The Best-Looking Footballers

Current players, in the first instance.

Freddie Ljungberg. Mmm.

Matt Holland of Ipswich - dreamy!

Birthday Boy Wee Ally Cook

(Joe, you didn't specify they had to be pros!)

Ooh yes, Ally Cook. I'd tackle him from behind any day of the week (and hopefully get an early bath for my troubles).

George Best, before the booze, Gary Speed circa Leeds championship + with long hair, Paulo Maldini, Les Ferdinand, Allesandro Nesta, Patrick Berger, Emile Mpenza.

Vinnie Jones and David Beckham

I can only think of Lovely David Beckham. Mmmmm. Yes please. However if I am forced to watch footie in the pub I can usually develop a crush on other players possibly because I am bored and pissed and have beer goggles on.

Matt Holland has fantastic cheekbones. Freddie Ljungberg looks stupid with his rubbish pink, squewiff stripe. And he's a twat.

I thought Ferdinand was strange... but Jones? That's just unacceptable.

And Easton has been sent off!

Jonnie, it just means we don't have to share. There are enough for everyone!

Current: Fransesco Totti looks like a spoiled Roman emperor, this is a good thing. Oh let me gaze at your blond curls you footie god! :) Ahem...

Of course they used to be better looking bakc in the day when they wore their (beautiful 70s style) shirts over their shorts. Winner: Ruud Krol! runner up: Giancarlo Antognioni (former Fiorentina/Italy midfielder). Style incarnate. also ran: Gunter Netzer in green shirt Wembley '72. Super cool.

Suker. Or whatever he's called. Looks like Michael Palin, who is my new Old Man crush.

Associated Press

MADRID -- Francisco Gallardo has taken celebrating a big goal to a new level.

The Sevilla midfielder has been charged by the Spanish soccer federation's disciplinary committee after he celebrated a teammate's goal by biting the player's penis.

The committee has given Gallardo, a Spanish under-21 international, until next Tuesday to prepare his defence after his curious manner of congratulating teenage striker Jose Antonio Reyes.

He could face a fine or suspension for his actions, which may deemed to be an infringement of what is officially described in the federation's rulebook as "sporting dignity and decorum."

"It's sad that everyone is making so much of a fuss about this instead of my performances with Sevilla and the under-21s. It was nothing at all," the newspaper Marca quoted Gallardo as saying before yesterday's decision.

Reyes made a dazzling run from the halfway line to score Sevilla's second goal in the 55th minute of a 4-0 win over Valladolid on Sunday.

After his goal, Reyes fell to the ground and was immediately besieged by a group of ecstatic teammates. Gallardo ran to join the melee and, instead of hugging Reyes, he appeared to bend down and take a momentary nibble at the goalscorer's genitalia.

"I felt a bit of a pinch but I didn't realize what Gallardo had done until I saw the video. The worst thing about it is the teasing I'm going to get from my teammates," Reyes said.

That's Cazzorosso off to Spain for a footballing holiday, then

Headline from the Daily Record for the above story

‘You Could Go Down For This’

It was the cherubic, white-clad, bleach-blonde, wantonly violent Alan Smith (Leeds) who got me thinking about this. He is Beautiful but Deadly.

I bet you love it when he swears indiscriminately. Like on Sunday when he exclaimed "He's a fucking cock he is" to nobody in particular having just been sent off.

Ivan Campos of Real Madrid. I wouldn't climb over him to get to you.

The cock nibbler was caught clearly on camera, so keep your eyes peeled. It's pretty disgusting though. I prefer that mooning Arsenal player back in the day. Back in the block party era.

I am reliably informed that Patrick Berger is a fox, though not knowing much about footballists I cannot confirm this

Agreed re. Berger, OK.

Beckham Swoons were reasonable when he had Hair. Blonde Beckham (have people forgotten pre-blonde Beckham?) was dishy. But now? I'm not sure. Emma H - Justify your love.

If Daf is allowed amateurs, then am I allowed SundayFootballer Dreamy Nicky D?

What is going on here?? It sounds like all you guys are mad for these footballers in a way that's most disco. I like it, actually.

MOST DISCO?? I like it too.

Gorgeous, pouting, Merseyside-Derby-volley-scoring Andy King.

