evil security.

so im taking the elevator from the bay station, and im with a bunch of office workers and the like, plus two security officers. im listening to my head phones, im not really paying attention to anyone, and im just kind of tired--ive been depressed and i havent been able to sleep, its what depression does to me. one of the transit cops corners me at the top of the elevator, and accuses me of calling her a bitch. i didnt

(deep background-- i have dealt w. this woman before, she gave me a ticket for one pecadillo or another, and i had a melt down about it; it was a few days after i was assulated b y two punkettes in the darkest edges of university station, a couple of days after the transit cops told me they couldnt do anything about it--i still have back pain from those steel boots ending up near my kidney; so i dont like this woman but i havent been in edmonton for half a year and i had beurcratic bullshit to deal with that day, no thots at all about the general pettiness of the edmonton transit.)

i keep walking, there is no reason at all why i have to deal w. this woman today, there is nothing she can hold me on--she and he are playing good cop/bad cop and i have things to do that dont involve dealing with certain kalfkaesque mazes. they push me to the ground, i get up. they yell at me, i call the cops. they call the cops. i keep telling her i didnt do anything. the cops come, an anglo and a woman, the woman acts tough, the anglo acts confused, im crying, trying to get up, most likely raising my voice, dropping the f bomb, nbot showing enough respect, trying to get the fact thru that i didnt call this woman a bitch, i hadnt seen this woman in two years, i hadnt been in edmonton for half a year. the supervisor is playing esprit de corps--they officer is never wrong and the customer is never right and he gets all southern sherriff on my ass. (Which resulted in a ban)

the cops come there are more words exchanged, im on the floor tryinf to calm myself down and they drag me up, i slip and fall, i have a seiizure on the stairs, i get minitasered because they think im resisting aresst, im in a daze fucked and confused about all of this nonesense. i'm in the back of a cruiser and i start crying. the good cop from the west midlands ask me if im seeing a doctor (they mean a shrink--i try to tell them i have aspergers, that i cannot talk to people in authority, that i have no langauge to express whats happening to me at this moment. They think im crazy, they have no idea whats going on...anmd neither do i.

The cops drive me a block, i get my buisness dealt with, i walk out, try to deal with the consquences of my escalating, and wondering what made this woman think that i called her a bitch---was i listening to something and singing along, was i going thru a to-do list in my head, did she have a vendetta from that first time i went buck on her ass ?

In the 6 months I have been in Toronto, not one incident with security, bus dribers, ticket takers, those nice people in the subway booths--they were professional, kind, gentle. they dealt with my twice daily seizures, they let me on after i got home from the hospital, they let me go with expired transits. 2 weeks in Edmonton and im banned for the year. I'm going back to the big smoke as soon as i can.