Fatalistic Celibacy: C/D

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Some of us are born to sweet delight
Some of us are born to endless night

I have not gotten any in over two years. Seeing couples still stings and occassionally I get weepy putting myself down and/or imagining the rest of my life loveless. But I've also accomplished many things since last hitting it. Giving up hoping to get some seems to have cleared out my thoughts in ways I didn't experience when conforming to someone's else's expectations occupied me socially.

I could just be fooling myself though. It might even be easier to accomplish things when supported in a healthy relationship. Who knows.

― Aphrodite, Wednesday, 12 January 2005 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG i am being fatalistically celibate RIGHT NOW! classic!

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

the problem with sex is that you can go months without having it and be fine and then you have it once and suddenly you're like scarface with the big pile of blow

-- strongo hulkington (dubplatestyl...), April 23rd, 2004.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I read this as fantastic celibacy.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I WAZ A MONK 4 SEVERAL YEARS:

now i "regret" it (no i don't but i did decide STOP BEING A MONK).

i have decided to ingest random controlled substances into my body. BUT this is NOT GOOD becuz i am the SON of the county prosecuting attorney AND I LIVE WITH HIM. so now i have to move. that means getting a job. which i have not done.

HOW THIS RELATES TO CELIBACY: monks do not have sex nor do i. y? the act of penetration titilates but also horrifies. HORRIFIES. ugh. this is fine with me.

in sum Y I WILL NEVER DO DRUGS: THEY ARE BAD FOR U.

― John (jdahlem), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 19:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope that John's answer has sufficiently cleared up Aphrodite's question and put her feet upon the true path.

― Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha! john you're so funny!

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 19:51 (twenty-one years ago)

You can think you're not going to get laid for eons. I think it's normal to go through a 'monk' phase, especially if you're depressed. This happened to me, and it changed overnight when I least expected it. So it's easier if you just accept it as normal.

― Yr3k (dymaxia), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 19:59 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, when it happens, it does just sort of happen

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

that was fucking profound

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Profound fucking vs fatalistic celibacy

― Bumfluff, Wednesday, 12 January 2005 22:07 (twenty-one years ago)

When I stop looking for sex = when I actually get some.

I swear, women can SMELL it when you've not had any in some time and are thus ON THE PROWL.

Anyway, speaking as one who's had dry spells that lasted up to two years:

DUD SQUARED.

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 22:42 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, ain't nothing classic about it (except maybe jess' quote).

though i think it's less the 'on the prowl' thing that sabotages you, but the 'i hate myself, i'm obviously a failure, and when i inevitably die utterly alone it won't be soon enough' vibe. though that might be the difference between boys and girls. which sux because i bet if you just switched em and the girl had the desperate hunger and the boy had the sad vulnerability, they might have change of fortune. life is so cruel.

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Totally classic. Failed love, pessimism, seeing that love can only hurt... love that.

― Perverted Pete-, Wednesday, 12 January 2005 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I swear, women can SMELL it when you've not had any in some time and are thus ON THE PROWL

But unless you're a boorish retard, isn't it kinda good when someone can tell you're interested? I'd hate to think they were getting mixed smells...

Anyhoo last time I was aware of it (which was admittedly some time ago) I was also under the impression that I could smell when a woman was on the prowl as well. And it only bothered me sometimes. (See above re: "boorish retard.")

Fatalistic Celibacy is as classic as every other totally uneccessary fatalism. I give it three thumbs up!

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 12 January 2005 23:12 (twenty-one years ago)

ye, i guess someone having/showing interest can never really be so bad. i think the bad wrap only comes when one acts entitled to reciprocation, or if the interest is only based on the fact you are breathing and have orifices. hmmm. perhaps i should learn to flirt. excuse me while i find another thread...

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Thursday, 13 January 2005 00:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Does the phrase "smooth operator" conjure images of sleazy guys in bad suits? Are you afraid of appearing over-eager or even desperate if you approach a man?

Get real.

If you think opening lines are only for the boys, think again. A skillful come-on from a woman is a very welcome advance. Guys agree: If the move is tactful and genuine, you won't come off as loose or frantic — or a stalker.

Here, then, are nine lines you might deploy next time you spy a guy you'd like to meet:

1. Stroke. The male ego loves a little stroke. Why not use that to your advantage?

"I'm a big fan of simply saying what I feel," says Buffy, 41, of Killington, Vt. "If I see a man with gorgeous hair, I'll tell him so in a very casual way, pausing just long enough for him to get a good look at me. Then I keep moving. Several times, a guy's tracked me down, and we've started talking."

2. Touchdown. If you're a sports fan, you've got a leg up on some of the other girls. With football season in full swing, use your sports acumen as an entrée.

"I always respond to a cute girl who knows her sports," says Lars, 24, of Boston. "Make a comment about a play or a draft pick, and you'll definitely get my attention."

3. Yawn. Working the crowd at a party or bar can get a little dull. Drew, 29, welcomes the commiseration of an attractive woman in these situations.

