how good are you at pretending yr not drunk when yr drunk?

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i am pretty fucking good.

this is partially inspired by catcher in the rye and partially by the fact that the rest of my family is gonna be home in like 30 mins.

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:06 (twenty years ago)

altho this prolly due more to general various normally ocurring psychotic traits and less to special skillz

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:08 (twenty years ago)

you're actually not that good at it.

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:09 (twenty years ago)

btw i'm not drunk and wd never drink this is just hypothetical

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:09 (twenty years ago)

I was gonna say. (xpost)

― I Am Curious (George) (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:09 (twenty years ago)

xpost but i am listening to pulp REALLY LOUD

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:10 (twenty years ago)

I make more typos when I'm drunk, as evidenced by my posts this evening!

But I make quite a few when completely sober...

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:11 (twenty years ago)

play more Clash. I'm pretty bad at it really

― Ste (Fuzzy), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:12 (twenty years ago)

hi everybody. How's it going! great to see you guys!

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:12 (twenty years ago)

i do too but i'm not now! dunno why i think its cuz of all the caffiene i'm simultaneously taking

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:13 (twenty years ago)

how was that?

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:13 (twenty years ago)

(xpost x1billion)

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:13 (twenty years ago)

jesus too much activity tonight glad to be home listening to tunes and relaxing. so drunk

― Ste (Fuzzy), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:15 (twenty years ago)

CAITLIN BTW ARE YOU MY MOM??? DIDNT THINK SO.

SO SAAAVE A PIECE FOR ME

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:21 (twenty years ago)

John, I wish your dad would just get fed up and prosecute you himself. "Your honor, this little shit is a flight risk..."

― I Am Curious (George) (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:24 (twenty years ago)

HE HAS NEVER CAUGHT ME. aT least afaik. seriously. see that other thread.

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:25 (twenty years ago)

or wait that's this thrad. yeah i think i'm drunk now.

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:27 (twenty years ago)

the drunkest i have ever been on ile was when i started a thread on the Lost t.v. show and i had to re-type every single word that i typed for the thread title and whatever i posted. it took me forever!!! i could barely see. right now, i can see fine, but i'm feeling kinda funny.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:30 (twenty years ago)

i'm just mid-drunk i guess but iwas pretty wasted on that bipolar thread as is evident (but don't go there...PLEASE). i've drunk like 8 diff types of liquor tonight. (NOT)

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:31 (twenty years ago)

o and i also took more xanax. sry. achilles heel & all. or something.

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:32 (twenty years ago)

ok daddies home. watch the magik bbe.

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:56 (twenty years ago)

"Son, I was wondering if you could recite the alphabet backward for me."

― I Am Curious (George) (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:58 (twenty years ago)

zyxvutrsqupno

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 03:58 (twenty years ago)

i am at dbl/tpl vision stage and NOTHING. ir genios.

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 04:03 (twenty years ago)

ok they just left for some reason for MORE 2 BUCK CHUCK TIME

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 04:36 (twenty years ago)

for = so

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 04:37 (twenty years ago)

Try not to choke on your own vomit, kid.

― I Am Curious (George) (Rock Hardy), Sunday, 16 January 2005 04:43 (twenty years ago)

excellent. this is the only way I get laid. lack of inhibition is key, but must be careful not to slurrr, stumble or talk local politics lest the cute ones break for the door.

― will (will), Sunday, 16 January 2005 04:44 (twenty years ago)

MOM CALLED LEFT MESSAGE FOR DAD I TOOK IT BUT 1 NUMBER TOO SHORT. OH SHIT. DOES HE SUSPECT SOMETHING.

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 04:47 (twenty years ago)

actually now i'm thinkin my dads a bit typsy too so this may save me arse

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 04:52 (twenty years ago)

WOOHOO prob solved

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 04:53 (twenty years ago)

"excellent. this is the only way I get laid. lack of inhibition is key, but must be careful not to slurrr, stumble or talk local politics lest the cute ones break for the door."

this is completely sexist i motion for this guy to be banend.

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 04:58 (twenty years ago)

ok i am like totally sober now...wtf.

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 05:08 (twenty years ago)

fritos r magik i guess

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 05:12 (twenty years ago)

"Try not to choke on your own vomit, kid."

i read abt jimi hendrix afore i took the xanax. or maybe it was just after. either way, i am a respsonsible abuser.

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 05:16 (twenty years ago)

NOT VERY GOOD HI I'M DRUNK

― MY FAVOURITE LIGHTER IS CHEESEBURGER (trigonalmayhem), Sunday, 16 January 2005 07:15 (twenty years ago)

Awful. I get horrible squinty bloodshot eyes by my second beer.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Sunday, 16 January 2005 08:03 (twenty years ago)

I'm sure I read somewhere once that, if you're an actor trying to act drunk, the easiest way to do it is to act someone deliberately trying to look "not drunk".

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 16 January 2005 09:35 (twenty years ago)

I've heard that, too.

― jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 16 January 2005 09:37 (twenty years ago)

most drunks, in my experince, are very poor judges of their own efforts to appear not drunk, possibly because they're drunk when they're making the call.

