Cockblockers And What To Do With Them

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Kill em all?

Discuss.

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Sunday, 6 February 2005 20:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i cock block all the time.

― phil-two (phil-two), Sunday, 6 February 2005 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Qui est un cockblocker?

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 6 February 2005 20:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, whatever science has developed to block those dangerous cock rays is fine by me.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Sunday, 6 February 2005 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

You CAN cockblock if: it's your sister, it's someone you're seeing/planning on seeing/used to see till recently, someone you 'really care about and don't want to see get hurt', but really, isn't it mostly just jealousy/sexual paternalism?

The cockblocker in my life right now has a GF and their mutual longtime friend is on my shit and the cockblockery he has demonstrated of late is like woe: he sets her up with other dudes (who she rejects/ignores to come party with me), he tells me all these negative things about her, he invites her out last in hopes I don't pick her up first, etc etc etc. She's really hot and they go back a ways - "I've known her since FOREVER man, she's like my little sister" - but why would Le Coq give a FUCK about that?!?

Suck it up dude. Let a nigga live. If it's going to happen, you are not going to stop it. D-train 2005 is not stopping for cockblockers.

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Sunday, 6 February 2005 20:46 (twenty-one years ago)

um, i dont think i would let my friend sleep with you either, come to think of it..

― phil-two (phil-two), Sunday, 6 February 2005 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah but you're gay

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Sunday, 6 February 2005 20:51 (twenty-one years ago)

and phil i dont actually know if you're beefing here but as an olive branch you should come to vancouver because my fagboys are the most beautiful fagboys you have ever met - I'm straight as fuck but i don't mind at all when some of them niggas grind on me, that's how hot they are. And it's not like I'd ever cockblock you, cockface

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Sunday, 6 February 2005 21:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh fucking hell I have this friend, let's call him J, and he's the worst like this. Despite the fact that he sleeps with more girls than anyone I know he still seems to think he is some kind of righteous shining white knight.

A few months ago after a party, this friend of ours kept asking me if I was going to make a move on her friend, cos according to her said friend really liked me and there was definite chemistry there etc. Anyway I wasn't actually really interested but I mentioned this story to J and he was like

"Oh no I don't think she fancies you, she's very flirty, I wouldn't try anything, no really, I wouldn't. She definitely doesn't."

"But why did her close friend say that to me then, and also she ISN'T very flirty!"

"Oh no, oh god that's not true"

I mean for fuck's sake just this ONE TIME one of those girls who does teaching and not drugs actually fancies me and my medicine studying friend is all "NO THE FORCES OF GOOD PREVENT HER FROM LIKING YOU RONAN, NOW FETCH ME MY STEED".

Asshole!

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 6 February 2005 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

cockblockers=the self righteous

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 6 February 2005 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i cock-blocked a dude once who was trying to hit on my friend's drunk 16 yr old sister.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 7 February 2005 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

back with another one of those cockblockin' beats

cockfarmin' more like

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Monday, 7 February 2005 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"Cockblocker"!

You really fdo learn a new word every day, don't you!

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Monday, 7 February 2005 14:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought the term was universal.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cockblocker

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't doubt it, but it had somehow passed me by.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

The worst is the NGOCB (non goal-oriented cockblocking, i.e. cockblocking for its own sake).

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

pre-emptive multi-threaded cockblocking is my least favourite kind. i.e. fucking up your chances with every girl before you even make a move on anybody.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Sex is weirder than I ever even dreamed of. Sigh.

― The Phantom of the Operating System (kate), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

There is nothing funnier than cockblocking for no discernable reason!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

at least you can't get cock-blocked, kate!

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, maybe I should rephrase. MEN are weirder than I ever really dreamed of...

― The Phantom of the Operating System (kate), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

The best is when someone is about to achieve insertion but they find the little stop sign you've managed to put in front of the target's vagina. NONSTOP LARFFS!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i've been trying to think of a name for a female version of cock-blocking but they all sound terribly rude. (tho i guess that's the idea)

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm still having trouble getting my head around the concept. So, it's like, when one person attempts to stop two other people from having sex.

― The Phantom of the Operating System (kate), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

No it's when one person attempts to stop the common farmyard animal from running past them.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

to prevent them from chatting up the birds

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

What's the opposite of a cockblocker? A penispusher?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

It all sounds like such a lot of work, you know, why bother? Makes me just never want to have sex again in my life. I wonder where I can find a cockblocker to emply, then.

― The Phantom of the Operating System (kate), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

It's non gender specific. A block is a block.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

What's the opposite of a cockblocker? A penispusher?

A pimp. Dude.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

In the old days of hollywood, it was "someone knocking on the door"

Later, it was "someone on the phone"

In the carry on movies, it was "someone coming through the ceiling in a bath"

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I was trying to think of a female-themed version of "cockblocker" and stopped when I got to "pussy protector" because I couldn't get past the image of a nerdy vagina filled with pens.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree with Mark G. If you leave out lesbians, cock blocking works well because men can block the cocks of others, while women can block other women from getting cock.

Lesbians, though, will have to make their own word.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Lesbo-cockblock?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:52 (twenty-one years ago)

dykeplugging?

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Rugmunchobfuscate.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Clamscram?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

thank you mam

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Some friends of mine call it vagina-blocking. Seriously.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

That brings to mind those "dental dam" things that I never believe anyone ever used.

So, it would be the opposite of "Dambusters".

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 7 February 2005 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't think i heard the term used before Victor on Big Brother last year to be honest, not that i'm suggesting he coined it

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Monday, 7 February 2005 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a very American term.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 February 2005 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

But isn't there some way to block the cock-blocker, too? Maybe enlist an outside party in the services of cockblockblocking?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 7 February 2005 16:03 (twenty-one years ago)

SET THE PICK!

