The Totally Unresearched Random But "Real-Sounding" Postulation Thread

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Children who habitually pick their noses,
or children who recoil overly from most smells (eg. children who order plain hamburgers at McDonald's or act like a bitch if Dad is smoking around them) eventually become cocaine users, or smokers, or both.

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:08 (twenty-one years ago)

People who start threads are lonely.

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Children who habitually suck their fingers,
or children who instinctively insert cylindrical objets (eg. children who suck and chew on McDonalds straws or act like a bitch if Dad bank teller won't give them a lollipop) eventually become cocksuckers, or snatchtonguers or both.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:16 (twenty-one years ago)

My roommate swears that the earth's poles could totally reverse position overnight. I say it's bunk-o, and he can't be damned to provide a single piece of reference for his theory, but it sounds cool.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:17 (twenty-one years ago)

That "walked over yr grave" feeling? Yeah thats yer blood changing direction buddy.

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:19 (twenty-one years ago)

That's bunk-o. They will switch (I believe they have begun switching now), but it's a process that takes many thousands of years.

xpost

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Polar bears are white, not because they've adapted to blend in with the tundra, but because seal blubber is the original bleach.

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Researchers at Berkeley in 2002 performed a study with 682 volunteers divided into roughly equal study and control groups. The study group were instructed to step on at least ten cracks per day when walking on the sidewalk. The control group were given no specific walking instructions.

After a one-year trial, the researchers discovered a 12% higher incidence of broken backs suffered by the mothers of those in the study group compared to those in the control group.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Monkeys are willing to pay (bananas) to look a pictures of other monkeys's butts.

― Huk-L, Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Even though most women claim they find the smell unpleasant,they are significantly more likely to sit on a seat sprayed with male pheromone.

― thee music mole, Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Dipping a latex condom in soy milk and leaving it to dry under a UV lamp strengthens the material by up to 300%, and allows the condom to be safely used many times over.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Drinking alcohol is actually quite beneficial to smoking. One might wonder why smoking seems easier whilst intoxicated, and the answer is actually quite simple: When you drink, the alcohol enters your lungs and forms a sort of temporary protective coating on the inside, thus rendering the effects of smoke virtually nil. It's advisable for smokers to actually drink whenever they do smoke. On every smoke break at work, one should also consume a single beer, or have a few sips from a flask of liquor. If one is undergoing a period of extreme stress and is chain-smoking, one should consume alcohol at an equal pace. It's for these reasons that one shouldn't smoke while driving, because aas we all know you can't drink and drive. Wait until you reach your destination or the next rest stop, and then smoke and drink to your heart's--and your lungs'--content.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:46 (twenty-one years ago)

thee music mole, I have field research which corroborates your thesis almost precisely.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh man Gear I wish your one was true! :9

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you know, the characters on Capn Pugwash were called Seaman Stanes and Master Bates! OMG

― Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:50 (twenty-one years ago)

there are beings that exist on the edges of conciousness, beings that disguise themselves with our mythology to control and manipulate us for their own unfathomable ends.

*evil laugh*

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:54 (twenty-one years ago)

They're all out to get me.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:57 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.lioneye.homestead.com/files/jesus_laughing_oval.jpg

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 07:57 (twenty-one years ago)

gear! otm

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 08:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Every time Latebloomer says otm a fluffy lamb dies.

― Masked Gazza, Tuesday, 8 February 2005 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I now believe all of these things, just because you said them.

― Michael Philip Philip Philip Philip Annoyman v1.0 (Ferg), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 16:31 (twenty-one years ago)

At least two of the above posters have made genuine and verifiable postulations in order to fuck with your mind.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

NNNGH

― Michael Philip Philip Philip Philip Annoyman v1.0 (Ferg), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

if you masturbate in the shower the cum goes down the drain and into the sewer where it fertilizes the used tampons down there to create a race of subterranean period creatures

― dave q (listerine), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

dave, that's clearly true though.

― Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Erections are caused by tiny magnetically-charged microbes in the flesh of the penis reacting to natural ores present in certain combinations of natural gasses.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost
so my parents were right..

