Pooping in the Great Outdoors

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I don't really have a problem with it, being a shaggy-haired child of nature.. but I went camping with a guy that didn't crap for four days because he couldn't get used to the idea.

I lean against a tree, and I have a little orange plastic spade. I try not to poop near springs and creeks.

― andy--, Friday, 14 January 2005 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Pooping in the woods is soooo exhilarating!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

S/D: leaves for buttwipes

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

DESTROY: Poison Ivy/Oak

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i pooped in a sandpit once when i was 15.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

California's bay leaves leave the crack delightfully aromatic.

― andy--, Friday, 14 January 2005 19:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Been there. Done that. And yer point was?

FWIW, I am probably ILEs greatest authority on the subject. (BTW, tree-leaning is a crutch. Squatting doesn't require balletic balance. Just keep your trousers out of the path of gravity and you're copacetic.)

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I dare you to poop where you're currently sitting Hari!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Anybody been winter camping?
Shitting on the tundra is AWESOME!

― Huk-L, Friday, 14 January 2005 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

A crutch? More like a woodsy simulation of the domestic WC. Sometimes I even sit on an old mossy dead tree and dump over the side.

This summer I inspected a place I'd previously pooped (a month earlier), and some dang varmint had dug it up and inspected it prior to me. Do they eat poop or something? Ick.

― andy --, Friday, 14 January 2005 19:28 (twenty-one years ago)

anybody been techno camping?

shitting on max tundra is AWESOME.

― Hari A$hur$t (Toaster), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Do they eat poop or something?

Inquiring minds want to know, I see. The short answer is: yes. The qualified answer is: it depends. Varmints rely on their senses to tell them what is edible. Not all shit is created equal in that regard. Shit from a healthy human has its attractions to the gourmands of the animal kingdom. We don't have an especially efficient gut.

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

to wit: corn

― Huk-L, Friday, 14 January 2005 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Huk pays attention.

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

But I've seen bear poop that's full of all sorts of undigested matter: berries, pine cones, yellowjackets, etc. Owls and raptors seem to throw up most of their supper.

― andy --, Friday, 14 January 2005 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

When the ground and atmosphere is cold enough, STEAM will rise from freshly dropped poo. There's something refreshingly vital about burying a (literally) steaming pile of your own excrement in the cold zephyrs of the winter wilderness.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:43 (twenty-one years ago)

"to wit: corn"

peanuts

― fauxhemian (fauxhemian), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

You think the expression "steaming pile" just came out of nowhere?

But really, if you've never taken a poo at -20 C, you should try it. I mean, testicles were not built to dangle at the temperature and their reaction to sudden exposure will amaze you!

― Huk-L, Friday, 14 January 2005 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Bears are like humans in the variety of their diet and inefficiency of their digestion (although one couldn't strictly find fault with a failure to digest a pine cone). However, they eat a poorer diet, so their residue isn't as nutritious as ours.

Raptors throw up the parts of their victims (hair, bones) that contain very little food value. A gut has two ends, and raptors simply emit the undigestable portion through the upper end rather than the lower. It's a choice. Probably hurts less going that direction.

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I've found a few of these waste cylinders on country walks around here. Possibly from owls, possibly hawks. Fascinating to take these elongated hairballs home and carefully unwrap the package to find the whole mouse skeleton inside.

― I Am Curious (George) (Rock Hardy), Friday, 14 January 2005 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

That's gross.

― Huk-L, Friday, 14 January 2005 19:57 (twenty-one years ago)

No, it's 100% classic. The house we rented before buying the current house was tucked into a little valley just outside of town, with lots of lakes and wooded areas. Going out for walks, you could see the areas where deer bedded down at night, find lots of deer spoor, raptor hairballs, etc. And if you knew which way to throw the rock, you could almost hit the 13th green of one of the best golf courses in the state.

― I Am Curious (George) (Rock Hardy), Friday, 14 January 2005 20:03 (twenty-one years ago)

owls do the same thing as raptors . . . owl pellets are compromised of "indigestibles" . . . hair, bones, etc.
xpost

― kelsey (kelstarry), Friday, 14 January 2005 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"Gross" in the sense of "great", or in the sense of "makes my brain recoil like a salted slug"?