― Basketball 101 (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 February 2005 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

minge infringer

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 7 February 2005 16:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Cock-liberators!

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Monday, 7 February 2005 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

QUIM-QUASHER

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 7 February 2005 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

cunt shunter

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 7 February 2005 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Dildo Deviator (for the Sapphites)

― Michael White (Hereward), Monday, 7 February 2005 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Dave Chappelle did a great sketch on this subject for season 2 of his show..

― Dude, are you a 15 year old asian chick? (jingleberries), Monday, 7 February 2005 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Clamscram! Now there's a band name.

Fannytastic.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

quimquasher!

I am going to have that word on loop in my head for weeks now. it's fun to say.

― The Lex (The Lex), Monday, 7 February 2005 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I've never heard this phrase used in real life, but a female cockblock is supposedly a "saltshaker." For example: "When a guy is going up to 'put the mack down' on a lady, his main opposition will be the girl's friend that she is with.... She is known as 'the saltshaker,' because she is going to try and throw salt in his game." I don't know whether that's true or not -- because I'm an old, old man who struggles not to begin every sentence with the word "dude" -- but it's what I've been told by the Youth.

Also, that link is from a publication in Milwaukee, so YMMV.

― subgenius (subgenius), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 01:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Cockblocker is unisex. Girl who blocks other girl from cock = cockblocker. That's how I've heard it used most often, more than someone blocking a guy.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 01:44 (twenty-one years ago)

three months pass...

the Cockblocker of Whitechapel Town is an annoying over-protective mother hen that really should stop being such a useless tub of lard;)

― charltonlido (gareth), Monday, 9 May 2005 09:11 (twenty years ago)

i mean, this guy is a serial cockblocker, has he got nothing better to do with his time?

― charltonlido (gareth), Monday, 9 May 2005 09:14 (twenty years ago)

which guy was it?

― $V£N! (blueski), Monday, 9 May 2005 09:24 (twenty years ago)

Haha cockblocking is awesome when you do it in that non-goal oriented totally off-handed "i am fucking up your game just because I CAN" way somewhat alluded to above.

It's especially satisfying to do it by winning the attention of the person that your asshole drunk friend / colleague is trying to seduce....particularly if sexual orientation is rendered irrelevant a factor, and you work on only your charm, effortlessly and all that. From my experience guys seem to handle cockblocking better than girls and vagina-blocking. Girls are always for some reason angrier if they get blocked!

― Vichitravirya XI, Monday, 9 May 2005 09:25 (twenty years ago)

True dat. Regrettably, there are girls who decide that female cockblock = open season on all female cockbloker's male mates for the foreseeable future (or at least I've known a few).

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 9 May 2005 09:31 (twenty years ago)

If the serial cockblocker puts his bespectacled stupid-goateed potbellied form anywhere near me in the future, I might be compelled to kill him. Also he has an annoying habit of picking situations where no one wants to be blocked.

I have cockblocked for my female friends on several occasions, but only when they've asked me to, usually when trying to fend off the advances of some lumbering glazed-eyed incoherant arsehole.

Oh shit, I just worked that one out...

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 9 May 2005 19:44 (twenty years ago)

Also Vic, I am fairly sure he is charmless.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 9 May 2005 19:45 (twenty years ago)

But Matt...does he own (and ever wear) a pink shirt? That's the final question to everything these days.

Btw, I wonder if you've seen my "reel-life" friend C4r0lin3 in London anytime recently; she said she was still friends with you when I talked to her late sometime last year, but I believe she's staying in Dublin for now. If you run into the girl (and she'll probably be drunk when you do), tell her hey from me...and to come home already!!

― Vichitravirya XI, Monday, 9 May 2005 21:50 (twenty years ago)

no, vic, i dont think hes worn a pink shirt. even if he did, it would not redeem him. he is the most useless person ever. well, ok, he's quite good at cockblocking. well, he's relentless at it, he doens't always succeed, that is

― charltonlido (gareth), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 04:04 (twenty years ago)

I think cockblocking is a fine sport, and we should bet on it, like the horses.

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 04:06 (twenty years ago)

like which cack-smotherer has the highest ratio of prevention?

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Tuesday, 10 May 2005 04:15 (twenty years ago)

Hah! Look at one of the images at this 'spoof' exhibit

― it's mashed potato time! (dymaxia), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

Cockblockers are just sneaky eugenics proponents.

― Zebra, Alpha Go! (cprek), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 17:53 (twenty years ago)

I had to do a little cockblocking yesterday when certain members of LCD Soundsystem started trying to lay the mack down on my G/F on the tourbus, but once they figured that out it was fine.

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 18:09 (twenty years ago)

that sounds more like cockjousting.

― donut debonair (donut), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 18:19 (twenty years ago)

figuratively speaking.

― donut debonair (donut), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 18:20 (twenty years ago)

swordplay?

― Zebra, Alpha Go! (cprek), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 18:34 (twenty years ago)

Vic - I haven't seen C4r0line in ages, sadly - we keep attempting to meet up every time she comes over but things keep getting in the way. When I do see her again, should I tell her I know Spencer Chow?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 18:52 (twenty years ago)

You know who cockblocks way too much? Is Jesus.

― nabisco (nabisco), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 18:56 (twenty years ago)

i totally cockblocked a friend of mine a couple weeks ago who was way too drunk to remember the known diseases of the girl he was about to get with.
i felt like superman.

― Fetchboy (Felcher), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 19:08 (twenty years ago)

You used your cockblocking powers for good and not evil.

― Zebra, Alpha Go! (cprek), Wednesday, 11 May 2005 19:28 (twenty years ago)

nabisco OTM so much it hurts

― mike h. (mike h.), Thursday, 12 May 2005 02:39 (twenty years ago)

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