Puzzle: How do I find a drug dealer?

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I'm in a new city. I'd like to buy an eighth of weed.
There's no student bar. None of my long-haired led-zep-t-shirt-wearing classmates smoke weed.

How do I meet a drug-dealer?

― Schlock, Friday, 4 February 2005 22:44 (twenty-one years ago)

What city? In San Francisco I would just hang around Golden Gate park. Eventually someone will try to sell some oregano.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 4 February 2005 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

doses? doses?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 4 February 2005 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Seedy gay bars are good places to find random drug connections.

― Jeff-PTTL (Jeff), Friday, 4 February 2005 22:50 (twenty-one years ago)

none of your classmates smoke weed? statistically improbable unless you're at Brigham Young.

― Snappy (sexyDancer), Friday, 4 February 2005 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh yeah if you are in Utah just give the fuck up NOW!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 4 February 2005 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Aberdeeen, middle-of-nowhere Scottish town. It only exists because of the North Sea drilling platforms.

And there aren't any gay bars...

― Schlock, Friday, 4 February 2005 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Worse. None of my long-haired led-zep-t-shirt-wearing classmates smoke weed.

Times have changed, man.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 4 February 2005 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmmn do people smoke pot publicly on campus in Scotland?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 4 February 2005 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh no. Hair rock is all the rage in this bleeding-edge town.

― Schlock, Friday, 4 February 2005 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

The only smell of green I've got was off a bunch of schoolkids at a bus-stop, and I don't want to be reduced to approachng them...

― Schlock, Friday, 4 February 2005 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Then you are fucked.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 4 February 2005 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

time to start growing your own.

― cutty (mcutt), Friday, 4 February 2005 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

move?

― Snappy (sexyDancer), Friday, 4 February 2005 23:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Homegrown is hard work though cutty.
I should move, but it doesn't seem worth it just to score some weed. I can't believe I left South London. You could buy it OVER THE COUNTER, for fucksake.

― Schlock, Friday, 4 February 2005 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I know there must be SOMEONE on campus who smokes, it's just a matter of finding them. What are the physical characteristics that will mark them out?

― Schlock, Friday, 4 February 2005 23:03 (twenty-one years ago)

are there any of those shops selling mushrooms around? do people light up at shows or in clubs?

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 4 February 2005 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Sounds like you need to cut down on your classwork and become an entrepreneur.

― Site Admistrator (deangulberry), Friday, 4 February 2005 23:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Silly me. Damo Suzuki is playing locally in a month, if I can't score there then I don't deserve it anyway. Ta Shakey.

― Schlock, Friday, 4 February 2005 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, dude: you'll just have to go about your business, stopping now and then to stare off into space and sigh and go "Geez, I wish I had some weed right now." Sooner or later someone will say "Me too," and then explain how they know exactly where to get some but aren't going to do it. Then sooner or later someone else will go "Geez, if you're that hard up for some weed, just ask, I'll get you some, chill out." But of course they never will. And you will become the guy at the party who smells someone lighting up in the next room and immediately rolls over to hover around and say hi to everyone in the hope of a single soggy toke that gets you nowhere.

Alternately, yeah, just go sit in a park or something.

― nabisco (nabisco), Friday, 4 February 2005 23:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you ever meet the guy who eats the roaches afterwards, nabisco?

― Schlock, Friday, 4 February 2005 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

older festival-goer type hippies will smoke with anyone, but you have to smoke with them. if you can handle that, start hanging out in dingy crafts shops, used bookstores, acoustic open mic nights etc

― dave q (listerine), Friday, 4 February 2005 23:15 (twenty-one years ago)

What's hard-to-handle about smoking with them, dave q?

― Schlock, Friday, 4 February 2005 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

sometimes they ask you to evaluate their poems, or get really intense with conspiracy theorizing to the point where it isn't fun anymore, and get upset when you want to take some home for later, as it carries the taint of commerce

(probably won't help much saying this, but the weed will find you in your darkest hour. last summer i was stuck way out in the sticks without a car and i was going insane, one day i was on a lonely disconsolate walk down an abandoned railroad track when i saw this guy walking up the other direction, [unusual enough in itself, even more so at 7:30 in the morning], and he was carrying a briefcase full of hydroponic bud, he sold me some at the lowest price I ever paid. true story!)

― dave q (listerine), Friday, 4 February 2005 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

and uh, how did your conversation start, exactly?

"hey bro - got any weed in that suitcase?"

"why yes I do!"

(with any luck, Schlock, you will be blessed as I have been, on occasion, and just find a bag of weed lying in the middle of the street. That's happened to me several times).

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 4 February 2005 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

When I was a student, I knew someone from Stonehaven who dealed a little. Aren't all those little coastal towns along there supposed to be awash with drugs?

