elaine and jerry on seinfeld probably didnt have very good sex

Elaine: He'll get in the elevator, but he won't go down

Jerry: Oh... you mean...?

Elaine: Yeah.

Jerry: Why not? I mean, you're there...

Interesting attitude for a man who obsesses with hygeine and brushing his teeth. Perhaps this is why. He's always eating pussy.

elaine is terrified of the lava-spouting vesuvius of untamed and untempered testosterone that is kosmo q kramer. terrified and attracted.

i agree--elaine is terrified and attracted by kramer. that would've been something.

Why look at all this peripheral info when the answers are right in front of you?

Did she get a hamster or something?

I thought Elaine was hot in that scene with George's boss. "Naked, naked, naked!"

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l69bsowvqN1qz7lxdo1_500.gif

Elaine got hotter as she got older IMO

elaine way underrated as far as nineties sex symbols go

she was the cuteness

best revive in a long while imo.
i'd make sweet love to elaine benes tbh

god i had no idea so many men found her attractive!

have you guys seen her new commercials for healthy choice?

http://www.spokespersonwanted.com/

she looks hot in them

she progressively gets hotter as she ages, she must've made a deal w/the devil.

looked great in arrested development.

http://www.tonybatman.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/seinfeld-xxx-boxcovr.jpg

fake elaine not cutting it.

^^^

lol as opposed to the other three dopplegangers rite

Kramer and Jerry arguably better looking than their IRL counterparts

also both more willing to pull out their cocks on camera

Not sure about Michael Richards

a moot point, he'll never be on camera again

he could have a career in racist porn spoofs

Redeemed by Larry David!!!

he could have a career in racist porn spoofs

this made me lol really hard

XXX SHAFTS!

wtf is she doing advertising (what looks like) unpleasant low-cal ready meals? Isn't she worth a gazillion dollars?

Trying to imagine what other names they went through before settling on the pedestrian "Seinfeld: A XXX Parody"

"he could have a career in racist porn spoofs"

this made me lol really hard

knew this was u before i read yr name

why, how, i dunno...

loinsfeld

this made me obtain much hard one

she's aged maybe 3 years since she was on snl some 25+years ago. And she's done it well.

wtf is she doing advertising (what looks like) unpleasant low-cal ready meals? Isn't she worth a gazillion dollars?

probably but her show is constantly about to be cancelled and celebrities like their money.

jeez maybe she just tried em and loved them don't be so cynical

man, don't find elaine attractive in the least. feel like she's the type to wear granny panties

i am missing a few pair

never got the granny panties vibe from elaine

don't find her at all attractive but that could be the seinfeld taint on her

so you're watching the xxx movie right now huh

wtf is she doing advertising (what looks like) unpleasant low-cal ready meals? Isn't she worth a gazillion dollars?

probably but her show is constantly about to be cancelled and celebrities like their money.

― akm, Thursday, July 29, 2010 10:41 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

her show actually did get cancelled, a couple months ago. i liked it, too! as weird as it may seem i think established mid-level celebs tend to do ad campaigns like that more to stay in the public eye than for money.

yeah probably. plus all the other people in those ads are comedy pros, they can all pretend it's a christopher guest project or something

Eww Seinfeld taint!
xxx(shaft)post

I can imagine few things worse than getting Seinfeld taint on me.

"elaine is terrified of the lava-spouting vesuvius of untamed and untempered testosterone that is kosmo q kramer. terrified and attracted."

everyone should have sex with people theyre scared of.

On that show, Seinfeld was always bonin' the hottest chicks. (and then of course dumping them because they used his toothbrush or something stupid)

The funniest one was when he suggested the menois a trois to his girlfriend and her hot roommate and they both said yes and then this exchange with George...

J: "I can't. I'm not an orgy guy."
G: "Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium ... by accident."
J: "Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a moustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends. ... Naw, I'm not ready for it.

hahahahaha

in response to the thread question, there is a scene where jerry's talking to his parents about elaine and he was like "nah it'd never work" and they're like "why not???" and he says they argued a lot. the parents are like "ah whatever, that's normal" and then he says "and uh, IT wasn't really....." and his parents get really quiet and are like "oh."

i think established mid-level celebs tend to do ad campaigns like that more to stay in the public eye than for money.

It can't be the money. (I know that's not actually her money but I'm sure she's in the will or something.)

haha, the orgy conversation reminded me of the Party Down orgy episode. Jerry is right!

wtf is she doing advertising (what looks like) unpleasant low-cal ready meals? Isn't she worth a gazillion dollars?

― i find music confusing and annoying (Ned Trifle II), Thursday, July 29, 2010 9:47 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i have spent many minutes watching these commercials on the internet and really enjoy them. i'm glad she did them! and i actually want to try healthy choice. i see them in walgreens all the time and i get inspired, but i haven't tried them yet.

jane lynch is in the commercials too, they're like playing themselves obv

creamer vs. crammer?

