daft what bball great is what rock critic thread

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chuck eddy = charles barkley

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 24 February 2005 20:58 (twenty years ago)

Chuck starred in an opera about shoes?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 24 February 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

"LA SPATZI NO! Now about Rancid and Lindsay Lohan..."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

mark sinker = dominique wilkins
xgau = bill russell
meltzer = connie hawkins

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

sasha frere jones = jordan

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:00 (twenty years ago)

I HAVE WELL THOUGHT OUT BACKUPS TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF MY ASSERTIONS

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:01 (twenty years ago)

Doubtless.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:01 (twenty years ago)

haha, I totally thought Xgau / Russell when I saw this.

Bangs = Pete Maravich

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

chuck nevin : brent d.

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:11 (twenty years ago)

HAHAHAHHA

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:13 (twenty years ago)

Legs Diamond = Dennis Rodman

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:15 (twenty years ago)

klosterman = kurt rambis

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:16 (twenty years ago)

you flatter him!

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:16 (twenty years ago)

haha, Legs McNeil, duh. Legs Diamond is for the gangster/bballer thread...

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:17 (twenty years ago)

stelfox = john salley

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:18 (twenty years ago)

sherburne = grant hill

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:18 (twenty years ago)

Surely c eddy = bill laimbeer!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

john leland = bernard king

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

Or however the fuck you spell it.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

reynolds = dr. j

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:19 (twenty years ago)

sherburne as hill, wow what an insult!

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:20 (twenty years ago)

Kelefa = Magic

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:20 (twenty years ago)

dave marsh = rick barry

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:20 (twenty years ago)

no way dude! i love them both.

(xposts)

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:20 (twenty years ago)

harvell = moses malone!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

Does rock criticism have a Shaq?

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

spud webb : gina arnold

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:21 (twenty years ago)

hahahaha gygax otm

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:22 (twenty years ago)

greil marcus = bill walton

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:22 (twenty years ago)

Dave Marsh isn't cantankerous enough to be Rick Barry.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

bonus points to whoever can turn a shaq/kobe double play

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:24 (twenty years ago)

Mark Sinker should be Dennis Rodman, too.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:24 (twenty years ago)

actually i can see blount's reasoning on that one

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

Ryan Pitchfork = Kobe Bryant and Chris OTT=SHAQ!!!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:25 (twenty years ago)

ott = ron artest

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

Haha I want my bonus POINTS, Mark! Stop trying to change OTT!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:27 (twenty years ago)

nick tosches = bill bradley

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:27 (twenty years ago)

Kogan = Kareem

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:27 (twenty years ago)

sorry alex, i'm just not comfortable making ott shaq!

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:28 (twenty years ago)

The Big Uncomfortable.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

seward = chris mullin

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:29 (twenty years ago)

woah is scott a drunk?

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

not totally unrelatedly, i was just thinking that it's too bad the mavs got rid of nash. they could have put nash, bradley, dirk, and recent arrival keith van horn together and made the world's tallest emo band.

― dan (dan), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:31 (twenty years ago)

DeRogatis = Oliver Miller

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:32 (twenty years ago)

woah is scott a drunk?

uhoh scott is up from his pabst nap

-- dan bunnybrain (bunnybrai...), February 17th, 2005.

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:33 (twenty years ago)

(i love you scott)

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:33 (twenty years ago)

rob sheffield = christian laettner

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:34 (twenty years ago)

oh that's good

― mark p (Mark P), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:36 (twenty years ago)

Robert Palmer = Oscar Robertson

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:37 (twenty years ago)

Who the fuck is MIKAN?

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 24 February 2005 21:38 (twenty years ago)

Skipping 36 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Twin Cities = Boston Celtics

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Friday, 25 February 2005 02:49 (twenty years ago)

Michael Daddino = Robert Pollard

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Friday, 25 February 2005 02:52 (twenty years ago)

Haha if we get to nominate ourselves then I call dibs on being Mark Eaton

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Friday, 25 February 2005 02:54 (twenty years ago)

http://www.nba.com/jazz/0001images/history_53.jpg

"WTF I cannot BELIEVE how bad the new Daft Punk is! AGH"

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Friday, 25 February 2005 02:57 (twenty years ago)

I think of you more as Kelly Tripucka.

this is the harshest thing i've ever read on ilx.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 25 February 2005 03:33 (twenty years ago)

jess harvell : shawn kemp

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 25 February 2005 03:33 (twenty years ago)

we need an iverson and a lester bangs

― Shmool McShmool (shmuel), Friday, 25 February 2005 03:37 (twenty years ago)

I think of you more as Kelly Tripucka.

this is the harshest thing i've ever read on ilx.

Obviously you know nothing about Steve Stoyko.

― Andy K. (ADK), Friday, 25 February 2005 03:37 (twenty years ago)

true

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 25 February 2005 03:45 (twenty years ago)

oliver wang = jason richardson

― Shmool McShmool (shmuel), Friday, 25 February 2005 03:57 (twenty years ago)

derogatis is bill walton

― Shmool McShmool (shmuel), Friday, 25 February 2005 04:02 (twenty years ago)

Actually he is whoever is currently most upset about the idea of a 3-point shot

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Friday, 25 February 2005 06:23 (twenty years ago)

jess harvell : shawn kemp

now that's just mean.

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 25 February 2005 06:29 (twenty years ago)

exactly. bill walton is a total basketball rockist.

― Shmool McShmool (shmuel), Friday, 25 February 2005 06:51 (twenty years ago)

And a deadhead! OMG

Gavin McInnes* = Ron Artest

*not a rock critic really but who gives a rat's ass

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Friday, 25 February 2005 08:38 (twenty years ago)

tim finney : kobe bryant

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 25 February 2005 09:15 (twenty years ago)

HOLY SHIT COZEN WTF????

