NEWSFLASH: The Prince of Wales is to marry Camilla Parker Bowles,

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So I just heard...... Do you care though?

And will we al get to have street Parties like the last time he got married. I was six and had some union jack socks.
Will we be able to get Tea towels to mark the occasion too? I hope so.

― Paul Kelly (kelly), Thursday, 10 February 2005 09:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Vive La République.

― Jonathan Z. (Joanthan Z.), Thursday, 10 February 2005 09:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Will there be an Al-Qaeda attack on the day?

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 10 February 2005 09:55 (twenty-one years ago)

The Queen'll want to have words when she finds out.

― lock robster (robster), Thursday, 10 February 2005 09:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck 'em all. They are inbred tossers. I say feed Charles to a hungry lion and make the lion happy. He's got about as much use to this world as Ned Raggett or someone similarly useless like Rob Black.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 10 February 2005 09:58 (twenty-one years ago)

From the BBC's story:

Of those who responded to a Populus poll, 32% said they would support Charles if he remarried, while 29 percent were opposed.

However, most people - 38% - said they did not care

(nor do I)

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Off with his head.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:01 (twenty-one years ago)

But.......but......street parties......patriotic socks......tea-towels drunk Dads and jokes about Royal Nuptials..........

You're right....who cares?

― Paul Kelly (kelly), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Can't he marry someone worthwhile like Debbie Gibson?

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:05 (twenty-one years ago)

do we get the day off work? surely that's part of the deal...

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Somehow I can't imagine there being as much cash-in merchandising as there was for his first marriage.

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Translation - second wife considerably uglier ;)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Surely Charles aint gonna go "down" on such a hag?

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I wholeheartedly support the monarchy. They are great. I love them all.

― alix (alix), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:14 (twenty-one years ago)

'marrying Camilla causes some problems for the future head of the Church of England'

'she's a munter'

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:15 (twenty-one years ago)

It makes no difference whatsoever because the Church of England is the Church of England and therefore the easiest religion in the world to be head of. Don't like something? Change it, that's why it exists in the first place. And who's really going to care other than Ann Widdecombe and a few million people in Nigeria?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:18 (twenty-one years ago)

She will be shocked on the wedding night to see that Charles had a multicoloured penis.

― Paul Kelly (kelly), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Would anyone here fight Charles? I hear he likes to kill wildlife so I'd probably smack him in the face if I had the chance.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Apparently it is because he kept sticking it in Di.

Di...dye.....lady Di......you see what I did there? Geddit?

― Paul Kelly (kelly), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:24 (twenty-one years ago)

you should fight him calum, i'll be right behind you.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Off with his head.

As per the Most NSFW Thread Ever?

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

"Fuck 'em all."

No thanks.

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

instead of tea towels i want to see some camilla parker bowls.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:29 (twenty-one years ago)

camilla parker pens

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anything good come from the Monarchy except that scene in the office where Brent tells the Queen/ black man’s cock joke and gets into bother and worms his way out and the whole sequence is utterly hilarious?

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:30 (twenty-one years ago)

tell us a joke cal

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:31 (twenty-one years ago)

What’s black and white and cannot turn around in a lift?

A nun with a javelin through her throat.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I reckon Chuck could take C-Man, he's an "outdoor, skiing, polo playing athletic" sort rather than a "stay at home, watch horror movies and wank over Debbie Gibson" sort.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Can I just say:

A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse

― Dave B (daveb), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:34 (twenty-one years ago)

The royals can cure scrofula, the king can anyway. That is something.

― Paul Kelly (kelly), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

wanking is a good cadiovascular exercise though.

sic

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Don't underestimate the powah of someone fighting for what they believe in. Charles shoots wildlife.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:42 (twenty-one years ago)

that's because they are dumb animals

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:47 (twenty-one years ago)

(it's up to you to decide if i'm referring to the Royals or the wildlife).

will the wedding be a huge televised thing or did that all die with Andrew (or perhaps Diana's funeral?). it would be too embarassing surely.

