ILE Males! When the last time you activated your testicular bravery?

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The concept was called to attention thanks to Scott Seward's posting of the lyrics to a Sage Francis song over on ILM, which included this:

Gradually...contort my mindframe so no doubts occur/
I activate testicular bravery and I shout to her/

When did you last activate yours? Was it in public? Were you discreet? Is shouting necessary when activating? Do you use any special equipment?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 February 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

Should be 'when WAS the last time' etc. in the thread title but hey.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 February 2005 20:52 (twenty years ago)

and here I was thinking Ned was paying tribute to the Clipse.

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Thursday, 17 February 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

I doubt not their activation talents.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 February 2005 20:56 (twenty years ago)

Ned, this is the best thread you have ever started.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 17 February 2005 20:57 (twenty years ago)

But why the sexism? I think this thread should be open to both ILE Males and Females.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 17 February 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

"Testicular bravery - ACTIVATE!"

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 17 February 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

My grapefruits are so big, I activate my testicular bravery every time I risk sitting down.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Thursday, 17 February 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

Oh that's fair enough, n/a. Women have activated testicular bravery in many ways.

My concept for the activation process went something like:

*snork, snerk*

"FLAME ON!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 February 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.bwf.org/pusod/CallofNature/2000/media/superheros(resaved).jpg

― stockholm cindy's secret world with martin bashir (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:01 (twenty years ago)

let's try that again:

http://southsidecallbox.com/ilx/superheroes.jpg

― stockholm cindy's secret world with martin bashir (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

The other night, when I was walking through my office with the lights turned off after we had rearranged the furniture.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:05 (twenty years ago)

That time when I stopped a burglary by tripping the perp with my testicles, bolo-style.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:10 (twenty years ago)

I'm like Plastic Man, but only in the scrotal region.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:10 (twenty years ago)

Or maybe it was that time when I was in that plane I was in crashed in the ocean and everyone survived by using my testicles as a flotation device and drinking my ball sweat.

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:12 (twenty years ago)

Dude, Sage Francis is such a dumbass, you don't activate testicular bravery, testicular bravery ACTIVATES YOU.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:12 (twenty years ago)

nick do you have aim?

― charleston charge (chaki), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)

I'm not allowed to have AIM! I had it and they removed it off my computer and gave me a lecture and stuff! No acts of scrotal bravado for me!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:16 (twenty years ago)

I bet you guys are having a merry old time on it right now, aren't you? Get one jealous.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:17 (twenty years ago)

That time when I stopped a burglary by tripping the perp with my testicles, bolo-style.
-- n/a (nu...), February 17th, 2005.
I'm like Plastic Man, but only in the scrotal region.

-- n/a (nu...), February 17th, 2005.

Now I'm picturing an NSFW version of Felix the Cat's detachable ears and tails. Does anyone on this bitch know how to perform a lobotomy?

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

Buster Gonad to the rescue!

http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:GpAmooOWlScJ:pages.zoom.co.uk/kerridge/buster_gonad_1.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

I'm a little annoyed that this thread is for men only.

― jill schoelen is the queen of my dreams! (Homosexual II), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:22 (twenty years ago)

:-( *hides shamefacedly*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:22 (twenty years ago)

It's for both men and women... you just need at least 1 testicle.
I don't know if this counts as "bravery" per se, but I tracked down this ol' thread.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:36 (twenty years ago)

Well, Mandee, if you don't have any, go get your own!

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:36 (twenty years ago)

i think mandee's got some balls to post here

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:51 (twenty years ago)

A: Two months ago when I got my vasectomy.

― peepee (peepee), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:56 (twenty years ago)

One wonders if "time to activate testicular bravery" will become an ilx meme.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Thursday, 17 February 2005 22:33 (twenty years ago)

Well not now that you jinxed it!

― n/a (Nick A.), Thursday, 17 February 2005 22:33 (twenty years ago)

Peepee, does that have anything to do with your login name?

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Thursday, 17 February 2005 22:35 (twenty years ago)

when my friend disrespected my wife in september. i grabbed him by the throat.

― Big Baby Bingo (Chris V), Thursday, 17 February 2005 22:51 (twenty years ago)

xpost

Its just a memory now.

― peepee (peepee), Thursday, 17 February 2005 23:00 (twenty years ago)

Is it possible upon activating one's testicular bravery to inadvertantly articulate his beastialic travesty?

― donut debonair (donut), Friday, 18 February 2005 01:56 (twenty years ago)

Depends on the phrasing.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 02:00 (twenty years ago)

ned. seriously. wtf.

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 18 February 2005 04:26 (twenty years ago)

Hey, I don't write the words, I just saw 'em.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:08 (twenty years ago)

Oughta be "gonadular bravery".

Or we just have both testicular and ovarian bravery.

― David A. (Davant), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:46 (twenty years ago)

The last time? I guess it would be the last time I tried to squeeze into my suit and then sat down.

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 07:04 (twenty years ago)

Frayed crotch jeans, Glasgow, January, sub-zero.

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Friday, 18 February 2005 08:32 (twenty years ago)

I only activate my testicular bravery on Fridays.

Hooray, it's Friday!

― holojames (holojames), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

Wooo hooo! *splat*

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:20 (twenty years ago)

Grrrr, of all the contexts to get "Song 2" stuck in your head!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

Well Damon was always a bit of a wanker...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:22 (twenty years ago)

You are not helping.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

Ha hahaa!

"I got me head checked..."

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

Imagining him doing his little spazzo dance and activating his bravery is truly horrifying(ly awesome).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

Me: I untie your hair and let it tumble over your smooth shoulders

You: Mmmm! I caress your neck

Me: I step back, rip off my shirt and ACTIVATE TESTICULAR BRAVERY

You: wtf you freak

― thee music mole, Friday, 18 February 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

ATB, for short

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:30 (twenty years ago)

WTF are your testicles doing under your shirt? Freak!

xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:33 (twenty years ago)

Testes nipping at your nose...