― j blount (papa la bas), Friday, 25 February 2005 09:28 (twenty years ago)

isn't he like young and great?

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 25 February 2005 09:39 (twenty years ago)

haha ok www.google.com woops sorry tim! brits shdn't play this game.

― cozen (Cozen), Friday, 25 February 2005 09:42 (twenty years ago)

haha i thought you were letting loose some crazy drama there

― j blount (papa la bas), Friday, 25 February 2005 09:55 (twenty years ago)

if motherfucking brother jones is jordan i'm motherfucking lou alcinder and wilt PUT TOGETHER.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 25 February 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

i'm not denying his talent but COME THE FUCK ON BLOUNT JORDAN WAS NEVER IN UI.

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 25 February 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

AHEM, JORDAN : ACTUALLY PLAYING BASEBALL :: SFJ : ACTUALLY PLAYING MUSIC

― j blount (papa la bas), Friday, 25 February 2005 17:53 (twenty years ago)

blount's weisbard = doug christie thing still has me laughing

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Friday, 25 February 2005 17:58 (twenty years ago)

anyway. lenny kaye = dr j, clearly.
peter wolf = master p

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Friday, 25 February 2005 18:00 (twenty years ago)

rip hamilton = john mayer

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Friday, 25 February 2005 18:02 (twenty years ago)

and how am i sue bird???? was that a come-on, blount?

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Friday, 25 February 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

and meltzer = lenny bias

― Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Friday, 25 February 2005 18:04 (twenty years ago)

rollie pemberton = kevin garnett

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 25 February 2005 18:28 (twenty years ago)

yeah, ui = '94 chisox

― mark p (Mark P), Friday, 25 February 2005 19:11 (twenty years ago)

Matt Cibula = Eduardo Najera

― Josh Love (screamapillar), Friday, 25 February 2005 19:27 (twenty years ago)

Rollie is Nazr Mohammed.
ScottPl is Malik Rose.

― Josh Love (screamapillar), Friday, 25 February 2005 19:31 (twenty years ago)

Rodman/Sinker: If he no longer insists on being the blondest person on the room, and also starts Kabbalah lessons, he might have a second shot at Esther (Artist Formely Known as Madonna). Allred: Meadowlark lemon

― don, Friday, 25 February 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

yeah, ui = '94 chisox

roffle!

― hstencil (hstencil), Friday, 25 February 2005 20:57 (twenty years ago)

don with the most OTM self-characterization I have ever read, here or elsewhere.

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Friday, 25 February 2005 20:59 (twenty years ago)

oh and Josh Love = Josh Smith

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Friday, 25 February 2005 21:03 (twenty years ago)

at next year's Dunk Contest, he'll don the ratty green-and-black flannel shirt I wore every other day in 7th grade as tribute. RESPECT!

― Josh Love (screamapillar), Friday, 25 February 2005 21:57 (twenty years ago)

Chuck Eddy not Laimbeer at all. Laimbeer was an enforcer, Chuck an agitator (but also a coach). So...

Chuck Eddy = Danny Ainge

― Frank Kogan (Frank Kogan), Saturday, 26 February 2005 03:08 (twenty years ago)

can we do this with baseball now?

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 26 February 2005 03:10 (twenty years ago)

haha some (note: not me) think chuck eddy is very much the danny ainge of the village voice

― j blount (papa la bas), Saturday, 26 February 2005 03:14 (twenty years ago)

harry allen = wes unseld

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 26 February 2005 03:47 (twenty years ago)

greg tate = bob mcadoo

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 26 February 2005 03:47 (twenty years ago)

ed morales = bob lanier

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 26 February 2005 03:50 (twenty years ago)

Ann Powers* = Kobe Bryant

*I don't agree with most of you that she is a bad critic; this is just about the way people know she got skills but think she's evil

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 26 February 2005 03:53 (twenty years ago)

Matt, I've met Ann and she is one of the least evil people there is. Worst thing I can say about her is that she can be too glib with the received idea.

― Frank Kogan (Frank Kogan), Saturday, 26 February 2005 04:16 (twenty years ago)

I have nothing against her, Frank! Honest! Some other people do, though.

― The Obligatory Sourpuss (Begs2Differ), Saturday, 26 February 2005 04:22 (twenty years ago)

?can we do this with baseball now?

This would be much easier for me.

Frere-Jones = Ozzie Guillen
Sinker = Derek Lowe (too easy)*
Eshun = Warren Cromartie
Rabid = Frank Tanana
Eddy = Mark Fidrych (or Oil Can Boyd) (or Chris Sabo)
Erlewine = Dave Kingman
Ex = Vince Coleman
Marsh = Glenn Hubbard
Tate = Cecil Cooper
Strickler = Johnny Estrada
Reynolds = Gaylord Perry

...which of course makes me Chris Nabholz.

*I think I once played against him! (Lowe)

― Andy K. (ADK), Saturday, 26 February 2005 04:48 (twenty years ago)

btw, to mookieproof, I would think Andy knows that the Tripucka thing was most emphatically *not* an insult! it was more of an in-jokey Detroit thing. Tripucka was the first basketball player I ever loved!! plus, he was a total SOUL BROTHER NO. 1

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Saturday, 26 February 2005 05:02 (twenty years ago)

(also the Matos/Taurasi thing was in no way an insult; she's one of the greatest athletes I have EVER had the privilege to watch. I loooove her. She also feisty and opinionated and a total TEAM LEADER)

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Saturday, 26 February 2005 05:03 (twenty years ago)

i mean, honestly, if I wanted to insult someone, I'd just go like

Jessica Hopper = Jack Haley

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Saturday, 26 February 2005 05:08 (twenty years ago)

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