IIRC Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus are nowhere near as wealthy as Jerry and Larry David. Since they were all only actors rather than writers, they don't get any cut of the syndication royalties. They all became increasingly jealous over time, obviously, so they held out for a shitload of money before participating in the DVD commentaries/interviews.

Elaine was hot in the episode where she records the erotic message on Jerry's tape recorder.

Isn't Julia Louis-Dreyfus the daughter of a billionaire or something? She's worth a lot entirely outside of what she made for Seinfeld.

xpost

oh, duh. didn't read upthread. n/m.

idk if i was julie louis dreyfuss and my agent was like "some soup company wants you to do a commercial where you sit at a table and talk about their soup, they're gonna pay you x thousands of dollars" i would probably be like "sure why not"

"jld you wanna do a half day's work shooting a bunch of spots and reap residuals for years & years & years for basically nothing?"
"oh idk I'm super-rich so why would I want a whole lot more money? ok tho I guess, please pick me up in an awesome car and treat me like royalty while I film"
"ok"

also- ads funnier, better than Seinfeld

you have been banned

:)

G: "Are you crazy? This is like discovering Plutonium ... by accident."

just like to say I loved the way george delivered that line, classic.

IIRC Jason Alexander, Michael Richards, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus are nowhere near as wealthy as Jerry and Larry David. Since they were all only actors rather than writers, they don't get any cut of the syndication royalties. They all became increasingly jealous over time, obviously, so they held out for a shitload of money before participating in the DVD commentaries/interviews.

Even without her dad's fortune and/or syndication rights she (and Richards and Alexander) made about http://www.stanthecaddy.com/pact-brings-peace-to-the-seinfeld-cast-discuss.htmlm an episode for the last season, which was 24 eps long. Not too shabby. I get the point about advertising being easy money - I still find it hard not to think of it as a bit tacky (maybe being brought by the BBC has something to do with this).

Shit, screwed that up - anyway it was $1m an episode - according to this...
http://www.stanthecaddy.com/pact-brings-peace-to-the-seinfeld-cast-discuss.html

Thread got kind of unsexy.

I blame Seinfeld's taint.

had no idea that Julia was heiress to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune IRL haha

anyway a lot of actors, even really wealthy or famous ones, seem to like to work and are just happy to book a gig no matter where or what it is, including commercials that are basically just short comedy skits

and maybe she likes these low calory meals and now gets boxes of them for free.

anyway the best thing about elaine was that she wasn't hot all the time, usually hiding behind her work clothes and grandma glasses, but once in a while they did something like the shrinkage episode and it was all there

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MyZg7E27cw

"I'm not ashamed to talk numbers. I would say in the years that we've been in syndication, Julia, Michael and I have probably individually seen about a quarter of a million dollars out of residuals, whereas our brethren have seen hundreds of millions of dollars. Seinfeld has a profit of over a billion dollars."

man I want a billion dollars

I just kinda want to mug Seinfeld.

yeah, regardless of what cash he's actually got on him

man, don't find elaine attractive in the least. feel like she's the type to wear granny panties

The image planted in my mind by this observation actually looks kinda hot to me.

lol looked up Elaine Benes on youtube and its mostly remixes of her horrible dance from that one ep!

http://img1.tvloop.com/img/showpics/8f/de/l349bb2000001_1_9025.jpg

http://gawker.com/5616780/all-the-girls-in-new-york-will-soon-look-like-elaine-from-seinfeld

one comment (the piece goes on to complaint about early nineties women's fashion in general): This morning some girl got in the elevator with me wearing high top jean, faded jean shorts with pink roses on them, a beige vest, a fedora and saddle shoes with white socks.

The end is nigh. At least in Brooklyn.

i dunno, that sounds kind of great to me. maybe i'm just easily impressed

God has been my witness on this since I was a very little girl: I will never wear a floral print dress.

A TWO DISC COLLECTOR'S SET

With the exception of a silken winnie the pooh vest I was really into penny hardaway magic jerseys and baggy jean shorts during those days so I'm getting my 90's girly on now as revenge. I'll take all the floral prints you don't wear, abbott.

I can't tell you how many stores I made my mom go to as a kid to find that one elusive church dress not covered in flowers and lace (usually it ended up being nautically themed).

I wasn't a big fan of the dress at all back then. I can't get enough of it now though.

Yeah, floral is everywhere now and I like it. But, no money.

I have the PERFECT long skirt to wear as Elaine for Halloween. I've been wanting to do this for a few years and I might do that this year since it should be easy to find the rest of the outfit (round-collar shirt tucked in, 2-tone shoes, tiny backpack, long brown wig - DONE).

We often see George, Elaine and Kramer in bed with their spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends, whether it's pre-sex, post-sex or going to sleep. But it seems like we never see Jerry in bed with anyone, even though he had by far the most partners of anyone on the show.

The only time I remember seeing Jerry in bed with anyone is with Elaine in the episode about orgasm-faking.

Am I imagining this? If I'm not, then what's the deal?

I think they probably had great sex the first 10 times

He wouldn't stop mugging during it so she dumped him.