When you're in a job interview and someone asks you "what are your three greatest weaknesses", what do you actually say?

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I hate this question. You have approximately ten hours to answer it.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:02 (twenty years ago)

THESE ARE GUARANTEED SAFE ANSWERS: time management ("I like to take on so many projects"), overworking ("I get so immersed in my work I don't know what's going on!"), and chocolate/coffee.

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:04 (twenty years ago)

Also: Perfectionism.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:05 (twenty years ago)

1. I buy a lot of expensive lingerie and shoes.
2. You know, I should stop smoking actually.
3. I'm bipolar, so you know, watch out!

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

You say "they're on my resume, in white" and leave the office.

seriously, fuck an employer who asks that, what are they going to do with that information? Is this AD&D?

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

I'm a workaholic, a perfectionist, and I'm easy.

xposts

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

Employers who still ask this are either dumb, or think they're being clever and are looking for a creative answer.

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:07 (twenty years ago)

EVERYONE asks this.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

"Let me tell you about my father."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

My penis is so large that its gravitational field makes people swoon.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

I think any interviewer would see right through "overworking" as an answer, their bullshit detector would go off and they would probably regard everything else you said in the interview with suspicion.

― La Monte (La Monte), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:08 (twenty years ago)

Also, I am smarter than you will ever be.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:09 (twenty years ago)

(Actually, the quote is 'mother' -- been a while since I've seen the film, clearly.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:09 (twenty years ago)

In all seriousness when we got a new HR jerkass at my last job, she kind of like "reinterviewed" all of us!! And she actually asked questions like this. When she got to "What are your greatest strengths, do you think?" I replied "I have beaten Sonic the Hedgehog 3 times" and left and went back to work. Fucking waste of time. At least two of my coworkers apparently claimed their "greatest weakness" was "continuing to work here".

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:09 (twenty years ago)

I refuse to take direction from people who are obviously as stupid as a bag of fucking sponges. I do not see this as a weakness, but many do.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

Haha I think I've actually said I drink too much coffee!

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

Hahaha, Tombot!

"Very good. Now, at this company it's not all lofty intellectual labours, after all - how would you rate your dexterity stat?"

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

WHORES, FABERGE EGGS AND NIMAN RANCH BEEF

― adam.r.l. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:10 (twenty years ago)

1. Kryptonite.
2. The color yellow.
3. An all consuming rage surrounding my parent's murder. This is also one of my biggest assets though.

I've never heard this question by the way.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:13 (twenty years ago)

1. "See, there's this um, internet messageboard thing, and uh..."

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:14 (twenty years ago)

My final weakness is that I tend to kill interviewers who don't offer me a job based on a completely asinine question like "What are your three greatest weaknesses?"

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:14 (twenty years ago)

I've been asked this question MANY times. I can't believe there are people who have never been asked it. It's stock.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:14 (twenty years ago)

My fourth weakness is my bombastic flatulence.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

I hope the fifth weakness is "your sweetness"!

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:16 (twenty years ago)

I tend to derail stock interviews by telling amusing anecdotes. By the time the interviewer remembers what they were going to ask me, I'm already out the door.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:16 (twenty years ago)

My weakness.

1. I'm prone to addiction. For instance, I drank a half pint of Jim Beam on my way here.

2. I have trouble managing money. Not just mine. Other people's too.

3. I really fucking hate fat people. If any fat people work here, I'm afraid I may say insulting things to them very frequently. It's just the way I am.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:17 (twenty years ago)

"Greatest weakness? Women! Hahahaaa... I'm joking of course".

If you can make one (or all) weakness something in the past, "well, up until recently I would say it would have to have been [x], but I recently rectified this with so-and-so experience/training/what-have-you" thereby turning a 'weakness' into a strength + you're self-aware of yr weak points but determined to problem solve 'em n' shit.
Otherwise just waffle.

― David Merryweather (DavidM), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:18 (twenty years ago)

my achilles heel is doing the same sysiphean task day after day hoping for some sort of eventual pyrrhic victory.

― stockholm cindy's secret childhood (Jody Beth Rosen), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:18 (twenty years ago)

My sixth weakness is my all-consuming quest for "my preciousssssssssss".

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:18 (twenty years ago)

My seventh weakness is my bum knee.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:19 (twenty years ago)

I've never been asked this. What the fuck do they hope to achieve by asking this question anyway? How many people with something to hide would accidentally blurt it out when confronted with this question? It reminds me of the card you have to fill in when you're flying to the States asking if you're going to the USA to commit acts of terrorism or to smuggle narcotics. How many people does that catch out?