Everton (like Liverpool 95-00) were a "girl's team"* once too, y'know. Garry Stanley's shaggy perm, George Wood's rugged and cragged craggedy ruggedness, erm... John Gidman's jagged niggardly blaggard... oh, I can't keep this up.

(* - my schoolfriend Mark Jones in late 1980, to the endless amusement of glory-chasing Liverpudlians around us in Mr McEvoy's Science class; my pointing out the ambiguity of merely writing "Embarrassment" on your pencil case to Dave Formston [surely there are better ways of celebrating your Madness fanship] did little to quell the baying red filthlets).

Ian Dowie.

Peter Beardsley, Luke Chadwick.

But Seriously, Sammi Hyppia and Mia Hamm.

Unsurprisingly enough, the first link on a Google search of "Ian Dowie" is www.uglyfootballers.com

I will not hear a word against Peter Beardsley. Beautiful in Black'n'White stripes.

And in a red shirt too Stevo. But no looker and no friend of the Dalglishes either so I'm told.

Mark C I have bad news for you, I was just speaking to a gooner and Mr Ljungberg has a most attractive, tall, blonde girlfriend, you've got competition old chum.

Really? I thought he was, you know, offside.

Blimey, men have a go at us for ogling footballers instead of watching the game properly and all the time they are at it themselves.

Perhaps I could have a word with Mr Ljungberg's ladyfriend and suggest spicing things up a little... hang on, is she a footballer too? I believe the Arsenal ladies' goalkeeper is a bit of a fox, but I forget her name.

Yeah Sean this is sort of an unspoken truth of footie in that it allows straight men to talk about the physical beauty of other men without being called a poof or mietje or whatever. It's weird isn't it? Freud & co. would have a field day.

Now I agree with Stevo on Nesta although he's a bit too much: he should get the prize for vainest footie player. I suspect he arrives at the ground at least 2 hours before everybody else to oil his hair and put it just in place. Of course on the pitch Mr. Nesta kicks serious arse.

"Freud and co, would have a field day."

Phew, for a brief moment I thought you wrote Freund. Have Lazio got the best Beauty and the Beast central defensive partnership in world football (Nesta and Stam or Couto)?

Steffan Freund should be up there with Chadwick for his old ice hockey hair.

I always thought Ljungberg kicked with both feet so Mark may well be onto something. Nuno Gomes is a little cutey though.

Barry Ferguson strikes me as a Scottish Alan Smith - very young looking and cherubic but with a violent nasty streak as black as coal.

q.v. David Thompson, angelic Scally who'll kick off your knee caps as soon as look at you.

Gentlemen, I assure you; male American football fans do not sit around talking about how beautiful they think certain players are.

But then Sean, male-on-male appreciation is more tactile in American Football, isn't it?

I remember we used to sing "Gary Rice Rice Rice, he looks nice nice nice" to the nice-looking Gary Rice some years ago.

And American football players disguise themselves beneath layers of protective equipment. They're just playing hard to get.

Roma's fans frenzied title celebrations last summer amazed me. Large numbers running onto the pitch to strip their heroes down to their underwear (for souvenirs) before the match was even officially over. Totti, Batistuta et al left trying to reach the changing room in their smalls.

A friend did some video analysis of goal scoring celebrations as part of some Psychology project. She claims that players often unconsciously, touch the genetalia of the goal scorer, through his shorts.

Awesome!

That American Lady who scored the winner in the Women's World Cup!

Gary Shaw!

He was a one-man girls' team!

I am utterly gobsmacked that there is no mention of Thierry Henry on this thread.

http://secure2.venus.co.uk/bluemask2/media/cal05_henry_full.jpg

I would also suggest Frank Lampard, Jamie Redknapp, and, er, I always thought Graeme Le Saux was quite cute but I may be alone in that one.
http://www.soccerdays.com/close_up/jpg/lampard.jpg http://jamie-redknapp.freeservers.com/reddersother8.jpg http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca/~gauntlet/eg/eg2/20020530b/SPORTSLeSaux.gif

Scotland is a talent desert as far as good looking footballers go. Maybe Jackie McNamara?
http://www.4thegame.com/media/00/02/47/Jackie_McNamara.jpg

(I apologise for posting the most boy-band-esque picture of Frank Lampard ever taken)