Bus Ticket Inspectors

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This morning I was on my way to work on the bus. At a bus stop just approaching camden, a bunch of policemen with bright yellow fluorescent were waiting for us as the bus pulled over.

I was thinking that there may have been a murderer on the bus, or something - the last time I saw more than 5 policemen in one place was when there was a biker who got knocked down in the middle of the road - but instead, two ticket inspectors went on the bus to check that everyone had a ticket on them.. and that was all!

I did a quick count as they finally finished checking everyone and left the bus. There were 14 yellow jackets there! About 7 had a police hat on.

WTF? A little over the top perhaps?? I wonder if they had 7 police looking for my car when it went missing.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:28 (twenty-one years ago)

fare-dodging: the latest terrorist tactic

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:32 (twenty-one years ago)

War On Terror. We must be vigilant. We're all going to die etc etc etc

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Oops, stevem beat me to it

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:33 (twenty-one years ago)

It livens up my journey when I get to sit opposite people who are being given fines.

― alix (alix), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

They had three men waiting at the exit door to check everyone as they get off the bus. I considered the idea of legging it past them and then when they catch me and wrestle me to the ground, I'd show them my valid travelcard, and then sue them for any damages done to my clothes.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I've seen your clothes, you wouldn't get much.... mwaap mwaap mwaap mwaaaaaaaaaaaahh

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't do it in the end for that exact reason. But I did do the pretend 'oh i lost my bus pass' fumbling around for half a minute, just to waste some of their time in revenge of them wasting mine. Sweet sweet revenge, indeed.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:40 (twenty-one years ago)

The spirit of '68 lives on! You'll never take me alive, copper!

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:41 (twenty-one years ago)

you're not too old for a clip round the ear sonny jim

― Your Friendly Local Bobby (blueski), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

do they actually have the right to detain you if you tell them you have a travelcard, but don't produce it, and just try to walk past them?

― toby (tsg20), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

wow, ken the x-act same thing happened to me just outta camden yesterday. he busted like 4 fucking people, and they were all kept on the bus till warren street! none of them tried to tell him that he had no legal right to restrain them. who wants to be a hero?

― NRQ, Friday, 18 February 2005 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Belmarsh has set aside a new wing especially for your kind

― Dadaismus (Dada), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

was it a bendy bus? they are starting to introduce teams to stop fare dodging on bendy buses in some areas. maybe they have widened the net

― ambrose (ambrose), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

er how how do you know that they dont have a legal right to "restrain" you? on the trains, they can keep you on till police can meet you on the train. i dont see why they shouldnt keep you on the bus.

― ambrose (ambrose), Friday, 18 February 2005 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

who are you, spiro agnew?

― NRQ, Friday, 18 February 2005 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

ambrose, check your mail.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 18 February 2005 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

The police can't meet people retained on the train quickly because they sent 7 of them to a fucking bus stop in camden.

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 18 February 2005 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

i wonder if the £10s they grab off people pay the wages of the inspectors and police.

― NRQ, Friday, 18 February 2005 12:08 (twenty-one years ago)

surely they foresaw the problem with with Bendy Buses re not needing to pay? if not, heads must roll

― Alienus Quam Reproba (blueski), Friday, 18 February 2005 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

In my bitter experience the police can do whatever restraint they like and then obfuscate until you involve solicitors waaaaaaay later.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

ken did you notice anyone's face turning vermilion?

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

there's nothing to be ashamed of. london transport is a fucking zero-sum game between Teh Man and the passengers. if it got me 3 miles in less than 90 minutes more often i would feel happier paying up.

― NRQ, Friday, 18 February 2005 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

There was one period when I was getting on the bus with an out of date ticket so often, I just kept a £10 note in my wallet so that had a ticket inspector showed up on the bus I could just calmly take out my carefully folded £10 note and say "I'd like to pay the fine please."

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:02 (twenty-one years ago)

The other day, there were about 7 yellow jackets on the bus, and I couldn't get it on, coz they had taken all the space.

The world's gone mad.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

solution - get yourself a yellow jacket and enjoy london transport FOR FREE!!!