"It's always great to have a pretty woman to talk to when the night's not happening," he says. "I met my current girlfriend that way. She saw me yawning at a party and came over to chat. 'I feel your pain' was her opening line."

4. Giggle. When you're looking online, you may need to add a little spark. Humor often helps.

"I was looking through some profiles when a woman sent me an instant message," recalls Padraic, 36, of Cincinnati. "Her picture was cute, but her presentation was hilarious. The first line was, 'Is this thing on?' It was original and funny and it definitely made me sit up and pay attention."

5. Monkey wrench. Spot a hottie in the hardware store? Getting help is a great ice-breaker.

"I was getting a plunger and saw a cute guy in the plumbing aisle," recalls Anna, 45, of Portland. "I asked if he had any recommendations, and he did. To pay him back, I offered to buy him coffee. It worked."

6. Tongue. Feeling daring? Up the sexy factor.

"I started talking to a man at a local bar," says LouAnne, 39, of San Antonio. "We'd been talking for over an hour when I suddenly realized I was attracted to him. I flirted a little, and when he didn't immediately respond, I showed him how I could tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. After he quit blushing, he asked me to dance."

7. Simple. You could just ask him.

"For a couple of weeks, I'd been exchanging 'good mornings' with a trainer at my gym," says Allie, 40, of Santa Fe. "One morning I just asked him flat out if he'd like to take the workout outside, maybe get a group together for a hike. We've been dating ever since."

8. Groove. Have a common interest? Use it.

"I'm a big music lover, and if I see a guy in a store or coffee shop grooving to music I like, I immediately start talking to him," says Lara, 35, of Los Angeles. "I offer to burn him a CD of similar tunes and suggest meeting again to give it to him."

9. Results. Sometimes you have to skip the formalities.

"I was sitting in a club the other night, wracking my brain for something pithy to say to a nice looking man down the bar," says Mandy, 33. "I came up empty. I moved to the stool next to him and told him just that. At the end of the night, he asked for my number, and we've been on two dates. I guess the direct approach works."

― Try this?, Thursday, 13 January 2005 00:34 (twenty-one years ago)

40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN
1) NOT KISSING FIRST.
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR.
Admit it, some kid at school told you that girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST.
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.
5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy isn't.
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES.
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station, massage the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY.
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.
Cool GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED.
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.
9) LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT.
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.
10) ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.
11) STOPPING FOR A BREAK.
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.
12) UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY.
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.
13) GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY.
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.
14) BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA.
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.
15) MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY.
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.
16) UNDRESSING PREMATURELY.
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.
17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks fist.
1Cool GOING TOO FAST.
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly-line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.
19) GOING TOO HARD.
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.
20) COMING TOO SOON.
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.
21) NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH.
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.
22) ASKING IF SHE HAS COME.
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask.
23) PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY.
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.
24) NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN.
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.
25) NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX.
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.
26) MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO.
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.
27) TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES.
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.
2Cool MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES.
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.
29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.
30) TAKING PICTURES.
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words "__to
show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.
31) NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH.
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.
32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.
33) ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES.
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.
34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.
35) GIVING LOVE BITES.
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.
36) BARKING INSTRUCTIONS.
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.
37) TALKING DIRTY.
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know!
3Cool NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES.
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.
39) SQUASHING HER.
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

40) THANKING HER.
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Thursday, 13 January 2005 00:39 (twenty-one years ago)

That's a long ass list.

― Jimmy Mod always makes friends with women before bedding them down (ModJ), Thursday, 13 January 2005 00:46 (twenty-one years ago)

if someone really hates all of these things they're being a bit too picky. nobody's perfect. i even like some of them, especially this one:

29) ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 13 January 2005 00:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Some chick posted that on a porn site message board.

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Thursday, 13 January 2005 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

does anybody really try to pretend it's an accident? they'd rather say, "oops! is my dick in your ass? i'm sorry." than "can i do you in the butt?" i can't imagine this happening.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 13 January 2005 00:51 (twenty-one years ago)

roffle @ 34

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 13 January 2005 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

How come all the number 8s in that list have been replaced by the word "Cool?"

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 13 January 2005 00:52 (twenty-one years ago)

simple, the message board made animated smiley things and all the 8)'s got translated as "cool" when I cut and pasted. sorry.

― Aaron Hertz (AaronHz), Thursday, 13 January 2005 00:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Ahhhhhh... Bizarre.

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 13 January 2005 00:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm gonna add that to my list of why emoticons are fucking stupid.

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 13 January 2005 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Dud.

Think about the people you're attacted to. Are they the ones who are actively trawling for a mate? Or are they the ones who are just being themselves and minding their own business?

I honestly believe if you relax and don't look for someone, it'll just happen. I met my wife at work, and had an enormous crush on her but didn't let on because I didn't think I had a hope, so just tried to ignore it and get on with life.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 13 January 2005 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

i totally disagree cranky. i'm most attracted to people who care and make some effort. it's painful and/or masochistic to go for people who don't (seem to) give a shit about you either way.