― Masked Gazza, Tuesday, 8 February 2005 16:54 (twenty-one years ago)

google image result for "period creatures"

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/link/images/hist_img_02_camb.jpg

― Aaron A., Tuesday, 8 February 2005 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Casino slot machines are capable of getting "constipated". If you see one getting fed with dollar coins and not offering a reward of ten bucks even every once in awhile, keep playing it. Eventually, the machine will get so full that it will burst, dropping at least a grand down in the bottom of the tray.

Glo-sticks aren't toxic at all! The glowing effect is completely organic, coming from the same bacteria that lights up fireflies. It is completely okay to break the tube open and drink the contents of a glo-stick. All that will happen is your veins will give off a slight glow, and your pee will entertain you for about five minutes once sunrise comes.

And if you know Sunrise, you know she likes to come.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Aaron, those are fauna of the Burgess Shale! (Marrella and, um, Sanctacaris, I think, the big one with the round mouth) They're my current favourite fossils - Stephen Jay Gould's "Wonderful Life" is a truly fantastic book all about them.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Every time Latebloomer says otm a fluffy lamb dies.
-- Masked Gazza (m...), February 8th, 2005.

not just lambs but the LAMB OF GOD:

http://www.lioneye.homestead.com/files/jesus_laughing_oval.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

masked gazza otm!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 8 February 2005 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

(Remy, the earth's magnetic field has in fact switched polarity many times.)

― The Mad Puffin, Tuesday, 8 February 2005 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Until 1997 in Canada all witnesses in court cases that were entered into witness protection were actually executed after the trial had been concluded.

This was done to cut costs and avoid the possibility of the witnesses new identities being uncovered and putting them in danger of retaliation from the criminals they helped put in prison.

This practice was only stopped when a number of high profile cases went to appeal and the original witnesses could not be found.

― Davel (Davel), Wednesday, 9 February 2005 08:47 (twenty years ago)

I know it's switched polarity; it's the overnight piece with which I have trouble ... understanding 'overnight' meaning literally overnight and not metaphorically so - necessitating the pole shift occur at 1037.56458 mph during a sustainee 12-hr period.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Wednesday, 9 February 2005 09:34 (twenty years ago)

A pedant writes: it can't shift "overnight" because at any given time it's always day at at one of the poles anyway

― caitlin (caitlin), Wednesday, 9 February 2005 12:09 (twenty years ago)

Aaron A you are a braver googler than i

― Nellie (nellskies), Wednesday, 9 February 2005 14:33 (twenty years ago)

AC/DC is a known, potent afrodesiac, as all of their songs are played in the same key as the resonant frequency of the human reproductive organs.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 9 February 2005 14:36 (twenty years ago)

If youre a man but you walk like a woman and women know you're a man then women will like you because in your walking they see something familiar yet unfamiliar, something wrong yet right. Women have investigative minds - I mean have you seen how many women there are on CSI? CSI Miami?

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Wednesday, 9 February 2005 20:51 (twenty years ago)

Dipping a latex condom in soy milk and leaving it to dry under a UV lamp strengthens the material by up to 300%, and allows the condom to be safely used many times over.
-- MindInRewind

Barry I need to know if you're telling the truth NOW.

― thee music mole, Wednesday, 9 February 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

Ask his kids.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 9 February 2005 21:20 (twenty years ago)

OH SNAP

(get it? lol)

― LeCoq (LeCoq), Wednesday, 9 February 2005 21:24 (twenty years ago)

OK, that was just wrong.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 9 February 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

Colin, don't take my word for it ... YOU'D BETTER TEST IT OUT FOR YOURSELF.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 9 February 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

A near-instant ice age is likely to be triggered within a generation by solar flares. The flares will polarize the molecules in the earth's atmosphere, causing them to form massive columns of motionless air which, though still a gas, take on a crystalline molecular structure and are 90% more transparent to radiant heat than normal air. These giant heat funnels will only last about three hours, but in that time, enough of the Earth's heat will escape out through them to lower the global temperature by 7 degrees Celsius, enough to trigger a new ICE AGE!

― Bnad, Wednesday, 9 February 2005 22:21 (twenty years ago)

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