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 4 February 2005 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost - not far off, actually

― dave q (listerine), Friday, 4 February 2005 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

become a model

― kyle (akmonday), Friday, 4 February 2005 23:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Are there any head shops in Aberdeen? Actually are there head shops period in the UK?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Friday, 4 February 2005 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

You would smoke weed you found lying in the street? Wasn't there a Cramps song warning against that sort of behavior?

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Friday, 4 February 2005 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I have half an eighth you can have, man. Primo. I bought it a couple months ago but every time I toke I start thinking about taxes and the hole in my tooth.

― andy --, Saturday, 5 February 2005 00:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"Feelgood stoner movie of the year." - High Times

― Michael White (Hereward), Saturday, 5 February 2005 00:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"You would smoke weed you found lying in the street? Wasn't there a Cramps song warning against that sort of behavior?"

you're thinking of "Don't Eat Stuff Off the Sidewalk"... the great thing about weed is that you can actually *tell* what it is by looking at it, smelling it, etc. I feel reasonably secure in my weed-detection skills in this respect. Whereas that vial of blue crystals my bandmate found on the floor of a liquor store recently... well, I had to convince him not to snort it cuz there was no way of telling what the fuck it was.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Saturday, 5 February 2005 00:27 (twenty-one years ago)

i snorted plaster that had fallen off my ceiling because I thought it was a loose rock of cocaine. not my lowest moment, but down there...

― Snappy (sexyDancer), Saturday, 5 February 2005 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

See, you even knew the song I was talking about so you should have known better. And don't smoke stuff out of the garbage either you know what'll happen to youuu......

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Saturday, 5 February 2005 03:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Visit Dundee. Come on, there's an art school.

― Anna (Anna), Saturday, 5 February 2005 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

An art school opens up the vista of possibility of many more wonderful chemicals, Anna. I shall certainly follow your suggestion, but I'll need camouflage- I can't risk looking too square can I?

― Schlock, Saturday, 5 February 2005 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

cozen???

― Cathy (Cathy), Saturday, 5 February 2005 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I can sell you some weed.

where do you stay in aberdeen?

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 5 February 2005 23:51 (twenty-one years ago)

schwag?

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 5 February 2005 23:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"hey bro - got any weed in that suitcase?"

"why yes I do!"

Welcome to Vancouver.

Actually, i've witnessed this in the form of weed home delivery (the "company" was "BC |3udz". You call the number on the card, the guy comes by, opens up a suitcase, and he has all varieties.. vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, rocky road.. or combos! even mariscino cherries! variety bonanza!

― donut christ (donut), Sunday, 6 February 2005 01:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I delivered a pizza and got tipped in weed once! It was a surprise for me. I gave another pizza shop girl a ride to the bus station when she was desperate and I was supposed to be delivering. The next day her friend ordered a pie. She paid for it, and then just piled up a whole bag of weed in my hand. I didn't know what the hell to do with it. I never had any before. I drove back to the shop really quick with the stuff still in my sweaty palm, holding it out the car window, then I stuffed it in a little spice container and gave it back to the pizza shop girl. She didn't even expect it, so it was like a double favor from me. I probably should have smoked it, but I don't smoke. Oh well, it was fun to give away!

― -rainbow bum- (-rainbow bum-), Sunday, 6 February 2005 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Cheers cozen, check your email...

― Schlock (Schlock), Sunday, 6 February 2005 10:49 (twenty-one years ago)

dude I was kidding!

― cozen (Cozen), Sunday, 6 February 2005 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

this is a joking matter?!

― Schlock (Schlock), Sunday, 6 February 2005 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

anyone knows of a similar system in operation in London, help a brother out.

― stevie (stevie), Sunday, 6 February 2005 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

ten months pass...

How do I become a drug dealer?

I've decided this is the way to get ahead.

I don't really want to deal out of my house but I guess it is fine for storing product. Do I need a second cellphone?

I intend not to get high on my own supply.

― [jailhouse tattoo] (nordicskilla), Saturday, 17 December 2005 22:33 (twenty years ago)

