Teachers you still hate to this day

Trying to think of anyone I actively hated. Probably a gym coach or two but once I stopped having to do P.E. after tenth grade that was less of a worry.

I read that in the voice of Gayle Gordon, and also in the voice of Lucille Ball. I'm not sure which way is funnier to me.

Presented her with some story about cats, littered with spelling mistakes, but cut me some slack I was eight...

"Well Anna, Mrs Smith told me you were very bright, but frankly I think you're a bit of a drip."

I was eight! In a class with the school year above me! And no explanation of how I was wrong. I was just wrong. and stupid.

I hope the fucking bint self-googles.

* Tenth grade. Music class again - a different teacher this time, one who actually tried to tell me that rock'n'roll had no backbeat. "There's no accent on the two and four, what are you talking about?" I didn't take her seriously for the rest of the year.

I find music teachers in general to be insufferable twats.

(1) Told me I had no ability in English, and wrote poorly. (I'm working toward my PhD in English, I support myself as an occasional writer).

(2) Sent me to the office for 'passing commentary' on a televised reworking of Oedipus Rex. Note: 'passing commentary' involved saying "Hot!" when Oedipus's mom came onscreen... ONCE.

(3) After I got in a fight w. Jared W4ss3rm4an, Tom Andrew rolled his eyes and chuckled to himself.

(4) Was so - so - so - odious - Jon Williams and I (with our friends) used to do impressions of him, gradually remonikering him from TA to TB to Total Bastard to The Bastard. We'd do impressions of him with an index finger curled over our lip to imitate his neatly-trimmed, sand-colored mustache. IIRC correctly, he shaved oddly, and looked a little like a more-caucasian Hitler.

FUCK TOM ANDREW!

We'd do impressions of him with an index finger curled over our lip to imitate his neatly-trimmed, sand-colored mustache.
CLASSIC!

Mr Brown, simpleton design technology teacher who one can only assume is currently having hardened criminals slash away at his face with broken iron bars thanks to his "comfortable" manner amongst 13 year old schoolgirls. Used to think you couldn't be listening if you were holding a pen.

Later that year, he insisted I had to attend private tuition sessions with him to make up for classes I'd missed while on a 3 month student exchange. No *way* was I going to spend time alone with him, so I went straight to the guidance office. Luckily for me, they either knew of his dubious reputation or didn't think it sounded on, and I was exempted by the principal himself.

He's probably dead now.

http://www.fun-shop.com/images/14wigs/212470.jpg http://www.fun-shop.com/images/14wigs/212470.jpg http://www.fun-shop.com/images/14wigs/212470.jpg http://www.fun-shop.com/images/14wigs/212470.jpg http://www.fun-shop.com/images/14wigs/212470.jpg http://www.fun-shop.com/images/14wigs/212470.jpg http://www.fun-shop.com/images/14wigs/212470.jpg http://www.fun-shop.com/images/14wigs/212470.jpg

Anyway I protested and wouldn't sit down and he was trying to empty the rest of the exam hall, he freaked out and asked if I wanted to talk to the headmaster, and was quite surprised when I said yes I did, I wanted to complain to him about one of his staff.

The discussion went on for hours, with the headmaster, and I refused to apologise for saying Mr GERRY DELANEY (Hi you wizened deflated old cunt) had such an obvious distaste for young people that he shouldn't be a teacher.

Eventually when it transpired I had stayed longer than the allotted detention time arguing, they let me go. The headmaster came up to me the next day with a "sometimes the teacher is not always right, but misunderstandings occur and nobody wanted to cast aspersions on your character" etc etc.

So I guess I won as such but god that guy was a fucking dick. How many teachers are there out there who just point blank shouldn't be doing the job?

I guess all this is provokation but anyway one day he left the room to get something from the staff room and he'd left loads of figures on the board, like marking schemes. It was 15, then 17, then 19, one below the other adding up to 51 and then next to it a few different numbers then a few others next to that and a total again.

So I got up from my desk at the front and changed all the numbers which were being added to different ones. Anyway he came back in and the whole class is practically convulsing with laughter already and he thinks someone is doing something or there's some joke and cos he wants to be one of the boys he's pretending to laugh along.

So eventually he gets back to work and he starts adding them up and he's like, "so your total is 51, that's 13 plus 25 plus 32, erm...................hang on........" and the longest fucking silence ensued. He was just stuck staring at the board and I reckon everyone in the room has never laughed so hard in their lives and he's still like "what's so funny, shut up guys I'm trying to work this out".