― The Horse of Babylon (the pirate king), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:19 (twenty years ago)

I have a cocaine habit the size of Texas.

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:19 (twenty years ago)

Dan's eight weakness is his desire to knee bums.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:19 (twenty years ago)

"My weakness is that I used to be a HR rep and ask dumbass questions like this because I have no original thoughts, and stole this from that "who moved my cheese?" book".

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

1. Bad habit of stealing from my employers while acting as the model employee
2. I usually avoid disclosing this on job interviews
3. Ooops

What the fuck do they hope to achieve by asking this question anyway
To see how much of a bullshitter you are.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

Right. The more the better.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:21 (twenty years ago)

My theory is they just want to judge how prepared for the question you are to see how many jobs you've been interviewing for lately.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:22 (twenty years ago)

"To see how much of a bullshitter you are."

Really this is OTM. I don't think anyone expects honest answers here.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:22 (twenty years ago)

2. I NEVER LEARNED TO READ!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:23 (twenty years ago)

"I'm a really bad employee, have no time management skills, and really have a hard time paying attention to details" :(

"I'm a perfectionist" is the worst answer, ever.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:24 (twenty years ago)

xpost They also do not expect for you to SHOW THEM YOUR BARE ASS.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:24 (twenty years ago)

Seriously, this shit is whats putting me off getting a new job. I constantly held in my anger when, in my last job, people spouted corporate inanities like "paradigm" and "sweat the infrastructure" and "going forward"... and now, reading job ads online, I see this shit EVERYWHERE and it is scaring me. I'd rather starve, I think.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:25 (twenty years ago)

3. I'm just a little horse.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:25 (twenty years ago)

Read an issue of "Fast Company" immediately before any interview. Believe in the New Economy.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:26 (twenty years ago)

1. I "imagineer" (too much, possibly)
2. I never think inside the box
3. I have too many original solutions

― adam.r.l. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

Worst interview question I've ever been asked - "What's your favorite band and why?" For a job waiting tables.

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

I was asked "what three adjective would your best friend use to describe you?"!

― adam.r.l. (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:30 (twenty years ago)

I shift paradigms on a dime. Sometimes I don't even mean to.

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:33 (twenty years ago)

urrrr i answered the "three adjective" variation with "can't be done" (this part was written), later in the live bit this humorless fucking dickbag asked, "um, your answer here doesn't really complete the form, can you try this again?" and i kind of laughed, and he was like "no, really."

― f--gg (gcannon), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:33 (twenty years ago)

I was asked 'what do you think you'll find most challenging about this job?' Again - what do you say to that? "Well the hours are a pain in the arse, and there's too much responsiblity, and I don't really know what I'm doing".

― The Horse of Babylon (the pirate king), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:34 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 5 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I tried the wanky get-out "It's not so much a weakness, but a gap in my experience, which I'm hoping to fill with this job.."

― The Horse of Babylon (the pirate king), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:43 (twenty years ago)

luckily my boss wasn't dumb enough to ask me what my greatest weaknesses are... or... um, maybe she wasn't smart enough.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:44 (twenty years ago)

a few weeks ago i read a listing for a position at a medical journal -- they were looking for someone with a "killer" resume. hang ten, dude! multiple sclerosis is a bummer! let's WIPE IT OUT!

― stockholm cindy's secret childhood (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 17 February 2005 00:00 (twenty years ago)

Sadly, my resume is merely gnarly.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Thursday, 17 February 2005 00:02 (twenty years ago)

Globalisation. Streamlining.

― andy --, Thursday, 17 February 2005 00:08 (twenty years ago)

1. I have no weaknesses
2. Though I do have a huge ego
3. And a superiority complex

― zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Thursday, 17 February 2005 00:16 (twenty years ago)

1. My right knee.
2. My left knee.
3. My abdominal muscles.

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Thursday, 17 February 2005 00:55 (twenty years ago)

1. I steal things from work.
2. I'm a spy sent by your competition.
3. I don't actually have a skeleton, just cartilage, with the tensile strength of balsa-wood.

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:04 (twenty years ago)

1. I'd rather make coffee for minimum wage than work for you inane-question-asking asshats?
2. I don't have enough money save to actually tell you what a fuck you are and walk out of this job interview?
3. Fine, I...ummm...sometimes work too hard?