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Callum's antipathy towards the Royal Family is almost enough to turn me into a royalist

― Oh Dadaismus, Poor Dadaismus, Mama's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' (Dad, Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

We should have a total television celebration. Just imagine it – Brian May! Phil Collins! Ozzy Osbourne! Geri Halliwell! Ben Elton! The list of credible celebs would be huge.

Alternately they should have me arrange it. I’d have Bob Englund as the host and Tony Todd as the best man and live music by Pete Doherty and The Killers and it would RULE.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

the killers WOULD be good actually, i must say..

"somebody told me, you've got a girlfriend, who looks like a boyfriend.." etc

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 February 2005 10:57 (twenty-one years ago)

It seems the fact that one of the world's richest men has chosen to marry an "ugly" woman is offensive to the fair and open-minded people of ILX, maybe he should marry Paris Hilton?

― Oh Dadaismus, Poor Dadaismus, Mama's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' (Dad, Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Paris Hilton is fugly too. ;-)

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Let's not go there again!

― Oh Dadaismus, Poor Dadaismus, Mama's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' (Dad, Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Paris Hilton is totally hot.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:08 (twenty-one years ago)

You are nothing if not predictable C-Man

― Oh Dadaismus, Poor Dadaismus, Mama's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' (Dad, Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh come on, her movie was one of the best things released straight to DVD all last year!

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:17 (twenty-one years ago)

It'll be a good day to "accidentally" run over and kill some urban rioters, as happened in Toxteth in '81.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I heard most of it was done with CGI (xpost)

― Oh Dadaismus, Poor Dadaismus, Mama's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' (Dad, Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Does this mean that EMI will release The Tampax Tapes as a Royal Commemorative Box Set, with remixes by Sir Paul McCartney and Guru Josh?

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Camilla Parker-Bowles looks exactly like what you might expect the love child of Evan Parker and Peter Bowles to look like.

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i think Guru Josh is a bit too busy to be getting involved in things like that

xpost

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Camilla Parker-Bowles looks exactly like what you might expect the love child of Evan Parker and Peter Bowles to look like.

Parker from Thunderbirds and Stan Bowles more like

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Charles = Adolphe Sax(e-Coburg) + Babs Windsor

― Oh Dadaismus, Poor Dadaismus, Mama's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' (Dad, Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I have to say, I thought Diana was a munter (“Oooh she’s lovely” says the public. C-Man chips in, “No she has a schnoze larger than Barbara Streisand and looks inbred”) but this really takes the biscuit.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha ha, the Tampax Tapes, remember Squidgygate? Oh how we laughed!

― Oh Dadaismus, Poor Dadaismus, Mama's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' (Dad, Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Paul McCartney is apparently sampling and looping this bit. Guru Josh is supplying the beats.

