North Korea: Someone Set Us Up The Bomb

HEY WAIT, AYATOLLAH, STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING, SEVERE REPERCUSSIONS, DUDE, I AM SERIOUS

TOMBOT STILL HAS 2.5 YEARS LEFT ON INACTIVE RESERVE STATUS AND IS NOT HAPPY WITH THIS "NEWS"

xpost

Half-cremated remains? That is some gruesome shit.

Can't the US threaten Iran for a week straight without Kim Jong Il getting a complex about it?

It appears that you are very desperate for attention. Yes, yes, I know, we have all known for a long time that you actually have weaponry, unlike most other countries that the United States decides to, um, altercate with. But we all know this, about the bombs; you aren't doing anything new.

What you need to realize is that communism is so 15 years ago now. I mean, no one cares! Seriously. Nice outfits, though. Anyway, you have to ditch that. Forget about your Soviet weaponry too, you don't need it.

What you need to do is become crazed Confucian fundamentalists and blow up a couple buildings, or even just send threatening letters to the President referencing Confucius. You will feel the pressure of the Order of Teutonic KnightsUS Military in no time whatsoever!

Remember, in order for them to make you feel like a bad, bad boy, you have to make the President feel special too. You just aren't working it right now.

Sincerely,
Ally

good thing i'm getting some practice in by playing this first

remember folks, after the bombs finally stop, beware of the giant radiated scorpions. they'll REALLY ruin your day.

I can't look at that picture without thinking of the "I'm so Ronry" song.

Anyway, Iran's still way higher on Bushfuck's shitlist than North Korea. Also: I've tried to toe a certain line of political moderation over the past year or so, and in the past week I've found it totally impossible. I guess I'll come out as totally, diametrically, impossibly opposed to the current regime with a sureness-of-mind I haven't felt for anybody but Raygun. Somebody resurrect Adorno and stick him up for office, 'cus he's our only hope.

Also the Heavy Guns skill seems really cool but is actually useless.

i have yet to encounter the Tardis, tho

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/31/world/asia/us-analysts-see-opportunity-if-north-korea-tests-nuclear-bomb.html

boom

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/12/world/asia/north-korea-nuclear-test.html?

ot i read this recently and thought it was quite good:

http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/5/55627/1982523-pyongyang__a_journey_in_north_korea__26__2005____page_1_large.jpg

north korea confirmed the test today

oh boy

About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/02/16/report_north_korea_ready_to_carry_out_new_nuclear_test.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9D6GO7GlVjc

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2013/03/04/world/asia/ap-un-un-north-korea.html

Well, this doesn't seem particularly good:

North Korea is vowing to cancel the 1953 Korean War cease-fire because of sanctions and ongoing U.S.-South Korean joint military drills.

North Korea's Korean People's Army Supreme Command made the statement Tuesday amid reports that Washington and North Korean ally Beijing have approved a draft of punishing resolutions that is expected to be circulated among U.N. Security Council members this week. North Korea's latest nuclear test on Feb. 12 was its third. The United States and others worry that North Korea is pushing closer toward its goal of having nuclear-armed missiles that can reach America.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/03/07/us-korea-north-attack-idUSBRE9260BR20130307

(Reuters) - North Korea threatened the United States on Thursday with a preemptive nuclear strike, raising the level of rhetoric as the U.N. Security Council approved new sanctions against the reclusive country.

Man, I really hope NK doesn't nuke the US.

I can't possibly be the only person on ilx concerned about NK taking nuclear hostages in a week, right?

it's bizarre how no one is really talking about it either. this is the entirety of the front page coverage the threats are getting on the NYT (the new sanctions have more prominent billing):

http://i45.tinypic.com/2n711f4.png

1) No one believes NK has the wherewithal/technology to do this
2) No one believe NK has a death wish

The bluster might be bigger, but it really begs the world to call its bluff.

I got to think the Chinese have enough sway in the KPA and probably operatives in place in North Korea pull off a coup d'état if someone at the top actually thought about really hitting the button and blowing up the Korean penninsula and other things. Ultimately at this point the NK have been a good tool for China to use to goad South Korea, the US and Japan over the years but only to the point they start screwing with business and China making cold cash.

The last couple times NK got really nuts with this stuff China smacked them across the chops and cut off their oil to bring them to heel and that rhetoric wasn't quite vitriolic as this lunacy the last couple of days and it was with the old weirdo. I got to think their patience with 'junior' is going to be bit less in the end and you would have to think there are Army and Govt. cats in that country that know they could clean up and get some real cash if just get to be Myanmar crazy and not try to be Dr. Doom.

