Fear of growing up

depends when you need to find a job that earns enough to buy a house.

(Matt, is present joyful mood directly related to midweek socialising etc? Or just to Spring, sorted-out head, etc? This seems kinda the key question maybe)

Around here? Never. ;-)

re: first paragraph..i dunno, it's not really about the house, but sometimes i think about whether i'd be happy if i'm to be in the same career etc. situation i'm in right now, in 5 years.

and say if i won't be happy, what would i have to show for say like in a job interview if somebody asks me what i'd been doing the last 5 years.. and that got me kind of scared and i realise i should try harder at work.

I would do it, absolutely. My advice with regards to any question like this that comes up in life is almost always to Go For It, because the alternative is spending the rest of your days wondering "what if?" and probably kicking yourself.

Midweek socializing and length of commute is just a comfort zone issue, honestly. Don't know what how your mileage varies, the pain of adaptation can be rough once in a while but other times you barely notice.

Is a great way of putting it. Answering your question Greg, no, it doesn't directly relate to midweek socialising (which I haven't done a huge amount of in recent weeks/months), although more that I do have a pretty active and hugely enjoyable social life, while having enough money and little enough responsibility to get the most out of it. Essentially, I've in the comfort zone for too long and maybe its harmed my chances at doing other things, I don't know.

There are other, less frivolous concerns here - is this potentially a dead-end career path? Will I look back in two years time and find I've wasted that time? Will I be rubbish at my job and get found out? But these are mostly standard changing-jobs anxieties.

assuming this job is still in Central London i can't see how it would affect your social life THAT much. it just means you may have to stop going home before going out again i.e. not being a menk ;)

I've completely given up on having a master plan. Even when I qualify I will be in a fairly low-paid industry, as is Matt. I've accepted that I will never make lots of money AND be happy and fulfilled at work (so am going with the happy), but this isn't true for everyone obviously.

It's a common dilemma I think and there's no right answer.

You have to question whether things are really important to YOU or just important to who you THINK you should be.

It's contract killing, isn't it?

A: I accepted a long time ago that it is highly doubtful that I will ever score a job that is FUN. that is why it is called WORK. the idea that you can LOVE everything about what you do for a JOB is some kind of horrible career counsellor bullshit, rotting the minds of our children with promises of utopia.

B: I am materialistic! I like to travel first class and drink the good stuff and have nice things. A "good" job means MONEY so I can PAY THE BILLS and THEN SOME. Money also provides a very simple answer to a LOT of problems.

I mean there's several of us in my office who occasionally reduce to discussing the idea of moving to some sunny burg where we can all get jobs serving ice cream but I don't actually think anybody is seriously considering it, it's kind of a joke, see.

I mean, telecommuting is nice if you can do that, but haha hahahaha never mind. I quit! Chocolate almond fudge? $3.95 please! Thank you!

What's not clear is whether this is this is the decent, progressive job you mention. If I was sure on that then this would be a no-brainer - I'm just incredibly cautious about manouvreing myself into a career path I don't want to be on.

(My would-be boss was incredibly hot, which threw me slightly in the interview)

a) I am married and don't like work keeping me away from my wife
b) I value my spare time not so much for socialising (of which I do comparatively little) but because it affords me the opportunity to spend time on creative projects which essentially keep me sane and happy.

I think all of the concerns you have brought up are definitely worth thinking about, and in some ways I'm with Tombot, also because I have a shocking sense of entitlement. I make okay money now in a very low-stress/flexible/comfortable job, but just before this I made very good money (for someone of my age/skillset) in an interesting high-stress job at a very high-profile company. I have to say that I'm happier now, even as I sell off all of the ridiculous and expensive toys (fucking Goped) I bought myself with my old salary.

(I am not even so much hostile as confused by the Tombot argument - I mean, as a student my income is a year £7300 including money from my parents and stuff. That includes paying for rent but ok rent is subsidised a bit, I would probably need a bit more.

Aaaanyway, the *point* is I totally have everything I would want to buy and when I don't I just, like, buy it. And also I *save up money for next year*. So I'm not totally clear on what I'd gain from a non-fun job, even though I look into them all the time and vaguely feel I should get one.)

In any note, Matt, I say that you stay where you are and rethink this in two years. Come up with a plan of attack on how to advance your career.

I am planning on re-evaluating my situation by 2006. I know for sure I can't take commuting for much longer.

*Which they inevitably now won't.

if so you can quit. i'm *not* the person to ask; although i'm as materialistic as anyone (all for turning hegel on his head, sorry what was the question?) i can't hack not having time to read, and it's as simple as that.

but if you're psyched about the job then you should do it, see what happens, bail if it doesn't work out.

I strongly object to jobs which make it impossible to have a social life. I dated someone who worked some insane amount of hours per week and I just couldn't understand why he did it. Like, it can't be *that* hard to have a job and a social life. I know which is more important to me. (I guess that's why I still don't have a career or a house at my age. But you know what? He doesn't have a girlfriend or a relationship at his age - due to his insane work hours I'm sure - so I know which I'd prefer to have.)

Anyway... I don't know. Good luck with it all. I've just been offered my dream job at an ad agency, and I've just accepted it, so we'll see how my opinions change if and when it starts to eat into my Life.

For me flexibility is v. important, it's more important than money. At the moment as long as I do the work, I can turn up late, go home early, work at home (where I am now), take my daughter to school, get to gigs if we're playing out of town etc etc. I don't actually like the job or the company, but the conditions compensate for that.

I'

I GOT THE JOB! Actually, I got TWO, within the space of about half an hour, including one I thought I'd never hear back from. Best decision to have to make ever.

I'm now going to go out, get really fucked up, play the rockingest DJ set ever and have sex with a foxy indiediscogirl. God I love life.

Enjoy the job decisions, the fucking up and fucking and the DJ set. Rah for Matt DC! Congratulations!

I don't regret the decision (though the first two months were *rough* mentally in terms of re-adjusting my time/priorities and re-evaluating myself), but I don't think I've "grown up" either, which I'm still semi-afraid of (marriage, buying real estate...).

Congrats Matt!