― dan (dan), Sunday, 16 January 2005 09:44 (twenty years ago)

im very bad at this

― phil-two (phil-two), Sunday, 16 January 2005 10:01 (twenty years ago)

My friend and I in college made a sort of game of drinking more than everyone else while maintaining composure. Now I'm at an Olympic level of proficiency, which kinda sucks cause, y'know, it's fun to act the fool sometimes. A few weeks ago I went out with peeps from work and could not convince them that I drank more than all of them. "remember all those half drunk beers left on the table that nobody would finish? well SOMEbody had to!"

― 00ps, Sunday, 16 January 2005 22:35 (twenty years ago)

99.9% of people, with the exception of oops, who say they are really good at this, have a high tolerance, etc, are actually horrendous, like the most obvious drunks I've ever met. Maybe it's the people I know?

― Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Monday, 17 January 2005 00:46 (twenty years ago)

I'm not good at all. If anything I'm overly apologetic about it, giving the game away before they even would consider it a possibility. "S'cuze me, I've been hit with a Thor's Hammer of Beer and am in no position to be taken seriously!"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 17 January 2005 00:52 (twenty years ago)

i never bother

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Monday, 17 January 2005 00:53 (twenty years ago)

I think I'm good at it, but deep down I know I'm not. It usually comes up at gigs where I've been drinking and then have to talk to someone's mom, or my mom, or someone who wants to book a wedding band.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:18 (twenty years ago)

i think more interesting is the question of how good am i at pretending i'm drunk when i'm not? the answer would be very, and it's because it's a handy trick for getting off scott-free when i get a little too outspoken at a party.

― liser (ystrickler), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:19 (twenty years ago)

It usually comes up at gigs where I've been drinking and then have to talk to someone's mom, or my mom, or someone who wants to book a wedding band.

Oh, I never drink at gigs because, though being a little tipsy can sometimes improve my guitar playing (I've heard recordings that prove it), it almost always makes me sing flat. Also, I have the apologetic drunk gene like Alex, so I wind up being on stage, singing flat and apologizing for it. "I'm really sorry about that. Don't sing as well drunk. At least you only paid $5 to get in the door. Etc."

― martin m. (mushrush), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:26 (twenty years ago)

Haha, I always sing off-key so I don't have to worry about it. At least I avoid microphones though.

Sometimes I think I play a little more in the pocket when drunk because I'm more relaxed.

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:30 (twenty years ago)

I'm terrible at pretending i'm not drunk. On Friday night I told someone I really like but am not attracted to that I really wanted to kiss them last time I saw them. I'm hoping they know that I said this because I was drunk, otherwise they may stop liking me as much as they used to and that would be a shame.

― papa november (papa november), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:36 (twenty years ago)

i am an expert, yes.

― cutty (mcutt), Monday, 17 January 2005 01:58 (twenty years ago)

Sometimes I think I play a little more in the pocket when drunk because I'm more relaxed.

Yeah I'm pretty sure that's what it is for me as well. Not as prone to feeling the need to concentrate and play things perfectly allows my fingers to just play it and prove that they actually have been paying attention at practice.

― martin m. (mushrush), Monday, 17 January 2005 02:54 (twenty years ago)

If anything I'm overly apologetic about it, giving the game away before they even would consider it a possibility. "S'cuze me, I've been hit with a Thor's Hammer of Beer and am in no position to be taken seriously!"

You know you're drunk when you start *telling people* you're drunk.

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 17 January 2005 12:17 (twenty years ago)

My habit of falling over after just a few drinks means I can never do this. My legs always go first, it's so unfair.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 17 January 2005 13:17 (twenty years ago)

i'm really, really good at it. if an olympic event existed for this, i'd take at least a bronze medal.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 17 January 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

Um, lauren, I refer you to Stacey's comments from the last time I went out with you. It can't all have been me, I didn't even fall over. (Obv. I thought you were stone cold sober, but I was in no position to make a judgement.)

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 17 January 2005 13:26 (twenty years ago)

true. i should clarify: if i want to appear sober, then i can. if i don't have any reason to, then all bets are off and i'll probably slide under the table or fall out of the nightbus or something like that.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 17 January 2005 13:33 (twenty years ago)

My legs were a bit stumbly the other night but I claimed it was coz they'd gone to sleep. I wonder if anyone believed me? I hope so, coz it was true (I think).

― toraneko (toraneko), Monday, 17 January 2005 14:30 (twenty years ago)

I'm great at masking when I'm tipdy but WOW do I suck at masking when I'm drunk. I already overthink my sentences so when you add drunken "OMG DON'T SLUR DON'T SLUR what was I saying? oh shit..." to the mix, it's not pretty.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 January 2005 15:23 (twenty years ago)

My tolerance is such that it's very hard for me to drink enough to seem, or even feel, drunk.

I can approach "tipsy" or "buzzed," though, after perhaps a bottle of wine or six pints of beer.

― The Mad Puffin (The Mad Puffin), Monday, 17 January 2005 15:47 (twenty years ago)

99.9% of people, with the exception of oops, who say they are really good at this, have a high tolerance, etc, are actually horrendous, like the most obvious drunks I've ever met.

