Pitch movie ideas that involve Vin Diesel

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Vin Diesel is sedated by a malfunctioning robot (played by the animated corpse of Marlon Brando). When he awakes he is in a massive empty room. He must find some clothes or face humiliation on the outside world.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:39 (twenty years ago)

LYNSKEY TO THREAD!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

vin and shaq play rival bar bouncers that team up when a seven year old girl is kidnapped by drug dealers. tentative title: da double diesel dirty.

― j blount (papa la bas), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

In this Politically Correct action thriller Vin Diesel travels to India to investigate an Alien sighting. Will feature the soon to be immortal line "Why is this region continuously reporting UFO sightings from various kinds of people?".

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:43 (twenty years ago)

Okay, this was posted by LYNSKEY over on the Da The Vinci Code Movie thread:

http://www.coastaltown.nildram.co.uk/porl/DAVINCI.jpg

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:44 (twenty years ago)

In a shift of direction, Vin Diesel plays a high school English teacher who is fired due to state budget cuts, who, in desperation for work, goes overseas to teach English to a classroom full of cute, rambunctious little Japanese schoolchildren. Hilarity ensues.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:46 (twenty years ago)

VIN DIESEL AS THE NEWEST, WORST BOND EVER.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:47 (twenty years ago)

Vin Diesel drive cars fast, make stuff go boom, kiss pretty girl. BOX OFFICE GOLD.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:47 (twenty years ago)

wow i didn't even see that before i made this thread

xpost

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:47 (twenty years ago)

breaking codes means BREAKING SKULLZ ha ha

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:48 (twenty years ago)

Vin Diesel plays a man in pain. Except this time he's taken one too many of the wrong kind of pill. Whoops.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:49 (twenty years ago)

Vin Diesel has a hard time in America 2025, where woman are now the rulers, and they just passed legislation taking away liberties from anyone who is male. Vin needs to make it through life in these new progressive and hard times. Vin has a plan...

Vin Diesel in..
LEZ GET BUSY

― donut christ (donut), Monday, 10 January 2005 21:52 (twenty years ago)

Vin Diesel is a man. A man... with a face. A man with a face... with eyes. A man... WITH A PAST... HE... CAN'T... SEE.

Vin Diesel is a man, who must explore and uncover the secrets of his mysterious past before HE RUNS OUT OF TIME. With a gun.

Vin Diesel is a man who told me... you had a boyfriend.... who looks like a girlfriend... that he had in February last year.

/trailer voiceover

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Monday, 10 January 2005 22:07 (twenty years ago)

Vin Diesel plays a British soldier In 19th century India who with the help of a native waterbearer must stop a secret mass revival of the murderous Thuggee cult before it can rampage across the land,
in 'Gunga Vin'

― Masked Gazza, Monday, 10 January 2005 22:15 (twenty years ago)

Vin Diesel plays a 'Jesus'-like massiah figure when the worlds oil supplys run out. He invents a brilliant wine converting machine.

Working title: Vine Diesel.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Monday, 10 January 2005 22:17 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/lynskey/DELI.jpg

― Bernard the Butler (Lynskey), Monday, 10 January 2005 22:24 (twenty years ago)

Witty and world-weary, Henry Glaive thinks he's seen it all, and that it could really dress better. Until one day, he comes across a villain so ruthless that not even the most splendid velvet jacket could ever truly crush him.

It's time for.. Vin Die'siecle

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Monday, 10 January 2005 22:25 (twenty years ago)

x-post hahahahaha!

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Monday, 10 January 2005 22:25 (twenty years ago)

Vin Diesel plays Adam who will recieve a billion dollar inheritance provided he has committed a series of inventive and peculiar crimes
by the end of 30 days. He also dies and goes to heaven where God makes him answer for humanity's primal vice.

Working title: Original Vin

― Masked Gazza, Monday, 10 January 2005 22:25 (twenty years ago)

Vin Diesel plays a dog.

Vin Tin Tin.

― **%@, Monday, 10 January 2005 22:30 (twenty years ago)

Vin Diesel in drag, undercover, trying to uncover an international diamond smuggling operation. The rest of the movie isn't important, but we can get people into the theater by showing two scenes in the trailer:

-Vin walking down a cobblestone street in stilletto heels. A passerby looks at him and he says "what are you looking at?" and hits the guy with his overstuffed handbag.

-And the main hook .. cut to Vin saying "Giiirl, oh no you di-i" followed by explosion.

box office gold in the first week. (to video the second week.)

― dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 10 January 2005 22:49 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/lynskey/YOULIED.jpg

― Bernard the Butler (Lynskey), Monday, 10 January 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

omg the fine print

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 10 January 2005 23:23 (twenty years ago)

Vin's a cop. A hardworking cop who sometimes doesn't play by the rules and gets pulled up by his superintendant. His partner doesn't play by the rules either BECAUSE HE'S A ROOSTER. Until one day they get in a sticky situation where only one of them can come out alive.
COCK OR VIN?

― Nellie (nellskies), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/lynskey/STRICT.jpg

― Bernard the Butler (Lynskey), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

Isn't the subtitle "Strictly Come Diesel"?

*tumbleweeds*

― Captain GRRRios' Giggletits (Barima), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 16:03 (twenty years ago)

Vin works at a lumberyard. Jim Jarmusch comes by now and again for coffee and smokes. The two just look at each other.

― 57 7th (calstars), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 16:43 (twenty years ago)

Now now. Malcolm Christie was quite good when he was at Derby. It only went tits up when he went to Boro.