Water bubbling,
Voice in background repeating 'make crack like this'
Masta P
Imagine substitutin crack for music
I mean dope tapes
This is how we would make it. (There it is right there)
For all you playas, hustlaz, ballas and even you smokas
Ma ma ma ma make crack like this
Masta P
Ghetto Dope No Limit Records
(Ma ma ma make crack like this)
Part of the Tobacco, Firearms, and Freedom of Speech Committee.
Thank you dope fiends for your support. Ha ha.
(Beat starts)
C Murder
Let me give a shot out to the D Boys (drug dealas)
Neighborhood dope man
I mean real niggas
Thata make a dolla out a fifteen cents
Ain't got a dime, but I rides and pay the rent
Professional crackslanger I serve fiends
I once went to jail for having rocks up in my jeans
But nowadays I be too smart for the Taz
C Murder been known to keep the rocks up in the skillet man
Waitin on a kilo they eight I'm straight you dig
What you need ten
Ain't no f**kin order too big
And makin crack like this is the song
You won't be getting yo money if yo shit ain't cooked long
Never cook yo dope it might come out brown
Them fiends gonna run yo ass clean outa town
But f**k that I'm bout to put my soldias in the game
And tell ya how to make crack from cocaine.
1. Look for the nigga wit the whitest snow
2. No buying from no nigga that you don't know
make yo way to the kitchen where the stove be
You get the baking soda I got yo D
Get the triple beam and measure out yo dope
Mix one gram of soda every seven grams of coke
An shake it up until it bubble up an get harder
Then sit the tube in some ready made cold water
Twist the bitch like a knot while it's still hot
And watch that shit while it can rise to the f**kin top
Now ya cocaine powda is crack.
Nigga I hopes you strapped cause you might get jacked.
Ghett Ghett Ghett Ghetto Dope
Ma Ma Ma Ma Make Crack like this Ghett Ghetto Dope (Repeat 4
times)
Silkk
My phone rang I picked it up
(Need some weight)
What you need
(Silkk bout a coupla K)
I had it all into powder but it ain't no thang

Gimme a coupla hours I have it all in a cake
Trust nobody got my gun and went an smacked Kane and Abel
You probably catch me choppin ki's choppin ki's up on my mom's
table
I got a big order for some coke
I called some hoes up
I want ya'll but naked while you cookin up my dope
I told ya'll we some Tru G's
See me and P and C
See expeditions with uzi's
Choppin up two ki's
Baby twenty-four oz's a piece
Cause see if it ain't about money
Then it ain't about me
Hella mail from sales
Hella yeah for scales
Come up short
My money jumpin yo ass like bail
First of all you gotta have nuts
Don't give a f**k
Nigga's duck when I bust
Cuz they know if I miss it ain't by much
Thinkin short like I'm only seventeen
A coupla dope fiends
Some oz's
A triple beam
And then playa hit yo block
And tell a bitch nigga to raise up off the spot
That's why I acts like this
But I rides rims, them gold D's (Ma Ma Make Crack like this)
I made crack like this
Chorus
Masta P
Nigga Nigga never let a nigga
Front you no dizos
Start from the ground
Work yo way up to a kilo
Get some killas on yo team
Keep one up in the chamber
For the jackas and the dope fiends
Fools come short get rowdy
Kick down doors
Show mutha f**kas that ya bout it bout it
Break ki's down to oz's
Never buy any dope
Without weighin it on the triple beam
F**k soda use B-12
Keep a stash for the tryin to take other niggas clientele
Check the man made junk for residue
Cause every fiend you miss want three or two
1. Never talk on the phone in ya house
2. Never slang dope out ya baby momma's house
3. Never f**k with snitches
Cause niggas that talk to the police is bitches
4. Keep a low key
And if you movin weight
Treat yo'self to an uzi
The first hit for free (damn)
But the next time you see me
You betta have twenty G
5. Never pay
Pimp hoes for the pussy
That's the 'Merican way
Clean up ya dirty money to good money
Cause legal money last longer than drug money.
Chorus.
Fade Out.

― adam (adam), Saturday, 17 December 2005 22:48 (twenty years ago)

You can thank me later.

― adam (adam), Saturday, 17 December 2005 22:49 (twenty years ago)

i met a cute girl at a party the other week. she looked very high. turns out she deals mdma powder

could it be...two birds with one stone?

― calderdale in the 70s (gareth), Sunday, 18 December 2005 02:10 (twenty years ago)

pot AND ecstasy? WOW!

― vahid (vahid), Sunday, 18 December 2005 02:12 (twenty years ago)

pot? i dont know anything about that, nor do i want to.

― calderdale in the 70s (gareth), Sunday, 18 December 2005 02:15 (twenty years ago)

NA meetings?

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Sunday, 18 December 2005 02:15 (twenty years ago)

pussy & pills.

― Special Agent Gene Krupa (orion), Sunday, 18 December 2005 02:32 (twenty years ago)

now thats what i'm talking about

― calderdale in the 70s (gareth), Sunday, 18 December 2005 02:33 (twenty years ago)

hahaha "Do I need a second cellphone?"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 18 December 2005 02:53 (twenty years ago)

in all fairness, he probably does need another cell. on an account with an assumed name & PO box or some shit, but that's just gettin paranoud.,

― Special Agent Gene Krupa (orion), Sunday, 18 December 2005 03:10 (twenty years ago)

No account, just one of those phones where you add minutes. Use a store-bought AmEx card for that.

― Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Sunday, 18 December 2005 03:11 (twenty years ago)

Gareth there is potential there.

Gareth sell me drugs.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Sunday, 18 December 2005 12:13 (twenty years ago)

i know special agent, it just sounded funny

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

like something a mom would ask

― s1ocki (slutsky), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

I wasn't being serious.

― [jailhouse tattoo] (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 00:21 (twenty years ago)

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