-- Ronan--January 18th, 2003.

Seriously, though, if there was a thread about what other students we hated in high school, I could go the fuck off.

I think she also made me use one of those fucking stupid plastic slide-on triangles to "correct" the way I held my pencil - I'm right-handed, but I hold the thing like a leftie, and my penmanship is spot-on gorgeous (when I want it to), but I guess form trumps function, you crotchety arthritic bag of piss. (This might've been in a different elementary grade, though, so I'll just offer a fuck y'all to Grades 1 through 6 and be done w/ it.)

OH GOD LET'S NOT GO TO STUDENTS - mine would be a litany of Nerd Revenge type shit (except w/out the revenge).

Classmates you still hate to this day

My other German teacher Mr. Cunn1ngh@m was a bit of a prick too but now I think he was cool. D00d defected into East Germany

I received A's in every class I ever took in high school until this f*ckhead became too ill to teach and had a student teach the class. Nobody paid attention as she was a joke. He had the nerve to give me a D, cost me being valedictorian and almost caused me to not graduate. I was allowed to graduate with the class not counting.

He died within a few months of the episode. I would have been happier about his passing, but frankly I was just mystified and hurt by the whole experience and really wanted to ask him why he did it and why he chose to pick on me. Perhaps he was bitter from his impending death or had some misguided desire to leave me with a "lesson". I guess I'll never know.

My high school biology teacher was almost as bad, though. She had the idea (maybe rightly so) that students weren't really learning as much as they were completing assignments. To rectify this, she just stopped giving us crucial details and made instructions for labs more vague. You see, students will seek out the information and somehow apply it, even when it's not in the textbook and the teacher answers all questions by smiling and laughing. She also sent more people to the principal's office during high school than any other teacher.

This man was just an incomprehensible douchebag and I left his class ten minutes in, every single day, without fail, if I even showed up. I got an A in the course, because he WAS A TOTAL DOUCHEBAG who like gave extra credit to anyone who liberally referenced shamanism (you didn't have to be correct, or even explain what shamanism is).

And this woman who is quoted first in this article is the biggest bitch I have ever had to deal with in my life. She tried to get me failed out of the journalism department, fired one of my favorite teachers, and basically destroyed our newspaper. She lost her job as advisor and was remade into "spokesperson" for the college (her husband is the dean so you can't just fire the stupid cunt) after causing a huge problem during a sexual harrassment situation--she was hiding things to protect the dude involved, who was guilty as hell. She never wore a bra, though she should've, and thought of herself as being very, very, very sexy, and had no problem saying this, in class, regularly. Despite the fact that this wasn't even true. And that if it was true, there'd be no need to say it.

(the man quoted in the above article, OTOH, is an awesome teacher who I liked a lot and in a really weird twist of fate, was the manager of the store where my parents met, back in the 70s. How the world brings people back together etc etc)

The headmaster at the time, Paul Sheahan, deserves some derision as on multiple occasions when I wished to see him to complain about the aforementioned incidents, he was out playing golf! During school hours! The guy just didn't give a fuck.

Mr McCole was a terrible English teacher that I had in year 11 (and also the school vice-principal, I think). He'd been there for 50 years or something, having attended the school, gotten his Dip. Ed. and went on to teach there. I imagine that it was because of the hugely limited scope of his life experience that he was such an ignorant buffoon. He once took an amazingly formulaic and mediocre essay I wrote and read it out to the class as an example of the "perfect essay". He then started to give me C's for writing of a similar standard, because he thought I could do better. (How's that for mixed messages?) He also once insisted that "sarcasm is the most biting, clever form of witticism". Honestly. He didn't even know what it meant at all. He just thought "sarcasm" meant "really witty". He was completely unable to handle criticism of any kind, and I just couldn't stop correcting his ridiculous mistakes, so he pretty much despised me by the end of the year (which I was perfectly fine with).

Mr Richards was a maths teacher of mine, also in year 11. It was an accellerated class, we were doing year 12 coursework, so the class was full of maths nerds. Because I did not appear to be a nerd, this teacher would constantly pick on me as if I was the stupidest person in the room. When he'd filled up a whiteboard with stuff, he'd say "have you got all this Andrew?" and when I said "yes of course" he'd say "oh good well we can all move along then!" He did this routinely for about half a semester, when I finally exploded and yelled at him "Would you stop doing that please!? It makes it pretty fucking difficult for me to learn with you constantly insinuating that I'm some sort of idiot." He completely backed off and shrunk away after that, which was nice of him, but he still continued to believe he was hilarious.

