have you ever run away from something you know you really wanted (or thought you knew you really wanted) for reasons you don't know/can't confront?

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i'm real good at forgetting how fucked up i actually am when there's no chance of any kind of intimacy around.

― jermaine, Saturday, 19 February 2005 08:06 (twenty years ago)

Oh yeah. I saw him again a few years after that. We both looked at eachother. We smiled. We talked. I walked away. Thom's happy my friend dragged me away - she always ruined my *chances* - and I walked away. But the main reason? I would sometimes deny myself what I really wanted.

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Saturday, 19 February 2005 08:30 (twenty years ago)

dude, jermaine, you're biting my style

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Saturday, 19 February 2005 09:19 (twenty years ago)

I do this all the time

― caitlin (caitlin), Saturday, 19 February 2005 15:24 (twenty years ago)

i've realized that really the only thing standing between me and my sex life is me.

― jermaine, Saturday, 19 February 2005 15:38 (twenty years ago)

See, the only thing standing between *me* and my sex life is the whole finding-people-who-are-attracted-to-me thing.

― caitlin (caitlin), Saturday, 19 February 2005 16:07 (twenty years ago)

Well, yes, Caitlin, I hear you there - though maybe it's more of a "finding people who are attracted to me, who don't make my skin crawl" thing.

― Kate Kept Me Alive! (kate), Saturday, 19 February 2005 16:11 (twenty years ago)

story of my life

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Saturday, 19 February 2005 16:15 (twenty years ago)

maybe i should have elaborated - it's really a whole 'finding-the-incredibly-rare-number-of people-who-are-attracted-to-me-and-not-driving-them-away-by-acting-inexplicably-strange-and/or-bailing-at-the-worst-possible-moment-in-the-worst-possibly-way part of me that's doing the standing between.

― jermaine, Saturday, 19 February 2005 16:39 (twenty years ago)

yup

― caitlin oh no (caitxa1), Saturday, 19 February 2005 16:59 (twenty years ago)

since i filed this under 'angst', i'm just gonna use this thread to whine periodically. fuck, i'm miserable today. i've been having an uncharacteristically optimistic couple of weeks, and now i feel as i'm just gonna fuck up anything good that comes my way.

― jermaine, Saturday, 19 February 2005 17:21 (twenty years ago)

shoot yourself then like my man hunter s thompson dude

― Ximenes Cricket, Monday, 21 February 2005 09:48 (twenty years ago)

She ran away from me apparently.

― Deerninja B4rim4 AKA Mike Skinner (Barima), Monday, 21 February 2005 16:30 (twenty years ago)

Even worse than running away is staying at that maintainable distance where you can keep an eye on that which you would run from, but without actually ever taking it upon yourself to act on your impulses, because you're too _____________. (insert appropriate adjective)

After all these years, I'd hope I would've learned by now that, if I'm going to regret something, it might as well be something I did rather than something I ran away from.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 21 February 2005 16:35 (twenty years ago)

i dunno, it's not *always* wise to act on a feeling

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Monday, 21 February 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

you've generally got more than one shot, no? so what's the rush?
and i ask this of myself. often.

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Monday, 21 February 2005 22:34 (twenty years ago)

two weeks pass...

hmm

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 10 March 2005 04:57 (twenty years ago)

miserable today, too. wanna sleep together? usually that solves things...

wait thats all wrong. i sometimes feel like no, we don't have more than one shot. once things are wrong there isn't much you can do to fix things.

i am over sensitive and ridiculous though. least i can admit it.

― jane (jane), Thursday, 10 March 2005 05:09 (twenty years ago)

over sensitive and ridiculous is like my mantra. I say it like twenty-five times each day when I'm feeling somebody dislikes me.

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Thursday, 10 March 2005 05:13 (twenty years ago)

Story of my m*****f******ing life. Jane: in my experience that doesn't fix things so much as wreck them beyond hope of redemption. Which is in its way a form of solving things, although a destructive one.

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 10 March 2005 05:21 (twenty years ago)

why is everyone on ilx so sad these days?

or maybe i'm just tuning it in lately?

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Thursday, 10 March 2005 07:26 (twenty years ago)

no, we're sad.

although: i think i've unfucked up. i got another shot.

― jermaine (jnoble), Thursday, 10 March 2005 07:41 (twenty years ago)

It's been gloomy lately, yeah.

― daria g (daria g), Thursday, 10 March 2005 08:54 (twenty years ago)

I never got the copy of the metro on the bus last week because the guy who was reading it put it next to him, and i wasn't sure whether he had finished with it.

He had finished with it (we both got off at the same stop and he just left the paper on the bus)

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 March 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

I have discovered where in Victoria Station they keep the MASTER BATCHES OF THOUSANDS OF METROS. It's like all my commutes have come at once!

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Thursday, 10 March 2005 12:15 (twenty years ago)

omg did you take all of the copies and hoarded them all?

Whilst I was in America I never got my go on the DDR, even though I put my token on the machine but the kids there just disregarded it, and I didn't want to confront him because he was a kid and also he was probably the best heavy player in town.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 March 2005 12:18 (twenty years ago)

actually i mean he was one of the best heavy players in town.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 10 March 2005 12:18 (twenty years ago)

Metro is a nasty, nasty rag. Why not take a book on the train/bus?

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 10 March 2005 12:21 (twenty years ago)

Well, duh, I read a book. I'm reading Dodie Smith's I Capture The Castle right now.

But first, it's a commuter PWN GAME to see who can capture the Metro. I like the fact that each of these newspapers gets read by sometimes even dozens of people. I like putting it down and seeing who else picks it up and wondering how many hands it will pass through before it finally gets recycled.

Plus, their headlines' bizarre grammar and lack of definitely articles is a wonder. Who else can claim the HOSPITAL BED BOY DRAMA?!?!?

― Masonic Cathedral (kate), Thursday, 10 March 2005 12:25 (twenty years ago)

Now I want to write a 2000s equivalent of I Capture The Castle called I Capture The Metro.

(the best bit - especially of the Scottish Metro - is the letters page)

(I'm not sure what the best bit of I Capture The Castle is, but it does have a great opening line)

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 10 March 2005 20:51 (twenty years ago)

Fear of failure, no? Simple as that, no?

That said, I'm going out for dinner with a friend who I'd some time ago nursed/euthenized a major-major, deep romantic longing for. It's all in the past, but I insist on reminding myself why no one else has ever really measured up lately.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Friday, 11 March 2005 00:11 (twenty years ago)

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