100 Least Charismatic Celebrities

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100. Hilary Swank (90% boring, 10% mental)

― Aaron A., Friday, 18 February 2005 06:12 (twenty years ago)

99. natalie portman

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:14 (twenty years ago)

98. Robert DeNiro

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:15 (twenty years ago)

Actually, he may be number one. There should be a word for actors who are very fine on screen, and very, very dull the rest of the time.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:16 (twenty years ago)

"Gifted"?

― Surreal Addiction (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:22 (twenty years ago)

97. tom arnold (esp whenever he's on a talk show)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:24 (twenty years ago)

96. michael freaking bublé

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:24 (twenty years ago)

xxpost Invariably they are, yes. I think Hilary Swank is quite gifted, too. But please don't invite her to my party, ok?

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:25 (twenty years ago)

I like Tom Arnold. Maybe that's just holdover from True Lies, though.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:26 (twenty years ago)

95. George Plimpton

― Aaron A., Friday, 18 February 2005 06:27 (twenty years ago)

94. cher

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:27 (twenty years ago)

have you ever seen arnold on a talk show kenan? he's all sweatin' and tremblin' like he's on the witness stand!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:35 (twenty years ago)

i saw cher's behind the music and she came across as really likeable and charismatic!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:36 (twenty years ago)

This makes me wonder what we're basing our impression of these people on. Talk shows, award shows, and VH1 are probably unfair measuring sticks for anyone's personality. Then again, they are celebrities.

I still maintain that DeNiro's a dead bring person. I've read it too many times to not believe it.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:47 (twenty years ago)

bring = boring

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:47 (twenty years ago)

well it's not like many of us actually attend cocktail parties with these people

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:48 (twenty years ago)

OMG A THREAD WITH A QUESTIONABLE REASON TO EXIST.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:50 (twenty years ago)

anyway, with charisma, either you've got "it" or you don't

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:51 (twenty years ago)

and kenan, kiddo, you definitely got "it"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:52 (twenty years ago)

I'm Hollywood, baby.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:59 (twenty years ago)

http://www.philadelphiaweekly.com/old_pw_images/main/5788_1.jpg

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Friday, 18 February 2005 06:59 (twenty years ago)

93. Jimmy Fallon

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Friday, 18 February 2005 07:56 (twenty years ago)

92. any chinese political leader since mao's wife

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Friday, 18 February 2005 07:58 (twenty years ago)

All the celebrities on "Extreme Celeb Detox".

So:

91. Dominic Diamond
90. Lisa Ianson
89. JILLY GULDEN/GOOLDEN, you know, the wine lady with the frizzy hair, yes, that's her. "Nice bouquet", she sa.
88. Jack Osbourne

My word I can't remember any of the others.

― Lucretia My Reflection (Lucretia My Reflection), Friday, 18 February 2005 09:29 (twenty years ago)

Johnny Depp

― dog latin (dog latin), Friday, 18 February 2005 09:52 (twenty years ago)

86. Holly Hunter. The last time I saw her on Jonathan Ross' show, she looked like she had had her life force sucked out, leaving her a hollow, tiny husk. The conversation was like pulling teeth.

Compare and contrast with Paul Bettany, whose anecdotes about working with Lars Von Trier are most entertaining.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:48 (twenty years ago)

95. George Plimpton
-- Aaron A. (__...), February 18th, 2005.
Its difficult to project charisma when you're six feet under.

― the Undertaker, Friday, 18 February 2005 12:03 (twenty years ago)

85. Kevin Smith. A 'big personality', sure, but the ultimate in anti-charisma.

― NRQ, Friday, 18 February 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

"Big personality" is just a polite way of saying fat.

― King Octoroo, Friday, 18 February 2005 12:13 (twenty years ago)

84. Paul Scholes (by all rights, should be #1)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 18 February 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

83. Anjoeleena Jolly

― peepee (peepee), Friday, 18 February 2005 13:06 (twenty years ago)

wtf? 83 vetoed.

― NRQ, Friday, 18 February 2005 13:10 (twenty years ago)

I find her to be dull, whether she's in her I'm such a rebel schtick, or her more recent and tutored no, I'm really normal stage. Both are forced and very transparent, hence zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

― peepee (peepee), Friday, 18 February 2005 13:16 (twenty years ago)

82. Jared Leto

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 18 February 2005 14:35 (twenty years ago)

You people are all mental (except for Ally).

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

81. Giselle Bunyon or whatever her name is

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 February 2005 14:38 (twenty years ago)

models don't count, they're meant to be as uncharismatic and blank slate as possible, that's their job.