― Augustine (Augustine Bearse), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:05 (twenty years ago)

1. Heroin
2. Embezzlement
3. The only reason I'm skinny--other than the smack--is because I spend my hour and a half lunch break trolling the mall across the street for blowjobs. I don't care from who, really; man, woman, dog, it's all open season. I just need to get my nut off. If I don't score during that time, I "polish the chassis" with white-out and go to town under my desk during interviews like this one.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:11 (twenty years ago)

i always pick a couple of things that i've done professional development courses about in the previous 6 - 12 months, even if i don't really consider them weaknesses, because then you are already armed with the 'it used to be this but i fixed it' response. so variously, that has been: giving oral presentations, report writing, using power point, using access, mediation skills, that sort of thing.

i have been asked this in every interview i've ever had, i can't believe others haven't...

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:13 (twenty years ago)

4. "Four letters: SARS"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:19 (twenty years ago)

1. carlos d
2. interpol
3. herpes

― stockholm cindy's secret world with martin bashir (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:20 (twenty years ago)

Say your handwriting is bad, but you are working on it.

― roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:22 (twenty years ago)

"Really, maybe I spent too much time with my girlfriend, that's all I can think of! Look, here's a photo..."

http://www11.plala.or.jp/cat-and-dog/cats/london/wig.jpg

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:25 (twenty years ago)

wtf gear, where do you find this stuff! haha

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:28 (twenty years ago)

that is so cute i love my kitties

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:33 (twenty years ago)

I once interviewed for a shitty front desk at a hotel position, something absurd like $18,000 a year and the 1st interview was 2 hours long where the dude held up his hands like he was holding an imaginary piece of string and told me to imagine that on his imaginary piece of string on one end there was leadership and on the other end was teamwork. He wanted to know where I fell on that piece of string. I honestly opened my eyes really big and started giggling. I did not make it to the second interview.

― S!monB!rch (Carey), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:34 (twenty years ago)

1. http://www.limitedweb.com/figurines/hummels.gif
2. http://www.off-roadlights.com/Off%20Road%20Hummer.jpg
3. http://www.off-roadlights.com/Off%20Road%20Hummer.jpg

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:43 (twenty years ago)

1. http://www.limitedweb.com/figurines/hummels.gif
2. http://www.off-roadlights.com/Off%20Road%20Hummer.jpg
3. http://www.hollyeats.com/images/Philadelphia/Turkey-Hummus.jpg

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:45 (twenty years ago)

"And if you can figure that out you don't have to pay me for a month."

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:45 (twenty years ago)

Haha actually I preferred the first erroneous one Sourpuss, it was more mentalist.

1. Insane but pretty women
2. TEH INTAWEB
3. Tea

― thee music mole, Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:45 (twenty years ago)

ok i'm definitely saying 'tea' in my next job interview

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:46 (twenty years ago)

then put yr fingers to yr lips and pretend to "toke up," saying "get it? TEA? MARY JANE? THE LOCO WEED?"

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:48 (twenty years ago)

then i'll whip out a rasta beanie whatsit and pop it on as i'm hopping in the lift

― gem (trisk), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:49 (twenty years ago)

And then you can say 'Inna we kingdom!! Seeeen???' And jam the lift because you are Prince Jammy.

― thee music mole, Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:53 (twenty years ago)

Hahahahaha!

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:54 (twenty years ago)

I have been asked this very question only once.. by a... ... U.S. GOVERNMENT CONTRACTED COMPANY.

They even boasted about the stuff they made that kills people, too! (I never heard back from them.. I interviewed with them in December)

― donut debonair (donut), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:59 (twenty years ago)

"i love the smell of napalm in the morning. it's one of my greatest weaknesses, actually."

― stockholm cindy's secret world with martin bashir (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 17 February 2005 02:03 (twenty years ago)

1. I am lazy. 2. I hate working. 3. I'm only here for the money. (Now that I am officially retired I can say these things.)

― pepektheassassin (pepektheassassin), Thursday, 17 February 2005 04:51 (twenty years ago)

Haha, donut, who was it? I think I answered the same questions a couple years back when I was interviewing with ANYONE when I was graduating college just to find a damn job. L0ckh33d-M4rtin had some interesting questions and they make a lot of killer stuff.

― mike h. (mike h.), Thursday, 17 February 2005 05:04 (twenty years ago)

Mike, I actually forget their name.. I even forgot to turn in my "temporary visitor's security badge" on the day of the interview, and I still have it on my cabinet, and I could tell you, but I just don't want to look right now. They're some random corporate complex with a forgettable boring name in the forests of Redmond, WA anyway that's not M1cr0s0ft. (M1cr0s0ft are a far cooler company to work for, generally.)