― ken c (ken c), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

This shit has been happening on Melbourne PT for some years now, thanks to them getting rid of conductors and replacing them with at-station and on-tram ticket machines. People just werent paying, so they've had to bring in inspectors, who do have power of arrest or something I think, and have gotten into hot water over accusations of harrasment and strongarm tactics and the like in recent times.

The amount of them Ive seen around at times, makes me wonder why they dont just bring back a damn conductor on each tram, and a bluddy attendant at all stations, people have to pay, more jobs created! Insane.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 21 February 2005 00:05 (twenty-one years ago)

In Sheffield, when the tram lines opened in the mid-90s, there were European-style ticket-and-validation machines at each stop. They didn't last long; within a year or so, the tram company had ripped them all out and switched to having conductors on each tram to sell all the tickets.

(partly, there were problems with British people not understanding the continental system where you buy a carnet from your local shop and get each ticket validated when you want to use it)

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 21 February 2005 07:32 (twenty-one years ago)

hopefulyl there will be a swing back to conductors over different types of Pt. i know routemasters mean the end of in in buses, but nottinghams swish new tram people decided to use conductors in stead of machines cos it would work out cheaper when run thru the Cost benefit Analysis Lie-Machine, and having seen Shef Supertam swtich to human ticket interaction.

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 21 February 2005 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

also the amount of people you can get on a Bendy Bus means having at least two staff per bus is a very good idea not just fot collecting fares but also for 'keeping the peace' and re-assuring passengers generally.

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Monday, 21 February 2005 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

I got very sad thinking about Routemasters this morning whilst on the 12. It's like someone took away a little bit of joy and didn't leave anything equivalent in its place.

― alix (alix), Monday, 21 February 2005 16:59 (twenty-one years ago)

wots a routemaster? a kind of bus? i can't really associate buses and joy.

― NRQ, Monday, 21 February 2005 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

routemasters are beautiful but uncomfortable beasts. the future is ugly but soft.

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Monday, 21 February 2005 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Routemaster = the old fashioned London Bus with an open platform at the back for getting on and off

(xpost)

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 21 February 2005 17:03 (twenty-one years ago)

There is nothing soft about a packed bendy bus.

― alix (alix), Monday, 21 February 2005 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I HATE BENDY BUSES

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 21 February 2005 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i really think that bendy buses will have to ben withdrawn at some point. i think they were a mistake.

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 21 February 2005 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

They are bringing them back to the 207 bus route...coz like they bought them already :(

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 21 February 2005 18:47 (twenty-one years ago)

i've not really noticed any problems with them, it just depends on the route. the 'easy to fare-dodge unless inspectors get on' is the only real howler - tho perhaps there are some London streets too narrow for it - the 73 and 12 spring to mind as being problematic at some point route-wise. any others?

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Monday, 21 February 2005 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Major problems:

1) You can't open the windows, and they get really smelly in summer.
2) No upstairs
3) I hate and fear change

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 21 February 2005 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I never ever see ticket inspectors on buses in Oxford.

are Oxford people just too honest or something?

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 21 February 2005 19:00 (twenty-one years ago)

bendy buses are great. the 73 is the only bus on which i'm guarenteed to get on after work each day.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 21 February 2005 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

although it could just be because the route is not as popular as the 29 or 134.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 21 February 2005 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd have thought you'd struggle to get on the 73 at the first attempt - must be absolutely heaving at that time, tho i suppose they run so many that it evens out well enough. 25s ALWAYS ALWAYS have people's faces pushed up against the doors.

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Monday, 21 February 2005 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

major problems for me is that they take up so much road space and cause often srerious delay, far more than a normal double decker. this doesnt really fit in with the idea of trying to ease congestion, like when a bendy bus is trying to get round the corner at kings cross and blocking about 3lanes of traffic.

i should check the tfl site to see if bendy buses even run near kings cross, but i cant be bothered. i seem to remember this happening to me sometimes when i lived in london.

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 21 February 2005 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

haha i suppose this is a cutting jibe but its lost on me cos i don';t know what it means. "who are you, spiro agnew?"

isnt that some american dude? is he some sort of bus-fascist?