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 18 February 2005 14:39 (twenty years ago)

80. Tim Allen

― NRQ, Friday, 18 February 2005 14:40 (twenty years ago)

although if models do count, than that really dense looking, dead eyed, round headed black-haired girl with the overbite who has been on the cover of every Victoria's Secret major catalog for a year now and even all of my male friends say she's really horrible and uncute and kind of looks like she might hurt you with her stupidity, well that girl, she's #79.

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 18 February 2005 14:41 (twenty years ago)

81 redux: Bill Mahr

x-post OMG I think that's the same one in that commercial with Bob Dylan haha

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 February 2005 14:42 (twenty years ago)

78. Alicia Keys

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 February 2005 14:43 (twenty years ago)

yeah I think she's in the Bob Dylan ad. God I hate her. There are so many cute girls in the VS catalog! The platinum blonde girl or the girl with the fantastic eyebrows, wtf are they favoring this horrible, horrible beast for? Ugh. I have actually started favoring purchasing things from other lingerie stores over Victoria's Secret, not just because their bras and underwear keep getting sized UP constantly but because this girl makes me want to vomit on my own self.

77. Colin Farrell

― Allyzay Dallas Multi-Pass (allyzay), Friday, 18 February 2005 14:46 (twenty years ago)

I can only remember that girl you're talking about because she appears to have NO nipples or something.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 February 2005 14:58 (twenty years ago)

76. Ja Rule

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 February 2005 14:59 (twenty years ago)

75. Naomi Watts

― sugarpants (sugarpants), Friday, 18 February 2005 15:02 (twenty years ago)

No way Candice, OMG! She's like a shimmering my little pony of charisma!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 February 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

74. Grant Nicholas

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Friday, 18 February 2005 15:05 (twenty years ago)

Ha - I'd say Colin Farrell is a WTF pick, but only because he has a buttload of charisma OFF camera & a severe lack of same ON camera.

73. Stephen Dorffffffff

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 February 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

72. Ice Cube

― Remy (sucker in a blue uniform) (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 February 2005 15:25 (twenty years ago)

Wait! I fucked up. I thought this thread was 'At Least 100 Charismatic Celebrities' and I was suggesting Cube, because he's about the first person I want to hang-out with. So for my alternate / replacement uncharismatic turdface:

72. Joe Rogan

― Remy (dumb, inattentive) (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 February 2005 15:27 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 48 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

37. Paris Hilton

I realized while watching 24 that Elisha Cuthbert looks like a Down's Syndrome kid with a sexxxy body. It's kind of disturbing.

― n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:00 (twenty years ago)

36. Keanu Reeves

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:01 (twenty years ago)

35. Jennifer Garner

― firstworldman (firstworldman), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:12 (twenty years ago)

34. TEH AFFLACK

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

Heavens! He's already been mentioned. Reset! ;)

― Aaron A., Friday, 18 February 2005 17:27 (twenty years ago)

33. Diane Kruger

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

32. Kevin Fucking Costner.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 18 February 2005 18:40 (twenty years ago)

31. David Cross

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

30. Cate Beckinsale

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:11 (twenty years ago)

David Cross has some kind of charisma, he's just very annoying.

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:14 (twenty years ago)

I liked Juliette Lewis fine until I saw her hosting some video show on VH1 and talking about her baaaand, maaaan and stupidly mugging and acting like an imbecile and generally deserving a cooter punching.

― Fish fingers all in a line (kenan), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:17 (twenty years ago)

I actually like Juliette Lewis a lot but she is pretty charisma-free.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:17 (twenty years ago)

Daddino otmfm

29. Van Morrison

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

28. Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen VIGGO MORTENSEN

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:24 (twenty years ago)

27. Kyra Sedgewick

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:27 (twenty years ago)

26. DAVID CARUSO

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:28 (twenty years ago)

25. Gywneth Paltrow

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:29 (twenty years ago)

ok - juliette lewis was the first one i thought of. and although repeatedly mentioned, i dont think she has a number yet.

24. juliette lewis

― peter smith (plsmith), Friday, 18 February 2005 19:32 (twenty years ago)

23. The host of "Blind Date"

― Star Hustler, Saturday, 19 February 2005 04:09 (twenty years ago)

22. James Marsters. I wouldnt have believed it, I like Spike - but god, he's a bad interviewee - agitated, nervous, makes little sense. No aura of cool whatsoever. It was a bit of a rude shock - mind you this was based on one interview.

Whoever said Johnny Depp is ARGH WRONG. He's so enigmatic and withdrawn and doesnt play the shitty Hollywood game thing, I love that.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 19 February 2005 04:21 (twenty years ago)

Wow I sound like a 14 year old writing in my LJ, eek.

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 19 February 2005 04:22 (twenty years ago)

Johnny Depp is total Trenchcoat Mafia

― Aaron A., Saturday, 19 February 2005 04:46 (twenty years ago)

Ah don't care what y'say about me, mister, but ah'm gonna have t'ask yuh not t'insult mah Viggo.