Anyway, that was probably the worst interview I've had since my last contract ended. I've never felt so awkward and uncomfortable.

― donut debonair (donut), Thursday, 17 February 2005 05:51 (twenty years ago)

I told an interview panel in answer to this that I'm colourblind. They all looked blank and asked me for a better answer. Up to that point I was so proud of myself for having thought of this as an response.

― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 17 February 2005 12:21 (twenty years ago)

blunts, bitches and kryptonite

― g-kit (g-kit), Thursday, 17 February 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

What Is The Weirdest Question You Have Been Ever Asked At A Job Interview?

I got all bent out of shape because I spent the entire train ride up there trying to think of three strengths and then they asked me "what are your FIVE greatest strengths?"

― Kate Kept Me Alive! (kate), Thursday, 17 February 2005 12:36 (twenty years ago)

I was asked "what three adjective would your best friend use to describe you?"!

-- adam.r.l

My friend Tom had this question on an application form for a bar job. So I filled it in: "Speaking as one of Thomas O__'s closest friends..." He got the job.

I usually waffle about gaps in experience, hope to learn here etc, when in truth the real answer is "I am late! Late for everything!"

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 17 February 2005 12:41 (twenty years ago)

what the hell? i swear there was a thread like this eighteen months or so ago. i remember posting something about 'giving an example but making it something that could be classed as positive by some e.g. 'sometimes i can be over-ambitious'

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Thursday, 17 February 2005 12:43 (twenty years ago)

They don't like it when you list lateness, lack of motivation and tendency to make off colour jokes. This could explain my lack of proper job.

― alix (alix), Thursday, 17 February 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

I have this weird ethical thing in interviews where I try not to lie. But actually it's just that I don't think I can lie convincingly. I also think that with this question you have to say something that's not too obviously positive, but only sorta positive in enough ways that it offsets the weaknesses.

So my answer to the weakness question is that my motivation levels are influenced by my surroundings: if i'm in an enthusiastic workplace I work very hard but I'm dependent on that enthusiasm to bolster me and won't work miracles in a sliding workplace.

― Tim Finney (Tim Finney), Thursday, 17 February 2005 13:01 (twenty years ago)

My biggest weakness is that no matter how many times I'm asked what my biggest weakness is, I can't think of an answer that will be honest and revealing yet help me get the job.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 17 February 2005 13:08 (twenty years ago)

I didn't get asked this. I did get asked about books though. We talked about Thomas Pynchon, and then I bent the truth and said that I promoted my own club night.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 17 February 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

i'm too much of a perfectionist

i'm a workaholic

i'm too inclined to shagging my way to success.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 17 February 2005 13:22 (twenty years ago)

1. I tend to get really involved in my work and lose all sense of myself.

2. I demand this kind of excellence and commitment from my coworkers, and can get really disappointed if they let me down.

3. By "disappointed", I mean I tend to kidnap them, keep them tied up in my crawlspace, occasionally torture them, and then kill them and make a suit out of them. Want to see some pictures?

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 17 February 2005 13:30 (twenty years ago)

Should I just stop being so honest in job interviews? I tend to say that my weaknesses are that I get along better with computers than with people. I would have thought this was actually an asset in the kinds of jobs I tend to apply for. Sigh.

― Kate Kept Me Alive! (kate), Thursday, 17 February 2005 13:32 (twenty years ago)

Remember in interviews there are no assets only potential weaknesses.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 17 February 2005 14:06 (twenty years ago)

On the other hand, the people interviewing you are usually gagging to meet someone who can fill the vacancy.

― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 17 February 2005 14:10 (twenty years ago)

Nah they just want someone with the right haircut.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Thursday, 17 February 2005 14:13 (twenty years ago)

The most annoying question is like when they ask, "Can you tell me about a time you made a mistake on the job, and what you did to fix it?" which is like I don't even know where to go with that, I'm a fucking secretary, "This one time I typoed a client's name, so I had to delete the name and retype it in Word."

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Thursday, 17 February 2005 14:32 (twenty years ago)

1. Allergies 2. Uncontrollable urge to stare at men'
s crotches 3. My Period.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 17 February 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

I tend to say that my weaknesses are that I get along better with computers than with people. I would have thought this was actually an asset in the kinds of jobs I tend to apply for.

Ooh. I would really look for a way to say that that makes it sound less like you hate people (that's what I did; I usually say something along the lines of finding it really easy to immerse myself in technical problems to the exclusion of all other things).

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 17 February 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

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