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Thursday, 13 January 2005 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

No, that's not what I mean. There's a different between people who are obviously trawling, and people who are just enjoying themselves. That's what I mean.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 13 January 2005 01:59 (twenty-one years ago)

5) BITING HER NIPPLES.
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a dogie toy isn't

Why does this person assume they have the right to speak for every woman?

― papa november (papa november), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

So this is where I've been fucking up.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

32) SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS.

this is so fun!

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

17) TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST.
A man in socks and underpants is a at his worst. Lose the socks fist.

That's good advice, because the sock just gets in the way whilst fisting.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Make them take your socks off with their teeth. It's hot.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

dude I love the black socks and boxers look! plus hey, it's winter, keep those feet warm.

― teeny (teeny), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I think we assume that most women are more forgiving than the porn star who actually posted 40 rules.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I her list is mostly rubbish.

― papa november (papa november), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:37 (twenty-one years ago)

i think kate is right

3) NOT SHAVING.
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

i totally love men with stubble!! cleanshaven makes me feel like i'm shagging a teenager.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I usually take the underpants off first. Then the socks. Then the pants.

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

clearly one should hand the list of 40 rules to the girl in question and have her check off what's applicable. make sure to rub her knee while she does so its not too clinical.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I dunno, I agree with almost all that list. Maybe this is why I never want any.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:43 (twenty-one years ago)

That would be like that Dave Chappelle skit where the couple signs a pre-nookie contract.

xpost

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:45 (twenty-one years ago)

But this isn't about your fears. It's about her needs, wants, and desires. Way more Smoove B.

― miccio (miccio), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, most of that list looks like common sense and simple attentiveness to one's partner. I mean some of them are obviously more minor issues, but basically they ring true. Not that it matters to the fatalistically celibate like myself.

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:51 (twenty-one years ago)

this is so fun!

caitlin otm

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I remember sex. It was icky.

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe I'm just skinny, but I don't believe I've ever experienced the slapping of stomachs together during sex - I mean stomach to butt during doggy-style yes, but stomach to stomach?

xpost

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not sure I understand the logistics of stomach slapping sex, either. I just keep thinking of weird randy belly dancers.

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Thursday, 13 January 2005 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

amateurs

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Not that I would be able to remember anyway.

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I just keep thinking of weird randy belly dancers.

So not the authentic ones then.

Sorry, had to get that in.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

this is depressing me. i hadn't really thought about the fact that i've been fatalistically celibate for almost a year until i read it.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:08 (twenty-one years ago)

The ones I'm thinking of are definitely weird and randy. They scare me.

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I could go the rest of my life without getting LAID, and be okay.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Me too :/ Theres something wrong with me I reckon.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish I could say the same. Though it's not really the sex I miss, but the human companionship. (yeah right)

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

trayce, i bet i know what it is.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:40 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't like sex unless there's stomach slapping and accidental ass fucking involved. i'm going to need to get a bigger stomach.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:42 (twenty-one years ago)

fuck a sex.

― g--ff (gcannon), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:45 (twenty-one years ago)

It is pretty overrated when you think about it. Which I do. All the time.

― o. nate (onate), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:48 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, it's pretty boring

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd rather have a BURGER.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:52 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't think about the lack of sex at all actually. dunno if i could go forever without being laid but certainly i could go for a long tie. but i do think about the lack of person to share a beer with on the verandah of an evening. i guess this is the same as missing companionship.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:53 (twenty-one years ago)

*time

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:53 (twenty-one years ago)

OTM! but if you're having a beer on the veranda with someone you'll invariably want to fuck later. (i would, anyway)

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

mmm, beer.

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd like a beer right now.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:56 (twenty-one years ago)

it all comes back to beer really. beer is the meaning of life.

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 13 January 2005 03:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Yep, beer. Beer is everything. At the end of a very hard, very long, very hot day, there's nothing in the world like putting your feet up and having an ice cold minge. I mean beer.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 13 January 2005 04:00 (twenty-one years ago)

i would be rather concerned by an ice cold minge i have to say

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Thursday, 13 January 2005 04:04 (twenty-one years ago)

might be liable to cause shrinkage i imagine

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 13 January 2005 04:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Having not done the business with Nigella Lawson I can't really say.

― Adamdrome Crankypants (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 13 January 2005 04:06 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, two pot bellies = stomachs slapping

but it is sort of funny.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Thursday, 13 January 2005 04:11 (twenty-one years ago)

trayce, i bet i know what it is.

What? I assume its all that damn booze and crap messing with me libido.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 13 January 2005 04:21 (twenty-one years ago)

i like the sounds of stomachs slapping

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 13 January 2005 04:21 (twenty-one years ago)

god called this morning and said he was giving my virginity back.

― Remy IS THE Snush (x Jeremy), Thursday, 13 January 2005 06:06 (twenty-one years ago)

my friends have taken to making slightly off-colour jokes about cobwebs around me

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 13 January 2005 06:08 (twenty-one years ago)