This is probably true. One of the girls from work I went out with was all like "DRINKING CONTEST! BOYS vs GIRLS! I CAN DRIIIIIIIINK, YO", and of course she was the most sloppy, obnoxious one out of all of us and drank the least.
I don't think I have I high tolerance, just a strange one. I can drink steadily and not feel anything and then have one more drink and it's like a dam bursting. (it's like that with everything. I ate half a eighth of shrooms, waited awhile, didn't feel anything, said fuck it, and ate the rest, then tripped elephant balls) Thing is, I process stuff so quickly that I get sick/hungover while still drinking, and therefore usually stop myself before the floodgates open.

― 00ps, Monday, 17 January 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

yes yes, lauren is a champ at appearing sober.

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 17 January 2005 18:17 (twenty years ago)

"I ate half a eighth of shrooms, waited awhile, didn't feel anything, said fuck it, and ate the rest, then tripped elephant balls"

you and 90% of ppl who've eaten shrooms/acid

― John (jdahlem), Monday, 17 January 2005 18:18 (twenty years ago)

Fuck. I thought I was special. :(
(yeah i've done that with acid, too. "this hit isn't doing shit. fuck this asshole who sold them to me. i'm going to eat the rest of this sheet just to spite him!"

― 00ps, Monday, 17 January 2005 19:31 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

i do not understand your ameican phrase "tripping "balls"", please explain it to me

― i kill people all day long, Friday, 18 February 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

* AMERICAN

― *!, Friday, 18 February 2005 13:27 (twenty years ago)

three years pass...

i went to a wedding on saturday and drunk a fair bit but for some reason couldnt actually get drunk (i couldnt really relax either tbh). was frustrating cos i had the problems of being drunk (forgetting peoples names) but not the 'haha im able to talk complete yet inspired crap' benefits. still, im hoping everyone else was more drunk so wont be able to remember.

― p-noid (titchyschneiderMk2), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 10:37 (sixteen years ago)

(that prob fits more under 'drinking but not losing your inhibitions' than pretending yr not drunk than when yr drunk but this thread title came closest)

― p-noid (titchyschneiderMk2), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 10:39 (sixteen years ago)

My girlfriend reckons she's never seen me properly roaring drunk in seven and a half years, except on maybe one occasion. So... pretty damn good, I'd say. Although I really don't drink anything like I used to.

― Sickamous Mouthall (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 3 February 2009 11:19 (sixteen years ago)

nine years pass...

Regarding the thread subject line's question, I'm not sure. All I know is that, when I was the drunkest I have been in my life (about forty years ago, give or take) I have a very strong memory of regarding myself calmly and rationally, although I was unable to stand, barely able to crawl, and could only speak a few words with supreme effort. However, those few words still emerged as coherent and grammatically formed sentences.

My main concern at the time, it being a cool October night and myself kneeling outdoors in a darkened area, was whether I was dressed warmly enough to escape hypothermia, in case I spent the night unable to move my useless carcass into warmer quarters. After what seemed several hours I managed to do so, although the effort only encompassed moving myself about 100 feet, through the front door of my hosts, and snugging down in their front hallway to sleep it off.

This event impressed upon me the impossibility of my ever getting raving or fighting drunk. Instead, I was meek and apologetic, and I never lost what grip I had on rational thought. As a paralytically drunken person I don't think I impersonated a sober person very convincingly, even though my brain was functioning fairly well, if very, very slowly.

― A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 23 June 2018 03:54 (seven years ago)

You describe too dizzy to fall asleep drunk. I guess we don’t lose our mind but thinking is limited in other ways.

― He said captain, I said wot (FlopsyDuck), Saturday, 23 June 2018 04:27 (seven years ago)

I don’t get angry drunk either. Maybe we lack tetosterone.

― He said captain, I said wot (FlopsyDuck), Saturday, 23 June 2018 04:30 (seven years ago)

*In vino veritas*. Some people just become friendlier when the inhibitions come down. I often drank to calm my ruminations and resentments, and don't recall ever being particularly angry under the influence. My main giveaway was just becoming more talkative.

If you slur a bit when sober, its a lot easier to pass when loaded. Wear a juniper cologne if a gin drinker, etc. Source: from long line of alcoholics, father is an addiction medicine specialist.

― Chaos reigns... in my pants (Sanpaku), Saturday, 23 June 2018 12:33 (seven years ago)

I think I'm not very good at pretending I'm not drunk when I'm drunk but it seems I am - the number of times I've said "Oh, I was pissed as a fart last time I saw you", only to be told, "Were you? I didn't notice".

― womp womp that sucker (Tom D.), Saturday, 23 June 2018 12:41 (seven years ago)

I feel most sober when drunk

― calstars, Saturday, 23 June 2018 13:20 (seven years ago)

Like a good beer buzz early in the morning

― mind how you go (Ross), Saturday, 23 June 2018 13:34 (seven years ago)

I am old and my body does not let me drink more than 2, 3 at the most anymore, it's pretty cool

― rehab hot (rip van wanko), Saturday, 23 June 2018 13:40 (seven years ago)

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