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 21 February 2005 19:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate bendy buses. Every time I'm on one something happens like: people ring bell and bus stops. Doors open and a few people squeeze out before a crowd pushes in, pinning elderly ladies with their shopping or people with small children or luggage onto their seats in the very back, where it's hard to move once you're back there. The people cramming on can't see that other people are trying to get off, and the doors quickly close. Repeated rings of the bell (and shouting from the back of the bus) fail to alert the distant driver that something's wrong.

And what jel said. They smell worse than any other London public transport. (Except possibly the north london line.)

― sgs (sgs), Monday, 21 February 2005 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the 29 is my fave bus route anyway. It goes to the Zoo (well almost) AND Trafalgar Square! And it passes through Harringay! Oh the brilliance of the bus!

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 21 February 2005 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

73 is bendy and goes through kings cross

― Ed (dali), Monday, 21 February 2005 19:09 (twenty-one years ago)

major problems for me is that they take up so much road space and cause often srerious delay, far more than a normal double decker. this doesnt really fit in with the idea of trying to ease congestion

i suppose they theoried that because they were bigger there would be less of them running so less traffic in the long run...more cost-effective short term/long term i'm not sure

i'm not sure why i'm defending them! but i've experienced more problems on double-deckers than on bendies re driver closing doors too early or forgetting to open them at all. partly because i rarely need to get on a bendy tho perhaps.

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Monday, 21 February 2005 19:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 63 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Cooed?

― alix (alix), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Let's raise the tube from underground, so that it sits around 30 feet above the city. Shouldn't cost too much. Make it steam powered too.

so like the el trains?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost Coooed?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Cheer Leaders?

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

no jel trains, obv.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

All trains should have Radio Two played in them. I have been enjoyed it all day. Glen Campbell, Scott Walker and now A-HA. What fragrant joy!

― alix (alix), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

They should have Radio 4 playing on them, busking

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i love the el

― Sven Bastard (blueski), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"El Is a Sound of Joy"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 22 February 2005 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

You load of sad wankers. If you do not like the bendy buses don't use them.

I do not care for a website full of bored nerds with nothing to do all day but I felt the need to react to this one after reading a letter in a newspaper which had this address at the bottom.

If you do not like bendy buses, fine. DO NOT spread your hatred via the internet. What next, ihateblackpeople.org. ihatejewishpeople.org.

Finally, get over the Routemaster. It was a fabulous machine but can you really have a bus nearly 50 years old travelling around a capital city of the world. You only have to look at the dislike towards the slam door trains (nearly equal age) to see that the Routemaster is a bandwagon that sad people with empty lives feel the need to jump on.

― Homer Simpson, Sunday, 5 March 2006 10:23 (twenty years ago)

BUT YOU COULD GET OFF WHEN IT WAS STUCK IN TRAFFIC

― dave q (listerine), Sunday, 5 March 2006 10:34 (twenty years ago)

i dont ride the bus, im a famous popstar

― hilary duff (gareth), Sunday, 5 March 2006 10:34 (twenty years ago)

"a letter in a newspaper which had this address at the bottom"

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 5 March 2006 10:43 (twenty years ago)

Best bandwagon ever!

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 5 March 2006 10:47 (twenty years ago)

is bangwagon real?

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 5 March 2006 10:50 (twenty years ago)

Yes, but it's a fucking relic. Embraces the new bangybuses.

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 5 March 2006 11:04 (twenty years ago)

"Embrace", rather. It was an exhortation.

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 5 March 2006 11:05 (twenty years ago)

the Routemaster is a bandwagon that sad people with empty lives feel the need to jump on.

*ONLY FIVE SAD PEOPLE WITH EMPTY LIVES STANDING. THE BANDWAGON ISN'T MOVING TILL YOU GET OFF*

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 5 March 2006 11:10 (twenty years ago)

You only have to look at the dislike towards the slam door trains (nearly equal age)

if slam door trains didn't have the slam doors. i'd love them.

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 5 March 2006 12:08 (twenty years ago)

What's wrong with the fucking slam doors?

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 5 March 2006 12:09 (twenty years ago)

they're made by jewish ppl :-(

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 5 March 2006 12:14 (twenty years ago)

oh.

