie. So basically what they did was make what would have been a prequel into a sequel.

define 'prequel' - not sure what you're getting at there

prequel: like Nyquil, but more of a snooze.

a prequel is like a sequel but instead of the events that comprise the plot of the sequel, the prequel takes place at a prior time to the events of the preceding film.

basically with this movie they're doing it as a sequel instead of a prequel. usually a sequel takes place AFTER the events of the previous film. but the book this sequel is based on takes place BEFORE the last movie, so if it was adapted verbatim it would be by definition a prequel. but this time they're doing it as a sequel instead of a prequel.

slash writers should start calling their work "freakquels"

Well, the buzz about this one is that it's a sequel instead of a prequel, which is what the film would normally be (a prequel), as the book takes place before the events of the Da Vinci Code. But instead it's a sequel, not a prequel.

The second sequel is sometimes called the "threequel". Normally a sequel refers to a movie that takes place AFTER the events of the first but BEFORE the threequel. A sequel or a threequel that takes place before the preceding movie is a prequel.

I'm not sure what a threequel that is the prequel to the sequel is called, but I hear that Angels and Demons is a sequel to the Da Vinci Code.

A threequel that's the prequel to the sequel is in fact the original movie.

wait, this is actually a threequel?

it's a treequel because people in the theatre LEAVE before the movie is over

r&b theme song by Shaniquel

a sneaquel because no one should pay to watch it?

OK, I saw Angels and Demons
Here's my review with no spoilers

If you read the book then you will leave the movie angry (like my sister)

If you like action films + national treasure type plots (or Indiana Jones type plots *I put this in parentheses because Indiana Jones shouldn't be mentioned in same sentence as the previous films, except the new one)) then you will like Angels and Demons. I liked it! But I also liked Star Trek and some friend of mine on the internet said Stark Trek was just one-liners and explosions. I respect anti-establishment sentiments but I think that movie was great. Angels and Demons would be good in comparison.

Angels and Demons is a movie you'd only watch once but you would leave the movie thinking that it was a good way to spend two hours. (unless you fall into one of the categories I mentioned above).

*the categories of people who wouldn't like it.

Great, now my review lacks clarity because I needed an asterisk. If the fact that I have to clarify what I meant in this 2nd post upsets you then I would suggest you don't see this movie.

there's always some anal entity just waiting to be pissed off

there was a star trek episode about that

Argh:

Imagine/Sony's Angels & Demons this weekend became the No. 1 grossing global hit released to date this year. Of it's $409M, Angels & Demons has generated $292.9M in the international marketplace, including $22.2M this weekend from overseas. It also has a new North American cume of $116.1M after making $6.5M this weekend. Best performing territories for the film include the United States, Germany, Japan, Italy, UK and Russia.

Watched this last night only because we're friends with someone who worked on the film (also it's her face that's used for the melting nun in Illuminati Triptych Church #3). Kept thinking of a first-person shooter movie called "Agatha Christie & Monty Python Church Police."

Watched Knowing just before it and concluded that both movies would have been much better had cast/crew switched projects with each other.

https://archive.ph/uzC9L

^ a review on a book about Opus Dei