I'm inexplicably upset.

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For some reason I can't help but feel completely upset, like it's all just got too much and I want to cry. Fair enough, but I have nothing to be upset about... in fact today's gone pretty good for me--I have a lot to be happy about.

Perhaps I have seasonal affective disorder and the dismal weather is making me feel bad or something, maybe I'm just lonely (there isn't really anyone to talk to knocking around this week), maybe I just need to get over it. Who knows?

I'm not quite sure what I'm expecting by starting this thread. Perhaps writing this will make me feel better. Perhaps I'm seeking some kind of explanation from people as to why I would feel like this. Perhaps I need sympathy. Awww for me.

Anyway, thanks for listening!

(T minus one minute to post-remorse)

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

If you're like me, tissp, you'll feel this way because for the past few weeks or months, you've been internalising small disappointments, worries etc. and they've been bubbling away in there and now your worry-store is full.

God I sound like a hippy.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:10 (twenty years ago)

The Tsunami?

― lukey (Lukey G), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:12 (twenty years ago)

smoke a bowl

― Space Is the Place (Space Is the Place), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:13 (twenty years ago)

Sorry to hear that. I feel like this a lot, especially in January. When the bells rang out on New year I burst into tears - I always do.

I'm often crying for no reason, I was diagnosed with depression a good few years ago, though in your case it does just sound like a combination of the shitty dull weather and the time of year.

Hope you feel sunnier soon!

― Rumpington Lane, Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

I'm not sure if it is a sum of minor disappointments, because things have been pretty good since before Christmas, but I know what you mean and I've certainly had that happen with me in the past.

The Tsunami is pretty grim, and though I sympathise, I don't tend to get choked up at them, unless it's hit me at some subconcious level (there's a chance I may be going out there as a volunteer, so perhaps this is a possibility. I don't think so though).

Space: good suggestion, high backfire potential though.

Rumpington Lane: Thanks, I'm sorry to hear about the tears at New Year. Maybe I should see a doctor about depression again--I did once and they were asking me things like, "do you ever think about hurting other people?". WTF?

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:20 (twenty years ago)

immerse yourself in whatever cheers you up - favourite music, tv, films, food, places, people...but not necessarily stuff you already know so well, if that makes sense

― Stevem On X (blueski), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:23 (twenty years ago)

I wish I could offer reasons why. I am feeling fed up & a bit sad today for no apparent reason. I think I'm feeling "hard done by" in several areas. I hope you're feeling better soon though!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:23 (twenty years ago)

DO you ever think about hurting other people? Hmm?

I'm afraid that if I was asked this my answer would have been yes...

― Rumpington Lane, Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

Get laid. It doesn't work for me, but maybe..?

― Captain GRRRios' Giggletits (Barima), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

"DO you ever think about hurting other people?"

Well, yes, but not in the sense I assumed they meant it... I don't think it helped that I had been press-ganged into going to the doctors by people and hence wasn't as open-minded as I could have been.

Thanks Pink, hope you're feeling better soon too!

(xpost)

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

go out and do something. It's a cliché I know but if you kind of abandon whatever you're caught up in for the day and go and do something it can be really cool.

Like, for example, ring a friend, suggest you go to a museum or something, anything, something you're interested in and can do in the day. then go out for a meal afterwards.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:33 (twenty years ago)

I think the idea of getting out and doing something is urgent and key, as I'm not looking forward to going home from work to spend another night moping about on the internet. Trouble is, no one's about so it would be stuff on my own... maybe the cinema would be a good idea.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:36 (twenty years ago)

Cinema is perfect tissp!!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

Do you drive and/or own a camera? I find the perfect remedy is to go out and find pretty landscapes, buildings, seascapes etc to photograph. Could turn into an interesting hobby/project too and it helps you see beauty in stuff.

Sorry if that last bit sounds twee but doing these things makes my own heart soar a bit and cheers me immensely. ;-)

― Rumpington Lane, Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

Re: cinema - it definitely is a cool plan, so long as you're not adverse to swapping one screen for another (I slept through part of The Merchant Of Venice last week).

Re: camera, assuming you're UK, the weather's too sucky for it.

― Captain GRRRios' Giggletits (Barima), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

Actually, I mean that as a positive.

― Captain GRRRios' Giggletits (Barima), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

I ventured up north in blizzard conditions on the 2nd of Jan and got some excellent photos of the hills. If I want me photies to reflect my country then I'm going to be in for a few soakings before the season is out!

― Rumpington Lane, Tuesday, 11 January 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

I do drive and own a camera, but the weather is horrible here and it's going dark already. I'll check out the cinema times. Alternatively I could just go out to some random bars in an attempt to meet similarly bored people looking for company, but I've tried this before and it failed.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

museums are great, they're indoors and just full of interesting things. Sometimes they can be overwhelming when you're in a fragile state, but I found sometimes that if you're brimming with emotion, art or music will let you add to it more (or change its nature from anger to inspiration) and then you can sort of pour it all out...it gives you a conduit, like.

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

I must have seasonal affective disorder because every autumn I start to feel depressed and it doesn't let up until March or April.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 16:53 (twenty years ago)

I never thought of a museum as being able to do that, teeny, but I guess I've never been in one whilst in a fragile emotional state...I'll try and remember the next time. Shame the Fitzwilliam musuem closes at 5--I've still yet to go in... (xpost)

Apparently someone here at work had seasonal affective disorder so bad they transferred him to the office in Austin! I am suspicious of the truth of this though.

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Tuesday, 11 January 2005 17:10 (twenty years ago)

Utterly rubbish but engaging conspiracy theory novels are the answer for me. My friend leant me a Katherine Neville novel that makes Dan Brown look like The Bill, which is distracting me from general downness during those dangerous periods during which life stretches out to infinity.

There are times when you can sit and think and puzzle your way out of general malaise and upset, and other times when you just need to be distracted from it.

PMT and SAD hitting at the same time, now that's a recipe for disaster.

― Masonic Boom-Boom (kate), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 09:48 (twenty years ago)

Turned out that a friend was in town, so we went out for drunken debauchery--so it wasn't all bad, and I feel good now. Thanks for the suggestions and sympathies, y'all :)

Kate, completely agree on the conspiracy novel thing--I'm reading "The Holy Blood and The Holy Grail" at the moment and it's grebt. Although the conspiracy theory section on my bookshelf is a little emaciated... any suggestions?

― tissp! (the impossible shortest specia), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 10:23 (twenty years ago)

HBHG is the great grandaddy of them all. (Actually, no, that's not true, The Secret Teachings of All Ages by Manlius P. Hall is the great grandaddy of them all, but it's pretty tough going, and quite rare these days.) Anything else by the same authors, especially their book about Freemasonry is fantastic.

Like I said, I'm digging on Katherine Neville at the moment. The Eight is a good, fun, international chess conspiracy theory book, and I'm halfway through The Magic Circle right now, but it just feels like it's going to go down HBHG territory any minutes now...

― Masonic Boom-Boom (kate), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 10:28 (twenty years ago)

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