...and to her I say, Fuck you, Bitch!

That teacher's now the headmaster of another local school, which was in the news a year or so ago when one of its students stabbed another to death in a school corridor.

I did have plenty of teachers who were just idiots, but not vindictive idiots. Prime example: the French teacher who said "Did anyone watch that TV programme about the Channel Tunnel last night?" (this was the early 90s, when it was being built) "I was amazed that they were digging through the rock! I thought it would have been much easier to dig through the water instead." When we had German exchange students over, she got the chance to use her one phrase of German: "Sprechen Sie Franzoesich?" and was completely baffled and out-of-her-depth when they answered with "Ein bischen" ('a little').

Another good example of idiotry was the Home Economics teacher who insisted to me that dandruff is purely caused by people not washing shampoo out of their hair properly. As I've always been a chronic psoriasis sufferer, I wasn't very amused.

It's not that I didn't have any rubbish teachers (I certainly did, though in general they were outweighed by the good effects of the good one) but that it was all just so long ago that I don't really remember it.

It's weird because I carry lots of grudges in my life for a long time. But a grudge against a teacher just seems so pointless. Out of my life a long time ago, and never looked back.

I guess that's the good thing about going to 14 schools in 12 years. I just viewed bad teachers as something very transitory.

everyone involved in my suspension from high school, 1992: for a fanzine with illicit jokes inside. we did it in resonse to the official sixth form magazine, which included a bunch of racist jokes. i wrote the poems. we all got suspended. it was all very corrupt. the headmaster said, in a record that went on my permanent record, that if the police had seen the fanzine we would have been arrested for indecency. my cousin, a policeman, then sent a reply, also on my permanent record, that this was codswallop, and the police would probably chide the headmaster for wasting their time. i am writing a short story on this whole incident at the moment.

I definitely want to continue studying education and how it can be fixed over here. But that's proven impossible for me to do while I'm in the foxhole so to speak.

off period. heaven. off to enter grades now, made easy by the large number of my students who fail.

a) asking each individual class member what we prayed about. Was finally shut down by a girl who said "Don't you think that's awfully personal?"

b) spending a whole class explaining that an act of charity performed by a Christian was better than that of a non-Christian, "because God is involved".

c) telling me that "I don't have one" was "not an erudite response" to the question "What is your favorite Bible story?"

It was a Catholic high school, so I guess this stuff was par for the course, but I had just parachuted in from another town and really wasn't used to this kind of thing.

J0hns0n - English teacher, wore lemon and pink Pringle tops and had one of those fucking horrible moustaches Jeremy posted. Gave me 51% in a prelim (mock) exam and told me I was wasting his time and mine in his class as I was going backwards and destined to fail. I got an A: so get it right up you you arsehole. INTROSPECTION AND PROCRASTINATION, INTROSPECTION AND PROCRASTINATION, INTROSPECTION AND PROCRASTINATION, INTROSPECTION AND PROCRASTINATION, INTROSPECTION AND PROCRASTINATION. So you read the Bluffers Guide To Hamlet you cnut now WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DO YOU KNOW?

Oh, and I'm old enough to have been belted at school, up until I was 12, so add on all the wankers who belted me for next to nothing and took sadistic pleasure in it.

Hell up until last year kids got whooped here with big wooden paddles on a regular basis.

Was suspended without pay for showing the Nicholas Berg beheading video in his class.

If anyone ever slipped up and called her "Mrs. Clarke", she would scream: "Mrs. Clarke was my mother - and she's dead!" We were 12 and 13 year-old kids. I was a bit of a smart-ass in her class, and made a point of letting her know how easy I thought everything was, but one day she kept me after class, closed the door and really let go. She said several things that an adult "professional" should never say to a child. Her dislike for me was deeply personal. She later tried to screw me over on a major project because I missed a presentation in her class one day. The V.P. overruled her however, since I was away at a school sanctioned debating competition. That didn't make her happy at all, and just made things tougher for me in her class. She was a really sad, and bitter woman (bad divorce), and I learned from other teachers that she wasn't very popular in the staffroom either.

2) Elementary school Vice Principal - Mr. Mapstone

If teachers had still been allowed to hit students, he would have been the guy beating the shit out of kids, with a hard-on. 20 years after the fact, I have yet to come across another "adult", who enjoyed scaring little children as much as this fuckwit did. To make matters worse, he was missing parts of 2 fingers on one hand, and would make a point of rapping them on his desk whenever you were sent down to his office. Another favourite trick of his was to slam down a big binder on his desk and tell you that it contained your "permanent record", and that basically you had no chance of getting into a good high school, university, and really no chance at a decent future at all, because you rubbed snow in some kid's face.