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 14 January 2005 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I rebuilt a mouse skeleton from a owl pellet once, in middle school. It was really fascinating.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 14 January 2005 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I was driving my sister back from Phoenix. It was late and we were on some two-lane road in the middle of nowhere. I had to make the poo really bad, but there was not a building for miles. We finally came across a gas station, but it was closed and the bathrooms were locked. Fuck it, I say, and walk behind the row of U-Hauls in the next lot. Trou are dropped and all I can think about is how bad I have to poo and how relieved I'll be shortly. Consequently, I did not think about how #2 is always preceded by a lil bit of #1, but instead got a nice liquid reminder of that fact.

― 00ps, Friday, 14 January 2005 20:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, if Jocelyn does it, it can't be that gross.

― Huk-L, Friday, 14 January 2005 20:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Alot of people in San Francisco just poop right on the goddamn sidewalk. I've never been homeless in any real sense, I pray that I will remain civilized enough to at least find a clump of rhodedendrons or something. Poop on the stoop is a bummer in the summer.

― andy --, Friday, 14 January 2005 20:15 (twenty-one years ago)

when I was homeless I just used public restrooms

― MY FAVOURITE LIGHTER IS CHEESEBURGER (trigonalmayhem), Friday, 14 January 2005 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

When I was homeless I didn't poop. I never poop. I'm anal retentive!

― Huk-L, Friday, 14 January 2005 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

that is AWESOME!

― MY FAVOURITE LIGHTER IS CHEESEBURGER (trigonalmayhem), Friday, 14 January 2005 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I went camping with a guy that didn't crap for four days because he couldn't get used to the idea

I think I know that guy. Him and the other guy who actually hiked all the way back to the truck, drove it 30 miles to the nearest city, used a public restroom in some restaurant, drove back and then got lost trying to find our camp again in the dark and ended up sleeping by himself in the truck for a night before he could navigate the woods the next day.

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 14 January 2005 20:23 (twenty-one years ago)

That story is just... so... sad.

― Aimless (Aimless), Friday, 14 January 2005 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Sad and true, but I will say that it wasn't me. On that trip, I was the only one who would take a dump in the woods.

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 14 January 2005 21:23 (twenty-one years ago)

That's not sad, that's hilarious!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 14 January 2005 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

thirteen years pass...

the only time i had to do this i walked for an hour until i found a sufficiently bowl-like rock formations on the shore. luckily the tide was in.

physically incapable of doing it until i had something resembling the expected usual apparatus beneath me.

― flaneur brayin (darraghmac), Monday, 27 August 2018 00:02 (seven years ago)

U kno our ancestors wld just dig a bowl shaped hole on the ground rite

― F# A# (∞), Monday, 27 August 2018 00:04 (seven years ago)

I've had an orange plastic backpacking trowel for decades, which does double duty in my herb planters. But I wondered if modern materials have come to the field, and lo:

Our Deuce Scoop is the ultimate ultralight titanium “potty trowel”. It has a perfect blend of size, weight and strength. They are made from Aerospace Grade 5 Titanium which makes them super strong for their weight, they are precision cut, then they are run through a vibratory tumbler so the edges are silky smooth and lastly they are bent on a specialty made jig in three places to increase strength and optimize scooping power.
Weight 22.18 g

https://dutchwaregear.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/deuce_scoop.jpg

― General control non-derepressible (Sanpaku), Monday, 27 August 2018 01:11 (seven years ago)

vibratory tumbler you say

― macropuente (map), Monday, 27 August 2018 01:19 (seven years ago)

i trail run and i've gotten pretty good at this. it's nbd, find a spot off-trail, stick ass out and poo then wipe with a rock *shrug*

― macropuente (map), Monday, 27 August 2018 01:23 (seven years ago)

i've done it many a time. i enjoy a) camping in the middle of a desert, and b) multi-day raft trips where you just camp on some rando beach on a river halfway through. worst part about it is worry about ants colonizing your anus

― Karl Malone, Monday, 27 August 2018 01:45 (seven years ago)

or analyzing ur colon

― flaneur brayin (darraghmac), Monday, 27 August 2018 06:34 (seven years ago)

ant colon-y

― F# A# (∞), Monday, 27 August 2018 07:27 (seven years ago)

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