Vin Diesel as Joe Meek in 'Don't You Wave That Mop At Me'

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 18:20 (twenty years ago)

Vin Diesel is a hard-driving jockey down on his luck. Everyone says he's too big to be a champion racer, but he has heart. To make ends meet he takes a job as a petting zoo and reconnects with the inner child he never knew he had. There, he befriends a very special horse who believes in him, and together they take the grand prix.

It's Vin Diesel in a... Photo Vinish!

"Big man, little horse... big laughs!"

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 07:02 (twenty years ago)

Vin Diesel inserts things into his anus. Various things. Then he is bukakked upon by the cast of The Kids in the Hall. Fade to black.

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 07:25 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

TRUTH IS INDEED STRANGER THAN FICTION

― donut debonair (donut), Thursday, 3 March 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

The action star/marble-mouthed part-time nanny is starting to get the idea that his vision for his pet project, Hannibal the Conqueror, might never be realized.

“I got a budget back from a studio that said it would cost $217 million. So I said, ‘I know I’m not the smartest guy in the world but $217 million, doesn’t that mean that this film will never get made?’

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 3 March 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

"He's got a really nice mouth," the actress observes. "And he'll let you rub the top of his head because it's all bald up there, you know what I mean? You can be, like, 'Woooooooo!' 'What will the genie grant me today?!' I never actually did that. If I did, I don't think I'd be standing here."

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 6 March 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

he's in the next sidney lumet film, if the clips from the Oscars are to be believed.

― kyle (akmonday), Sunday, 6 March 2005 16:59 (twenty years ago)

if hollywood denies me my right to watch Vin ride an elephant over a mountain range for three hours I will never forgive them

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 6 March 2005 17:13 (twenty years ago)

A remake of The Exorcist with Vin as Father Merrin.

― Zarr, Sunday, 6 March 2005 17:16 (twenty years ago)

Vin should say fuck it, buy some elephants and film the damn thing Fitzcarraldo style.

― miccio (miccio), Sunday, 6 March 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"

― The Argunaut (sexyDancer), Sunday, 6 March 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

Vin plays Michel Foucault in "Foucault To Lose".

Set in 1970s San Francisco, Vin Diesel plays brilliant French philosopher Michel Foucault, forced to assume the identity of a gay man in order to infiltrate the notorious bathhouse scene. A serial killer is at large, murdering senior members of the Republican party in the style of mid-18th Century French regicides. Only one man - Foucault - is able to deconstruct the semiology behind these slayings.

Based on a True Story.

― Ferlin Husky (noodle vague), Sunday, 6 March 2005 20:11 (twenty years ago)

"I'd buy THAT for a dollar, too!"

― The Argunaut (sexyDancer), Sunday, 6 March 2005 20:40 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/lynskey/STRICT.jpg

so, i'm playing his sidekick?

― latebloomer: my cats are wobderful (latebloomer), Sunday, 6 March 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

http://www.memorygongs.com/donnie%20diesel.jpg

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 7 March 2005 00:16 (twenty years ago)

That was a real rush job, it looks pretty crappy haha. Sorry.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 7 March 2005 00:17 (twenty years ago)

Photoshop these next!

http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/diesel-pacifier-frames.jpg

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Monday, 7 March 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

Someone please photoshop "LET'S BE 'AVIN' YA: THE DELIA SMITH STORY"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 7 March 2005 00:46 (twenty years ago)

i think this would totally work:

http://www.imagemagician.com/images/grimstitch/TOE.jpg

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 7 March 2005 00:49 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha Kim!

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 7 March 2005 00:53 (twenty years ago)

"That's the first time I ever quit punching first!"

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Monday, 7 March 2005 02:51 (twenty years ago)

I've never laughed so hard in my life! That Terms of Vindearment thing is OH MY.

― 57 7th (calstars), Monday, 7 March 2005 03:46 (twenty years ago)

Well since the studios want him to have such a motherly quality about him now, it just seems like the natural progression. I'd go ahead and show you the poster for "Driving Miss Diesel" to make the point further, but I have to go to work.

― Kim (Kim), Monday, 7 March 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/sexymollusk/vincoldblood.jpg

― latebloomer: my cats are wobderful (latebloomer), Monday, 7 March 2005 13:53 (twenty years ago)

i liked him in Boiler Room.

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Monday, 7 March 2005 14:04 (twenty years ago)

Can I say how much this thread fucking rocks? I give it a 14 out of 10. It has a good beat and I can danz to it.

― donut debonair (donut), Monday, 7 March 2005 20:10 (twenty years ago)

Who has read his introduction to the history of TSR or D&D or whatever? I've heard it's pretty great.

― David "Zeb" Cook, Monday, 7 March 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

Vin Diesel is the new Steven Seagal

― EComplex (EComplex), Tuesday, 8 March 2005 04:22 (twenty years ago)

http://pagesixsixsix.com/uploads/img422ddce2d1f8f.jpg

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 10 March 2005 02:53 (twenty years ago)

"I'm, too sexy for this skirt, too sexy for this skirt..."

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 March 2005 03:25 (twenty years ago)

i like vin diesel. this and tapered sweat pants will live haunt me forever.

he plays d&d, loves sciene fiction. he's written and directed before. he just seems like a nice talented guy who only gets parts that are big macho action dude flicks. watch some of his tv appearences for proof.

― jane (jane), Thursday, 10 March 2005 03:30 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/rob_brennan/ilx/vin_the_mood_for_love.jpg

― lock robster (robster), Thursday, 10 March 2005 09:21 (twenty years ago)

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