Camilla: Night-night, my darling."
Charles: "Darling....."
Camilla: "I do love you."
Charles: (Sleepily) "Before..."
Camilla: "Before half past eight."
Charles: "Try and ring?"
Camilla: "Yeah, if you can. Love you darling."
Charles: "Night, Darling."
Camilla: "I love you."
Charles: "I love you too. I don't want to say goodbye."
Camilla: "Well done, for doing that. You're a clever old thing. An awfully good brain lurking there, isn't there? Oh, darling, I think you ought to give the brain a rest now. Night-Night."
Charles: "Night darling, God bless."
Camilla: "I do love you, and I'm so proud of you."
Charles: "Oh, I'm so proud of you."
Camilla: "Don't be silly. I've never achieved anything."
Charles: "Yes, you have."
Camilla: "No, I haven't."
Charles: "You're greatest achievement is to love me."
Camilla: "Oh, darling easier than falling off a chair."
Charles: "You suffer all these indignities and tortures and calumnies!"
Camilla: "Oh, darling don't be so silly I'd suffer anything for you. That's love. It's the strength of love. Night-night."
Charles: "Night darling. Sounds if you're dragging an enormous piece of string behind you, with hundreds of tin pots and cans attached to it. Night-night, before the battery goes. (Blows kiss) Night."
Camilla: "Love you."
Charles: "Don't want to say goodbye."
Camilla: "Neither do I, but you must get some sleep, Bye."
Charles: "Bye, darling."
Camilla: "Love you."
Charles: "Bye."
Camilla: "Hopefully talk to you in the morning."
Charles: "Please!"
Camilla: "Bye, I do love you."
Charles: "Night."
Camilla: "Night."
Charles: "Night."
Camilla: "Love you, forever."
Charles: "Night."
Camilla: "G'bye. Bye, my darling."
Charles: "Night."
Camilla: "Night-night."
Charles: "Night."
Camilla: "Bye-bye."
Charles: "Going."
Camilla: "Gone."
Charles: "Going."
Camilla: "Gone."
Charles: "Night."
Camilla: "Bye, Press the button."
Charles: "Going to press the tit."
Camilla: "All right darling; God--I wish you were pressing mine."
Charles: "God, I wish I was! Harder and harder!"
Camilla: "Oh, darling!"
Charles: "Night."
Camilla: "Night."
Charles: "Love you."
Camilla: (Yawning) "Love you. Press the tit."
Charles: "Adore you. Night."
Camilla: "Night."
Charles: "Night."
Camilla: ( Blowing a kiss sound)
Charles: "Night."
Camilla: "G'night my darling, Love you."
Charles finally hangs up the phone. Sir Paul starts the loop again, Josh scratches and matches the BPMs.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

"Sounds if you're dragging an enormous piece of string behind you, with hundreds of tin pots and cans attached to it"

I'm using this as a chat-up line tonight

― Oh Dadaismus, Poor Dadaismus, Mama's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feelin' (Dad, Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Why hasn't someone made "Diana: The Movie" yet? I mean as a big budget Hollywood film. The Americans love our royalty because they don't have to live with them and, well, it's quaint.

― C-Man (C-Man), Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Press the tit!

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:40 (twenty-one years ago)

do you think when Josh wakes up every morning he looks at his alarm clock and says "7:24...time for the Guru"

and when he's in the shower and the water goes a bit too hot and then too cold because his wife's fiddling with the kitchen taps he says 'ah ah ooh ah!'

and then when he's doing the garden he says 'whose lawn is it anyway?! i wanna know!'

― Record Mirror 1990 (blueski), Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

There are plenty of bargains available in the B&Q Sale On Now!

― Guru Josh 2005, Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

those B&Q aisles carry on into infinity

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Thursday, 10 February 2005 11:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Why hasn't someone made "Diana: The Movie" yet? I mean as a big budget Hollywood film

Because nobody watched the low-budget miniseries?

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 10 February 2005 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's good, it should have happened in the first place.
I'm glad that they're both going to be happy.

― Nellie (nellskies), Thursday, 10 February 2005 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

But I thought he was gay?

[IMG]http://img146.exs.cx/img146/6785/colbert9lq.jpg[/IMG]

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Thursday, 10 February 2005 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

His own mum ain't goin'

― EComplex (EComplex), Wednesday, 23 February 2005 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Hooray!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/newspapers/28_february_2005/img/1.jpg

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Monday, 28 February 2005 05:06 (twenty years ago)

The man/beast/transvestite is going, apparently?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 28 February 2005 05:14 (twenty years ago)

harry looks...carniviorous or something. "that steak is mine!"

― latebloomer: The Heavy Metal Velveeta Faction (latebloomer), Monday, 28 February 2005 05:32 (twenty years ago)

We're not going to get a day off for this, are we?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 28 February 2005 10:43 (twenty years ago)

No, I don't think so.

― C J (C J), Monday, 28 February 2005 11:30 (twenty years ago)

used to be the royals were good for a day off, damn country's going to the dogs.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Monday, 28 February 2005 11:32 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

According to rumours going round British newsrooms, the Queen has got a serious illness and may not be long for this world - hence the rushed Charles-Camilla marriage to prepare him for the throne. But we hope that, like her gin-pickled Mum, Liz continues to defy the Grim Reaper for another few decades.

― James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Friday, 1 April 2005 02:12 (twenty years ago)

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