― Hey Jude, Saturday, 19 February 2005 15:17 (twenty years ago)

Uh-oh, busted.

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 19 February 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

21. Chloe Sevigny

― Guitarthur and the Ecstasy Defecators (Arthur), Saturday, 19 February 2005 16:50 (twenty years ago)

The dullest It Girl there ever was.

― Guitarthur and the Ecstasy Defecators (Arthur), Saturday, 19 February 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

20. Andie MacDowell
19. Andrew McCarthy

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 19 February 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

18. Matt Lauer
17. Stone Philips

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Saturday, 19 February 2005 19:34 (twenty years ago)

16. Jeff Tweedy

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Saturday, 19 February 2005 19:35 (twenty years ago)

Heavens! [TEH AFLACK]'s already been mentioned. Reset! ;)

Oh, see, Dan got the clan in one fell swoop. Sneaky.

REPLACEMENT:
34. Jon Cryer

― David R. (popshots75`), Saturday, 19 February 2005 22:03 (twenty years ago)

OMG 15. CHARLES GRODIN

― lurk@lurk.com, Saturday, 19 February 2005 23:05 (twenty years ago)

14. Parker Posey

― adam (adam), Saturday, 19 February 2005 23:40 (twenty years ago)

13. Lisa Marie Presley.

When she was interviewed by Jonathan Ross, she looked so uncomfortable and out of place, she could barely take her hands away from her face.

― Oblivious Lad (Matthew Lazowski), Monday, 21 February 2005 03:45 (twenty years ago)

12. Josh Hartnett

― Mike O. (Mike Ouderkirk), Monday, 21 February 2005 06:21 (twenty years ago)

Liking Casey Affleck is my secret shame.

― Nellie (nellskies), Monday, 21 February 2005 06:28 (twenty years ago)

11. http://www.terra.com.mx/galeria_de_fotos/images/111/221352.jpg

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Monday, 21 February 2005 08:33 (twenty years ago)

10. VAL KILMER [by rights should be number 1]

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 21 February 2005 08:38 (twenty years ago)

http://www.bbspot.com/Images/News_Features/2000/7/carson.jpg

― Aaron A., Monday, 21 February 2005 08:50 (twenty years ago)

8. Athlete. There's either four or five of them, but their collective charisma just about constitutes maybe half a unit or so.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Monday, 21 February 2005 09:15 (twenty years ago)

28. Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen Viggo Mortensen VIGGO MORTENSEN
I think you are wrong, and here's why:

He seems to operate exactly the same way as John Travolta. He is always self-effacing and quiet when you see him interviewed, yet everyone around him raves about how great he is, thus creating this great air of mystique. He fishes! He hunts! He learns sword-fighting in moments! He persuades other cast members to camp out with him overnight to watch the sun come up! And they rave about him. That is charisma, like it or not.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 21 February 2005 18:35 (twenty years ago)

DITTOTM: Viggo charmed the fuck out of me in the Lord/Rings "BONUS" featRs. Man-Love to the extreme. I'd like him on my side.

― The Argunaut (sexyDancer), Monday, 21 February 2005 18:47 (twenty years ago)

7. 50 Cent

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 21 February 2005 18:51 (twenty years ago)

6. Stephen Dorff/Ethan Hawke/Skeet Ulrich. I swear they're all the same man.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 21 February 2005 20:19 (twenty years ago)

5. Britney Spears. As charismatic as a tube of toothpaste.

― lovebug starski (lovebug starski), Monday, 21 February 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

4. Tiger Woods y'all. The occasional golfcourse hissyfit doesn't help.

― Aaron A., Monday, 21 February 2005 20:42 (twenty years ago)

3. Gwyneth Paltrow. The archetype of the media's tendency to acclaim any skinny woman as a "beauty."

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 21 February 2005 20:46 (twenty years ago)

2. hillary clinton

― dan (dan), Monday, 21 February 2005 20:50 (twenty years ago)

1. And the winner is Matthew McConaughey based solely on whatever that was at Daytona yesterday.

YOU CAN ALL WAKE UP NOW

― Aaron A., Monday, 21 February 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

See? I told you so. Viggo is what we wish all celebrities would be. Except, I suppose, that would get dull. We need some asswipes like the Hiltons, Richies, Sandlers and Smiths to keep things "interesting."

― Hey Jude, Tuesday, 22 February 2005 00:13 (twenty years ago)

nine years pass...

Jason Bateman is just the worst. A perfectly preserved artifact of 1990 L.A. with permasmirk, every remark ironic in some way. Jeff Goldblum is like this too but I like Jeff Goldblum.

― hook up with a townie! (rip van wanko), Tuesday, 9 September 2014 14:29 (eleven years ago)

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