Mrs Sherman...math teacher junior year in high school. Fucking woman never left the 70's, feathered haircut, god awful outfits. Looked like a stank ass porno star. fucking bitch.
-- Big Baby Bingo (cmvenuti200...) (webmail), February 16th, 2005 8:12 AM. (Chris V)

1. High school math teacher who, when asked about the reasoning behind some formula in calculus, said "I don't know, I never really wondered." It was a moment of epiphany: so that's why I always hated math in high school.

2. English teacher who one day sent all the males out of the classroom in order to tell the girls that her husband told her when they married not to wear revealing clothes because "it's distracting to guys, they just can't help themselves, we have to help them by not tempting them." Also considered Jesus Christ Superstar heretical, because "it says NOWHERE in the Bible that Jesus had an affair with Mary Magdelene!" Actually it says it nowhere in the script either, which I think is catchy and theologically insightful :P

I had to delete #3 after I realized that I gave him as much of a hard time as he gave me, and then he quit teaching, so the nice thing to do would not be to tear him apart on a messageboard.

We had a Secret Santa-type gift exchange thing throughout the year. I busted my ass trying to find the most fun and cool stuff I could. For the final exchange I went all out and spent days making a funny and very elaborate fake biographical scrapbook for the kid whose name I had. I put my heart into it and ending up loving it so much that it was hard to give it away. I did, though, and when I gave him the present, Mrs. Williams chewed me out in front of the entire class for not spending any money. My Secret Santa- who turned out to be one of the popular girls- got me a pair of tickets to an amusement park, which would have been nice except she made a point of announcing, in front of everyone, that she had gotten them for free. Mrs. Williams fussed about what a wonderful present that was, and how I should feel lucky.

The entire year was like that...

Seriously, though, if there was a thread about what other students we hated in high school, I could go the fuck off.

-- Riot Gear! (speed.to.roa...), February 16th, 2005.

otm

She never lectured to us on the subject she was supposed to be teaching. Instead, she blathered on about how "people without religion really can't have morals" and "I'm not voting for John Kerry because his wife is a real bitch" and "okay guys today I'm going to talk to you about men who prostitute their one-year-old children because it's a really important issue that you guys have to know about" blah blah blah. She also made cruel cracks about students, trying to be "funny" but really just being a bitch.

This past summer she hosted a backpacking trip across Europe, and a couple of my friends went along (I didn't because I don't feel safe being on the same continent as her). Apparently there was a mix-up where their tour guide had told the students to meet back at a specific location, and the teacher expected them to be somewhere else. So she blew up at all her students for "not meeting back at the bus," then blew up at the tour guide for "challenging her ultimate authority," and fined all the students who were "late" 20 Euros. When they got to the hotel one of my friends started arguing with her (after the other students had gone inside), so she started making fun of his girlfriend (calling her "skanky") and his mom (for crying at the airport). My friend got mad and called her a stupid motherfucker. She slapped him hard across the face and slammed him against the wall with her hands around his neck and started yelling at him, then called his mom to tell her what her son had said (not explaining what provoked him). Later, one of his female friends cried when she found out what happened. The teacher stormed into her room and yelled at her for crying, then called her a "spineless bitch" for not fighting back.

There's more to the story (a bunch of students got stranded without a hotel room in an expensive urban area of Spain) but I don't feel like writing more. The point is, the students reported her to the administration and she resigned. What a bitch.

But someone already did!

I do remember in primary school getting a report from a teacher who I adored that said I talked too much and disrupted the other students, because I was too far ahead of them (not genius level or anything, but I was pretty good at some things), and so I should be sent to a school that had a more disciplined outlook, where I might learn to keep quiet. Excellent reasoning, bucko.

My best teacher, though, was the maths teacher we had up to our inter cert (age 12-15). We finished the maths curriculum one year with about four weeks to spare, so she decided we would enter a competition to complete an environmental project for our school. She suggested we should learn about bees and build a bee garden in the grounds of the school. It was an incredibly smart idea - a single large project that could be worked on by academic types and non-academic types with exactly the same levels of satisfaction. And I got to go on a week-long bee-keeping course, and we won a prize. Sadly we were never allowed to actually build a hive in the school grounds, but it was always nice to see the plants there.