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2013/03/11/north_korean_pastoral

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/files/fp_uploaded_images/130307_farmerslift.jpg

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/files/fp_uploaded_images/130307_DPRKguide.jpg

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/files/fp_uploaded_images/130307_0_cornfield800.jpg

i hope nk nukes the west coast just to put an end to north korea internet lulz

Korea has a long, deep cultural tradition, and Koreans tend to be very resilient in the face of hardship. It is one reason why the North has not fallen apart.

What is China's relationship with S. Korea?

they cool.

historical tensions (far less complicated or bitter than the historical relationship between china-japan or korea-japan) with the typical east asian territorial disputes (far less complicated or bitter than territorial disputes that sk has with japan and without the fucked up historical background that involves violent invasion and colonization) and with the present disagreement about what to do about north korea + strong historical/cultural links (large korean community in northern china + the importance of historical cultural exchanges between the two people + present massive consumption of korean pop culture in china + both united by hatred of the japanese [their hatreds of the japanese are v different, i think, but whatever brings people together, right?]).

both have tried to move away from less successful authoritarian forms of government (in 2 v different ways obv) and are trying to make a lot of money and not stay in beef.

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-south-korea-blase-20130406,0,3032005.story

Although some people expressed fear, the overriding emotions toward the North were irritation and ennui.

i don't agree w/ everything said here but i think it's an interesting thought experiment:
http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2013/04/why-do-we-laugh-at-north-korea-but-fear-iran/274680/

http://media.economist.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/full-width/images/print-edition/20130406_ASP001_0.jpg

uh, here's a new propaganda video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua7hlukgLBY

i like the part at 0:55 when the officer gestures with his gun - and points it at his fellow soldier. nice job there!

i guess the lol moment is supposed to be 20 seconds in, though, when a german shepherd attacks a dummy of the south korean defense minister.

jeez! of 1:20 in, when the guy shakes his gun AT THE INTERVIEWER

north korea is certainly leading the world in the fashion forwardness of its military's hats

when the guy shakes his gun AT THE INTERVIEWER

yeah jeez this is like gun safety 101

also, his finger is inside the trigger guard.

also, the dogs are jumping through fire (dog safety 101 ish)

Eh, you can find amateur US militia clips scarier than that.

US militias are generally better armed.

this is really interesting: http://sinonk.com/2013/04/03/the-historical-roots-of-defensive-fundamentalism-in-north-korea-maurizio-riotto/

it is!

if you haven't yet, i'd recommend checking out brian myers' the cleanest race, which covers some of the same ground (roots of korean national, the influence of foreign dicking around with and occupation of korea, incl historical invasions of korea by japan and the slow occupation that ended with annexation in 1910, but also china's historically paternalistic approach toward the korean peninsula which can't be forgotten and still colors sino-korean relations today) but emphasizes korean racial ideology.

just for fun, here's br thrashing bruce cumings http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2004/09/mother-of-all-mothers/303403/

http://sinonk.com/2013/04/06/china-north-korea-dossier-no-4-liu-hongcai/

4th in series, nick miller super inside baseball on liu hongcai, chinese ambassador to north korea.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/13/world/asia/in-seoul-kerry-warns-north-korea-against-missile-test.html

the prc leadership has no interest in conflict on the korean peninsula and they probably still have the greatest influence on north korea's internal politics-- not a huge amount of influence, either. but i don't think china can/will push north korea to denuclearize, especially under american pressure.

and:

A working assumption, however, is that Mr. Kim’s bellicose statements are intended to shore up his power at home and assure the North Korean military that it will retain the first claim on resources — what policy analysts call the “military first” policy.

But that raises the question of how susceptible a North Korean leader who is preoccupied with building up his authority at home might be to outside pressure, let alone the disarmament agenda urged by the United States and its allies.

so, avoiding this constant cycle of confrontation and appeasement is impossible under the leadership of the workers' party of korea.

stepping up sanctions and locking down north korea won't work, even if somehow china came on board. economic engagement has been slightly successful but it's been used as a source of hard currency and legitimization by the north korean leadership. military invasion by anyone + regime change isn't really an option. north korea has withstood horrible famine (and currently malnutrition and people very likely still starving to death), the breakdown of its local authority, and the flow of information/people across a more porous border with china. so, i dunno.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/13/opinion/bomb-north-korea-before-its-too-late.html

I have no idea if we're going to war in NK, but if we do, how many days/weeks away do you think we are?

That would be silly. This is all very silly.