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 5 March 2006 12:15 (twenty years ago)

also. the doors prevent me from getting on and off the train at will

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 5 March 2006 12:16 (twenty years ago)

(whilst the train is in motion)

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 5 March 2006 12:17 (twenty years ago)

www.ihateslamdoortrains.org

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 5 March 2006 12:18 (twenty years ago)

What are you on about? The whole point of slam doors is that you can open them whenever you want. OK, not the whole point.

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 5 March 2006 12:21 (twenty years ago)

really? i thought there was a mechanism that locks the doors when the train starts. but now i realise that maybe there isn't and i've wasted so much time when i waited for the trains to stop!

it'd still be better without doors though.

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 5 March 2006 12:26 (twenty years ago)

SAD BASTARDS!

― Homer Simpson, Monday, 13 March 2006 12:28 (nineteen years ago)

they're just doing their job.

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 13 March 2006 12:31 (nineteen years ago)

like CONCENTRATION CAMP GUARDS.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Monday, 13 March 2006 12:33 (nineteen years ago)

buses and/or trains with radio 2 played in them all day is my utter utter nightmare

― ambrose (ambrose), Monday, 13 March 2006 14:06 (nineteen years ago)

?
is that what they do in concentration camps?

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 13 March 2006 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

that is truly some torture

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 13 March 2006 14:44 (nineteen years ago)

ambrose, embrace your demographic, you are a Radio 2 target now.

― Ed (dali), Monday, 13 March 2006 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

buses and/or trains with radio 2 played in them all day is my utter utter nightmare

those kids at the back grow up so fast!

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 13 March 2006 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

haha!

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Monday, 13 March 2006 14:49 (nineteen years ago)

WHY DON'T ALL YOU SAD LONELY WANKERS TRY NORMAL ACTIVITIES LIKE WOMEN, BEER AND SOCIAL INTERACTION WITH NORMAL PEOPLE (SAD WANKERS IN WEBSITE CHATROOMS NOT INCLUDED).

ONLY THEN HAVING EXPERIENCED NORMAL ADULT LIFE WILL YOU REALISE JUST HOW CHILDISH AND SAD YOUR LITTLE CHATROOM IS.

ONCE AGAIN, IF YOU DON'T LIKE BENDY BUSES DON'T USE THEM. WHY NOT GET A BIKE. CYCLISTS ARE IRRITATING, UNSOCIALABLE DICKHEADS WHO WEAR LYCRA. YOU WOULD ALL FIT IN PERFECTLY.

CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE WWW.IHATECYCLISTS.ORG.UK

― Homer Simpson, Monday, 20 March 2006 22:55 (nineteen years ago)

;_;

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 00:46 (nineteen years ago)

aw, that's not even a real website.

― emsk ( emsk), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 08:35 (nineteen years ago)

What is UNSOCIALABLE? We MUST KNO!1!1!!!!!!

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 08:39 (nineteen years ago)

I like the prospect of this becoming a once-weekly revival by the mysterious vitriol-spouting Bendy booster.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 11:01 (nineteen years ago)

"little chatroom" indeed. ilx is huge!

― Real Goths Don't Wear Black (Enrique), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 11:03 (nineteen years ago)

also, not a chatroom.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 11:05 (nineteen years ago)

yes, I can't see the walls.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 11:11 (nineteen years ago)

wots the diff between a chatroom and this, uh, experiment in living?

― Real Goths Don't Wear Black (Enrique), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 11:12 (nineteen years ago)

bigger gaps between posts

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 11:46 (nineteen years ago)

Homer Simpson = Ken Livingstone?

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 12:15 (nineteen years ago)

bendy booster?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 13:17 (nineteen years ago)

sounds like a new grand theft auto mission

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 13:19 (nineteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

Thanks for the badges, although I always take mine off when I travel on the dreaded 'death' bus in case I ever see a ticket insepctor.

DId you see the headline of the standard on Friday, picture of dozens of policeman in Whitehall? Was it a terror attack, parliament bombed?? No bendy bus ticket checks!!

― Bill westmorland, Monday, 10 April 2006 23:43 (nineteen years ago)

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