She resigned? Why didn't she get fired?

We had a substitute teacher once who got so annoyed when all the kids just got up to leave when the bell rang (all that "I dismiss the class! The bell does not dismiss the class!" rubbish) that she locked them in to the classroom for the whole of their twenty minute break. One of the kids told her dad, who was the head of the local fire department. He arrived down to the school next day, in the fire engine, in full uniform, and gave this teacher a lecture in front of all her colleagues in the staff room.

My god, it's like Todd Flanders all grown up.

I don't know what this means.

Hmm...I admit I'd be entertained if you could provide a news link anywhere (if there is one). But I understand if you'd prefer not to.

the only upside to this was that my family was so infuriated about how my teacher had behaved that for the entire rest of my school career whenever i got bad grades or got in trouble their instant response was "what the hell is wrong with those teachers?"

there are pictures of some of them on the school website, i see. i'm not hotlinking directly, for obvious reasons, but i might nab a couple and post them up here soon. heh.

-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), August 27th, 2006 1:14 PM. (Ned) (link)

I'm pretty sure there's not one. I got my story straight from the source (i.e. hearsay).

But someone already did!

No, that's classmates you hate. I mean students as in little fuckers I taught.

Guidance/career counselors are the ones that earned the hate, frankly.

corrupt? how?

He was also completely unqualified to be teaching that class. Half the people didn't even bother to take the test because they felt underprepared and didn't want to spend the money/time. I got a 5 on the final exam despite his best efforts. And I got no congratulations from the man for this.

A couple years later, long after graduation, I ran into him randomly. I was wearing an army surplus jacket I had picked up in my pursuit of looking like a miscreant. He asked me if I had joined the army. When I said "no" he remarked that I should have, because I needed to straighten out my life.

I hope to run into him again someday, so I can use some of the choice quips I've come up with since, including "how's your hair loss going?" and "still just an underqualified English teacher, eh?" The man couldn't write his way out of a paper bag.

Kindergarten: I peed my pants on the first day of class because she wouldn't let us leave our seats. She then called my parents and told them I was trying to get attention by doing this! My parents, being idiots, punished me for it.

My fourth grade teacher was so BORING I pulled my baby teeth out for an excuse to leave class for a little while. Refused to let me even take the test to enter the gifted/talented program so I could escape her.

Sixth grade math teacher: used to step on kids' toes with his fucking cowboy boot heel if we put our feet out from under the desk. Was also a belligerent asshole.

Seventh grade reading teacher: a class I didn't need to be in anyway, I'd read fucking Wuthering Heights in fourth grade & was a pretty advanced reader. But I was really into books of trivia/Mysteries of the Unexplained/horror stories collections at the time and brought those to read in class. Mrs. Heier told me to read "longer stuff with actual content," so I brought in novels, etc. She signed my yearbook with "I am glad I could introduce you to the world of chapter books." Fuck her for even thinking she had any influence in that, stupid bitch.

Tenth-grade health teacher: I got this bitch fired for reasons too painful to discuss here. But I will say she passed urban legends of as fact all the time, which pissed me off to no end. When I brought in materials to disprove her, our vicious cycle started.

Eleventh grade economics teacher: We learned no economics from this Ken-doll/Wham-looking football coach, except the one day we played "communist Monopoly" wherein we didn't even play the game, we just divided all the money evenly & quit, WTF. What we did in the class, is he'd put an inane motivational football coach Anthony Robbins-style quote on the board and ask us to write journal responses back. He hated mine until I just wrote other inspirational quotes as responses, which really impressed him.

So, my math teacher - Ms. Zambetti/Mrs. Martin refused to let me take pre-algebra the following year, despite a score on the placement test of 47/50, b/c she didn't think I was mature enough to handle the class. This put me behind in math, leaving bored and subjected to sub-par instruction and classmates.

It sounds like I'm being a bit snobbish here, but the bitch seriously put up a huge mental block for me w/r/t math.

Other than her, there are your normal bitter/stressed/under-qualified teachers to speak of. All of the pain I may have caused them had penance paid for it when I taught for two years. I feel not one iota of guilt for anything I did in a classroom anymore.

I will say, however, that I can point to Ms. Coombs, the music teacher in my middle school, for making the biggest single-handed mistake in my education: I was not allowed to participate in choir in fifth grade and was left with the impression that I simply couldn't sing. And I didn't for years and years, and the whole time silently resented those around me who were able to have this fun that wasn't permitted me. (And, to tell the truth, I still don't sing, really.)