Will probably gin up bipartisan support for reversing spending cuts for defense though.

right, the united states isn't going to war with north korea.

i think the only slight possibility, in the event of things heating up to an insane heretofore unseen totally fucking nuts degree on the korean peninsula and there being serious talk of american military involvement would be china moving in to subdue north korea, with the stated goal of securing the border (if north korea was severely destabilized, there would be a serious problem on the china-north korean border). china isn't in a position to change the leadership of north korea for fear of calling into question its own legitimacy and its historical alliance with north korea, as well as stirring up the anti-chinese sentiment that exists in north korea (according to what we've seen of the historical relationship between the two states in pre-modern times + north korean propaganda). there would be a leadership change in the korean workers party, the new leadership being hand selected by china's ministry of foreign affairs + blessed by korean old guard leadership + backed by the pla. something like that.

china isn't in a position to change the leadership of north korea

they'd have to, as i said, make a leadership change. but it would have to be within the korean workers party.

i'm sure they've indentified elements within the party that could be used for this + at the same time would be interested in economic reforms which would be cool for the north korean elite, the chinese elite and the people starving or relying on food aid from china.

Do North Korea have the capability of blowing Kerry out the sky?

not too sure, buddy

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2013/04/17/once_upon_a_time_in_pyongyang

All I know is Pyongyang are probably furious about the Boston Marathon bombings

Pay attention to me! Me, me, me!!!!!!

"Dear North Korea, We have a lot of other shit going on right now. Come back for coddling later, you dicks. XOXO, Barack."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWGciuLuH8k

but i'm not convinced that american media coverage is something anyone in the korean leadership is losing sleep over.

how is the united states coddling north korea? i think the united states would do just about anything to avoid involvement in even a minor conflict in east asia.

but i'm not convinced that american media coverage is something anyone in the korean leadership is losing sleep over.

It's their leverage to keep the issue on the table. If we're commiserating about the Boston victims (or West, Texas) and won't pay attention, their gambit loses traction.

so obvs the leadership of NK is deeply pathological, but is it possible they are deeply cynical as well?

i mean, that would be our best hope in a way.

i don't see any reason to believe jung un is a particularly sophisticated operator

yeah but we have no idea who is really making the decisions, and a lot of their decisions seem deeply cynical and opportunistic, and my hope is that this is what will prevent them from going full retard

I bet he and his aunt and her husband are simply livid that the only people talking to them right now are the PRC and their gambit of impressing the rest of the regime with their savvy has turned into a complete dud.

very few people in the rest of the world cares about a pressure cooker bomb blowing an 8 year old kid into several pieces in boston.

the north korean story wasn't really front page news in the united states. there was a lot of skepticism about the importance of the story.

the fact that an 8 year old got blown to pieces doesn't result in american military planners and diplomats and other people watching the north korean situation abandoning their posts to sit around monitoring cnn for updates.

backstage diplomatic moves brought jimmy carter and bill clinton to north korea, rather than nk getting heavy rotation on 24 hour news channels.

i think nk's internal political situation is more complex than team america led you to believe.

Puppet regime, iirc.

http://www.jpost.com/International/UN-North-Korean-supreme-leader-guilty-of-atrocities-strikingly-similar-to-Nazis-341674

yeah so intense

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-26252563

One of those selected for the reunions was South Korean Lee Du-young, who is in his late 70s.

"It's hard for people to understand what it's like when you've been separated so long," he told the BBC before he left for the North.

"But it's a true miracle; I'm so elated. All that was missing in my life was my brother, and now that I can see him again, I'd have no regrets whatsoever if I were to die tomorrow."

He said that as well as warm clothing, he would buy his brother chocolate biscuits because he heard they were sought-after treats in North Korea.

the other day i saw a short documentary that surprised me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JRtFyLiOnE
a NK university which exposes students to western ideas and ideology.

well "surprised" ... they are a mass of contradiction allright, i knew the kids from their elite was studying abroad but they are usually so intense about their propaganda that to have such an institution within their borders is yet another odd thing. i assume most of their population don't know about it so it doesn't clash with the official message of their government... makes me wonder, do they really believe their dictator's propaganda ? heard of some expats in SK who made a point of believing it since it gave meaning to their lives, their identity...

what does it mean to say you believe in something you've been coerced into believing?

i would like to think that all NK citizen will be happy to be free when the dictatorship falls but after watching that Repatriation documentary i think it may take a couple of generations before things return to normal: a lot of adults, especially older ppl, probably won't be able to let go of their faith in the ideology that organized their lives.