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:33 (twenty years ago)

I will not remove my pants until the testicular bravery is fully activated, obv.

― thee music mole, Friday, 18 February 2005 21:34 (twenty years ago)

You wouldn't want to do that if testicular cowardice were in effect.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:36 (twenty years ago)

"Stop whimpering down there!"

"Uh, Bob, who are you talking to?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:38 (twenty years ago)

Sorry Ned, in that conversation, which one of you is called Bob?

― thee music mole, Friday, 18 February 2005 21:40 (twenty years ago)

MY NUTZ ARE AFEARED

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

One is gondola, the other is bob.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:41 (twenty years ago)

Together they activate and they're VERY brave.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:42 (twenty years ago)

I need to stop clicking on this thread at work.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:43 (twenty years ago)

Men, those of us who do not ATB must necessarily fall on their swords.

― thee music mole, Friday, 18 February 2005 21:43 (twenty years ago)

That is probably the most disgusting thing I've ever posted to ilx.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:44 (twenty years ago)

More like that, please!

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:45 (twenty years ago)

At least it wasn't about Gorilla/man nipple wanking!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:49 (twenty years ago)

No, but imagining G*nd*la B*b involved in that situation while activating his bravery is enough to cause insanity.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:50 (twenty years ago)

GB: "Heh, have I ever told you about Dylan? Oh by the way --"

*ACTIVATES*

KOKO: *chilling monkey screams*

GB: "Oh piss off and listen to Pulp."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:51 (twenty years ago)

Genteman, this is the superhero for our times.

― thee music mole, Friday, 18 February 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

"Screams" or "moans"?
xpost

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:53 (twenty years ago)

No, trust me, screams.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:54 (twenty years ago)

Ya... I'll take your word for it.

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 18 February 2005 21:55 (twenty years ago)

By order of the Supreme Mil. Command of the European Theater: All soldiers who do not ATB of their own accord will be slapped by General Patton, such slapping to continue until they are deemed fit to return to battle. This shall pertain to all ranks, but especially to Privates and below.

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 22:06 (twenty years ago)

General Patton slapping privates. If that doesn't ATB, nothing will.

― thee music mole, Friday, 18 February 2005 22:14 (twenty years ago)

That's how the Seventh Army liberated Sicily.

― Ken L (Ken L), Friday, 18 February 2005 22:34 (twenty years ago)

Fro some reason I initially saw that as 'berated Sicily'.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 18 February 2005 22:38 (twenty years ago)

i really dont understand the question. :-( is it about masturbation?

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Friday, 18 February 2005 22:45 (twenty years ago)

You'll have to ask Sage Francis about his poetic approach to life.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 22:46 (twenty years ago)

It means getting the balls to do something, no?

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 18 February 2005 22:50 (twenty years ago)

i just replaced testicular with clitoric but am even more confused now. heh

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Friday, 18 February 2005 22:52 (twenty years ago)

It means getting the balls to do something, no?

Not in the hands of that clown. If you will.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 22:55 (twenty years ago)

It means getting the balls to do something, no?

To feel the impact of a hit? or of shark's teeth?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 18 February 2005 23:20 (twenty years ago)

I mean...she's no Natalie Portman, and I've been kind of holding out for her/
Naturally...Now my thoughts spin...and she's on the "out" for sure/
Gradually...contort my mindframe so no doubts occur/
I activate testicular bravery and I shout to her/
Our eyes lock.
And time stops.../
She floats over to my spot...
and I say "Hi, I'm not/
trying to hit on you like the way all these other guys jock/
I just wanna' let you know...I'm the type of person who lies a lot/

Sometimes I fart and I pick my nose like a maniac/
I'd be glad to front the cost of a date with you as long as you pay me back/
If we ever reach the friendship level where things like that are shared/
And I know my facial hair is weird...but I've been waiting for someone like you to shave my beard/

I'm not sure if I understand your post, Ned, but it would seem that this poetaster is describing 'girding his loins', as it were, before entering the fray.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 18 February 2005 23:25 (twenty years ago)

And he does so lamely at that.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 18 February 2005 23:25 (twenty years ago)

General Patton: Activate testicular bravery, private!

Private: Sir, I guess I can only do it lamely.

General Patton COWARD! You have the balls of a clown! *slaps privates*.

― thee music mole, Friday, 18 February 2005 23:30 (twenty years ago)

And he does so lamely at that.

Oh. Well, I'm glad to see that we agree on that point.

I can only hear 'balls of a clown' as sung by Smokey Robinson.

― Michael White (Hereward), Friday, 18 February 2005 23:32 (twenty years ago)

"Balled on the 4th of July" could also be a contender. ...For a testicular, um, hit.

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 18 February 2005 23:37 (twenty years ago)

I can only hear 'balls of a clown' as sung by Smokey Robinson.

NSFW NSFW NSFW
http://www.stopclownpornnow.org/
NSFW NSFW NSFW

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 19 February 2005 00:20 (twenty years ago)

I had an eye examination today. The eye doctor put drugs in my eyes and shined painfully bright lights into them, but I did not reveal any secrets or confess.

― RS £aRue (rockist_scientist), Saturday, 19 February 2005 02:01 (twenty years ago)

Actually, I was embarrassed that I was squirming so much and having trouble keeping both eyes open and following instructions.

― RS £aRue (rockist_scientist), Saturday, 19 February 2005 02:19 (twenty years ago)

£aRue, did all that happen before or after you were testicularly activated?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 19 February 2005 11:17 (twenty years ago)

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