Is it a sign of maturity to be able to deal with people you find completely obnoxious?

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Does getting old mean the loss of personal preference? (in the dramatic heartfelt sense) (cos everything must be tolerated) (everything must fit.) (be generous!) (please let this remain on unanswered questions.)

― youn, Friday, 11 February 2005 11:20 (twenty-one years ago)

You suddenly realise that there are more idiots than non-idiots, but you have to get by...

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 11 February 2005 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll feel a little more mature when I don't have that constant "fuckofffuckofffuckoffdiediedie" going through my head while I'm being nice to someone I don't like.

― Un investigador del siglo XXI (AaronHz), Friday, 11 February 2005 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought this would be a C-Man thread.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 11 February 2005 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it more mature to reply to his threads or not reply to them?

― Un investigador del siglo XXI (AaronHz), Friday, 11 February 2005 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

That surely depends on what you say in reply

― caitlin (caitlin), Friday, 11 February 2005 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

as far as work goes, i have a very limited ability to deal with people of this type without my hostility or annoyance making itself manifest--- and i DO think this one sign of my immaturity. though perhaps there are positive aspects to that immaturity as well.

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 11 February 2005 12:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Why is it that Age makes some people naturally more tolerant, and some people naturally more intolerant? I suppose it's the question of "I've seen this sh*t before, it will pass" vs. "I'm too OLD to have to put up with this!"

― Kate Kept Me Alive! (kate), Friday, 11 February 2005 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I think it's a standard distribution graph plotline.

I'd post one, but I've never found one when looking at Google images, yet.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 11 February 2005 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.itl.nist.gov/div898/handbook/eda/section3/gif/norpdf.gif
Actually, here we go. C is the age of 38. After that, it's downhill.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 11 February 2005 12:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I am not good at this. If it's an infrequent interaction I can grit my teeth and just about manage it, but if it's someone I have to deal with regularly I simply cannot disguise my loathing. e.g my previous boss. I eventually told him to f-off in a meeting - I just blurted it out.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Friday, 11 February 2005 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

"the older you get, the more you know what you want,
the less you let things bother you".

i think that's the quote.
amen to that.

― piscesboy, Friday, 11 February 2005 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll feel a little more mature when I don't have that constant "fuckofffuckofffuckoffdiediedie" going through my head while I'm being nice to someone I don't like.

OTFM.

― cis (cis), Friday, 11 February 2005 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

No, I don't think Maturity is not having that, but rather being mature enough to not make QUIET PART LOUD and say it out loud.

― Kate Kept Me Alive! (kate), Friday, 11 February 2005 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Double and triple negatives, oh yes!

― Kate Kept Me Alive! (kate), Friday, 11 February 2005 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, I haven't told anyone to fuck off and die for at least 3 years now...

― Un investigador del siglo XXI (AaronHz), Friday, 11 February 2005 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Typing it doesn't count...

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 11 February 2005 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

It really depends on what sort of annoying the person is, and how often I interact with them. There are some kinds of annoying people where it's fairly easy to ignore the annoying qualities and deal with them, while others are so obnoxious it makes it difficult to do so. I get impatient with the really obnoxious ones pretty quickly, it's a bad character flaw of mine.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Friday, 11 February 2005 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Fools...they're not for suffering gladly anymore. Ever.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 11 February 2005 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"...as far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons, speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others even the dull and ignorant, they too have their story, avoid loud and aggressive persons they are a vexation to the spirit"

er, yeah, so it's best to treat them with equanimity but avoid them if you can.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

10 bonus points if you know the source of my quote.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:14 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a tit for tat situation. I accept that, if left to my own devices, I may be incredibly annoying to others, so I treat everyone with great delicacy and as much grace as I can muster. One can tell when I hold somebody in great contempt by the sweetness of my demeanor and my deployment of the strictest punctilio.

jel, bonus points, in my jargon, is a euphemism for nipples.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't have 10 nipples!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I figured you'd reneg on that offer.

Anyway, I believe your quote is from a 'Desiderata' found in St. Paul's Church in Baltimore.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Mature people never get upset or annoyed??? Does that sound even remotely feasible?

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:28 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a tit for tat situation.

Looking back at my post, I am put in mind of some stripjoint/tattoo parlor.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a sign you're on a lot of valium, more than it is a sign you are mature.

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Depends what you mean by "deal with", it's pretty easy to avoid obnoxious people really - Professionally, I dunno...I guess sometimes you're stuck with people you find obnoxious...not experienced this myself.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I avoid vexatious people but, when forced to interact with them, I accord them the same respect I expect to receive from others. Politeness does not mean that one doesn't say what one means, it means one does so as consciously, as clearly, and as kindly as possible.

Winston Churchill ended the British declaration of war on the Empire of Japan with this diplomatic salutation to the Japanese Ambassador, "Your Excellency, In view of recent events in the Far East, it is with deep regret that I must inform you that a state of war now exists... I beg to remain, Sir, with consideration, your most humble, most obedient servant, Winston S. Churchill." There were complaints about this in the House of Commons, to which Churchill responded: "When you are setting out to kill someone, it doesn't do any harm to be polite."

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I like that.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish all the Churchill adoring neo-cons in the administration had an ounce of the humor and class he had.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't believe that story

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Look it up, Amateurist.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

you and your "books"

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

There are a couple of non-customers (by which I mean: "people who drool over things they can't possibly afford, ask a million technical questions that have no real-world application, and naturally never buy anything") who come into my day job who are COMPLETELY impervious to vocal tone and body language. I've gotten really good at helping these people without actually helping them - babysitting their inane, belligerent questions with non-commital responses. Eventually they get frustrated and leave... but they always come back.

― Tantrum (Tantrum The Cat), Friday, 11 February 2005 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.replicgun.com/Tazer40.jpg

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 11 February 2005 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

ally otm. modern medicine is a miraculous thing.

― stockholm cindy's secret childhood (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 11 February 2005 19:23 (twenty-one years ago)

A chunk of wisdom I've picked up over the years is that you basically cannot change how other people behave. But you can change your reaction to it. Cliched I know, and extremely difficult, but I do think it's true. Just let things go, and allow "karma" to take care of it.

I've been in this situation before at work, and decided to be thoroughly civil and pleasant towards someone I hated. Not for their benefit, but more for the ennoblement of myself. To make someone negative, you must make yourself positive if that makes sense.

Eventually, this person became steadily less obnoxious to me, but I could still her acting like her old self towards others. In fact, she was practically falling over herself to be nice and ingratiating in the end, and in every interaction I laughed inwardly thinking, "You stupid fucker." Does that make me mature or just passive-aggressive?

I must admit though that when you meet someone who is a total arsehole, there's nothing more satisfying than just saying: "Fuck off and die, you leperous cunt."

― Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Friday, 11 February 2005 20:01 (twenty-one years ago)

OTM

Does that make me mature or just passive-aggressive?

One has to learn to choose one's battles.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 11 February 2005 20:05 (twenty-one years ago)

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